Jan 6
There’s a question Mitch Horowitz keeps asking in Daydream Believer that won’t let me go: What do you actually want?
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There’s a question Mitch Horowitz keeps asking in Daydream Believer that won’t let me go: What do you actually want?
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I cannot believe that i put this record off for this long but this is up there with her best work, including this year's fantastic Impossible Light record.
It's hard to find music to personally relate to as a trans autistic lesbian girl that is a little weird and reclusive. It's always been rough approximations, or playing pretend with the self-expression of people way different than me. With this music, even though my experience doesn't map onto the lyrics or Xandra's lived experiences 1:1 (far from it), there's a shared texture, a likeness and a lens through which I can see myself and vicariously feel the catharsis of such self-expression. I can feel it nodding to me. Seeing me.
Most importantly, I think, it leaves me with a desire to create my own.
When I listen to UBOA, I feel like there is space in the world for my feelings to exist as they appear within the context of my being and identity. We as trans and queer people need to drown this world with more noise, more gorgeous ambiance and more uncompromising art.
Read these lyrics and instantly felt a recognition. Didn't need to spin them around in my head, nor dress them up in allegory to feel them. Not all art has to be relatable, of course, but it feels good to just get it, sometimes.
I am constantly trying to communicate something incommunicable, to explain something inexplicable, to tell about something I only feel in my bones and which can only be experienced in those bones.Â
Franz Kafka, “Letters to Milena”
To will liberates, for to will is to create: thus I teach. And you shall learn solely in order to create.
Freidrich Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra, 1883-5 (via reinert)