#willhemina venable

A/N: Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me.

Thank God. Chuckling, Wilhemina nodded. Both of her hands now caressed Billie Dean’s back. Brown eyes stared at the woman on top of her, with lips red, breath labored, pupils dilated… angel. Venable desperately wished she could just go and be a normal person, a normal adult in love with another. I have never been normal. She blinked. “Let me go get it.” Wilhemina lovingly pecked Billie one more time before she began to get up, lip caught between her teeth, face scrunching up with tears out of nowhere. Quickly, she walked to the kitchen.

Billie Dean was left on the couch with her heart aching and her breath still labored. She gulped and reached for her hair, making sure everything there was in place. The room had grown uncomfortably quiet, even though music hummed on the background. She sighed. I don’t know what to do. No sound came from the kitchen, almost as if Billie were alone in the house. Is she alright? Waiting there and doing nothing was hard for Billie Dean, but also what if Venable needed a moment alone? I shouldn’t. But she would anyways. With steps that barely produced any sounds, Billie tiptoed to the kitchen as quietly as she could—thankfully, the door was open ajar. Quietly poking her head inside as to not be seen, honey eyes landed on Wilhemina quietly dealing with the tears that cascaded down her cheeks, one palm covering her mouth while the other squeezed the cane as harshly as she could manage, hips resting against the counter. Billie Dean’s own eyes grew misty. She felt guilty, even though she rationally knew she was not at fault. Gulping, Billie Dean kept on watching Venable; the way she took quiet deep breaths, the way she scrunched her eyes so tightly as to stop her tears, the way she looked down at the floor and shook her head in disbelief. “I’m so tired,” Wilhemina whispered, and Billie blinked twice as she hid herself a little more. “I just want to be normal,” Venable whispered again. Billie Dean’s heart ached even more, and as she kept on discreetly watching, Purpura jumped on the counter and meowed at Wilhemina, catching her attention. A teary smile spread across Venable’s features, and Billie Dean’s own face mirrored it. “You shouldn’t be on the counter,” Wilhemina whispered, hand reaching to caress the cat between her ears. Honey eyes paid attention to every single detail of the scene that was not for them to be watching. “I love you, darling,” Venable bent down the best she could and kissed Purpura’s little head. “Thank you,” she sniffled, soon sighing again. Billie kept on watching as Wilhemina gulped, tears eventually stopping but cheeks still wet. “She deserves so much more, Purpura… I wish I could give her everything I want to.” Catching her lower lip between her teeth, Billie Dean figured it was time to walk away. Making no sound yet again, she made her way back to the living room. A sigh escaped her lips.

“What can I even do?” Billie questioned herself out loud. She took a deep breath, sitting back down at the couch and closing her eyes, head resting against the backrest. How painful was it, to love someone who felt so poorly about themselves? It’s not that the boundaries were the hard thing, but the reason for them. How could Venable—the Wilhemina Venable, perfect in every single way for Billie Dean—see herself that way? Feel that way, cry that way? I need to learn more about her. Billie desperately wanted to help, but she couldn’t do it without fully understanding where everything came from. Does she even understand? Was it even her place to try and help Wilhemina that way? In the middle of such internal turmoil, Billie Dean only realized how severely the temperature of the room had dropped when her arms wrapped themselves around her own body. Instantly, honey eyes snapped open. She looked around. This isn’t normal. Venable had, after all, shown to be quite susceptible to the interests of the other realm. With the hair on her neck standing up, Billie sat a little better and kept her senses sharp. A thin gush of air flew by, moving her locks just slightly. Honey eyes kept on looking around, lips mouthing a silent prayer. ’I need you to help me,’ the thought came flying through her mind, a thought that clearly wasn’t hers. “I know you’re here,” Billie Dean said out loud. “Who are you?” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Nothing. “What do you want?” She tried again. Another gush of air flew by, this time accompanied by the smell of raw eggs and a hint of lavender. Billie frowned. A certain weight suddenly appeared on one of her shoulders. She gulped again. “Who are you?” She insisted. ’Help me.’ Another thought, this time with a faint voice. Billie Dean kept herself stiff, trying to understand whatever was behind or beside her. The smell kept on getting stronger. ’She does not know.’ “Who does not know?” Billie asked out loud. The weight got heavier. ’Her… my…’ Behind her eyelids, Billie began to see shapes and forms and odd colors; nothing made sense. ’She needs to know.’ Rain mixed in with the shapes, loud thunder clouding her ears and her ears only. “Show yourself,” Billie Dean commanded. An even stronger gush of air flew by. Honey eyes opened themselves. Nothing. “I’ve surrounded myself and this house with the power of the white light, you can’t hurt me nor anything inside this property.” ’I won’t stop.’ The voice was back again. The lights flickered. The smell intensified itself more and more. ’She… is… mine…’ Billie’s body filled up with goosebumps. “You’re not from this realm, therefore you no longer have any power or belong in here in any way.” The temperature dropped one more time, making it quite impossible not to shiver. Billie Dean gulped. “Leave this property alone.” ’Not until I get what I want.’ “Show yourself, then. Tell me what you need.” Honey eyes looked around, searching for any signs of something there. The lights flickered harshly, now. “Show me.” ’Supposed… to be… mine…’ “Nothing here is supposed to be yours, you don’t belong to this realm!” ’Will be known.’ Understanding that entity was hard. Billie could feel her head starting to throb. “Show yourself or be gone!” As the words left her mouth, everything suddenly went back to normal. Billie Dean blinked twice. Her hands trembled as she took a deep breath.

“Billie?” From the corner of the door, Venable frowned.

Honey eyes felt heavy. Billie’s body still shivered as she fell onto the backrest again, consciousness wanting to slip out. I’m going to faint. “Mgh,” she mumbled, for that was the best she could manage right now.

With her eyes growing to the size of the moon, Venable rushed to sit beside Billie Dean. She reached for her hands, flinching at how cold they were. “What happened? Are you alright?” Wilhemina was no fool; she had seen Billie like that before. The room is colder. She looked around. “What did you feel?”

Venable’s sharp mind never failed to amaze Billie Dean. She squeezed her warm hands, breathing slowly. Her consciousness still felt weak, so she focused on the warmth and the energy Wilhemina provided. Billie Dean kept on taking deep breaths. As best as she could manage, she scooted closer to Venable and leaned her head on her chest, taking in her scent. I shouldn’t be this drained. One hand slipped away from hers and an arm soon wrapped around her shoulders, caressing it.

“I’m here,” Wilhemina whispered. She’s as cold as ice. Venable caressed Billie Dean’s perfect back as she leaned to kiss the head of blonde hair against her chest. Down on her other hand, she could feel how tightly Billie held it. What did she see? Once again, brown eyes looked around; everything looked perfectly in place. She chewed on her bottom lip. Billie breathed weakly, eyes still closed. Wilhemina figured it was best to give her time and space.

After a few minutes, when Billie Dean finally felt like her consciousness had gripped tight on her once again, she gently pulled away and took a deep breath. Venable watched her attentively. “There’s something in your house.”

Fiery eyebrows moved closer together. Wilhemina felt the hair on her neck standing up. “What… what do you mean?”

“It might be attached to you, or to the house, but there is… something. Something different from last time.” Billie knew these waters very well; the smell of raw eggs was way too distinct from decaying meat, and while it wasn’t necessarily good, it was definitely not as bad. There’s lavender, too. It indicated whatever it was meant no harm, at least intentionally, and was familiar. Billie Dean bit her inner cheek as she thought. Venable’s eyes were open wide as she kept them glued on her. “Tell me… tell me what you know about your family?” She asked gently, cautiously.

Family. Wilhemina didn’t know what that word meant. She looked down at their still intertwined hands. How fucking dysfunctional can my life be? “I don’t know anything about them,” she answered, short and simple.

Billie Dean took a deep breath. She moved closer, reaching to caress Venable’s warm cheeks with her free hand. Honey eyes noticed how brown ones twinkled at the corners. This is so fucking hard. “What do you know?”

Gulping harshly, Wilhemina’s brown eyes looked away. Billie bit her lower lip. “I know I was a-abandoned by someone at the door of the o-orphanage I grew up in.” A tear slid down her right cheek. Venable still refused to look at honey oceans. “I had a note with my n-name and d-date of birth in it.”

Billie Dean nodded. She herself took yet another deep breath, fingers caressing the skin underneath them as soft as she possibly could. “Did you have a bracelet or… something?”

Swiftly, Wilhemina wiped a tear that slid down. She briefly looked at Billie’s eyes before looking away once again. “T-the only thing I had was a p-purple blanket.”

Oh. Suddenly everything made sense. Billie Dean blinked twice. She nodded. “I’m sorry for asking you all that… I just need to understand a few things so I can try and find out why that entity is around you.” Venable shook her head as she gulped the huge lump in her throat and looked down. Billie nibbled on her lower lip a little harder. “I’m here if you ever need to talk… you know that, right?”

Wilhemina knew, yet she didn’t really feel. After a lifetime of being alone, feeling like she had someone was hard. Logically, she knew; emotionally, how could she feel? “T-thank you.” Billie Dean nodded but didn’t say anything, giving her space to think. Venable let go of Billie’s hand to wipe her face clean, eyes down and still too ashamed to look at her. After a minute or two, Wilhemina looked back up. “Dinner is… is ready.”

That’s a no on talking. Billie nodded. “Can I help you set the table?”

Venable nodded.

In no more than thirty minutes, dinner had been served and finished with; they loaded the dishwasher and got back to the couch, talking about nothing at all as they finished the bottle of wine Billie Dean had brought them. Their nerves had calmed down from each of their turmoil, and the wine now fulfilled its goal and made everything lighter; after such an eventful day and week, they deserved a relaxed night with each other.

Wilhemina sipped the last of her wine as she stared at Billie Dean’s rosy cheeks. One of her legs had intertwined itself with Billie’s as they sat down, and she could feel her own skin growing hot. “I’m glad you enjoyed dinner.”

“It was delicious,” Billie Dean hummed. She sat her empty glass back on the center table, honey eyes never once leaving brown ones. She looks ravishing like that… Red really complimented Venable’s features.

“The wine was a great choice.” Taking a deep breath, Wilhemina allowed herself to relax on the couch. Purpura lay asleep on the armchair at the corner of the room, snoring lowly. Music still hummed on the background, a faint buzz.

“It went perfectly with the chicken, didn’t it?” Billie licked her lips as Venable hummed in agreement. In her tipsy state, Billie Dean couldn’t help but stare at Wilhemina; at her relaxed eyes, her moist red lips, her crimson cheeks —all courtesy of the Rothschild. The light was low and yellow now, giving them a more informal atmosphere. Why was that entity here? The question popped inside Billie’s mind; she decided to ignore it. Let them have at least a single night to forget about all the sorrows.

“Would you like more wine?” Wilhemina asked softly. More wine couldn’t hurt right now, right? She was in the company of Billie Dean, nothing could hurt or happen right now. I shouldn’t lose control. But control had already been given up when she allowed that woman to enter her life and mess with her heart like she already had. Billie is safe. Besides, she could use the quietness of her nerves after her little show to herself in the kitchen earlier. I just want to be normal.

Billie Dean nodded. “Sure.”

“Alright.”

Honey eyes watched as Venable disappeared into the kitchen once again. Billie bit her lower lip and let her head fall back on the headrest of the couch, sight fixated on the ceiling. She took a deep breath. Her ass is looking delicious in those trousers. The thought caught her off guard. Billie Dean chuckled to herself. Alright, take it easy with the wine.

“It’s not as fancy as Rothschild, but it should do,” Wilhemina’s voice cut the humming of the song. Billie sat back up and smiled at her. She’s so fucking beautiful. Venable’s chest fluttered deliciously. “I got us some bonbons as well.”

“That’s perfect.” As Venable sat back down, Billie Dean already held both of their glasses up. Carefully, Wilhemina poured them more wine before resting back and taking a sip. Billie did the same, eyes never leaving Venable. “This is good,” Billie Dean hummed. She reached for a piece of chocolate and popped it into her mouth, feeling as it melted right on her tongue. “Mm…”

“I’m glad you like it.” Wilhemina sat her glass back down, crossing her legs as she relaxed. The sound Billie Dean made caused the hair on her neck to stand up. She bit her inner cheek and reached for a bonbon as well. “Are you more of a dark or white chocolate kind of person?”

“Is it too bad if I say white?” Billie grimaced playfully. Venable let out a small chuckle and shook her head, reaching to take another sip. “I know it’s technically not chocolate, but I love it. I do like milk and dark as well, I just prefer white.”

“I figured.”

“Why?” It was Billie Dean’s turn to drink a little more. One of her legs reached for one of Wilhemina’s, caressing it.

Venable shrugged shyly. “It’s sweeter… like you.” Billie felt the corners of her lips tugging up. “I just figured you’d prefer it. That’s why I got us the box with all kinds.” I definitely didn’t need to say that out loud. The wine had clearly managed to loosen her tongue already. Thankfully, the low light hid the growing blush on her cheeks.

“That’s so thoughtful of you, darling…” Billie Dean smiled sweetly.

“I’m always thinking of you.”

With her heart fluttering, Billie bit her lower lip. Their eyes kept themselves glued on one another, sharing the same emotions. I love you, she wanted to say, I love you, I love you, I love you… Gently and carefully not to spill her drink, Billie Dean moved closer to Venable and reached to caress one of her cheeks. “I’m worried about you,” she allowed her heart to speak, for the words she wanted to say were not meant to be let out loud just yet. Wilhemina frowned. “I heard you… earlier, in the kitchen.”

Oh no. Venable gulped. She focused on the soft caress on her skin, fingertips as light as a feather as they traced it. “I’m sorry,” she nearly whispered. The wine clouded her brain and caused her thoughts to come in foggy patterns. She blinked once. “I didn’t—you weren’t meant to hear that.” Shame would have crawled inside hadn’t the wine arrived first. Her feelings seemed to flourish. Brown eyes grew misty. “D-did you follow me?”

Setting her glass back on the center table, Billie Dean shook her head. Please, don’t get angry at me. Wilhemina had set her glass aside as well and now hugged herself, shoulders shrunk and small. Billie’s heart ached. “I went to check on you since you seemed to be taking too long…” Silence. Billie Dean gulped. Her hand longed to reach for Venable again, but she knew she probably needed some space right now. I shouldn’t have accepted that second bottle of wine. Her mind felt too hazy for that kind of conversation. “D-did I cross any lines?”

Closing her eyes as she allowed Billie’s words to sink in, Wilhemina took a deep breath. A tear slid down her cheek, which she swiftly wiped away. “You n-never do, Billie Dean… I just… I…” Opening her eyes again, Venable could no longer think clear; she had too many feelings, too many thoughts, too many glasses of wine in her system. “I w-want to make love to you.” The words were gentle but still assertive, firm. Billie’s eyes opened a little more, positively taken by surprise. “I want you to see me, I-I want you to love me, I want you to touch me, kiss me… I-I want to touch you, I want to make you feel good. And I c-can’t.” Another tear slid down. “T-this morning, all I wanted w-was to give myself t-to you. Earlier, I j-just wanted to t-take you right then at this c-couch. And I c-can’t. I freeze e-every single damn time. I-I feel as if I’m suffocating. I t-think about my b-back and at how disgusting I a-am and I just—I just c-can’t move, I feel petrified. I want to be normal. I want to have a normal relationship and I-I want to be enough for y-you, I want to make y-you feel good… I want t-to give you w-what you should b-be receiving from m-me… and I c-can’t.” She sighed. And then she took a deep breath and stared down at her hands—surprisingly, they were not shaking. I need to stop talking. Instead, Wilhemina looked back up and to honey eyes; the movement caused everything to get a tiny bit blurry. Venable felt anesthetized, and despite everything, she was quite sure she saw nothing but something awfully similar to love in Billie Dean’s warm oceans. “I d-don’t think I can handle losing you… certainly not for being d-disgusted by me. And so, I d-don’t allow myself to continue, because I can’t risk continuing without you.” Once again, Venable sighed. Her head was spinning, her mouth was dry and she somehow felt like she needed more wine.

As Wilhemina reached for her glass, Billie gently stopped her with a hand on her arm. Their eyes met yet again, and Billie Dean gulped the lump on her throat as matching tears fell down her cheeks. Inside her chest, her heart seemed to be trying to escape. “I l-love you, Wilhemina.” It was visible the way Venable’s heart skipped a beat; she stopped in place. “Do you hear me? I love you, W-Wilhemina Venable. I a-am utterly and completely in love w-with you. I love you. You.” Without thinking, Billie reached for both of Venable’s cheeks; she cupped them. Down her waist, she felt the way Wilhemina now clung to her, holding her as tightly as she could. Their breaths mixed in notes of grape and tobacco. “You want m-me to love you b-but I already do. You don’t want t-to continue without me b-but I am the o-one who can’t continue without y-you… I love you.”

“I…” The alcohol nearly vanished from Venable’s system, leaving her senses tingling and eyes as waterfalls. Her mind went blank. She sniffled. “D-did you… do y-you… y-you love me?”

“Yes,” Billie Dean chuckled softly as she nodded. Her lips opened into a smile that reached her eyes, causing them to be even warmer under the yellow dim light.

Wilhemina couldn’t help but smile as well. She almost didn’t believe the words, but the way Billie smiled at her was enough to calm all her thoughts down. “I l-love you, t-too. I love y-you so much, Billie Dean. I… I love y-you. I h-have never loved anyone the way I l-love you and I realize I sound so a-absolute cliche and silly right n-now but it—“ a pair of lips cut her words. Venable closed her eyes as she kissed Billie back, slowly melting down. I really needed to stop rambling, after all. Their lips moved slowly.

“You don’t sound silly at all,” Billie Dean murmured after a minute or two. The hands down her waist still held her close, fingertips caressing her on top of the dress. Wilhemina gulped, clearly nervous still, and so Billie carefully reached to wipe the last of her tears away. “You give me exactly what I need… you give me patience, kindness, understanding… you give me the feeling of not being alone, of being seen and known… what else could anyone want from their lover?”

Nearly inaudibly, Venable whispered, “I-intimacy.”

Billie Dean shook her head. “What is more intimate than allowing someone to come into your life and settle themselves into your heart?” Wilhemina just stared at her in silence, dimple of worry back between her fiery eyebrows. Billie smiled sadly, thumb tracing Venable’s cheekbone. “Nothing.”

“E-eventually, you will g-get frustrated with me,” Venable nearly whispered once again. How tough could Wilhemina be on herself? It never failed to amuse Billie Dean. “Y-you’ll need more, and I might not be r-ready.”

“Do you really think I’m so shallow like that? That my love for you is that fragile?” Billie’s words were a shot in the dark; she knew they could backfire horribly, but she had to try and do something. And so, she watched as Venable frowned even more, cheeks tinting a darker shade of crimson that, even in the dim light, could be noticed. “My love, I would wait forever for you… I would wait this lifetime and the next if I had to. You mean so much to me, don’t ever think otherwise.”

In a loss of words, Wilhemina licked her dry lips. Why do I allow myself to doubt her? Guilt began to invade her once again, but now it carried no real meaning. She was past feeling guilty, she was past allowing her past to control her future. “I didn’t m-mean to imply I found y-you shallow,” she said after a minute. “I just… I…”

“It’s okay.” Billie Dean gently lifted Venable’s head so they were looking at each other again, for brown eyes had fallen down. “I know you don’t, but I needed to find a way to make you stop martyring yourself for something you can’t nor should control… I just want you to understand I love you, in the purest ways and in the most beautiful meaning of the word… I love you. Nothing can change that, Wilhemina.”

