WHO: Alexa Levy, Erin Walsh, Izzy Connelly, and Joss King WHAT:Â Alexa and Izzy go into the jungle in search of Erin and Joss. WHEN: Day 16 NOTE: For future reference.
Alexa she wasn't sure how long they'd been walking or where exactly they'd ended up, but it felt like they'd been gone for hours and like it would take hours to come back. she was starting to lose hope in finding them, at least today. "i think, maybe we should just...try again tomorrow? like, will we even make it back before dark? shane was very very specific about being back before dark like, that was sort of...sort of like a point a. like, rule numero uno...ya know?" she was breathing fast, herstep uneven and jumpy over the messy ground half of which could not be seen. she could have easily stepped on a snake at any point. or a gator, or a tropical bear cub. "erin! joss!" she screams for the hundredth time, until something grabs her attention. "d-did you hear that?"
Izzy izzy glanced anxiously over at lex. yes, it was getting dark; izzy was pretty sure they'd been walking for four hours, maybe a little more. it wasn't dark now, but it would almost definitely be pitch black by the time they got back to class. but - okay, yeah, shane said to be back by dark. but. izzy wasn't sure she could stomach the idea of walking back into camp without jocelyn and erin - without at least being able to affirm that they were okay, if nothing else. "uh - uh, yeah. but... like, maybe we can just look for like, thirty more minutes? i mean, just go a little further? if that's okay by you?" she offered nervously, mouth twisting into a frown as she looked around. yes, she was tired - so fucking tired, and they'd been traveling uphill, and her lungs were beginning to ache just a little. but she wasn't ready to go back yet. that's what she was thinking as she joined in calling after erin and jocelyn - until she heard the noise, some kind of whooshing, a snapping, something kind of ominous, too loud to be the girls they were looking for. not human enough. she glanced over at lex with bright, frightened eyes, trying to remain calm, because, look, maybe it was nothing. "um... yeah. maybe we should just... hang back for a second."
Alexa she nods at izzy, agreeing to thirty more minutes out here which would ultimately not take away that much of their time. "god, as much as i hope to find them i hope they're not really out here. it's scary as fuck...can't imagine it dark..." she shivers, feeling like a total pussy but at the same time like they were close. really close. as the fear of the unknown is added a sound and that sound grows louder and izzy's voice quieter, she can hear only the beating of her own heart growing stronger in her ears. fuck, they were about to die. they were about to get eaten by lions or pumas or whatever the fuck the tropical version of them shits was. "i'm not ready to die..." she whispers, panic rising in her voice with every word. "i did not survive deep diving to be eaten by fucking lions, na-ah, too young, too pretty, look at me izzy i'm at my prime like, i'm not..." she does shut her mouth as the branches snap even closer and when she feels something touch her leg, whatever it was, a branch, dash of wind, whatever, she bolts ahead. "run, izzy, run!" without even looking back, she can hear something marching after her, something heavy and she screams as loud as her lungs will allow. "fuuuck!" not the pig, not the fucking pig. she had never ran so fast in her whole life, shed felt like she was flying. screams came one after the other and she hoped izzy had stayed back safe, behind the ugly beast. then when she thinks she can no longer hear it, she looks over her shoulder just a bit and the next thing she knows is the floor and pain rushing through her. this scream was different, deeper. it was all so sudden that she did not know where the beast had gone, if izzy was here, if she was imagining the voice of erin and joss coming through. all she could feel was her ankle, totally fucked. and tears coming through.
Izzy izzy shrugged helpfully. "they're somewhere out here; we know that. let's just hope they're somewhere safe, and, like... not too far away," she offered, taking a protective step closer to the other girl when she heard the fear in her voice. "hey," she said softly, "we'll be okay," she promised, but she didn't know that for a fact, and she was pretty sure her voice had come out a little thin, and afraid, and unconvincing. as the noise gets louder, though, and as lex keeps talking, izzy's eyes grow wide and her face grows pale, heart thrumming in her chest, which is constricting painfully now, breath catching with anxiety as she backs up a little, praying thoughtlessly, just a wordless begging in her mind as the noise grows closer, and closer. she puts one finger to her lips - if lex wants to stay in her prime, she needs to be quiet - and then, OH, SHIT, oh shit, oh, fuck - the fucking pig, the fucking pig, why didn't they bring a weapon? she watches in horror, glued to her spot like the ineffectual coward she knows she is as the pig chases after lex, and she sees white, and feels that sick sensation of fear, no, no, no, please no, and she's yelling without even hearing herself until the pig - that fucking pig, jesus christ - darts off to the left, and there's that one second of relief, that beautiful, cool relief, and izzy lets out a tearless sob for just a moment before she hears lex scream, that sick, guttural scream, and then izzy is running for her. "lex!" she calls out, breathless, running as fast as she could ever manage, and she basically trips onto her knees beside the other, dirt against flesh, vision swimming with tears, "are you okay? oh my god, what happened, are you okay?"
