#willowzero.

Darkness, I'll always be your girl.

he understands. he understands because he does not calm me down and I do not want to be calmed down. he doesn’t pity me he loves me but he doesn’t mind that I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick and he doesn’t tell me to be rational he knows there’s no such thing and he knows how I taste and how I feel and he decides he decides he decides

[ THE PAGE IS SPLATTERED WITH BLOOD, SOME OF THE INK SMUDGED SO BADLY IT IS INDECIPHERABLE. THERE IS LIPSTICK AND TEETH MARKS AT THE CORNERS, AS THOUGH IT HAS BEEN BITTEN TO STIFLE SCREAMS. SOME WORDS ARE JUST SCRIBBLES, ATTEMPTED AGAIN AND AGAIN. THE PEN RUNS OFF THE PAGE AT TIMES, AS THOUGH THE AUTHOR HAS BEEN JERKED VIOLENTLY MID-SENTENCE. ]

he decides what's important and what the taste is and how much is enough and there is never enough and too much is an inevitable breaking point he keeps me dancing on the edge of and i want to die and i want to live and the ghosts are singing and he is laughing and the noise sounds the same and i feel so tired i haven't felt this tired in years and he is so beautiful he says i'm better than an angel he says i'm better i'm god i am god and he loves god, god is all over his hands and i am red and sticky and i look in the mirror as we fuck and i see god i don't recognise those brown eyes they belong to a dead girl and i am god and he decides what god means and today god means--

in the dark i wait right here where i once sunbathed with all of my dreams unfit for day with all of my tears and all my rage