How can she manage to deal with me so well when I myself don’t know how to? Venable nodded as she gulped the lump that rose inside her throat once again. She took a deep breath. “Y-you mean so much to me,” she whispered. “I just w-want to do it justice.”

“You do. I promise you.” Billie leaned closer and lovingly pecked Wilhemina’s lips. It was a struggle, but Venable allowed herself to relax against them. I wish I could make all her turmoil go away. The world had done Wilhemina so incredibly dirty.

“Thank you,” Venable murmured against Billie Dean’s lips. My heart could stop beating right now and I doubt I’d feel a thing. She kissed her again, reaching to cup the base of Billie’s neck with one of her hands; she caressed it, pulling her closer. Billie Dean happily obliged.

After a kiss of two, they pulled away. Billie stared at Venable, eyes light with care and affection. “What is your favorite kind of chocolate?”

Letting out a tiny laugh, Wilhemina relaxed back on the couch once she reached for her glass of wine. Billie Dean motioned her with a smile. “Dark.”

“I figured,” Billie teased.

“Why?”

“It’s sophisticated, just like you.”

“Silly,” Venable murmured as she took a sip of wine. She loves me. She loves me. She loves me. Wilhemina felt suffocated in such a delicious way that left her all giddy inside.

Billie Dean laughed softly, leg bumping against Venable’s as her heart fluttered happily. She as well took another sip. I want to scream out loud that that woman loves me. That I belong to that woman. “I find it delicious to mix it with fruit,” she commented.

“Indeed,” Venable nodded. “Especially orange.”

“Oh, yes.”

“I said no, of course.” Venable watched how Billie’s chest had begun to move a little faster. She’s nervous. Wilhemina could feel herself starting to grow overwhelmed, and Billie Dean’s fingers no longer felt right tangled in her own. As gentle as she could, Venable pulled her hand away. Billie blinked once, glancing down at their hands. The look that settled on Billie Dean’s face caused Wilhemina to feel even more disappointed in herself. I’m hurting her. But her whole body refused to allow itself to be touched, to be felt, to be noticed as something that existed in physical form. Billie only nodded, waiting for Venable to say something else, anything else. Wilhemina’s jaw was tense again. “B-Billie, what happened between you and Terry?”

For a second, everything Billie Dean could hear was a faint buzz. Slowly, her body recovered from the sudden rush of adrenaline that had just washed down. She licked her dry lips, blinking once or twice. “What did she tell you?” I should have talked to her about it. I should have done it before she had the chance. Venable didn’t answer, she only looked away. Billie frowned a little more, holding her emotions back the best she could. “Wilhie, what did she tell you?”

Wilhie. Venable stared down at the floor, body refusing to allow her voice to come out. She pushed it through. “She just… she told me y-you did the same to her— to Terry… d-date her, I m-mean. And then you—you got tired and just… discarded her.”

“I never dated her,” Billie quickly said. “We went out a few times, but we—we never dated.” Her heart had accelerated its pace, for Billie Dean knew where this was going. “There w-were no feelings, and she was not fired b-because of that. It had nothing to do with o-our so called relationship.” She saw right there in Venable’s eyes how she didn’t seem to believe her. Fuck! Honey eyes filled up with tears. “Wilhemina, I d-don’t know what she told you, b-but it was nothing l-like us. Nothing. It was never serious. We only—we hooked up a few times, but we never even went out on a proper date.”

“Will you get tired of me, too?” It was barely a whisper, but one that came in a strong tone and as cold as ice. Venable hated herself for allowing it to come out like that, for allowing her walls to control her like that. Her posture was rigid again, both hands on the cane and head up high. Defensive. Scared.

“I will not.” There was no doubt in that. Billie gulped the lump in her throat. “I d-didn’t get tired of h-her. No one k-knows what happened.” A tear slid down. Billie Dean paid no attention to it. Her hands ached to just hold the woman in front of her. “W-Wilhie… Wilhie, please… I—I don’t k-know what else to tell y-you.” Another tear slipped down, followed by another, and another. She sniffled, never once looking away from Venable. Stop crying, for fuck’s sake!

“Tell me w-what happened.” Wilhemina’s voice trembled, betraying the coldness of her posture. Too many things went through her mind, each one of them taking her to a worst place.

With her eyebrows drawing close together, Billie Dean sniffled. She nodded as she took a deep breath. “Not here.” Venable frowned. “Meet me in the garage in five minutes.”

“Why?”

“T-trust me?”

Wilhemina bit her inner cheek. Staring at those honey oceans that always carried so much kindness, she wondered how could she ever say no to Billie Dean. How could she ever deny her anything when she stared at her with eyes so full of tears and so full of fear. She nodded, and in a gush of even more trust, reached to squeeze one of Billie’s hands. I never meant to hurt her. “I do.”

Taking another deep breath, Billie squeezed Venable’s hand back. “I p-promise I’ll give you a-all the answers.”

Wilhemina nodded. The sight was breaking her heart. Hesitantly, she let Billie Dean’s hand go and followed back to her table, heart beating fast.

Alone in her office, Billie Dean sat back down on her chair. She tried taking a deep breath, but a sob cut through. She felt ashamed. She felt judged by something Venable hadn’t even seen yet. Covering her eyes with her palms, Billie forced her body to calm down; this time, air filled her lungs slowly, completely. Her body craved for nicotine yet again, and she didn’t have another choice but to give in. Reaching for her purse, Billie Dean grabbed a cigarette from the pack she had there along with a lighter and walked to the huge window of her office, opening it carefully. She took drag after drag with eyes staring at nothing at all, focused on blurring colors as she kept herself trapped in all the thoughts that ran through her mind. What if she decides I’m too much for her? Finding someone like Venable had been so hard… it wouldn’t have been anyone but Wilhemina.

It didn’t take long for Venable to get up and walk to the elevator, nail picking on the skin of her thumb— an unconscious, nervous habit. She did notice how Emma stared at her, clearly curious, clearly angry, clearly wanting to get up and follow her to know what was happening. She wouldn’t have the nerve. As Wilhemina stepped into the elevator and the doors closed, she sighed in relief for being the only one there. Her stomach turned as the floors started to go down, mind on Billie, focus on Billie, heart on Billie. What could be so bad? What even could have happened that could be so bad? Why am I so scared? Venable knew why… what if she were being used? What if the Billie Dean she knew was a lie carefully constructed to play some sort of trick on her? I knew it was too good to be true. Billie gave her no reason to think that way, but the part of Wilhemina that refused to see any good on herself screamed louder. As the elevator stopped and the doors opened again, Venable hesitantly followed into a more secluded area of the garage. She hadn’t seen Billie Dean pass through the main office, which meant she wasn’t there yet. She stood there waiting, nibbling on her inner cheek at the same pace her nail dug on her skin. Not even five minutes later, the doors to the elevator opened to reveal Billie, with her sunglasses on and purse in hand. Venable watched her from the corner of her eye, hand squeezing the cane harshly.

As Billie Dean looked around in search of Wilhemina, she caught herself still sniffling the remaining of her tears. Her eyes had grown red and swollen, and her mascara had been all smudged—she tried wiping it off, and at least it got somewhat presentable. Sunglasses were always a lifesaver, though. Her head picked up as she saw a hint of purple, and she watched as Venable stood there so nervous she couldn’t hide it this time. Billie sighed. Please, don’t change your mind. “Hi,” she said softly as she approached Wilhemina.

Turning around, Venable smiled a little. “Hi. She’s wearing glasses. Wilhemina wanted to lean closer and kiss her lips; wanted to hold her hand, comfort her and caress her fingers. But her body refused to allow it, standing on the ground with feet glued on it and refusing to draw closer.

Billie gulped again, eyes falling down. “My car is—is to the left.”

“Your car?” Venable frowned.

Billie Dean nodded. “I need—I want to show you the whole thing.” Her eyes hesitantly moved back to brown ones. Wilhemina looked even more confused. I won’t be able to wait until we get there. Every second that Venable stared at her like that broke her heart a tiny bit more. But also, what was the best to do? Wilhemina was a very logical person, and so perhaps the best was, indeed, to wait.

Venable’s first reaction was to deny getting away from the workplace while she was, technically, working. But Billie Dean was the boss, and even if she weren’t, Billie Dean was her priority right now. So she nodded and followed Billie along until they got to her car. “Thank you,” she nearly whispered as she got in, holding her cane on her lap as Billie Dean closed the door.

“Of course.” Billie walked to the driver’s side and got in as well. She took a deep breath as she buckled up, and then she took her glasses off and turned on the car. Wilhemina watched her closely, eyes tracing each and every line of her. I’m so embarrassed.

Her eyes are blotchy. Venable’s thumb was back at picking on her skin. “Where are we going?” She asked after a second. The car was already moving, and as Wilhemina took a deep breath she realized just how much it smelled like Billie Dean. I want to hold her.

“My house.” Billie licked her lips as she looked over to the sides before moving forward.

“Your house?” What could they possibly do at Billie Dean’s house? Venable was lost; completely lost. She watched as Billie nodded. “Why?”

Billie bit her inner cheek, fingers silently drumming on the wheel. Her stomach kept on twirling. “The… the documents are a-all there.” Her eyes started to grow teary again. She sniffled.

Documents? Wilhemina was starting to grow worried—not for her feelings, not for her trauma, but for Billie Dean. She had seen Billie worried and nervous like that before, and it was never something good. Reach for her hand. Venable eyed them on the wheel. “Billie, you’re worrying me.”

Wiping a tear away, Billie Dean sighed. After a minute or two, she finally gathered the courage to speak again. “I’m scared,” she breathed out. They stopped at a red light, so she was able to look at Venable.

Oh no. Wilhemina didn’t know what to do, how to react, how to comfort Billie when she herself needed comfort. “W-why?” Her voice trembled. Her nerves started to grow agitated. Hiding her feelings had become hard all of a sudden.

“B-because.” Billie Dean sniffled again. Her eyes refused to stay dry. “Terry, she… no one k-knows about i-it. I’ve been d-dealing with that alone, n-no one knows. And I’m scared y-you’ll look at me differently when you f-find out.”Gulping yet again, Venable shook her head. The light turned green, they moved forward. Billie kept on sniffling as she drove, wiping the running tears away the best she could.

Wilhemina had grown quiet again. Would anything be able to make me look at her differently? It wasn’t fair to think something could; not with how Billie Dean had treated her so far, not with the amount of comfort that woman brought to her. She wouldn’t do something that could cause me to look at her differently. Struggling to pass through the walls, Venable began to dig a hole. She bit her lower lip and closed her eyes, thumb now bleeding. I don’t want to lose her. Haven’t my ways taken too much from me already? Every single time Wilhemina happened to be struggling around Billie, she had been anything but kind, loving, sweet. It’s not fair I don’t do the same. Venable wanted to do the same. She dug and dug and dug until she could see a small amount of the outside, and then she opened her eyes again. Billie Dean kept her waterfall eyes on the road. “B-Billie,” she barely managed to whisper. They stopped at a red light again. Their eyes met. She’s terrified. “I… I l-like you for who you a-are. That’s n-not changing.” Taking all the strength she could, Wilhemina reached for Billie Dean’s free hand. She tangled their fingers and caressed it, feeling the soft skin against her own.

With her face scrunching up with tears, Billie shook her head. Her eyes fell down to their hands, and she squeezed Venable’s back as if it were the last time she would be able to do so. “I-I’m ashamed of what happened,” that was all she managed to whisper.

Wilhemina’s frown grew. She knew that feeling well… almost too well. She kept on caressing the fingers tangled in hers, watching as Billie Dean cried more and more. I should stop talking. She’s driving. Billie had to calm down. “Just… just know I’m here with y-you.”

With another nod, Billie Dean got back to driving. She sniffled nonstop, trying to bring her nerves down. With her hand tangled in Venable’s, her chest filled with air a tiny bit easier.

The rest of the ride was quiet. Billie used the time to calm herself down as best as she could, and Wilhemina never once let her hand go; it was the best she could do right now. When they got to Billie Dean’s house, her eyes were dry and only slightly red. She reached for her purse and opened the garage, gently letting go of Venable’s hand as she parked the car. When the engine stopped, Billie took a deep breath. So did Wilhemina.

“Eleanor must be here,” Billie Dean broke the silence. It took a minute for Venable to remember whom Eleanor was, but she nodded anyways. Billie got out of the car and walked to the other side, ready to open the door for Wilhemina; she was already getting out. I need another cigarette. As they followed inside, Venable caught herself regretting not bringing her purse along. She had her bottle of Valium there, and even though she had already taken one today, the fear of a panic attack raising was very much present right now. Billie Dean didn’t dare offering a hand to Wilhemina. Right now, she honestly didn’t feel like she deserved to be held by anyone. The living room was substantially tidier this time Venable noticed, and the whole house smelled like a flower she couldn’t quite point to. “Eleanor?” Billie called. In no more than five minutes, a blonde, pale woman walked into the living room holding a cloth.

“Hello, Ms. Howard. I didn’t expect you here so early.”

Ms. Howard. Billie Dean had already asked Eleanor not to call her like that, but she didn’t have the energy to bring that up right now. “It’s alright. Is everything okay? Could you get settled well?”

“Yes. Thank you, Ms. Howard.” The woman smiled. Wilhemina watched how she eyed her once, smile never leaving her lips. She also took notice of how, even though very much distressed, Billie Dean was still as nice as always. How can I ever see her differently? “I’m cleaning the downstairs bathroom and the pool area right now. Should I clean something else first? Would you like me to prepare you lunch?”

Billie shook her head. “It’s perfect as it is, Eleanor. Thank you so much. There’s no need to prepare us lunch, and when you feel like eating, use the house phone and order whatever you’d like, as always.”

“Right.” Eleanor nodded. “Thank you, Ms. Howard. I’ll go back to doing my job, if you need anything just call me.”

“Alright.” Billie Dean offered her the best smile she could. Excusing herself, Eleanor disappeared on the back door. Taking another deep breath, Billie turned to Venable. Going upstairs is hard for her. “I’ll go grab the documents.”

Wilhemina nodded; her chest clenched from how defeated Billie Dean looked. As Billie disappeared upstairs, Venable caught herself sighing. She walked to the couch and took a seat, hands nervously squeezing the cane. Her eyes scanned the room she had seen only once before, trying to distract herself with the details she could capture: the awards on the shelf, the TV that could almost be mistaken by a painting of birds, the beautiful chandelier. It’s all Billie Dean. Venable adored everything. She looked down at her hands and noticed dry blood on the thumb she had been picking on. She bit her lower lip. I should wash it. But Eleanor had said she was cleaning the bathroom, and she didn’t even know where it was. Plus, she didn’t feel comfortable just walking around Billie Dean’s house. I wouldn’t mind if she did so in mine. Somehow it felt different. Footsteps took her away from her thoughts, and so Wilhemina looked up from her hands to watch as Billie approached her with a folder in hand, head down. She gulped.

Here we go. Billie took a deep breath as she sat down next to Venable. Without saying anything, she just handed her the folder. Wilhemina stared at her in confusion. Billie Dean licked her dry lips. “It’s all there,” she said quietly.

It was hesitant, but Venable slowly began to read the papers. Honey eyes watched her closely, already wanting to grow teary again. Fiery eyebrows kept on drawing closer together. I should have brought my glasses. Taking a deep breath as she read the first document, her eyes grew in size as she realized what she was reading. “She’s blackmailing you?!” Wilhemina turned to look at Billie Dean, whom only nodded with her head down. Venable’s frown grew. “Why are you ashamed of it? She’s the one who should be ashamed.”

“Keep—keep on going…”

Instantly, Wilhemina did so. As she turned to the next page, a few screenshots were printed there, along with chunks of texts explaining the context of them. Venable kept on reading further, and suddenly, when she moved to another page, explicit pictures of Billie—clearly taken without her consent—were printed right there, in color and all. Wilhemina’s eyes grew even more and she quickly closed the file. As she moved to look at Billie Dean, she found her still looking down at the floor, lip trembling as she held back the tears. Venable shook her head. “Billie… Billie, look at me.” She saw the way Billie Dean squeezed her eyes shut, tears cascading down. Venable bit her lip harshly. Just grab her hand already. Hesitantly and ignoring the voices in her head that screamed Billie would get mad at her somehow, Venable reached for one of her hands. Billie Dean opened her eyes and slowly looked at Wilhemina. She offered her a sad smile. “Angel… this is not y-your fault.” Too many things spiraled through her mind, but Wilhemina was determined to keep her focus on Billie. What if she’s lying? There was no way Billie Dean would lie about that, with proof and everything. And Venable knew it. Still, her mind tried taking what was good from her, as it always did. Not this time. Not Billie Dean. Trusting was so fucking hard… but Billie deserved it. She had deserved every single leap of faith she had taken for her.

Seeing Wilhemina through the tears was hard, and so Billie Dean clenched her hand for dear life. Her ears buzzed with adrenaline and shame, body shaking slightly. “Those p-pictures… I’ve… she is threatening t-to sell t-them—“ a sob cut through. Billie shook her head and covered her eyes with her palm, sniffling deeply.

Venable shook her head as her blood started to boil. Who the fuck does she think she is? She clenched her jaw harshly. Wilhemina saw red. She wanted to let Billie Dean know just what she thought about that woman, and she almost started to speak before she forced herself to stop: Saturday morning slipped in her mind, how she had exploded when she heard about the threats from Emma, and how that had made Billie uncomfortable, scared. And that was the last thing she wanted right now. So Venable took a deep breath and found a way to shove her rage aside somewhere—anywhere. And then her mind got quiet. And her body stopped trembling. And she found herself… sad. Sad for seeing what the world did to Billie Dean despite it being cruel to herself, too. And her eyes grew misty, so misty they slowly overflowed. But she didn’t care; not now, not with a person she cared so much. What were emotions if not rage? For the first time in a long time, Wilhemina simply felt. “Billie…” She moved closer, because she trusted Billie Dean would never scream at her for showing affection. “Billie Dean… come h-here.” She let her hand go to wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer until Billie laid her head on her chest. And then she cradled her tightly, lovingly, fingers tangling in blonde hair and caressing it. Billie Dean kept on sobbing loudly while she clenched everything Wilhemina she could reach. Venable felt her cheeks getting wetter and wetter, but she simply let it be. Her nose buried into Billie’s hair, taking a deep breath. “It’s okay,” she whispered. The sound of Billie Dean’s sobs was one she didn’t think she had ever heard before, and it caused Venable to wonder just how long had she been holding them back, how long had she been postponing all these emotions she was meant to let go so long ago. Billie had always told Wilhemina she needed a break, and perhaps the break was not only physical. The urge to protect something wasn’t usual for Venable—it had happened only twice her whole life, first with Olivia, and then with Purpura—but it was undeniable how it had been growing with Billie Dean; perhaps now it had reached its peak.

As much as Billie tried, she just couldn’t take a proper breath, she just couldn’t stop the sobs from cutting through—so she accepted it. She accepted the fear, the shame, the anger at herself and whatever else and simply cried. She cried and cried as she held onto Wilhemina, trying to trade all her pain for lavender so only the purple crowded her senses and emotions. Her eyes hurt, her nose had grown red, and her body had finally stopped shaking after what seemed to be hours. When she finally gathered enough strength to look up at Venable again, she found her cheeks wet as well, eyes caring concern, comfort, worry and care. She sniffled the best she could and pulled away to properly look at her. “I f-feel like a whore,” she murmured lowly. Wilhemina blinked twice, clearly surprised by the words. “I feel s-so stupid with t-these pictures… how could I not see w-what she was doing?” Hadn’t she cried all she had inside, more tears would for sure come one more time. Billie Dean took a deep, shaky breath. She reached for one of Venable’s hands again, caressing it between her own. “I-I’m so ashamed of it all… I’m so scared y-you’ll think I-I do that with everyone.”

