#willalwaysbeagilbertx

lol

Lucy is the only other powerful Bennett witch aside from Bonnie but no one is more important than Bella.

After her first sentence, Stefan believes that will be it--that they don't have to press any further because god, he does not want to say anything about feelings.  Saint Stefan?  Hell yeah, he'd be spilling his heart out on the spot.  Ripper?  That's simply not an option.  Not an easily attained one, anyway.

But then she goes on to describe her dream and something within Stefan coils strangely.  He remembers hating few people in his life.  Katherine, for one.  If Stefan were to say someone had completely fucked him over, he would blurt out her name first, above all.  He's not even sure she will never know how much bitterness he holds against her.  And then there's Klaus, who tore away his freewill with just a few simple words.  There is the extent of his hatred.  

But hating Elena?  Even now, that seems rather...unthinkable.  She's been a friend thus far, has she not?  She's stuck by him, beyond all reason why.  

She keeps going on, or so it seems, and all he hears are those words, grating inside him.  He feels like shrinking away, closing his eyes and maybe the scene before him will be a different one.  But this is real--and he has no idea how to react.  What would Saint Stefan do?  

[Place his hands on her shoulders, shake his head and tell her, "I would never do such a thing.  I do love you--I could never hate you, Elena.  If I ever did something like that, I would never forgive myself."  Perhaps kiss her on the forehead and offer his best smile.  Maybe hug her.  But sometimes he keeps his distance.]

Stefan ignores the fact that he knows exactly what he'd do if he weren't supposed to be ruled by monstrous intent.

"That would never happen," he suddenly blurts out, as if he knows exactly what's in the future.  But, see, the thing is...it won't happen.  Because there's no way he'd let it.

(Because Stefan Salvatore is still the same person, ripper or not.  And that love is carried over.  He knows it.  But ignores it all the same.  It'll get easier, he hopes.)

"I wouldn't..." he frowns, knowing this conversation is already taking a hard toll.  What right does a monster have to say 'I love you'?  "It was a nightmare.  I don't...I don't hate you, Elena."

                It's the other way around.

A thought occurs to him suddenly.  And while he shouldn't ask, he finds himself staring at her with questionable eyes.  His keeps his lips sealed, keeping in the words he wishes to say.  

               Do you love me?  

          Initial reaction?

Eyebrows raised and turning around to face her completely, Stefan's eyes land on none other than Elena Gilbert.  She's standing there, looking as if nothing's wrong.  Of course, that could just be him because inside his head, there's about five billion questions moving at the speed of light.

It's kinda an out of the blue question.  Even for him.  Though, it is Elena.

So he stands there, gazing back at her and tries to form a good answer.  He owes her that, especially with the past few months, ripper tendencies and vanishing all the time.  Monster or not, Stefan still has a strange habit of feeling a sense of obligation to others.  Especially people Saint Stefan had adored.  (Then there's the writing on the wall but, right now, Stefan doesn't want to even think about it.)  

So does he love her?  A ripper can't love.  Or so he's been told.  Lexi beat it into him that the other side of him, the better side, loved and cared for others.  No one really believes a monster can love (or be loved, for that matter).  And that's what everyone considers him as, right?  

Despite all that, the Other Stefan had loved her, nearly unconditionally.  He would have laid his life on the line for her without a second thought.  As long as she smiled and she was fine, Stefan could be more at ease.  And, unfortunately for him, he had been stupidly in love with the Gilbert girl.  Though Stefan wouldn't admit that.  To take on a relationship in the shape he was, Stefan hadn't been willing to even hint.  Probably was obvious enough, but he wouldn't tell.  Now the ripper held those leftover feelings.  Sometimes, Stefan was unsure what to do with them because he truly didn't consider himself that Stefan.   So what did that make him feel?  What would the Other Stefan say?  

                 Yes, of course.  Why would you even ask?

Same person.  Monster and man, he once wrote in his journals, sober from the blood and locked away in darkness.  Yet he was still uncertain.

Shrugging, Stefan gives her a small smirk.  Brushing it off always does feel easier.