Instantly, Wilhemina shook her head. “Don’t say that, Billie…” Only now she reached to wipe her cheeks clean. “She took advantage of you, none of that is your fault.”

“B-but I did sleep with her because I wanted to.”

Ouch. The thought bothered Venable. She focused on logic. “And there’s nothing wrong with that. But she chose to take advantage, she chose to take those pictures without your consent, and that was entirely on her.” Wilhemina did her best to keep her voice caring, soft.

Billie Dean sighed. “We never e-even went out on a date… it was p-purely sex… meaningless… stupid.” She shook her head and looked away, back at the floor. Venable gulped uncomfortably; it was definitely not pleasant to think about Billie kissing someone else, let alone having sex with them. It was a tough realization for Wilhemina, to understand that she was, in fact, jealous. Not that it mattered right now, not that it mattered at all. So many forgotten emotions rolled through her body, making it hard to think clearly. “I think w-we saw each other maybe f-four or five times… in s-six months. I d-didn’t feel good about it anymore… about feeling u-used the next day, every t-time.” Slowly, honey eyes moved back to brown ones. Venable squeezed her hand gently, encouraging her to keep going. “I t-told her I’d love t-to remain friends, b-but I didn’t want the sex anymore. She g-got really mad at me, told me I had been leaning her on, that I s-should have been honest from day one. I w-was… I t-told her after it h-happened the first time, after a p-party for wrapping up the last season of the show, we w-were both drunk… I barely remember it.” Billie shook her head. “I t-told her it h-had been a mistake, she offered for u-us to be casual… I figured i-it wouldn’t be a problem, s-she saw other people, she seemed nice e-enough even though I k-knew there was nothing romantic there for m-me…” A low, bitter chuckle left Billie Dean’s lips. She sighed. “Her w-work had never been the b-best, but she d-did the job and that w-was sufficient… or so I thought. I e-ended up finding numerous mistakes some time later, two o-or three months after w-we stopped seeing each other. I tried t-talking to her, a-asked her to be more careful… she i-insisted I was punishing her for s-some reason… so I h-had to fire her. She told everyone i-it had to do with our relationship—we d-didn’t even have a relationship, n-not in the way she implied, and she was aware of that. Gosh, she tried sleeping w-with Jenny for fuck’s sake!” Wilhemina watched Billie quietly, giving her the time she needed to let it all out. “A day a-after many accusatory t-texts, she sent me t-the first picture. A week later, I h-had all of them along w-with threats of selling them t-to the media if I d-didn’t agree t-to pay her a fee for f-firing her—which had already b-been paid, but she demanded for more. I g-gave in at first… she kept on asking for more… finally, I c-contacted my lawyer. We are… we’re building a c-case…” Billie Dean looked down again. It was all laid out now, clear as day for Venable to see and understand and judge as she pleased. Billie had nothing else to lose. I should have never slept with her, Billie’s mind shouted, I should have contacted my lawyer before, I should have stopped after the first time, I should have, I should have, I should have, I should have…

Digesting everything would take some time, but Wilhemina certainly would. She kept on caressing Billie Dean’s hand, heart beating fast, eyes glossy. What could she even say to that? Billie stared at her as if she were waiting for Venable to decide her faith on death penalty or not, eyes big, lip trapped between her teeth. Wilhemina blinked once, causing matching tears to slip down. Billie frowned in fear. “I d-don’t know what t-to tell you,” she began, slow and gentle and caring and just so unsure of how to word all these foreign emotions. “But I’m here for you. I’m h-here with you. This is not your fault, Billie Dean… none of it is your fault. You did nothing w-wrong, and it breaks m-my heart to see how much that woman i-is causing you to suffer.” Another tear slipped down. “You don’t deserve it,” she nearly breathed out, cheeks getting drenched again. She fought not to allow her eyes to overflow too much, but it was useless.

I’ve never seen her cry before. It shouldn’t, but it caused Billie to worry even more. In her nervous state, comprehending the size of the intimacy she had just reached was nearly impossible. “Don’t c-cry…” With her free hand, Billie Dean carefully wiped a tear away from Venable’s cheeks.

“Why were you so a-shamed of telling me that?” Wilhemina leaned her cheek on Billie’s palm, eyes and hand never leaving hers.

Billie Dean gulped. Her thumb caressed Venable’s cheekbone, stomach twisting and turning in nervous patterns still. “Because I j-judge myself… so I was s-scared you’d judge me, too… and I would l-lose you…”

“I would never judge y-you for that, angel…” The worry dimple was back between Wilhemina’s eyebrows. She turned her head to place a kiss on Billie Dean’s hand.

“I-it’s not just that… I just… you are so—so classy and so intelligent and absolutely captivating and I…” Billie sighed. “I’ve slept w-with women I barely k-knew because I decided a relationship was n-not for me. I went to bars, I had o-one-night stands, I had given up on love because h-how could anyone decide my ways were worth it? And n-now that you’re here I just… I feel so ashamed.”

Oh. The voices inside Venable’s head wanted to start talking again, whispering all kinds of degrading things towards herself. Wilhemina fought hard, refusing to allow them to win; they wouldn’t this time, for now she was not alone anymore, for now she had Billie Dean. She’ll stop liking you as soon as she realizes you have no experience in anything. She probably saw hundreds of bodies that are better than yours. Did Billie even do something worth the crucifying her mind always did? Wasn’t she a single, grown woman who felt comfortable enough to explore a thing society deemed as so absolutely wrong? And for what reason? Why was it wrong? It was definitely not Billie’s fault that she didn’t have experiences as such, that she felt so uncomfortable in her own skin. “You don’t have to be ashamed for h-having a life, Billie.” She sat up straight. Honey eyes looked away as Billie Dean brought her hand back towards herself, nervously playing with her fingers that previously caressed Wilhemina’s cheek. “So what you had one-night stands? So what y-you’ve slept with women you met at bars? That doesn’t make you less of a person, Billie. It doesn’t make you unworthy of love. You could have slept with a different woman a day for all I care, and that wouldn’t make a difference to how I feel towards you.” She hadn’t slept with anyone in years, and she still felt unworthy of love, too… why did it even matter, after all?

“It was—it wasn’t even one per week, probably one-night stand a month,” Billie Dean murmured.

“It’s just an example,” Venable said softly. Billie nodded. Wilhemina smiled sadly. I love her. She nibbled on her lip as she thought, pondering her words. “O-of course I don’t enjoy thinking a-about you sleeping with other people… but it’s because—it’s because I…” I want you to myself. I want to be good enough for you. “I imagine you don’t enjoy thinking about me and Emma, either.” Logic. Logic was good.

Billie Dean instantly shook her head as she grimaced slightly. The corners of Wilhemina’s lips turned up, and for a second all the weight on Billie’s shoulders disappeared. The world could end and she would not give a damn as long as she had that woman with her. Leaning closer, Billie Dean kissed Venable right on the lips, lingering there as she felt a hand caressing her cheek. “I don’t ever want to kiss anyone else,” she whispered.

“Me either.” Wilhemina kissed her again, smiling to herself as she held Billie as close as she could, as tight as she could manage.

Breaking the kiss after a moment, Billie Dean stared at brown eyes. Her heart was still beating fast, and her eyes still threatened to grow teary. After a second, she spoke again. “So… do you still wanna be with me?” She murmured.

“What have I just said, silly?”

Billie Dean’s cheeks tinted pink. “I’m just making sure…”

“Affection memories are the best kind,” Billie’s words came as soft as melted butter. “How old were you?”

I’m not sure I have many of those. “Six.”

“I wish I could have seen young Wilhemina eating cheesecake for the first time.” The corners of Billie Dean’s sparkled lightly. Venable couldn’t help but let out a chuckle as she took another bite.

“Do you have any pictures from when you were young?”

Even though the question seemed a little odd, Billie had learned not to judge. It was safe to say their experiences in life had been very different, even though they shared their fair amount of similarities. She nodded as she took a bite. “I do. Why?”

Wilhemina shrugged. “I’d like to see them… sometime. If that’s alright with you.”

“Of course.” Weird. But it made sense… Billie did want to see younger Venable, too.

Wilhemina nodded slowly as she looked down at her plate. I think I might have a few pictures from school… Granted, she had always hated taking pictures. Brown eyes moved back up to Billie Dean, and a small smile graced Venable’s features as she realized the small amount of cream cheese on Billie’s face. “Your chin,” she said softly.

“Hm?”

“You have cream cheese on your chin.”

“Oh.” Billie let her fork go and reached for a napkin. She chuckled as she wiped her face clean. “Thank you.” Embarrassing.

“Of course.” I can’t believe the nerve of her to look good even with cream cheese on her face.

Carefully taking one last bite, Billie Dean set her plate aside. She licked her lips and made sure no bits were left on her cheeks. Venable still savored the dessert, and so honey eyes watched her. In no time, they were back at the living room with the dishwasher all loaded and running. Purpura sleepily watched them from her spot at the center table.

“That was good,” Billie sat back down at the couch, right beside Wilhemina, whom nodded.

“When did you first find out you had a talent for finding good food?” Venable teased as she leaned back against the couch. Billie Dean let out a small chuckle. Is it safe to feel that comfortable around her? That was a constant doubt in her mind.

“I think it’s a talent only for you.” She reached for one of Venable’s legs, hand resting on her knee and caressing it on top of the pants.

Wilhemina smiled to herself. Floratta Blue permeated her house in comforting tones of coral. “If you say so…”

“Mhm.” Leaning closer, Billie kissed Wilhemina’s cheek before resting back on the couch.

With the corners of her eyes sparkling lightly, Venable turned her head to stare at Billie Dean. The caresses on her leg no longer felt foreign. Such a short time… Things with Emma had taken so long so develop to whatever it had been. How was any of that even happening with Billie? “Will you help me set my iPad?”

“Of course.”

Afternoon dawned and night arrived pretty fast. Shades of orange invaded the living room as Billie Dean was just done helping Wilhemina set everything, and then Venable got up to turn the light on. The iPad now lay charging on the corner table, already with the purple case on and a few apps installed. Honey eyes watched as Wilhemina caressed Purpura on her way back to the couch, and as she was about to comment on her trousers, her phone began to ring from her purse. Brown eyes moved to hers. Billie Dean bit her lower lip and wished the name on the screen didn’t start with the letter ‘E’—thankfully, it didn’t. “It’s Jenny,” she told Venable before walking to the bathroom, receiving a nod back. Closing the door, Billie quickly picked it up. “Hello?”

“Stop ignoring my texts!” From the other side, Jenny yelled teasingly.

“I’m not!” Billie said with a chuckle. “I just haven’t been around my phone today.”

“Oh! Oh—oh! You’re at her house?!”

Laughing, Billie Dean moved to sit down on the closed toilet lid. “Yes, I am.” Her words were quiet, low.

“Did you spend the night? Oh, of course you did!”

Billie couldn’t help but find Jenny’s excitement funny. “I did, but nothing happened.”

“How come?”

“We’re going slow.”

“Did you make out at least?”

“Jenny!”

“Come on!”

Smiling to herself, Billie Dean nodded on the phone. “Yes…”

“So she does have feelings for you, huh?”

“… yes.”

“Where’s my ‘You told me, Jenny. You’re always right, Jenny. I should give you a raise, Jenny.’?”

“Shut up!” Billie chuckled yet again, hearing as the girl did the same on the other side of the phone. After a moment, she bit her lip. Their laughs died down. “Thank you…”

“You’re welcome,” Jenny’s voice came softly, now. “On a more serious note, is everything alright? Is she treating you well and not like she’s made out of ice?”

Billie Dean shook her head. “She’s the sweetest, Jenny…”

“If you say so.”

“Truly.”

“I believe you.”

Billie licked her lips as she thought. “Was Emma alright? Yesterday, when you dropped her home?”Silence. Billie Dean felt Jenny shifting on the other side of the line. Oh no.

“She was just drunk. Do you really want to talk about her now?”

“She said something about Terry, didn’t she?”

Jenny took a deep breath. Billie gulped. “She said a lot of things…”

“Jenny…”

“Yes. She did talk about Terry.”

“Fuck,” Billie breathed out. Closing her eyes, she reached to massage her temple. “What did she say?”

“I don’t remember exactly—or rather, I didn’t understand it very well— but it was something that had to do with telling Wilhemina about her.” Billie Dean groaned. “She was drunk and very much mad at you, I doubt she’ll do anything,” Jenny tried to amend. It didn’t help much.

“She thinks she knows what happened, and she’s assuming that’s what I am doing with Wilhemina.”

“Yeah…”

“That’s not it, Jenny. Terry wasn’t even fired because of that!” Her voice raised a little. Billie quickly took notice of it and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment.

From the other side, Jenny gulped. “I know, Billie… but you do know that a few people can’t help but make that connection, right?”

Billie Dean took a deep breath. “Yes…” And it fucking sucks. Just another thing people assumed about her life, as if she didn’t have enough of that already.

“Have you told her about it?”

“Wilhemina?”

“Yes.”

“No… not yet.” Honey eyes fell down. Billie sucked on her lower lip. “I think it’s too soon.”

“Billie, it’s either you telling her or her possibly finding it out through Emma… and I really don’t think you’d like the latter.”

“I know,” Billie Dean murmured. “What else did she tell you?”

“She just cried a lot… and called you a bunch of names.”

“Fair,” she murmured again.

“Not really, but we’ll not dwell on that right now.” Billie nodded to herself. “Are you spending the weekend there?”

“Yes.” Taking a deep breath, Billie Dean sat up a little better. “Why?”

“Just asking. The reports about the party should be out on Monday, and we need to approve the pictures for the special.”

“Right. You can ask them to e-mail me the material.” I desperately need a break from working. The end of the year was always hectic for Billie Dean.

“Already did. They’re waiting on an answer until Monday, noon.”

“Perfect. We can do it in the morning, then.”

“Mhm.”

“Do I need to do anything this weekend?” Billie had found Jenny’s question a little odd, so it was always best to ask.

“Not really. I was just curious about you and her,” the girl chuckled.

“Oh.” Chuckling back, Billie got up from the lid. That’s good at least. “I’ll tell you more on Monday.”

“Good. I’ll be waiting excitedly as the reason for all of that to be happening I am.”

“Silly,” Billie Dean teased back. “Alright, I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Alright. Have a good weekend, wink wink.”

“You too, you annoying human.” With both of them laughing, Billie ended the call. She looked up to the mirror and fixed her clothes and hair, eyes glued on herself. She sighed. She’ll think I do that with everybody. Maybe that talk could wait until Monday… or at least until tomorrow. Billie Dean decided she wouldn’t think about it now. At least not for the night. She still had another whole day before the next week, after all.

Quietly stepping out of the bathroom, Billie Dean walked back to the living room; she didn’t find Venable there. “Wilhie?”

“In the bedroom,” Venable called back.

Quietly still, Billie Dean followed that way. As she got to the room, her eyes were graced with the lovely image of Wilhemina, sitting on the bed with Purpura and a tube of lotion by her side. Lavender notes invaded her nostrils. Billie smiled. “Are you moisturizing her?” She remembered Venable had said something about it, once.

Wilhemina nodded. She reached for more of the lotion and gently caressed the cat’s back, which purred lowly. “Winter makes her skin drier.”

“She’s so well behaved.” Carefully, Billie sat down beside Wilhemina. She watched as her hands worked on Purpura, so gentle and caring. And with such long and dainty fingers… not now. Billie Dean licked her lips and looked back up at Venable, watching the way she was so absolutely focused on the cat, with lips curling up and eyes so soft above the sky of freckles there. To be loved by her must be holy. She could only wish to experience that one day. “Can I help?”

Taken positively aback, deep brown eyes met honey ones. “To moisturize her?” Billie nodded. Venable opened a smile. “Of course.” She reached for the lotion and pushed it closer to Billie Dean. “Here. Her chest is missing still.

“Okay.” As gentle as she could, Billie Dean scooped a small amount of lotion on her fingers and began to caress the cat’s chest, right underneath her neck. Purpura purred a little louder, shifting on the mattress to accommodate the hand. Billie smiled, and as she looked up at Wilhemina, their eyes and smile met again. Air seemed scarce all of a sudden. I want to give her the world.

I love her. When had anyone ever treated Purpura like that? When had anyone wanted to be a part of her life like that? How scary? How good? How foreign? “She likes it,” Wilhemina said, voice as soft as melted butter. “She likes you.”

With a tiny chuckle, Billie Dean used all of her strength to take her eyes off of Venable and look back at the cat. “I like her, too.” With her free hand and mindful of her nails, she reached to pet the cat’s head. Purpura leaned against it, eyes closed. Another chuckle left Billie’s lips.

With her teeth trapping her lips in order not to allow them to smile too big, Wilhemina kept on watching them. She pulled her hands away and wiped them on a towel she had taken, cleaning them of the lotion. After a minute or two, she spoke again. “Thank you for being so nice to her…”

“Of course,” Billie Dean’s eyebrows drew closer in confusion. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Venable shrugged. My mind clearly works wrong. “It’s just that… a few people can be mean because of—of how she looks.” Just like they are to me. She nervously licked her lips. “You know… the skin.”

Billie’s frown grew for a second until she understood just how deep the topic actually was. Her eyes reflected nothing but kindness now. “There’s nothing wrong with how she looks, Wilhie… and even if there were, quote on quote, something wrong about her, that wouldn’t be an excuse for people to treat her in any way but kind.” Gulping again, Wilhemina nodded. She took a discrete deep breath and clutched the small purple towel on her lap. Billie Dean took notice of it. She’s nervous. With her own heart picking up slightly in speed, Billie looked down at the cat for a second before looking back up at Venable. Her lips curled up on the corners. “Besides, I think she looks really cute.”

This time, it was Wilhemina who looked away from Billie Dean. Her cheeks tinted softly. The underlying tone of their conversation was very much explicit. “R-really?”

“Oh, yeah.” She knows I’m talking about her. There was no need to point that out. Billie had been learning compliments and words of affirmation were better left in the murky, at least for now. “More than cute, I think she’s beautiful.” Clutching the towel in her hands a little harsher, Venable nodded quietly. She slowly looked back up, and when her eyes met honey ones again, she found a look in them that left her warm all over, sweet all over, comforted all over. Billie Dean’s smile grew lovingly, pouring affection all over. Carefully not to disturb Purpura, Billie scooted closer to Wilhemina, hand reaching to cup one of her cheeks—slowly, so she could ask her to stop if she wanted. She didn’t. Billie Dean’s thumb caressed the plump crimson skin with so much tenderness it nearly hurt. Venable sighed lowly. “You’re beautiful, Wilhemina,” she whispered, voice as soft as a cozy blanket and as sweet as honey. She could feel Venable’s breath against her lips, faster than usual and oh so inviting. So she kissed her, slow and gentle and affectionate.

With blood rushing up to her head, Wilhemina felt her hands trembling against the cloth. She did the best she could and let go of it, reaching to caress Billie’s arm as she kissed her back. Their lips danced slowly and passionately, and for a split second Venable felt herself losing touch with the parts that could be so damn horrible to her. Her lips picked up in intensity, and she subconsciously scooted closer to Billie Dean, too. Purpura meowed from between them, therefore causing the kiss the break. Wilhemina took a deep breath as she stared at Billie’s eyes, lips rosy and tingling deliciously. Billie Dean watched her closely, thumb still tracing Venable’s cheek. I’m terrified things will change. Reality set back in. Wilhemina gulped. “I’m n-not used to that…”

“Compliments?” Venable nodded. I know. Billie smiled sadly. “Any chance I can help you get used to them?”

With her cheeks still red and hot, Wilhemina bit her lower lip. Hesitantly, she nodded. “It might take a while…” It might never happen at all.

With the softest smile she could manage, Billie Dean reached to tuck a lock of red hair behind Venable’s ear. “That’s okay,” she whispered. Billie felt as dark brown eyes fell down to her lips, so she leaned closer and kissed Wilhemina again, which got herself a sweet sigh. Billie Dean pulled away just enough to stare at Venable. “I’m not in a rush.” She had said that already, about many things, but she would never grow tired of easing Wilhemina’s mind.

And yet again, there she was… bare, raw in front of Billie. Vulnerable, and yet she didn’t feel so scared. That’s scary. Would that become something usual for her?

Sunday morning arrived as sweetly as the past night had been; Wilhemina found herself falling asleep tangled in Billie Dean’s arms again, this time receiving kisses on the forehead until she, eventually, allowed sleep to win. When the first ray of sunlight slipped through the curtains, their limbs were still tangled and their skin was still warm from their embrace. It was Venable who opened her eyes first, eyebrows close as she frowned from the light. When her vision wasn’t so blurry anymore, Wilhemina focused on whatever was in front of her—it happened to be Billie, still fast asleep and with her lips inches away from her own. She took a deep breath. I kissed her. Venable licked her own chapped lips, body falling slowly into reality as it got aware of its position: legs tangled with Billie Dean’s, an arm that wasn’t its own wrapped around her waist, feet touching, blonde hair tickling her face. How lovely was it, to not wake up alone? To not always be by herself? Wilhemina took another deep breath, brown oceans examining the face in front of hers. Is she even real? Venable still had her doubts. Billie frowned as a strand of her own hair tickled her face, nose scrunching up. Wilhemina smiled to herself and reached to pull the strand of hair away and behind Billie Dean’s ear. As she pulled her hand away, she couldn’t help but brush her knuckles against Billie’s face, caressing her peachy skin. I shouldn’t be so attached already. How could she not? When that woman treated her and made her feel a way she had never experienced before? Venable watched as Billie Dean began to slowly open her eyes. She smiled sleepily to herself.

Letting out a small sigh, Billie hummed as her vision came into consciousness, body snuggling closer to whatever was providing it warmth. Lavender soon clouded her senses, and so Billie Dean finally fixated on the face in front of her. Her lips mirrored Wilhemina’s sleepy smile. Was she watching me? “Hi,” Billie croaked out, as sweet as she could manage in her state.

“Hello.” Venable’s smile grew as her cheeks began to tint for some reason. Down her legs, she felt as Billie Dean’s foot caressed her own. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

Billie shook her head before hiding her face against the pillow to cover a yawn. Her hand reached for Wilhemina’s waist and pulled her closer. “You didn’t.” She looked back at dark brown eyes. “I wouldn’t have minded if you had, though.”

Venable nodded at the words as spidery fingers slowly moved up to cup Billie Dean’s cheek. Wilhemina just stared at her for a minute before taking a deep breath. “I like waking up next to you,” she whispered. I didn’t know not being alone could ever feel this way.

Coral fingernails scratched softly against the cloth of Venable’s purple pajamas, caressing her waist and the small of her back. Billie Dean leaned closer and kissed her gently on the lips. I hope my breath is tolerable. “I like waking up next to you, too,” she whispered back. Wilhemina stared at her like she was made of all the stars in the universe, eyes shining and all. Billie couldn’t help but pull her even closer, and this time Venable’s hand fell down to her waist and pulled her closer, too. Their bodies left no space between each other, breaths mingling. “I sleep pretty well when I’m with you… you’re warm and you don’t snore,” she teased.

Chuckling lowly, Wilhemina bit her lip to stop her smile from growing too much. “Why, thank you. I could say the same, but your feet are freezing,” she teased back, because being playful didn’t come with a sentence of being punished when it came to Billie Dean.

With a laugh, Billie made sure her feet were well tangled with Venable’s. “I don’t know why they’re so cold.”

Wilhemina hummed. She reached for the hand that caressed her waist and tangled her fingers with Billie Dean’s. “So is your hand.” She caressed the cold digits between her own, trying to warm them up. “Are you cold?”

“Not really.” Billie licked her lips, and part of her heart still melted every time she was reminded of how just how caring Venable was with her. “Are you?”

“No,” Wilhemina shook her head. She let go of Billie Dean’s hand and now caressed her arm, even though Billie had said she wasn’t cold. Billie Dean didn’t mind, not at all. She kept a smile printed on her lips. “Are you hungry?” I should have bought some pastries.

“A little.”

“I can cook us an omelette, or maybe I can go out and get a few pastries, if you’d like. There’s this—“

“Wilhie,” Billie Dean cut Venable gently just as she was about to start lifting the covers to get out of bed. Wilhemina looked at her. “Can we cuddle a little?”

With her cheeks turning purple, Venable nodded. She blinked twice before slowly snuggling closer to Billie again. “Sorry,” she whispered.

Billie Dean shook her head. Hadn’t it been Wilhemina, she could have thought that maybe there was something wrong with her, but being Venable, she knew she was simply eager to please. “You don’t have to apologize,” she whispered back. Her hand found its place on Wilhemina’s waist again, caressing it. She’s always so anxious.

With a nod, brown eyes fell down. Venable took a deep breath. I’m so idiotic. The deprecating voice was already up and running. She gulped and looked back at honey oceans, legs tangling back with Billie’s. After a moment, she spoke again. “I like cuddling with you,” she said, because part of her felt like Billie Dean could maybe be thinking otherwise, and she didn’t want to ever cause Billie Dean to think like that.

She’s worried. Opening a smile, Billie reached to pull a strand of read hair away from Venable’s eyes. “I know, darling. I didn’t think otherwise.”

Darling. Wilhemina didn’t know if her stomach would ever stop turning with the pet name. This is the second time she’s called me that. How delicious did it feel? “Good,” she murmured somewhat shyly.

Billie Dean hummed back, hand caressing her waist slowly, feeling as it rose and fell with Venable’s breathing. She stared at those chocolate eyes in front of her, watching the way they moved away and back to her own. She’s shy. Her lips curled up softly. “Did you dream of anything?”

Wilhemina shook her head, eyes struggling to stay at brown ones. “Not that I remember. Did you?”

Billie Dean had actually had a dream; she saw a woman, hair red just like Venable’s, face full of suffering and with lines well marked. She cried, but couldn’t speak. Wilhemina didn’t need to know that. “Not really.” Venable hummed. Billie licked her lips, eyes tracing the soft freckles on Wilhemina’s cheeks. “I love your freckles,” she said after a second.

To be stared at like that had never felt good… not until Billie Dean. Venable’s skin grew red still, but not from being uncomfortable. “I’m not a huge fan of them…”

What’s new? Wilhemina didn’t seem to be a huge fan of anything that made her who she was. Billie didn’t need to point that out, but she did keep that in mind. “You always cover them, don’t you?” Venable nodded. Billie Dean opened a sad smile. “I love them,” she repeated.

Wilhemina gulped. She nodded again, eyes falling down before going back up. She licked her sudden dry lips. “Thank you.”

Billie couldn’t help but smile a little more. It was clear Venable wasn’t used to being complimented, or having any kind of intimacy with people, but there was something so sweet about it… so strangely pure, in a way. Most people wouldn’t see it that way, but Billie Dean had never been most people. So she leaned closer and placed a small kiss on Wilhemina’s nose, and then another one on her left cheek, and another one on her right one, right on top of the freckles. Wilhemina blinked twice, and with a chuckle Billie Dean kissed her full on the lips, reaching to cup her face.

Sunday went by with nothing but sweet kisses being shared and a movie or two being watched. When the night began to fall down again, Billie Dean hesitantly went back home, but with the promise of seeing each other on Monday morning. Billie knew she should have talked about Terry; knew she should have brought it up before anyone else had the chance, but how could she when Venable looked at her so lovingly and gave her more trust than she had ever given anyone in a long time? Billie Dean simply didn’t have the guts to do it. And she prayed no one would before she could master the courage to do so.

Being taken away from her thoughts, Billie Dean looked at Wilhemina. Now that their emotions had calmed down from everything that had happened, Billie found herself… scared. What if she does think I’m a whore? It was stupid to consider that… and yet, she did. We just had a special moment, why am I even thinking about it? Billie Dean was not one to get scared, but after the rush of emotions she had her mind only now seemed to be assimilating everything. “I’m okay. It’s just work.”

Venable wasn’t sure she believed Billie’s words. Did I do something wrong? The question popped in her mind and she nearly bit her lip to stop it from slipping out. Did she find my breasts unattractive? The possibility hadn’t crossed her mind… until now. She did call me a Goddess… The elevator was starting to lose its speed as it approached the seventh floor. Hesitantly, Wilhemina nodded. Before the door could open, she leaned to place a kiss on Billie Dean’s cheek. “Text me when you’re ready for lunch?”

With a nod and a smile, Billie turned to peck Venable on the lips. They let each other go before following inside. At the main office, people still worked quietly. As Wilhemina got settled back into her table, her eyes discreetly tracked Billie Dean until she was out of sight into the hallway. With a sigh, she leaned back on her chair. Certain green eyes watched her, but Venable ignored it.

Entering her office, Billie was met with Jenny quietly typing something on her phone as she sat around the huge table there. “Hi,” she said softly, closing her door as she got inside.

“Hey.” Letting her phone aside, Jenny smiled up at Billie Dean. “Where were you? I couldn’t find you anywhere. I texted and called, but you didn’t answer.”

“I had to go home, I’m sorry.” Billie sat down on her chair and set her purse aside, reaching for her phone inside it. Indeed, there were two missed calls and a few texts from Jenny.

“Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“I’m fine.” Honey eyes moved back to Jenny. The girl frowned playfully.

“Billie Dean… you had to go home just when Ms. Venable came to see you? And she was not on her desk, either…” Jenny opened a smirk.

Billie felt her cheeks tinting as she realized what was implied there. She chuckled and shook her head. “It was not that.”

“Mhm.”

“Truly. We just—we had to have a talk.” Billie Dean looked away. Jenny kept on staring at her with a puzzled look. She sighed. “About Terry…”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Billie bit her lip. “I told her everything… after you left, she was really weird and I ended up finding out Emma had said a few things to her…”

“About you and Terry?”

Billie Dean nodded. “She was… she was scared, and there was no postponing that talk anymore.”

“Did you tell her the whole thing?”

“Yes. Everything. I showed her all the documents and pictures.”

Jenny’s eyes grew in size. “The pictures too?”

“I wanted to be completely clear with her. She deserves it.”

“Are you—are you two okay?”

With her lips tugging up, Billie nodded. “We are. I’m just having a few bad thoughts but they’ll go away soon.”

“What thoughts?”

Nibbling on her inner cheek, Billie Dean looked away. She took a deep breath as she pondered her answer. What thoughts? Too many. And they didn’t even make sense. “Insecurities, I suppose.”

“About what?” Jenny set her phone down.

Shifting on the chair, Billie sighed. “I’ve told her I was scared she’d think I’m a whore…”

“That again, Billie?”

“Yeah… but it’s not just that.” Billie Dean shook her head. “It’s stupid, it’s nothing.”

“Are you sure?” Jenny raised her eyebrows. Billie nodded. “Alright… if you ever want to talk, you know I’m here for you.”

“I know. Thank you.” Billie Dean reached to squeeze her hand softly. Jenny offered her a smile and squeezed it back.

Behind her glasses, Wilhemina’s eyes were heavy. I’m tired. Venable had to admit last night hadn’t been the best sleep she had ever had, given she was a little nervous for what the week had in store. She took a deep breath and looked down to the clock on the monitor. 11:30 A.M. Still half an hour to go. Wilhemina decided she’d have to drink some coffee. Floratta Blue was still vivid in her nostrils, clouding her clothes and skin. She bit her lower lip as she walked to the kitchen, phone in hand just in case Billie decided she wanted to have lunch a little earlier. Her mind kept on sending her little reminders from all the places Billie Dean’s lips had been over, causing her cheeks to tingle and her chest to grow warm. Once she had poured herself some coffee, Venable walked to the secluded balcony there, leaning against the wall and taking a deep breath. The cold breeze hit her skin in the most pleasant of ways, contrasting with the warmth there. She closed her eyes, mug on both hands as her cane rested beside her on the wall. Birds sang outside, adding a touch of organicity to the city noises. I wish I had kissed her more. Wilhemina licked her lips, mind entering the thoughts. Her lips might be the best thing I’ve ever felt… Without opening her eyes, Venable brought the mug of coffee up to her lips and took a sip. Billie Dean had grown seemingly nervous at the elevator, and something about it still didn’t sit right with Wilhemina. She nibbled on her inner cheek. Maybe it’s just my head… No, she knew a bit about Billie and it was definitely not something from her head. She frowned, eyes opening as she took another sip of coffee. Setting the mug on the rail, Venable reached for her phone. Biting her lower lip, she clicked on Billie Dean’s contact and stared at it. What even should I send her? It felt so damn stupid to send a text like that. Don’t be scared of showing affection. Billie had said she’d never judge her on that. With another deep breath, Wilhemina finally began to type. ’Hi, just checking if you’re alright. If you need anything, let me know.’ That was the best Venable would manage. It sounds so… cold. Wilhemina didn’t mind sounding cold, but with Billie Dean… She typed again. ’Hi angel, just checking if you’re alright. If you need anything, let me know.’ Without thinking twice, she hit send. “Ugh,” Venable groaned out loud. Shoving her phone back into the pocket of her skirt, she reached for her mug and took another sip. The sky was cloudy today, which meant it would probably rain soon. I love how it smells when it’s rainy. A rainy day never failed to bring peace into Wilhemina’s mind. Taking another sip, Wilhemina hummed at the rich flavor. That coffee was simply the best thing she had ever had in the office. That’s Billie Dean’s lips. Letting out a chuckle, Venable shook her head at herself. Jesus, I’m back at being what? Sixteen? Wilhemina could only assume that’s what being a normal sixteen year-old was like. Leaning her head back against the wall, Venable could feel her phone vibrating in her pocket. Her stomach took a turn. She set the mug back onto the rail and reached for it; Billie Dean’s name lit up on the screen. ’Thank you, darling. I actually do need something, can you come to my office?’ Instantly, Venable reached for her mug and cane and made her way back inside. She quickly washed the mug and left it out to dry before making her way down the hall. Softly, she knocked three times on the door and waited. It didn’t take much for Billie Dean to open it with a smile. Thank Goodness she’s not crying. “Hi, did something happen?”

At the worried look on Wilhemina’s eyes, Billie felt herself melting even more than she already had with the word ‘angel’ on the text. She shook her head and reached for Venable’s free hand, pulling her inside. “Nothing happened, I just wanted to see you.” She closed and locked the door.

Wilhemina gulped. Her ears buzzed lovingly as the corners of her lips inevitably pulled themselves up. “Oh.” Warmth grew inside her chest and cheeks. Honey eyes watched her so sweetly, moving closer and closer. Venable let her cane go, because fuck the cane right now, and her hand reached for Billie Dean’s waist, pulling her closer as her back hit the wall. The sound of the cane falling on the floor was barely heard as their lips met, moving gently and passionately against one another. Their fingers tangled, and Billie made sure to hold Wilhemina tightly on the waist, supporting her up.

Fuck, I love her. Billie Dean gently pulled away, eyes on brown ones. She’s blushing. She bit her lower lip with a smile. “I know you take your work very seriously, I don’t mean to bother you.”

Venable shook her head and leaned to kiss her again. “I take you more seriously,” she whispered.

Billie chuckled and pecked her once more before pulling away to look at brown eyes again. She caressed the fingers against her own. “I thought we could have lunch now?”

Wilhemina nodded. “Sure.” Her ears were still buzzing pleasantly. Definitely the best thing I’ve ever had in the office. She cleared her throat. “Did you—did you actually need something or…?”

“I needed you.”

Venable was sure her legs would give up at any given moment. Taking a shaky breath, she tried holding back the enormous smile that fought to grace her features; it was no use, it appeared anyways. “Silly…” Wilhemina murmured shyly. With a tiny giggle, Billie Dean pecked Venable before pulling away. She reached for her cane down on the floor and handed it to Wilhemina, completely letting her go once she made sure Venable wouldn’t fall. How come Billie never once hesitated when it came to her cane? How come it was so natural to her? So mundane? So normal? I am normal to her. Wilhemina’s chest kept on getting warmer and warmer. “I lo—“ She bit her lip to stop herself. Billie Dean turned back as she grabbed her purse on the chair.

“Huh?”

I love you. Venable shook her head. “I—I love the food you always choose to the office. Maybe we could—maybe we could have lunch here?”

“I was thinking the same.” What was it she was going to say? Billie wouldn’t pry, for if she wanted to say it, she would eventually. “Today is spaghetti, and I’m a sucker for pasta.”

Thank God she didn’t notice it. Wilhemina nodded. The rush of adrenaline that had passed through her body caused her heart to speed up, so she focused on discreetly taking deep breaths. “Perfect. I’ll go turn the computer off.”

“Okay.” Billie walked to Venable and kissed her cheek before reaching to unlock the door. She opened it and stepped aside. “I’ll be in the kitchen.”

“Okay.” With a smile, Wilhemina followed to the main office. People were already getting ready to leave for lunch, which meant they’d probably have the whole floor to themselves. As she sat down to turn the computer off, Emma walked to her table. Venable frowned and looked up at her. “Can I help you?”

“Are you really not giving me a chance to talk to you?” Emma’s words were quiet. Wilhemina kept on staring at her, eyebrows drawing closer together. “Let me take you for lunch… just once. We can talk it all out.” Her hand slowly moved closer to Venable’s, which rested on the mouse.

“Leave me alone.” Instantly, Wilhemina pulled away. Emma sighed.

“It’s not fucking fair you won’t even listen to me.”

Venable was at her limit. “It’s not fucking fair you won’t leave me alone when I ask you to. Can’t you understand I was already settled on ending things with you before anything with Billie even happened?” Brown eyes stared furiously at emerald ones, piercing through them. Emma took a deep breath, teeth grinding in anger. “I know you’ve been threatening her, how do you think that makes me feel?”

“She’s lying,” Emma quickly said. The office was now empty, saving from the both of them.

“Don’t you dare,” Wilhemina hissed through her teeth. “Don’t you dare accuse her like that. I’ve seen the texts you’ve sent her. And even if nothing had happened with her, do you think I’d want to have something with someone so fucking low? Someone who says she’s no child when I ask for consent?”

Emma’s eyes opened to the size of the moon. “What are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“All I know is that you came to my house a week ago and buried your fingers deep inside me!”

Wilhemina held back a hiss. “Keep your tone down while you speak to me.”

“Oh please,” Emma rolled her eyes.

“It was a mistake. Can’t you see that?”

“How was it a mistake?! Everything was alright until she decided she wanted you to herself! You’re just being a puppet in her game!”

“Keep. Your. Tone. Down.” Reaching for her cane, Venable got up. “Stop talking about her like that,” her voice was back at slipping through her grinding teeth. “Stop it. You have no idea who Billie Dean is. You have no idea what she’s like.”

At the hallway, Billie Dean frowned as she approached the doorframe. She had decided to go check on Wilhemina once the office got quiet, only to hear the faint hostile tone. When honey eyes saw Emma, her insides twisted. She froze in place.

“Oh, I know what she’s like, I’ve known her way longer than you have. I’ve seen her playing that same game on Terry. She t—“

“You don’t know shit!” This time, Venable’s voice increased in volume. Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the cane. Emma took a step back. “You don’t know fucking shit and I won’t allow you to talk about my—Billie Dean like that.”

Crossing her arms, Emma scoffed. “Are you two already labeling things?”

“It’s none of your business.” Shit.

“You’ve been seeing her for what? Three days?” Emma shook her head. “What a joke. She must have some really magic fingers to manipulate you like that.”

“You’re disgusting.” Wilhemina’s heart was beating so fast she could hear it inside her head. “Just leave me and Billie Dean alone.” Venable moved to walk to the hallway, only then realizing Billie had been standing there. Oh no.

“You’re the disgusting one! You cheated on me,” Emma continued, walking to block Wilhemina’s path. She frowned as she realized where brown eyes were at, and so she moved to look back. A cynical chuckle left her lips. “Great, just who I wanted to see.” At the doorframe, Billie Dean caught herself not really knowing what to do. She was about to say something when Venable began to speak again.

“How can I cheat on someone I didn’t know I had something with?” Emma turned back to look at her, features so absolutely hurt that Wilhemina almost felt bad. Almost.

“You two really deserve each other,” that was the last thing Emma murmured before storming out of the office.

Taking a slow, deep breath to calm her nerves down, Venable closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she looked down to the floor and gripped the cane harsher and harsher. As Floratta Blue began to invade her nostrils, Wilhemina was brought back to reality. She looked up at Billie. “Angel… are you alright?”

Angel. Billie Dean had decided to give her space, but when Venable looked back at her with nothing but concern and worry—for the second time that day—she opened a small smile and nodded. “Thank you for standing up for me.” She walked to Wilhemina and hugged her tightly, arms on her waist and far from her back. She’s shaking like a leaf.

Taken slightly by surprise, Venable blinked twice as she hugged Billie back, cane resting on her hip and secured on the skirt. She caressed her spine where her own would be curved, nose burying into blonde hair. All her anger slowly began to disappear. “I’ll always stand up for you,” she murmured softly.

Billie Dean nodded. She closed her eyes and allowed her body to relax against Wilhemina’s, trying to cope with all the adrenaline. After a minute, she turned her head and placed a tiny kiss on Venable’s neck. “Thank you,” she said once again and pulled away. “Are you okay?”

Wilhemina nodded. She reached for her cane. “Just mad… but that’s not new with her.”

“Fair,” Billie chuckled softly. “Me too.”

Venable offered a chuckle back. I wish I had never even exchanged a single word with that bitch. “Lunch?”

“Lunch,” Billie nodded yet again. They walked to the kitchen, and on the table at the center Billie Dean had already grabbed their food. “What do you say we have lunch at my office? I think it’s more secluded.”

Is she trying to hide me? What a stupid thought. Wilhemina held back the urge to laugh at just how absolutely delusional her mind could be at times. But also… it meant she was stressed, and that the conversation with Emma clearly touched something. “I was thinking the same.”

“Yeah? Perfect.” Although Billie’s heart was still somewhat faster than usual, she was trying to get herself together; she had things she wanted to discuss with Venable, after all. Is this even a good time, now? They gathered their food and walked down the hallway and to Billie Dean’s office. Once everything was settled and the door was closed and locked, Billie took a first bite. Her eyes closed as she hummed. “I do love pasta,” she murmured.

Wilhemina motioned her right after. She smiled as she looked at Billie Dean, whom sat at the other side of the wooden surface. “You always enjoy your food… it’s quite lovely.” That made no sense. Venable had already said it out loud, though.

“I really do,” Billie chuckled. She took another bite and reached to pour them both some juice. A smile touched her lips as she filled Wilhemina’s mug. “I love your mug,” she said softly.

Venable smiled back. “Thank you. Me too… even though coral and purple crash horribly,” she laughed.

“Agreed,” Billie laughed back. “But hey… they work together really well.”

With her mind being quick to catch what Billie Dean was implying, Wilhemina smiled. “Very well,” she repeated.

Billie Dean hummed. She took yet another bite, eyes on Venable. She’s so classy… Billie was sure she had never met anyone as such, not even the most famous or the richest of the richest had the class Wilhemina did. After a second of silence, Billie Dean took the courage to start speaking about what she actually wanted to. “I… I actually wanted to talk to you…”

Venable’s stomach dropped. Her appetite momentarily disappeared. She held the fork without really moving it as she stared at honey eyes. “Yes?”

She’s nervous. Billie instantly reached for her free hand. “It’s nothing bad,” she said gently, fingertips caressing the top of Wilhemina’s hand. Venable smiled shyly, but still nervously. “I just… earlier, at my house, did I—did something else happen? Or—or have I said something or is everything alright and I’m just overthinking?”

How can she express herself so clearly? It would always be a mystery to Wilhemina. Her nerves calmed down a bit, but not completely. “You’re just overthinking,” her tone was soft, gentle. The corners of her lips raised up a bit, and her hand turned to tangle her fingers with Billie Dean’s. “But I want to talk to you, too… about earlier as well.”

Laughing a little, Billie nodded. “Go on.”

Venable licked her lips as she searched for the best words she could find. Talking was hard for her most of the time. “Earlier… when we—when we got to the company. You grew quiet and I—I might be wrong, but I felt like you were… perhaps, overthinking something? And I just want to know if everything is alright, or if something happened, or if I… maybe I did something wrong? I figured I’d check on you.”

Two peas in a pod. Billie Dean felt the corners of her lips lifting up, even though she was taken by surprise in a way—which was, safe to say, kind of naive of her, given just how sensible Wilhemina always proved herself to be. Caressing the fingers tangled between her own, Billie nervously licked her lips. She does her best to be honest with me. I should be honest with her, too. “You did nothing wrong, darling. But I… I was in fact overthinking.” Subtly, Venable shifted on the chair. Billie Dean bit her inner cheek and forced herself to keep her eyes on Wilhemina’s. “I guess I have some insecurities when it comes to a few things—we all do, I know—but I… well, I suppose it’s what we talked about earlier, about me… me, um, being a whore.”

“Billie…” Venable frowned. She squeezed the hand on hers. She’s perfect. How can she have any insecurities? Who was Wilhemina to judge? She embraced them and she would do so with anything Billie Dean brought to the table. “I don’t think that.”

“I know, I just—I’m scared of screwing things up,” Billie blurted out before she could stop herself, eyes falling to the food.

Sucking on her lower lip, Venable’s eyebrows drew closer together a bit more. “So am I… I mean, you…” She took a deep breath. My stomach hurts. Her heart sped up. “You have m-more experience with p-people when it comes to n-nearly everything and I—I’m scared I w-won’t be enough for you in m-many ways…”

Many ways. It was Billie Dean’s turn to frown. She shook her head. “Does that have anything to do with the thoughts you had earlier? At my house?” Her tone was sweet, comforting; Billie wanted nothing more than to understand her.

Hesitantly, Wilhemina nodded. Billie gave her time, for she seemed to be pondering things, fingers caressing hers and eyes far away. After a minute, Venable gulped and blinked once. “M-my body is far from being n-normal,” she nearly whispered, eyes glossy. Billie Dean kept on looking at her with those pools of honey kindness, hand never leaving her own. Wilhemina took a deep, shaky breath. “Y-you… I assume y-you’ve slept with b-beautiful women who h-had no issues, and I—I’m n-not like them. I c-can’t move properly, my back is…” A tear slid down. Venable gulped and tightened her jaw, ignoring it. “My b-back is hideous. And I have s-so much in my mind all the time that I c-can’t help but think y-you’d be better off with any other w-woman.”

“Wilhie…” The tear scared Billie. When did Wilhemina cry? Today had been the first time she had ever seen her doing so. And it was because of the pain I was feeling. How much pain was Venable feeling right now? How much pain did that subject bring her? “So it does have to do with the women I’ve slept with…” I’m a whore.

At the words, Wilhemina instantly shook her head. “Angel, no.” She sniffled quickly, free hand reaching to wipe her cheek dry. No. No no no. “I m-mean—yes, but not in the way you’re implying.”

Billie Dean took a deep breath, eyes growing teary as well as she was back at looking down to the plate of food on the table. It was now simply something organic with no meaning behind it. “I k-know,” she croaked out. “But I s-still feel like shit.” Venable bit her inner cheek, heart aching as she watched her. Billie took yet another deep breath, trying to regulate her emotions. She just opened up to me about something serious. Now is not the time to have pity for myself. Honey eyes looked up to Wilhemina again. What even could she say to her? What even could begin to translate the emotions and feelings she had for that woman? “Darling… you are perfect to me,” Billie Dean’s tone was so damn gentle it resembled a whisper more than anything else. It was visible how Wilhemina tensed up on her chair again. “I don’t talk about your body because I know it makes you uncomfortable, but I do notice it, and I love it.” Venable’s cheeks flushed pink, contrasting with her pale skin. Billie smiled a little to herself as she carefully picked and chose her words, for perhaps that was one of the most important conversations they had ever had. “I think you are absolutely gorgeous—face and body. Earlier… earlier I was—I had never felt like that so fast. So easily.” It was Billie Dean’s turn to blush now. She struggled to keep her eyes on deep brown ones. “You barely touch me and I already have a reaction. I think you’re a masterpiece, and nothing can and will change my mind on that. I’ve never given your back thought, at least not in a bad way, and when it comes to your mobility, my love, that’s the smallest of details to me. If I have to switch houses because you don’t feel comfortable going upstairs, I will. If I have to build a whole new company building for us to work at because something is not ideal for you, I will. I’m aware you might have your limitations but who doesn’t? I mean—I talk to fucking ghosts,” Billie chuckled shyly, which got herself a teary smile from Wilhemina. I’m doing something right. It eased her heart a bit. “There are places I can’t stand for too long, or certain situations in which I can’t manage to stay at during much time… I worry that might be a problem to y-you, too. But then I think back to why I fell in love with you… and how you’ve always treated me and eased me… and then I know it’ll be alright. It’ll be no issue, because I was never too much for you. And you’ll never be too much for me—or too little—no matter how you see it.”

Venable’s cheeks had been silently drenched by now. She squeezed the hand on her own, nodding as she sniffled yet again. Her heart was beating fast and her whole body seemed to have gotten anesthetized; what should she be feeling right now? All Wilhemina knew was that she did, in fact, love that woman. “I…” She licked her lips. Billie Dean smiled at her so damn sweetly, so damn lovingly… Venable’s mind struggled to translate her emotions into words. She was overwhelmed with something so good she doubted she had ever felt like that before—or rather, she knew she had never felt like that before. For a brief moment, Wilhemina truly believed and accepted that Billie wouldn’t leave her. “I… I think… I…” I sound like a broken record machine. Venable could feel how incredibly warm her cheeks were, as well as her chest and ears. I probably look like a tomato. Who cared? Who cared about anything that was not Billie Dean right now? “Y-you’ll never be too much f-for me,” that was the best she managed to croak out.

Billie couldn’t help but bite the tip of her tongue as she smiled brightly to herself. Even though Wilhemina couldn’t find the words, Billie Dean was sure she knew exactly what she was feeling; she was speechless in the best way possible. This is precious. Billie took a mental picture of it and tucked it away inside her favorite pocket of her heart. “I know,” she said softly.

Venable bobbed her head, body tingling. She nibbled on her lower lip. “I’m sorry—I… I can’t f-find the words…” With a tiny chuckle, Billie Dean shook her head. Wilhemina offered her a coy smile. “Just… just k-know I feel the same way and I… I feel s-so lucky to have y-you in my life.” I love you.

Billie was more than fine with the words Venable had managed to find. She got up from her chair and walked to Wilhemina, who was already standing up and ready to embrace her in a tight hug. With her eyes closed, Billie Dean took a deep breath against Venable’s neck. “Thank you for being who you are,” she whispered.

Another tear slid down Wilhemina’s cheek. She cradled Billie’s head with one of her hands, fingers caressing blonde hair. “I think that’s the first time in my life that I’m glad for being who I am.”

Breaking the kiss after a moment, Billie Dean stared at brown eyes. Her heart was still beating fast, and her eyes still threatened to grow teary. After a second, she spoke again. “So… do you still wanna be with me?” She murmured.

“What have I just said, silly?”

Billie Dean’s cheeks tinted pink. “I’m just making sure…”

“You’re cute.” Venable leaned to kiss her on the nose, just like Billie did to her. “Yes, I do.” Will she when she sees just how fucked up I am when it comes to intimacy?

Billie smiled to herself, lip between her teeth as she kept on staring at brown eyes. They should probably go back to work, yet Billie Dean didn’t feel ready to go just now. The stairs are hard for her. She figured she’d just ask. “Would you like to go upstairs with me? I definitely could use some touch ups on my make up…”

Upstairs. Wilhemina bit her inner cheek. They had gone there once, and Billie had already seen her struggling… what else could happen? If Billie Dean hadn’t left her then, she probably wouldn’t leave her now. Why am I still thinking about her leaving me after all that just happened? It was exhausting to be inside her mind. She nodded. “Of course.” Besides, I don’t really want to leave her side right now.

“Okay.” Billie smiled. She pulled away to grab the folder, neatly placing the documents back inside while Venable reached for her cane and got up. They walked to the stairs and Billie Dean made sure to step aside so Wilhemina could go first, but Venable hesitated. Billie bit her lip. “I can help you if you want, darling. Just say so.”

Help. Wilhemina didn’t need any help. Her jaw tensed up again, and her walls began to rise. No. Not now. She squeezed her cane and forced herself to calm down. Billie Dean is safe. Closing her eyes for a second, she took a deep breath and shook her head. “Do you—do you mind going first? I get nervous when there’s people behind me.” Venable had learned to identify her triggers in therapy, and saying them out loud was supposed to help when she felt small. Billie was safe to hear them, to know them, to help with them.

“Of course not.” Gladly, Billie Dean began to make her way upstairs. I’ll keep that in mind. She was making a collection of things Venable preferred and felt the most comfortable with, from grape cheesecake to not being touched on her back. Billie took these things to the heart, for Wilhemina deserved it. She walked upstairs as slow as she could, discreetly keeping an eye on Venable in case she needed any help. When both of them reached up, she smiled at Wilhemina and guided them to her bedroom. “Make yourself comfortable, I’ll just put it back.” Billie Dean motioned to the folder before disappearing into the closet.

Not so bad, after all. Venable took a deep breath. Her back was not aching too sharply, and she didn’t feel as vulnerable as she thought she would. Quietly, she sat down on the edge of the bed as she waited for Billie, eyes scanning the bedroom. I love her house. Something in her chest had shifted, and she found herself… comfortable. Billie Dean walked back into the room, eyes a little less blotchy and nose a little less red. She smiled at her. She’s perfect. Billie took a seat beside Wilhemina, and as she was about to start speaking a pair of lips cut her. Venable kissed her lovingly, both hands cupping her cheeks. Billie Dean was a little surprised at first, but gladly kissed her back, hands reaching for Wilhemina’s waist and caressing it. The kiss grew in intensity. I need her, Venable’s mind screamed. Her ears buzzed as her skin grew warm, heart overflowing with adoration for that woman. Gently pulling away, Wilhemina stared at honey eyes, hands still holding her cheeks. “I… I’m sorry.” Her hands nervously rested back on her lap.

Billie felt her own ears buzzing as well, hair on the back of her neck standing up. She leaned and kissed Venable again, one of her palms gently holding Wilhemina’s left cheek. Her lips were slow against hers. “Why?” She whispered between their kiss, faces inches apart. Venable stared deeply at her, trying to find an answer to the question; she didn’t. So she shook her head and looked down at Billie Dean’s lips again, breath a little labored, hands caressing her waist. Wilhemina reconnected their lips, pulling Billie closer and closer, wanting—needing—to have her as near as physically possible. Billie instantly obliged, and before she knew, her own body hovered over Venable’s, kiss never breaking, both feeling—not really thinking. Wilhemina leaned back slowly, spine reaching the mattress softly just how she felt safe. Billie Dean was careful as she got on top of her, free hand resting beside the halo of red hair lying there. “For showing affection?” She whispered. Venable frowned as she stared up at her, hands playing with the collar of her sweater. Billie licked her lips. She’s fucking stunning. “Are you sorry for showing affection?” Her tone was full of softness, anything but accusatory. A thumb traced Wilhemina’s cheekbone, breaths mingling and matching.

“I s-suppose so,” Venable whispered back. How could that woman read her so damn well? She’s on top of me. It didn’t feel suffocating… at least not in a bad way. Wilhemina gulped, brown eyes tracing the details of Billie Dean’s face in this newfound angle. Angel.

Opening a sad smile, Billie Dean leaned back down. She placed a gentle kiss right on the corner of Venable’s lips, then another on her cheek, another on her forehead, another on her nose, and another and final one on her right cheek. Wilhemina’s breath trembled, chest quivering as her fingers played nonstop with Billie’s sweater, close to her shoulders. “You can always feel safe to show affection around me.” She kept on staring at brown eyes, both hands now resting beside Venable’s head.

Gulping, Wilhemina struggled not to look away. She nodded, lip caught between her teeth. “Y-you too.” Stupid. She ignored the inner voice. Nibbling on her lower lip, Venable kept on caressing Billie Dean’s shoulders, eyes glued on hers as she did so. “I never thought eyes could bring me such comfort…” She whispered after a moment, voice low and so utterly soft.

Billie felt herself turning into a puddle of something so sweet it nearly hurt. A shy chuckle left her lips. To know Wilhemina, the Wilhemina Venable found comfort in her… not even the holiest of experiences from the other side could ever compare. “I never thought I’d love purple so much,” she whispered back. Visibly, Wilhemina’s cheeks tinted red. Billie Dean found no need to comment on that, but she made sure to print the image on her mind.

I love you, Venable wanted to say, I love you so soon it scares me, I love you too much already, I feel like I’m a teenager in love and that is not appropriate. But why did appropriate even matter right now? With that woman on top of her, leg between her own, purple skirt raising up closer to her hips… why was appropriate even a thought right now? Wilhemina did the best she could and leaned up to kiss her again, pain shooting through her spine from the movement. She frowned, and Billie was quick to lean down and allow Venable to fully and comfortably rest her back on the mattress as she was doing before. The frown went way, and so Wilhemina cupped both of Billie Dean’s cheeks, kissing her with so much passion she didn’t think she had ever kissed anyone with such a strong intention before. And Billie was quick to comply, lips moving slowly as their tongues caressed each other, never fighting. Slowly, Billie Dean moved to kiss Venable’s jaw, using one of her hands to hold it up with her thumb carefully placed against it; gladly, Wilhemina threw her head back. Gentle panting filled the silence, and now two hands tangled in blonde hair and pulled Billie closer. “Oh,” Venable breathed out at a particular spot Billie Dean had nibbled.

At the reaction, Billie hummed and did it again. The fingertips buried in her hair tightened a little. Down her lower stomach, Billie Dean felt how it began to grow hotter by the second, eventually starting to burn. She nibbled on the skin of Wilhemina’s jaw and moved to kiss her neck, hand going back to the bed and supporting her body as it kept on hovering over Venable’s. Lavender clouded her senses more than usual, leaving her so deliciously dizzy. Two thumbs caressed Billie’s cheeks the best they could, pouring love and adoration on the skin. Billie Dean moved to the other side of Wilhemina’s neck, which caused her legs to shift a little; Venable spread her own a bit, accommodating the new position. Even against her jeans, Billie felt how warm Wilhemina’s skin there was, and just how much the skirt had moved up against her beautiful legs. Her legs… Billie Dean kissed Venable with even more gusto than before, causing another gasp to free itself from Wilhemina’s beautiful lips. Slowly, she pulled away and stared back at Venable’s eyes; they seemed to have gotten darker, pupils dilated, sight fixated on her. Billie took a deep breath. She felt how Wilhemina’s hands caressed her back, playing with the hem of her sweater as she desperately fought the urge to slip them underneath it. Billie Dean wanted them to go under. It’s on her terms. All she could do was lean down and kiss that woman again. One of her hands slipped down and to Venable’s waist, caressing it right where her skirt met her sweater. Her fingertips brushed against milky, warm skin, and Billie could feel her own underwear clinging to her. Oh God. She nibbled gently at Wilhemina’s lower lip, pulling softly on it before kissing her again.

Another gasp left Venable’s lips, low and muffled. Her lower stomach burned. Her toes nearly curled against her shoes, fingertips moving to play with Billie Dean’s belt, keeping herself busy. Her back had begun to arch, begging for more—more touches, more love, more Billie. Without being able to hold herself any longer, both of her hands slipped under the cloth of Billie Dean’s sweater, being instantly met by the warmth and softness of her skin. Against their kiss, Billie sighed contently, which caused them to just rest there for a second, lips touching but no longer moving, eyes closed, breaths labored and turning into one. A small smile tugged up on Wilhemina’s lips. She caressed the skin as light as a feather, barely touching it. Goosebumps filled Billie Dean’s body, and as Venable felt it, her insides twisted harshly. “Billie Dean,” she murmured against her lips. Billie simply nodded as her own hand now caressed Wilhemina’s ribcage, feeling the way each rib lightly rose the skin there. “Is that o-okay?”

Instantly, Billie Dean nodded. She pulled back just enough to stare at Venable’s beautiful brown oceans. “Is that?” She asked back. Wilhemina nodded as she gulped. She’s never looked so beautiful. Venable had her skin rosy, her lips glossy and red, her eyes blown wide… Billie was sure she had found the definition of a goddess. “Are you comfortable?” Wilhemina nodded again. Billie Dean relaxed a little more. Her nails slowly scratched Venable’s skin, moving dangerously close to her clothed breast. Wilhemina shivered. Down on her waist, Billie felt how she tightened her grip, pulling her even closer. A small smirk graced Billie Dean’s features, and she repeated the action.

This time, Venable couldn’t hold back the nearly inaudible moan that left her lips. “Mgh…” She could see the way Billie’s pupils grew with the sound. Her cheeks burned with shame, but she ignored it—or rather, didn’t have the mind to care about it right now. “Go up,” she whispered.

Billie Dean blinked once. “Are you—are you sure?” Venable nodded. Billie felt her whole body engulfing in what could only be compared to flames. As slow as she could manage, Billie Dean allowed her hand to creep up. Her digits brushed on the underside of Wilhemina’s delicate lacy bra, and the blonde hair on the back of her neck stood up. Billie licked her lips, eyes never leaving Venable’s as she moved further. Eventually, her fingertips brushed on the fat held by the cup, slowly cupping it all. Wilhemina sighed as her eyes fluttered closed, and so Billie Dean leaned to kiss those rosy lips again, feeling as hands pulled her even closer. With her palm against Wilhemina’s breast, Billie slowly began to massage it. She felt as Venable’s kisses grew a little sloppy, which caused her to smile as she kept on going.

“Mgh,” Wilhemina whimpered. Her back arched, hands drowning in the smooth skin of Billie’s back. Billie Dean pulled on her lower lip again, and Venable was sure she wouldn’t handle much more. Her hands went further, finding the hook of Billie’s bra; she played with it, mind trying to figure out which color it could be. White. Lace. There was no doubt in her mind.

Take it off, Billie Dean wanted to say, do whatever you please. But she was in no position of asking for anything. Her thumb now found Wilhemina’s nipple on top of the lace; it was up already, begging for attention. Billie kissed lower and to Venable’s neck again, peppering it with kisses. Her thumb insisted against the bud, massaging it slowly as her kisses matched the pace of it—lazy and open mouthed.

“Oh…” Wilhemina couldn’t stop herself; her body simply refused to quiet down. How long had it been since she had last allowed a woman to touch her like that? Emma. It didn’t even compare. Her hips bucked once, and she felt the way Billie Dean’s body reacted to it, bucking back against her. “Mgh,” she moaned, for how one could have Billie Dean Howard on top of them and not do so? Her ears buzzed sweetly, muffling the hum Billie let out right underneath one of them. Billie Dean’s arm that supported her against the mattress burned, but she paid it no mind. How could she even care about it right now? She nibbled right on Venable’s pulse point, soon allowing the pad of her tongue to soothe it. Wilhemina’s short nails carefully scratched up and down her back, erupting more and more goosebumps. She pulled on the elastic of the bra there and let it gently snap back against Billie’s skin, which got Venable a gasp from her. Bitting her lower lip, she let out a quiet chuckle.

Opening a bright smile against Venable’s skin, Billie Dean massaged the breast a little more forcefully, cradling the fat in her palm and thumb focusing on the nipple. “You’re such a tease,” she whispered playfully, right at the cusp of Wilhemina’s ear.

The words brought a kind of flashback into Venable’s mind; Emma had said something similar to her once or twice, but Gosh did it feel different now. Giggling quietly, Wilhemina hummed back. She looked down, trying to take a look of honey eyes. Billie got the cue and looked up, instantly offering her a smile. Venable moved one of her hands to cup a cheek, pulling Billie Dean for a kiss on the lips. “Would you go under my bra?” She barely whispered, eyes closed. I’m being greedy. Shame wanted to down on her, but it lost the battle to the lust that filled Wilhemina’s body in that moment.

With her lower stomach twisting and turning, Billie Dean nodded. She rested her lips against Venable’s as she carefully slipped her palm underneath the lace, instantly cupping Wilhemina’s bare breast. “Mmh,” it was her turn to moan. Against Billie’s lips, Venable let out a tiny gasp, head bending back again. Billie Dean moved down to lazily trace the skin of her neck with her lips. Calm down. Take it easy. It’s her pace. The fat was warm against her palm, inviting and so absolutely tempting. Billie fought to keep her hips still, but they bucked nonetheless. Wilhemina’s skirt lifted a bit more, which didn’t help settle the fire between Billie Dean’s legs. Her fingers carefully rolled Venable’s nipple between them, feeling as it got impossibly harder. Even though hardly noticeable, Billie Dean felt the way Wilhemina’s hips moved in bed, and against her lips she felt just how much her pulse point trembled. What does she taste like? The thought forced Billie to nibble on the skin where her lips rested, mouth watering. She rolled the nipple a little more forcefully, and down on her back she felt as Venable held her closer, hands caressing her muscles underneath her bra. “Let me kiss them,” she whispered without really thinking. “Let me kiss your breasts.” Her voice was raspy and thick with want.

With her whole body shivering, Wilhemina took a shaky, deep breath. Her fingers moved up and tangled in blond hair, caressing it. “Y-yes.” She didn’t think she was physically able to deny Billie Dean anything right now, for not even her words seemed to properly come out.

The kisses moved lower as Billie let out a whimper, both hands now slowly starting to lift the purple sweater just enough. Her back. Billie Dean knew the waters she was stepping at were hazy. Carefully settling her hips between Venable’s legs, Billie licked her lips. Slowly, she moved closer and placed a slow, open mouthed kiss right where the waist of Wilhemina’s skirt met the smooth skin of her stomach. Venable’s breath got even heavier as she stared down at Billie, thumbs gently pushing her hair away from her face. Billie Dean’s mouth watered more and more by the second. Both hands held Wilhemina’s waist, caressing it up and down as her lips moved slowly, tracing all the skin she found there, nose buried in lavender heaven. She kissed a freckle or two she found on Venable’s stomach, taking a mental picture of that as her hands now lifted the sweater enough for Wilhemina’s breasts to peek underneath the purple lace. Billie took a deep breath. Honey eyes landed on the sight in front of her, and she couldn’t help but gulp. “You’re a goddess, Wilhemina,” she rasped. Venable bit her lower lip harshly. Nervousness kept on echoing inside, but she kept herself busy by playing with Billie Dean’s silky blonde locks. Leaning down, Billie placed a single kiss in the valley between Wilhemina’s breasts. Her cheeks burned. Her heart skipped a beat. In that position, she could feel just how fast Venable’s heart was beating. She’s nervous. So was Billie Dean if she were being honest, but her mind had so many things going through and nothing at all at the same time that fathoming all of her emotions was a hard task. With her coral nails scratching up Wilhemina’s sides again, Billie eventually cupped both of her breasts, eyes on her. Venable’s head fell back at the mattress, body arching as she bit her lower lip. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone sexier. What a beautiful and holly scene she had in front of her. As light as a feather, Billie Dean slipped Wilhemina’s right breast off of the cup of lace, giving it full color and freedom. Her thumb massaged the nipple as her lips attached themselves to the valley between them one more time, placing lazy kisses and overall just feeling the smoothness there. Venable’s body felt as if it would combust at any given moment, and so she had no choice but to buck her hips again, right against Billie’s. At the movement, Billie Dean hummed and wasted no more time; her lips kissed all the way to the exposed nipple, and as she looked up to the beautiful angel on her bed, her tongue began to circle it, eventually focusing on the bud.

“Mgh… oh…” Wilhemina felt her insides contracting at nothing at all, fingers tightening the grip on blonde locks. She forced herself to take a deep breath, lips parted as her back arched the best it managed to. It’s been so long… Billie kissed her body as if she were the most precious piece of silk that had ever been, treated it like a holly temple—so different than what it was used to. Her eyes filled with tears. Down on her chest, Billie Dean nibbled on her nipple and sucked on it, hand massaging the other one as it was now out of the cup, too. Venable panted delicately, filling the silence of the bedroom.

“Mm,” Billie hummed, for how could she not? Her tongue circled the bud before focusing on it one more time, lips closing around it and gently sucking. For a minute, she thought she had died and went to heaven. Everything that mattered right now was lavender. Lavender, lavender, lavender. With a trail of kisses, she moved to the other side and began to give it equal treatment, free hand pulling Wilhemina impossibly closer by the waist. “Wilhemina…” she murmured.

“Mgh…” Venable felt herself gradually losing control of her body. Her eyes squeezed shut as more tears seemed to come; was that what being appreciated felt like? Was that what not hating yourself and allowing others to love you was like? Was that what being loved by Billie Dean was like? She’ll soon realize I’m a disaster… how many women has she seen naked? Do you really think you can compete to a perfectly able-body? Reality kicked back in as harshly as a bucket of cold water. Brown eyes opened quickly. A tear slid down each cheek. Wilhemina took a deep breath as the weight on top of her began to feel blunderingly suffocating, keeping her away from feeling safe any longer. “B-Billie,” she called, voice trembling in a not-so-good way anymore. She lifted her head to look down at her. “B-Billie… I…” I’m fucking everything up as I always do.

The tone of Venable’s voice had changed. Billie Dean looked up only to realize the tears. Instantly, she pulled away. “Darling,” she reached up to cup one of her cheeks, moving to sit up a little better, arm back at supporting her. “Darling, are you alright?” Oh no. That was too much. Guilt crawled inside of her. With the dimple of worry between her eyebrows, Venable’s breath grew a little more labored. She nodded, reaching to pull her clothes back down. Quickly getting the cue, Billie sat up and pulled away from Wilhemina, giving her space.

Using her elbows as support, Wilhemina sat up beside Billie Dean, eyes closed as she looked down, hands nervously playing with each other. She’ll leave as soon as she sees your back. You don’t deserve to be happy. How much of a pervert can you be? She took another deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut, jaw locked tight. Stop it. Stop it, please. Blood rushed through her body. Her lungs almost wanted to refuse the air that came in, but she fought against it.

Watching Venable, Billie felt a little lost. She wiped her lips clean and bit her inner cheek. What do I do?! “Darling…” she tried again, and this time Wilhemina blindly reached for one of her hands and tangled their fingers together, holding her tightly. Billie Dean’s heart eased a little, even though she was beginning to learn that the tight grip meant fear—fear that she would leave. Billie caressed the digits between her own, wanting to comfort Venable in whatever was happening inside her head. After a minute or two of taking deep breaths, Wilhemina opened her eyes again. She sighed. Billie moved closer. “Are you alright, my love?” she asked softly.

Embarrassedly, Venable nodded. She struggled to look back up at honey eyes. “I’m sorry,” she nearly whispered. My love.

Billie shook her head. “You have nothing to apologize for.” With her free hand, she caressed one of Wilhemina’s cheeks. “It’s all good. Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” Venable was quick to answer. “No, not at all, I just… thoughts,” she sighed. “I’m sorry, I just—they change quickly sometimes, and I… I panic.” How inadequate. She gulped nervously. I always manage to make her feel like my fucked up ways are her fault.

“Hey, look at me.” Billie Dean’s thumb insisted against Wilhemina’s cheek. Their eyes met. She smiled sadly. “Do not apologize, okay? It’s alright, it’s all good.” Leaning closer, she kissed Venable’s forehead, for perhaps the lips could be too much right now, Billie thought. “Thank you for letting me know there was something wrong.”

“There wasn’t… my mind is just a mess.”

“A beautiful, incredible mess, then.”

The words struck something inside Venable she couldn’t quite point to. Nibbling on her lower lip, she leaned against the palm with a frown, opening a sad, small smile. She thought for a minute or two, just staring at Billie Dean’s eyes and appreciating the comfort it somehow always brought to her. Her chest felt less tight, and her breathing calmed down. “Thank you,” Wilhemina said lowly. Accepting her mess was not for everybody. Not even herself accepted it. Billie Dean nodded and smiled back at her, thumb never letting go of caressing the skin there. She wanted to talk more about what had happened; wanted to learn more about Wilhemina, wanted to understand her better, yet she figured now was not the time. It was too soon, and she should give her space. With the nerves gradually calming down, Wilhemina could now focus on just how she had enjoyed it all, for her body was still very much warm and between her legs had begun to feel somewhat uncomfortable. Licking her lips, she pondered her next words. “Just for the record,” she began, leaning closer to place a kiss on Billie’s cheek. “I really enjoyed it,” she whispered, skin turning red all over again.

With her lower stomach still burning from before, Billie Dean had to bite her lip to physically stop herself from letting out a whimper. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, reaching to caress Venable’s waist with the hand that previously cupped her cheek. “Me too,” she managed to say. “I really, really enjoyed it.”Letting out a coy chuckle, Wilhemina nodded. She leaned and kissed Billie Dean on the lips, getting a hum back from her as her hands squeezed Venable’s waist where they rested. As they pulled away, Billie let out a sigh. “I really need to use the bathroom,” she chuckled. “I’ll be back.”

“Alright.” Wilhemina cleared her throat. She watched as Billie Dean followed into her closet, eyes inevitably falling to her beautiful hips. That woman was on top of me. She bit her inner cheek and looked away, fighting to recompose herself. Now, in solitude, Venable’s mind seemed to have trouble processing everything that had happened so far. I hope she’s truly okay. Wilhemina wished she could do something to help, something to support her. Simply being there for her didn’t feel like it was enough, specially being herself. She’d probably be better off with any of these other women. Venable sighed out loud. It was clear her mind would not give her a break for a while. Reaching to wipe her lips clean and to fix her hair, Wilhemina tried focusing on something other than the growing self consciousness inside of her. My skirt is all messed up. She reached for her cane that still rested against the bed—now nearly falling down—and got up. Her underwear felt incredibly damp. Ignoring it the best she could, Venable fixed her skirt. I wish I had touched her more… I wish I had kissed her thighs. Wilhemina gulped. I love her legs. I love her lips. I love her body. She walked over to the closet and to the mirror there, fixing the rest of what was to fix. The door to the bathroom opened, revealing a now composed Billie Dean. She smiled at her.

“I just need to fix my makeup and we can go back to the company.” Billie reached for some wipes at the drawer of her vanity. “Would you like one?”

Venable nodded. “Thank you.” She grabbed one and turned back around to the mirror.

As she wiped the smudged parts of her makeup, Billie Dean watched Wilhemina through the glass. I can’t believe I just had her on my bed, underneath my lips. Billie was not one to get easily in awe, but Venable had a way of making her just do so. Especially when she knew how hard it was for her to accept affection, and to show affection. Joy filled her chest in a way she wasn’t quite expecting. She trusts me. What a privilege to be trusted by Wilhemina Venable. “Would you join me for lunch later?” Billie Dean still felt the need to have a proper conversation about what had happened, and to perhaps ease her mind a bit.

“Of course. Where would you like to go?”

Billie Dean hummed as she moved to throw her wipe into the small trashcan beside her vanity. Wilhemina did the same. “There’s a restaurant near there that serves good food. We can try it.”

“You know I don’t argue with you when it comes to good food,” Venable teased. Her chest was just now going back to complete normalcy. Billie laughed as she reached to wrap an arm around her waist, pulling Wilhemina closer and placing a kiss on the side of her head.

Both followed downstairs and to Billie Dean’s garage, ready to go back to the company. Before leaving, Billie made sure Eleanor ordered her lunch and took a proper break, and only then they got going their way. As they stepped into the elevator, Billie Dean took a deep breath, fingers tangled with Wilhemina’s. From the corner of her eyes, Venable watched as she nervously chewed on her lower lip. “Billie,” she called. “Are you alright?”

“Yes.” With her heart starting to go back to its normal speed, Wilhemina took a deep breath. She’s… out of this world. “You can help me if I get lost.”

“Always.” Billie smiled as she caressed Venable’s knee.

Always. Wilhemina bit her lower lip. I shouldn’t be in love so fast. Chuckling to herself, she turned the car on and began to drive. As they stopped at a red light, Venable reached to caress Billie’s hand. It was still astonishing to Wilhemina just how organic Billie Dean’s touch was… she was driving with someone’s hand on her knee and it felt natural. When had she ever stopped to think about that ever being a possibility in her life? The light soon turned green again. The silence between them was comfortable, with only small comments being shared until they eventually got to Billie Dean’s house.

“You remembered it perfectly,” Billie said softly as Venable began to park right in front of the mansion. With a small smile, Wilhemina nodded. Billie Dean bit her lower lip as she was suddenly reminded of the mess her house was. She’ll think I’m absolutely filthy. Billie was definitely not the most organized person in the planet, but she was far from being grimy. A weird type of nervousness crawled inside of Billie Dean. “Um,” she nervously licked her lips as they unbuckled and stepped out of the car. “Eleanor was supposed to have come yesterday, but because of the party I asked her not to…” Wilhemina eyed Billie as they walked to the huge gate, not quite understanding what she meant just yet. “It’s a bit messy,” Billie Dean added.

Oh. Venable bit her inner cheek in order to hold back a grin. Billie was worried about what she’d think of her… that was strangely sweet. “It’s okay,” she shook it off. Billie Dean’s house was Billie Dean’s house, she had nothing to do with it.

I didn’t wash the dishes and I’m sure the living room is a mess. Billie was already embarrassed, and they hadn’t even stepped inside yet. Wilhemina was so organized and had everything perfectly placed in her house, Billie Dean was sure it was going to be a contrast. Will she be less attracted to me because of it? No, that was a stupid thought… her house wasn’t even that messy, to start with. Pushing the huge front door open, Billie stepped aside for Venable to get in. “There it is.”

With her cane tapping on the marble floor, Wilhemina looked around almost in awe; not because the house was huge—it definitely was—but because it was Billie Dean’s. And it screamed Billie Dean. The couches on the living room were white leather, and all the furniture and decorations had a light palette to them, variating from blue to coral to pink. There were a few awards in a huge shelf as well as some books and pictures, and the room was bathing in natural sunlight from the huge windows it had. The pillows on the couch were far from being neatly placed though, and there was a trashcan right in the middle of the living room. Weird. In other times, Venable would have judged; would have thought about how a grown woman had the nerve to keep her house anything other than perfectly tidy. But Wilhemina had been learning a thing or two about being so strict. “It’s a gorgeous living room, indeed.”

“Why, thank you.” Billie Dean had already kicked her shoes off, stepping inside to try and make it more presentable; she grabbed the pillows and set them straight, as well as reaching for the trashcan and pushing it to the corner. “I’m sorry, they were doing my makeup for the party in here and I assumed having a trashcan was easier than allowing trash to collect.” Venable nodded. “It’s usually not that messy,” Billie harped on the same string again. “Eleanor comes three times a week, on Monday she should be here.”

“It’s okay,” Wilhemina repeated, and this time she allowed a tiny smile to lift up the corners of her lips. “It’s not that bad.”

A chuckle left Billie Dean’s cheeks as she finally let go of the pillows—they were still not perfectly placed. “You haven’t seen the kitchen.”

“Show me?”

With another chuckle, Billie nodded. She reached for Venable’s hand and guided her there. As they stepped into the room, honey eyes grew wide as she was reminded of all the frozen pizza she had eaten, for the boxes were stacked in the corner of the room near the trashcan, and two or three plates lay dirty on the sink as well as a few glasses. “I should have kept my mouth shut,” she murmured shyly.

Wilhemina would never, in a million years, accept her kitchen to look like that… good thing it wasn’t her kitchen, right? A lens of sweetness covered her eyes as she looked at the jumble. In order to live, we must create some messes. Someone had told her that a few years ago. Probably her therapist. “That’s a lot of pizza,” she commented with a smile.

“I know!” Billie used her free hand to cover her reddening cheeks. “I was sad.”A hint of sadness touched the smile on Venable’s face. She squeezed Billie Dean’s hand, but didn’t say anything. Oh shit. Billie quickly changed the focus. “Would you—would you like a glass of water? I have juice, too, and wine if you’re feeling like it.”

“I’m alright, thank you.” They hadn’t had lunch already, wine was certainly not an option.

Billie Dean pulled away to grab a glass from the counter, filling it with water. “Are you sure? I might have some soda left, too.”

“I’m positive.” Wilhemina nodded.

Billie took a sip. “If you change your mind, please let me know.”

“I will.”

Finishing her glass, Billie Dean began to guide them to her bedroom, which was upstairs. As soon as Venable eyed the stairs, her hand gripped the cane harsher. She let go of Billie’s hand and reached for the handrail, holding it tightly as she tried to follow up as fast as possible. Billie Dean frowned as the hand let go of hers, looking back only to realize what was going on. Her heart sank for a second, and she wasn’t sure she should really say anything or just let it go. Should she ask if Wilhemina needed any help? Would that be appropriate? Would she feel bad? Billie bit her lip harshly as she slowly followed up, not wanting to rush in front of Wilhemina. “Do you—do you want help?” She asked hesitantly, stopping to look back at Venable once again.

Wilhemina’s knuckles turned white as her cheeks tinted red. She shamefully shook her head, soon holding it back up and making sure her posture was as neat as always. Want. Not need. Even though it probably wasn’t a conscious choice of words, Venable appreciated it. It made her feel less small, and Gosh was she feeling small right now. “No. Thank you.” She kept on taking step by step, leaning heavily on the cane as she did so. Brown eyes avoided honey ones. How is she in love with me? I’m broken. The voice was back again. Wilhemina’s jaw tensed up.

Billie nervously licked her lips and gave Venable a nod. She continued to slowly follow upstairs, eyes closing as she felt like drowning on how uncomfortable she felt. How should she act in situations like this? Why the fuck did I have to want two floors? There was no way past Billie Dean would have known, but she still somehow martyred herself over it. I’ll have to talk about that with her, some other time. Finally arriving upstairs, Billie offered a hand to Wilhemina again. “My bed is probably a mess,” she tried, hoping to make the awkwardness go away.

Inside her mind, Venable was back at fighting with the derogatory thoughts; they bombarded her. You’re broken. You’ll never be enough for her. You don’t deserve her. She’ll soon get tired of you. Her palm no longer felt good against Billie Dean’s, all of a sudden. No no no. Stop it. She forced her fingers to wrap around Billie’s. At the comment, she smiled the best she could and shook her head, trying to bring herself out of her inner turmoil. “It’s okay.”

As they stepped into Billie Dean’s bedroom, honey eyes grew in shame at the way her covers were all messily pilled up on the bed, and a glass or two stood on her nightstand. To top it all off, a plastic bag full of used tissues hung on one of the drawers. Fuck my life. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, quickly walking to grab the bag and shoving it inside the nightstand.

Watching Billie blush because of her caused all the voices inside Wilhemina’s head to lower a notch. She bit her lower lip, smiling a little. The room was a mess alright, but it was Billie Dean’s mess. “It’s okay,” she said, yet again.

“You must think I’m a nightmare to share a house with,” Billie Dean teased. Seriously, she probably does. Her cheeks kept on tinting.

Agreeing with Billie’s statement would have been Venable’s first reaction had she not known Billie Dean’s lifestyle. How was Billie supposed to keep a house this size tidy when she barely had time to sleep? That’s why she has a maid, after all. “You work a lot.” Yes, taking the glasses to the kitchen wouldn’t hurt, and having at least a trashcan to place the plastic bag inside was common decency, but Wilhemina decided to ignore that. Because frankly, she liked Billie too much for it to carry a heavy weight.

“It was a tough week,” Billie Dean breathed out without thinking much. Venable nodded, but didn’t say anything. “After seeing all this… am I still welcome to spend the night at your place?” She teased again. With a small chuckle and with her nerves finally giving up and starting to relax, Wilhemina nodded. “Yay,” Billie chuckled back. She took a step closer to Venable and lovingly pecked her lips, lingering there for a second. A hand sneaked around her waist, holding her there. Billie Dean smiled, gently pulling away. She stared at brown eyes, hands caressing Venable’s hips . “On a more serious note,” her voice was now a bit firmer. “I’m not that messy. I mean—I’m not that messy while sharing my space. I—I respect people’s boundaries. I wouldn’t mess your place, that’s what I mean.”

She’s nearly stumbling over her words. Wilhemina didn’t think she’d ever have that effect on someone—at least not in a good way. Most people stumbled over words because they were intimidated by her. With her smile spreading timidly, she nodded. And her hand made sure to caress the soft spot where it landed on Billie’s back. “I know. I’m not worried about that.” Mostly because she hadn’t stopped to think about that yet.

Billie Dean nodded and kissed her again. Her lips were as soft as one supposed a cloud would be. “Come on,” she barely whispered as she pulled away, grabbing Venable’s hand and guiding her into the closet. Wilhemina could barely believe how many clothes she saw there, not to mention Billie had shelves just for her shoes, purses and accessories, as well as a huge full body mirror and a large vanity. Billie Dean took her to a small couch in the middle of the room, and Venable quickly took a seat. With a smile, she bent down to kiss her once more. “I’ll just change and grab a few things.”

“It’s no rush,” Wilhemina murmured against Billie’s lips. They kissed again before Billie Dean finally pulled away.

“Oh,” she back down. “Can you unzip me?” Billie turned around. “I can do it myself, but since you’re here…”

“Of course.” Reaching up, Venable carefully pulled the delicate piece south. Her fingertips burned as freckled skin appeared underneath the material, revealing more and more of Billie. She gulped, pulling away when it was done and revealing the tiniest bit of lace from Billie Dean’s underwear.

“Thank you.” Billie held the dress close to herself and got back up. She walked to a more secluded area, where Wilhemina couldn’t really see her, and discarded the dress aside. Now, only in her panties, she reached for a pair of jeans and a sweater. After getting dressed, Billie Dean walked back to the room to collect a few things. Underwear, pajamas, cigarettes, perfume, phone charger… She set everything inside a handbag, and all the while, dark brown eyes were glued on her; Venable watched Billie’s every move, eyes scanning her unabashedly, passing up and down through her body with a different kind of intention. “I’m all set,” Billie Dean turned around to Wilhemina. Her insides twisted at the look Venable had on her face. She’s been watching me. The hair that stood up on the back of her neck made a lot of sense.

“Alright.” Wilhemina licked her dry lips, reaching for her cane to get up. She finally looked away. How can someone look so good in jeans? She took a deep breath.

“I just need to find some shoes.” Billie walked to one of the shelves and reached for a pair of white sneakers. Her feet needed a break from heels. She quickly put it on and turned back around. “Ready?”

“Yes.” Venable reached for Billie Dean’s hand and they both walked out of the bedroom and to the stairs. This time, Billie quickly let go of Wilhemina to allow her to better go downstairs. It was easier to go down than up, for Venable.

When they reached the living room, Billie Dean guided them to the front door, fingers tangled with Wilhemina’s again. She could see how Venable eyed her legs from time to time, quickly looking away right after. A small smirk touched her lips. As she opened the front door and Wilhemina stepped outside, Billie allowed herself to stare at Venable’s butt for a bit longer; she bit her inner cheek and looked away to lock the door as soon as Wilhemina looked back at her. “We can order something for lunch, later,” she decided to speak so her inappropriate thoughts didn’t consume her.

“Sure,” Venable nodded. She forced herself to stop staring so much at Billie Dean, but how could she stop when that woman was wearing jeans? They walked to the huge gate and Billie stopped to set the alarm there; once she did it, they finally stepped outside. Wilhemina already reached for the car keys. “Are you hungry already?”

“No,” Billie shook her head. “Are you?”

“No.” Venable unlocked the car, but before she could reach for her door, Billie Dean was already opening it for her. Warmth made its way to her cheeks. She offered her a timid smile. “Thank you.”

Smiling brightly, Billie nodded. “Of course.” She leaned closer and pecked Wilhemina’s cheek, because she could.

Holding back a sweet chuckle, Venable got into the car. How is she real? She bit her lower lip to stop her smiling from growing too much. Billie Dean soon joined her inside, and once they buckled up Wilhemina began to drive. A hand landed on her knee, caressing it. Venable’s brown eyes fell down to it for a second, and her cheeks kept on fighting with the expanding smile. “Your nails are always so beautifully done… how do you maintain them?” she asked after a second of silence.

“Oh,” Billie Dean eyed the hand that caressed Wilhemina’s knee. “They’re gel extensions.” Venable hummed, and honey eyes noticed how she seemed to frown a little. “Every two weeks I get them done. My former agent advised me to always have my hands in order, since I talk too much with them. It’s been years since my natural nails have seen the light of day.”

Wilhemina supposed it made sense. She stared at her own nails at the wheel, and part of her felt ashamed that they were kept… natural. She always made sure her nails were clean and cut short, of course, but that was it; sometimes she dared painting them a shade of purple, but it was a rare event. “They’re beautiful.”

Billie couldn’t hold the chuckle that left her lips. She remembered, back when they barely knew each other, how Venable had commented on her nails and how she seemed to not like them. “You don’t mean it,” she teased.

With her frown growing, Wilhemina looked at Billie Dean as they stopped at a red light. “I do.”

“You don’t,” Billie laughed. “You’ve told me you didn’t like them some time ago. It’s okay, they’re not everyone’s cup of tea.” She lovingly squeezed Venable’s knee to make a point.

Damn it. Wilhemina’s cheeks tinted once again. Honesty sometimes costed a lot. “I like them, now.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“It definitely does.” Billie Dean chuckled again. The light turned green, and so Venable had to look away and to the road.

“I’m glad you do, then.” Billie squeezed Wilhemina’s leg one more time, caressing it.

Venable chewed on her bottom lip as she thought. “I suppose I’ve grown used to them… they compliment you.” And they do look sexy. She kept that part to herself.

Billie Dean hummed. She looked at her own hand again, examining the nails. “Like the purple with you.”

“You didn’t like the purple back then?” The question flew from Wilhemina’s lips before she could really think about it.

Billie Dean’s eyes grew in size. She looked at Venable even though brown eyes kept glued on the road. “No, I did. That’s not what I meant.”

I didn’t like the nails, she didn’t like the purple. Insecurity crawled inside Wilhemina, even though it made no sense; Billie didn’t have to like every single part of her life… right? I don’t like her any less because she smokes. But Billie Dean was Billie Dean, Billie Dean was beautiful and perfect and had every single aspect of her life in place. Venable was no Billie Dean.

“Hey,” Billie’s soft tone cut through Wilhemina’s inner turmoil. She squeezed her knee again. She’s ashamed. “All I meant is that I’ve grown used to the purple, too. And that it compliments you well. I’ve always been fond of it.” Venable nodded. She gulped as the light turned red again. Brown eyes hesitated, but moved to honey ones. Billie Dean offered her a small smile, warm and comforting as always. And then she leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I love the purple,” she repeated, just to make sure.

With her inner cheek trapped between her teeth, Wilhemina opened a timid smile. She nodded, yet again. “I love the coral,” she said shyly, and the smile that graced Billie’s face was so damn beautiful Venable was afraid she was about to melt. The light changed colors again, and so Wilhemina forced herself to look away. One of her hands, however, reached to squeeze Billie’s.

In no more than twenty minutes, Venable was already parking at her garage. They both got out of the car, Billie Dean with her bag in hand. Wilhemina reached for her keys and opened the door, allowing Billie to step inside first. As she walked by Venable, Billie Dean reached to caress her waist, watching as Purpura meowed and came running to greet them at the door.

“Hi, cutie,” Billie said softly. Purpura watched Billie Dean but didn’t lean closer to her legs.

The hand around her waist felt good. Almost too good. Wilhemina smiled at the cat and turned to close the door. “She’s used to pets first thing when I get home.”

“I can see that.” Honey eyes watched the way the cat leaned against the corner table, rubbing her back against it.

“She’s very spoiled,” Venable commented sweetly as she carefully took off her shoes and set them aside. Billie quickly did the same. Then, they walked to the couch. Only then Wilhemina took notice of the fact she was pretty sure she had never seen Billie Dean with anything other than heels. The white sneakers didn’t make her any less classy.

“I think that’s adorable.” As soon as they sat down, Purpura jumped up and to Venable’s lap.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Wilhemina chuckled. She set her cane aside and caressed between the cat’s ears. Loud purrs filled the room.

Smiling to herself, Billie Dean reached to caress Purpura on top of her sweater. The cat leaned closer to her. “Is it good?” A tiny meow was heard. Billie gasped as Venable let out a laugh.

“I think it is.”

“She’s so smart.”

Wilhemina nodded, fingers still caressing the cat’s skin. After a minute or two, she looked at Billie. Her lower lip got trapped between her teeth as she watched the way honey eyes were so lovingly glued to the cat. I’d love to paint her. Venable could trace Billie Dean’s features with her eyes so perfectly well; she could see where she’d add shade and volume, which colors she would mix to match the shade of her silky hair and cherry lips. “Would you allow me to paint you sometime?”

Billie blinked softly as she looked at Wilhemina. “Paint me?”

Venable nodded. “As a reference.”

With her cheeks gaining a bit of color, Billie Dean nodded back. “Yes.” Why was that so romantic? The idea of having Wilhemina staring at her every single detail for hours had the hair on the back of her neck standing up. Billie used her free hand to reach for Venable’s knee, caressing it. Purpura now jumped off of Wilhemina’s lap and walked to the kitchen. “That’s so sweet of you…”

“What is?” Venable had trouble understanding; Billie Dean was the one who agreed to an idea of hers, after all.

“You, wanting to paint me.”

“Oh.” Wilhemina hadn’t stopped to think about the possibility of it coming off as weird. But it suddenly popped into her mind that it could be. “I mean—only if you feel comfortable.”

“I do,” Billie Dean quickly said. She squeezed Venable’s knee again, and this time a hand tangled with hers. Wilhemina caressed her fingers. “I just find it such a lovely thing, that you would want to paint me.”

“You’re beautiful,” Venable simply said. Because it was true, and because she didn’t think she’d ever get tired of staring at her.

With her cheeks tinting even more, a shy cackle left Billie’s lips. Her eyes moved away from brown ones before coming back again. “So are you… unfortunately, all I can draw are stick figures.”

With a small laugh, Venable shook her head. She’d have to draw a crooked one. The thought came flying with no warnings, although more of that kind had been lingering in the back of her head ever since she had to face the stairs. Wilhemina gulped and shoved it aside. “I bet they’re lovely.”

“I can make a purple one for you.” Playfully, Billie Dean winked. And it was just so damn pure to be able to enjoy another person like that; with no worries, with no fears. Venable didn’t hold back the laugh that left her lips, and Billie just stared and stared at that woman nonstop, wanting to remember every single detail of her features when she was happy.

“I think that works.”

“Me too,” Billie’s voice was considerably softer, now. Brown eyes moved to hers, almond in shape from smiling. Billie Dean smiled back and reached to caress one of Wilhemina’s cheeks with her free hand. They stared at each other. “I think my grandma would have loved you,” she said after what seemed to be ages.

With a frown reaching her features, Venable licked her suddenly dry lips. “How so?” she asked, voice as soft as Billie’s.

With a small shrug, Billie Dean now played with a lock of red hair. “I just know she would.” Billie’s grandmother had been the only person to believe in her when she said she could contact the other side—and to really believe her, not only after she began getting recognized. Granted, Billie Dean had gotten her gift from someone, and that someone had been her grandmother. I miss her. “She was the first one I opened up to about my sexuality… the first one I told about my gift… she would have loved you,” she repeated.

Blinking softly, Venable found herself a little lost on the emotions that invaded her. How was it like to have someone you could trust like that? But also… how was it like to lose someone like that? Wilhemina would usually roll her eyes and ignore the subject when people started talking about their family, for it was too painful. But Billie Dean’s family seemed worth the pain. “I’m sure she was lovely.” If Billie talked that highly about her, Venable had no reasons to believe otherwise. I feel weird.

“She was.” A small smile touched Billie Dean’s lips. “I can see her as clear as day, crocheting you a purple sweater… hugging you so tightly your arms would hurt.” Billie chuckled faintly, eyes far away. “She would love to talk to you about wine… about books, or art, or anything you wanted to talk about. She would love your hair… and how you smell, and how you carry yourself…”

Venable gulped softly. Billie Dean’s words carried so much adoration, yet so much pain… she had never seen her like that. Yet, Wilhemina herself grew with new emotions once again, and she wondered how to deal with them, what to do with them. She tried picturing a woman who could be Billie’s grandmother, but all she could think about were the old ladies who locked her at her bedroom when it was bedtime. Someone so important to Billie Dean certainly wouldn’t be like that. Her chest grew tight—but not because of anxiety, this time. But because of something she didn’t know.

“She really would have loved you,” Billie repeated once again, thus breaking Venable’s train of thoughts. She blinked once and let go of Wilhemina’s hair, leaning closer to kiss her on the forehead. I’m not ready to talk about her yet. Billie Dean didn’t know why she had brought her grandmother up, out of nowhere. She thought about her every single day, but the wound was still not healed enough. And she didn’t want to bring their mood down, for they already had quite a lot on their plate. Shaking the nostalgia off, Billie pulled away and smiled at Wilhemina, whom stared at her with eyes as wide and concentrated as a puppy’s. She’s adorable. “I’m starting to grow hungry…”

A/N: I'd like to thank everyone who's still interested in this very much close to my heart story and everyone who's been rooting for me and for everything going on in my life. Things have not been easy, and I've been thinking and wishing that I could just sit down and write, but I just... couldn't. I'm back now though, hopefully for good. Thank you, once again. I don't plan on letting that story go any time soon x.

Change of subjects. Venable supposed Billie Dean would open up more when she felt ready. Doing her best to shift her internal dynamics, she nodded and leaned to peck her lips once. How would my grandmother be like? She would never find out… she would never know if her family would have loved Billie Dean, if her mother would have been happy for her, if her father would have grown protective. I’m alone. She knew that, but being reminded of it was a different story. “We can order.” Clearing her throat in order to clear her mind, Wilhemina reached for her phone inside her pocket. Billie Dean snuggled closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, caressing it. I’m glad she has a family.

“Do you mind if we eat something other than McDonald’s?” Billie asked softly, hesitantly.

“Not at all. I was going to ask you that same question, actually.” A chuckle left Venable’s lips. She opened the delivery app and slowly began to scroll down the many options there.

Billie Dean smiled and leaned closer, eyes on the screen. “What about some pasta?” Venable hummed. Pasta sounded good. “There’s this restaurant I always order from.” Gently, Billie reached to touch on the screen; her nail produced a tiny sound as it made contact with the glass. “They have the most delicious red sauce.”

“You know I won’t argue with you over food recommendations,” Wilhemina teased, trying to lift the somber atmosphere off of herself. It worked, for Billie Dean laughed in a way that got her mind thinking about nothing but the way that woman beside her managed to be so damn majestic.

“I hope I won’t let you down this time.” Honey eyes moved to brown ones.

Wilhemina offered her a tiny smile. “You couldn’t.” It was true, and it was also scary. Not now.

Humming lovingly, Billie looked down at the screen again. “I usually go for their spaghetti with meatballs. They also have those delicious breadsticks that taste heavenly with the sauce.”

“That’s perfect.”

“Would you like me to order?”

Venable nodded. She handed her phone to Billie Dean and leaned on her shoulder to watch the screen. Billie Dean bit her inner cheek, holding back her grin as she began to tap down on the mobile. “Do they have anything sweet?” How funny was it that ever since starting to work at Billie Dean Howard & Co. Wilhemina found herself craving sweets in a way she had never done before? Sweets had never been much of a part in her life.

“A few pies.” Swiftly, Billie clicked on the options. She slowly scrolled down. “Their pecan one is delicious.”

Venable was about to agree to it when she saw there was cheesecake on the menu. “Have you ever tried their cheesecake?”

“Not really. We can though, if you’d like.”

Wilhemina nodded. “It’s my favorite.”

“Really?” Honey eyes moved to brown ones once again. Venable smiled a little. She did offer me some cheesecake last week. “I’ll keep that in mind.”A soft blush coated Wilhemina’s cheeks. Billie Dean took notice of it to herself and looked back at the screen. “They have strawberry, grape and blueberry. Which one would you like?”

“I personally prefer grape, but anything else is fine.”

“Grape it is, then.” Billie quickly placed their order, holding back the urge to complain about the fact that Wilhemina was paying for everything. The subject didn’t even cross Venable’s mind, if she were being honest, for the simple fact that Billie Dean had quickly gotten them grape cheesecake was enough to melt her heart in a strange way; she didn’t even question it, she simply got them what Wilhemina had said she liked more. Such a small act, but so damn sweet in nature… Venable wondered if Billie even realized how much she managed to enchant people. Handing the phone back to Wilhemina, Billie Dean leaned back against the couch, arm still wrapped around Venable’s shoulders. “It should be here in about forty-five minutes.”

Wilhemina hummed as she set her phone aside. With both of her hands free, she reached for Billie’s free one and tangled their fingers, slowly playing with them as she looked down at their hands. Will she ever be bothered by the fact I have no family? Like it or not, Venable would never be able to introduce Billie Dean to a mother or a father. I’ve never stopped to think about it before. Her relationship with Lisa had been so different she wondered if it could even compare.

Lost in thought, Venable didn’t realize the way honey eyes were so concentrated on her, analyzing every single feature of her beautiful face. Billie still wondered how could she have not realized just how utterly gorgeous Wilhemina was from the very first time they saw one another. The memories came crashing inside her brain, and Billie Dean couldn’t help but let out a faint chuckle at how different things were, now. Past Billie Dean would have never guessed.

The sound that left Billie’s lips pulled Venable away from her mind. She blinked once and looked at Billie Dean. “What is it?” She asked softly, small smile on her lips.

Shaking her head, Billie smiled a little more. “I was just thinking back to when we first met… to how different everything was.”

“Oh.” What a change of thoughts. Venable nodded. “Indeed.”

“I was so… intrigued by you.”

“Intrigued?” A questioning fiery eyebrow raised up.

Billie nodded. She licked her lips as she thought about how to best articulate her words. “You were so… different. You are different.” The frown in Wilhemina’s features seemed to grow. Billie Dean’s lower lip got caught between her pearl teeth for a moment. “The way you’re so true to yourself… not bending your head down to anyone. It’s different.”

Venable had never stopped to really think of herself that way. “I suppose.”

Billie nodded. Her fingers caressed Wilhemina’s, as well as her other hand on her shoulder. “I mean it mostly about how you’ve always treated me. I was just someone else to you.”

Wilhemina couldn’t help but let out a small irony filled chuckle. “You’re anything but just someone else to me,” she said before she could process the words.

Billie Dean’s smile now reached her eyes. Her chest fluttered just enough for her to want to kiss that woman again. “I mean back then… you’ve never kissed my ass.” Well now that’s just weird. Billie held back the stupid childish giggle that desperately fought for freedom inside herself.

I’d like to kiss her ass now. Wilhemina gulped. Come on. “I know what you mean… and I’m glad for what it means to you.”

Billie nodded. “I desperately wanted to get to know you.”

“Was I that mysterious?”

“Oh yeah,” Billie Dean teasingly raised her eyebrows. “Everyone wanted to get to know you.” Venable let out a scoff. “It’s true!” Billie protested. “I know Emma did.” Brown eyes stared deeply into honey ones. Billie Dean raised a hand in protest, although her cheeks began to blush. Was it a good idea to make that joke? Both knew it hadn’t really been a joke.

“Ugh,” Venable groaned. The reminder that Emma existed—and in consequence, all of their current situation—was definitely not something Wilhemina wanted right now. But also… was that a hint of jealousy in Billie’s voice? Overwhelmed, Venable hid her face against Billie Dean’s neck, which caused a loud laugh to leave Billie’s lips and a hand to tangle in fiery hair. “Don’t even remind me of her,” she murmured.

“I’m sorry, it just slipped out.” To hear Wilhemina saying she didn’t even want to be reminded of Emma was, in all honesty, an amazing feeling. Am I…? She was. Billie Dean knew that.

Wilhemina groaned again before looking back up. She licked her lips as she thought. Thinking of Emma has always been anxiety inducing. It was rage inducing now, too. “I still can’t believe she’s said the things she did to you… who does she think she is?”

“Someone who’s in love with you,” Billie Dean said quietly.

“She’s not—she’s not in love with me,” Venable quickly said. Honey eyes kept on looking at her. Wilhemina frowned. Is she? No, it didn’t make sense. She shook her head. “It’s not—it was not like it is with you.”

Billie held back the ginormous grin that wanted to grace her features once again for the sake of the subject they were talking about. It’s not like it is with you. It was a sort of relief to hear that. “She does like you, that’s for sure.”

The worry dimple between her eyebrows kept on intensifying itself. Venable sucked on her lower lip. “Well, yes, but… in love? I don’t think so.”

“Why?”

Wilhemina shrugged. That’s a stupid question. “For starters, it’s me, and then—then how could she be?”

Exactly. It’s you. “Just like I am.”

Venable shook her head again, deciding that it definitely didn’t make any sense. Things between her and Emma had never been as intimate, as comfortable and as personal as things with Billie Dean. How could Emma be in love with her? No, it just didn’t make sense. She wasn’t in love with Emma, after all. “I just… no.”

Dwelling on the subject would cause more harm than good. The dimple between Wilhemina’s brows kept on growing and growing, and so Billie lightly squeezed her hand. “I just meant that maybe she was scared of losing you.”

“She’s never had me,” Venable said, quite coldly. But it was true. Giving herself to someone—anyone—was a huge step for her; one she doubted she could even manage to take in her lifetime. Billie Dean has a part of me. No, she did not, not yet. Billie hadn’t seen her body bare, after all. And still… I do feel like she’s got at least a fraction of me. She sucked on her lower lip again.

Billie kept her eyes on Wilhemina, paying attention to her every movement, even the slightest ones. She’s bothered. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Wilhie. I’m sor—“

“No,” Venable cut her. Billie Dean closed her mouth. Wilhemina squeezed her hand lovingly, offering her a small smile. “You didn’t… I just—I had never… never stopped to think about it. About that, about how she saw me…” Grimacing, she shook her head again. “It doesn’t matter, she still didn’t have the right to treat you like that.” Logic had always been Venable’s best friend.

Billie had definitely understood that love was a hard subject for Venable. She nodded, caressing Wilhemina’s hand back in order to bring her some comfort. “I agree… but it’s over, now.” Is it? Billie Dean’s stomach dropped at the reminder that Emma knew—or rather, thought she knew—about Terry. She’ll destroy me to Venable. Billie had to think about how she’d approach that subject, but not now, not today. They had had so much turmoil over the past weeks, at least a weekend of peace was more than deserved. “Don’t think about her. She’s not here.”

“But she will be on Monday,” Wilhemina murmured. She leaned her head against the backrest, eyes glued on Billie Dean’s perfect ones. Their faces were close again.

“Then we’ll deal with that on Monday. I’ll be there with you.” Disguising her own worries was a hard task, but Billie knew she had to do it for Venable. Wilhemina seemed to hesitate, but nodded. With a small smile, Billie Dean leaned closer and kissed her lips softly, lingering there. As she was about to pull away, a hand reached to caress her cheek, holding her in place. Billie’s own palm now pulled Venable closer by the shoulder, caressing it. The kiss slowly grew firmer, and inside Wilhemina’s mind, the word ‘we’ passed through nonstop; they were a ‘we’ now. How good did it sound? But also… how would that ‘we’ be on Monday, when they were at a public setting, at a work setting, at a life setting?

“Billie,” Venable whispered softly, thus breaking their kiss. Billie Dean pulled away just enough to stare at dark brown eyes; she found a hint of fear there. Wilhemina nibbled on her lower lip, fingers nervously caressing Billie’s cheek. “On Monday… are we still gonna be we?”

Blonde eyebrows threatened to draw closer together. Billie Dean took a second to understand Venable’s question, but when she did, her own face softened up. She nodded, certain and firmly. “Of course, Wilhie.” She licked her lips as she thought, and then, hesitantly, began to speak again. “It… it took me so long to finally have you. I’m not letting go.”

I’m not letting go. The corners of Wilhemina’s eyes clinked. She nodded, and then she leaned to kiss that woman again because how did she manage to get so fucking lucky? I don’t deserve her. But she was there and she was kissing her and she was holding her so damn lovingly she feared she would melt away in Billie’s arms. I love her. I love her. I love her. She kissed Billie Dean a bit firmer in order to stop herself from having the possibility of letting it slip, and Billie’s arm around her shoulders pulled her even closer, causing her back to lift off of the couch and Billie Dean’s arm to slip lower; instantly, Venable leaned back, but with the hand tangled in Billie’s, she pulled her along. Billie Dean snuggled closer, arm letting go of Wilhemina’s shoulders for the sake of the position they were on. The kisses kept on growing firmer, and Billie Dean’s body now bent weirdly. So she shifted on the couch in order to rearrange her hips, which caused Venable to realize what was going on. Gently, she pulled away once again, eyes on honey ones. “You’re not comfortable, are you?” she whispered with a chuckle.

Chuckling back, Billie Dean shook her head. “No, but it is worth it to keep kissing you.”

Letting out a shy laugh, Wilhemina bit her lower lip. “Straddle me again?”

Billie’s stomach twisted. She nodded and moved to do so, legs on each side of Venable’s body. They had done that same thing that morning, in bed, and later in the vanity, but it was still new. Very new. She smiled down at Wilhemina, feeling as hands caressed her hips. Their breaths mingled. “Much better,” she breathed out.

Venable nodded slowly. “Much better,” she repeated. Brown eyes fell down to those rosy lips in front of her, but before she could move forward they already collided against her own. Wilhemina sighed, hands taking in every single curve of Billie Dean’s waist and hips, feeling the way the rough material of her jeans clung to her skin. Stupid jeans. Venable didn’t know what had gotten into her. And then she remembered that time Emma had straddled her in the couch of her house, and how different it had felt to make out with her; with Billie, time simply stopped. Against Wilhemina’s shoulders, near her head, Billie Dean rested her forearms and caressed her cheeks with her thumbs, cupping the fat there as if she were holding the most precious piece of art in the universe. Their tongues had long ago met, dancing like velvet against one another. Just to tease, Billie nibbled on Venable’s lower lip and pulled on it softly, a small smirk on her lips. “Oh—“ Wilhemina instantly gasped. Her cheeks turned such a dark shade of red it was nearly purple. Honey eyes turned darker as they stared at her, and Billie Dean caught her own lower lip between those same teeth, now. Venable gulped. Her lower stomach trembled, as well as her hands that kept on exploring Billie’s back.

“Do you like it?” Billie Dean asked in a near whisper, voice dropping in a way Venable hadn’t heard before. Wilhemina nodded again. I want to devour her, the thought passed through Billie’s mind as fast as lightening. She was the one to gulp now.

“I—I l-like it when y-you straddle me, too.” Venable’s voice trembled from something she couldn’t quite point to; something nice, very.

“Me too.” Billie Dean’s smirk grew a bit more. Her eyes fell down to Wilhemina’s lips before coming back up at dark ones. Venable instinctively pulled her closer. “Can I ask you something?” In the state she was at, Wilhemina doubted she had the power to ever deny Billie Dean anything; she nodded. Billie’s cheeks were the ones to tint now, but only faintly. “Do you like those jeans?”

Fuck. Billie Dean had caught her staring. Of course she had. Now, she turned purple. What an irony. Her eyes fell down as she struggled to keep them on Billie’s, but when she heard that same woman letting out a small chuckle, she looked back up again, lips curving up. What a funny contrast from just a few weeks ago; she would be feeling absolutely ashamed had that happened back then. But it wouldn’t have, for they weren’t that intimate, for they weren’t them yet. Shyly, Venable nodded. “It’s n-not nice to stare… I k-know. My apologies.”

My apologies. Why was Wilhemina so damn classy, even when teasing her? And why did Billie Dean find it so damn sexy? “It is if what you’re staring at is already yours…”

Already yours. Venable blinked once. Is she mine? Did she actually have Billie? What were they? Are we… girlfriends? They were both adults, for fuck’s sake. Did adults even call each other’s partners girlfriends or boyfriends? Wilhemina found it to be so childish… but the concept left her chest tight with joy. She licked her lips, eyes still on honey ones as she tried to find something to say. Nothing came to mind. Billie Dean was about to cut the silence when there was a knock at the door, thus cutting their spell. Both looked away, and Billie carefully got up. “I’ll go—I’ll go get it.” Venable cleared her throat and reached for her cane to get up.

Billie Dean nodded, watching as Wilhemina made her way to the door. Taking a deep breath, she only now realized how fast her heart was beating. Oof. Billie’s lower stomach still burned. She took another deep breath, hand smothering her blonde curls down in order to make herself more presentable. When Venable walked back in, they both followed to the dinner table. “Smells delicious,” she said softly, reaching to help Wilhemina take the containers off of the bag.

Just like Billie Dean, Venable’s whole body seemed to have been engulfed in flames. She forced her mind to go back into place. At the words, she nodded. “Indeed it does.” She reached for the now empty bag. “I’ll go grab the plates and silverware.”

“Let me help you.” Billie followed to the kitchen along with Wilhemina, cheesecake in hand. As they got there, Venable put the bag away and reached for the plates. “Give it to me.” Billie Dean extended her arms once she let the cheesecake go. Slowly but surely, her nerves began to calm down.

“Thank you,” Venable said softly. She now reached for the silverware and for their glasses. “What would you like to drink? I have juice, water, tea…”

“Juice is perfect.”

Wilhemina nodded and moved to grab it, as well as put the dessert into the fridge. They both got back to the living room and set everything down. Sitting face to face, Billie Dean was the one to start opening one of the containers. Venable followed along, heart still a bit faster than usual. Steam raised from the pasta. Billie hummed as she moved to open the container with the breadsticks.

“Looks delicious,” Wilhemina leaned closer. “That’s definitely a hidden talent of yours.”

“Choosing good food?” Billie Dean chuckled as she grabbed a breadstick and took a bite. Venable nodded, carefully serving the both of them. “Well, I’ll take it.”

“You should,” Wilhemina smiled. She pushed a plate closer to Billie before grabbing a fork.

“Thank you.” Taking another bite of the breadstick, Billie Dean reached for a fork and quickly swirled some pasta on it. She took a bite, eyes closing as the taste invaded her mouth. Of course it was as delicious as she remembered it to be, and maybe Venable really was onto something.

Wilhemina couldn’t help but hum as well, reaching for a napkin just to make sure her chin would be free of sauce. “This is wonderful.” Carefully, she reached for a breadstick and dipped it into her dish. Honey eyes watched her lovingly. Venable took a bite.

“Approved?”

“More than so.”

Billie Dean’s smile grew as she got back to eating.

It was interesting, how even a simple task as much as eating felt much more meaningful with Billie around. It caused Wilhemina to wonder what the future held for her, and even though anxiety tried to break it here and there and make things blue, Venable focused only in coral for now; only for a meal, she could manage.

The pasta and breadsticks were soon over, and as Billie Dean followed Wilhemina to the kitchen once again and they loaded the dishwasher together, Billie tried remembering when was the last time she had enjoyed doing chores so much. When was the last time she felt excited to do the dishes, to watch a movie, to just sit on a couch and talk… when was the last time life had showed its colors to her? When was the last time life had allowed itself to be purple?

They both got back to the table, cheesecake in hand. Venable carefully cut them each a piece, mouth salivating at the sight of the creamy cheese and the thick jelly.

“Now that I know it is your favorite, I’m nervous for your reaction,” Billie commented softly.

Shaking her head, Wilhemina let a smile escape her lips. “I’m sure I’ll love it just as much as the pasta.”

“Hopefully.” Billie Dean took a first bite; it was not the best cheesecake she had ever had, but it was good enough for herself. I need to find a way of getting her a piece of that gourmet cheesecake I had in Germany. Honey eyes still watched Venable’s every move.

To Wilhemina, the cheesecake was absolutely delicious, even though it couldn’t be considered the best she had ever had, either. Slowly, she savored each note of sweet and sour, crunch and smooth. She nodded. “It’s good.”

“Not the best, though.” Billie took another bite.

“Maybe not the best, but something I’d buy again.”

“I’ve failed, then,” Billie Dean frowned teasingly, which caused laughter to fill the dining room.

“Don’t be dramatic,” Venable said softly once her laugh died down.

Biting her lower lip, Billie kept her smile printed on her lips. “What’s the best cheesecake you’ve ever had?”

With the dimple between her eyebrows, Wilhemina thought. She felt a foot caressing her own underneath the table. Emma’s. She assumed Billie Dean wouldn’t like that answer. “I can’t really choose.”

“But if you had to?”

Don’t make me answer to that. Lying was not something Venable was fond of… but Emma had been a grey cloud over them, and she desperately needed that cloud to go away. “The homemade cheesecake from one of the ladies at the orphanage… it was the first one I’ve ever had, and none other has ever compared.” It was true in more than one way.

Each bit and detail Wilhemina revealed about her past just caused Billie to admire that woman even more. Her chest flushed with something awfully similar to love. “I bet it was delicious.”

Taking another bite, Venable nodded. When had her past become something so trivial to talk about? “I think it’s more of an affection memory than the taste itself… I do remember it being extremely creamy though, even if the ingredients were probably low quality.” They didn’t have money to spend on extras, after all.

“Affection memories are the best kind,” Billie’s words came as soft as melted butter. “How old were you?”