Erin It feels like her heart has jumped up her throat and was sitting directly between her ears. Chest rising and falling quickly with her rapid breathing as she tried her best to stay as quiet as a mouse in their hiding place. She's not sure when she grabbed Joss' hand, or if it was Joss that grabbed her's, but she doesn't let go. They'd heard the voices calling out their names for the better part of the afternoon, trying to stay ahead of themâ until they'd finally had to hide because they couldn't outrun a boar as well. Then it's just listening. Listening desperately. Had they managed to get away? That thought, and any thought of getting away disappeared when she heard Lex's scream. Not because it was closer but because it was Lex and it sounded like she was hurt, badly. And no matter how hard Erin had tried to convince herself over the last two days that she didn't care about the Eves because none of them cared about her, it was all a big fat lie. She cared a lot, like a stupid amount all things considered. She looked to Joss, but her decision was already made by the time their eyes locked. She let go of her hand and moved towards the scream. She moved quickly, and soon enough her eyes landed on Lex and Izzy. Both on the ground, if they weren't crying already they looked like they were about to. Without even thinking she hurried towards them, " What happened? " She asked worriedly as she approached, hands holding onto trees as she passed them so she wouldn't lose her balance herself. " What happened? Are you guys okay? " She asked again, trying to take in what she was seeing but she really wasn't really sure what that was.
Joss Joss tried to focus on anything but her racing heart or the anxiety that filled the pit of her stomach like bile rising into her throat. The warmth of Erin's hand in hers, the fabric that covered the back of Erin's shoulders, how would she describe the colour if she had to, how many stitches could she see in the seems. Anything but the thought that at any given moment they might be dragged back to camp to face the consequences of their departure and worse, face the boys that had inspired it. Then, suddenly, Erin had broken away from Joss and without thinking about it, the blonde followed suit, her legs carrying her so quickly that her mind had no time to protest. Overwhelmed by the circumstances; the sudden appearance of Izzy and Lex, the sound of screams and what must have been the boar that had plowed through the Adams days before, she stood still, in silence, allowing Erin to take the lead.
Alexa She mightâve screamed more than she had to and realised it too late so she thought it best to keep up the act. She was still in pain, it just wasnât AS bad as her scream would have implied. That was, of course, until she saw the blood. On her foot, her hands, everywhere. Was it the adrenaline? Was she actually dying? She screamed some more, she felt dizzy. âIâm gonna die. Im gonna die oh my GodâŠâ she felt the panic coming on, and even the relief of Erin and Joss did not much soften that blow. She looked at each of the girls, like a cry for help, like they were supposed to just know what to do. Fear had ran through her and her whole body shook like a willow tree during cold winter winds. âIm okay Iâm okay Iâm okay, it was t-the pig the pig it ran and itâŠI tried to and then it, and then I f-fell and I swear there wasâŠthereâŠit went that way, what if it comes back? What if?â Suddenly she felt something else, like anger of sorts. They wouldnât have been here, they would not have even gone out of the two had not just abandoned them. âW-where the hell, where have you been!? We were all, we were worried SICK! A-and weâŠâ she tried to get up and leaning onto the tree but the sharp pain rushed through her foot again and she fell back on the ground with a deep moan. She was exhausted, she was absolutely fucking exhausted. Of the walking and diving and this whole fucking island. None of this was real, it cannot be real. âIâm happy to see you.â She closes her eyes, laying down on the floor as she focuses on breathing. âW-we came for youâŠIâm so happy youâre okayâŠâ
Izzy fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. amelia had called it their mom's 'final girl face.' ( she gets all dead behind the eyes and her lips get all thin, iz. ) was that how izzy looked now? "you are not," she said sternly, stripping down to her bra and spreading the shirt out between her hands, wrapping lex's leg gently, almost mechanically, without a single thought in her head for those few seconds. "you're okay, you're okay," she cooed softly, paying a great deal of attention to make sure she compressed it right. shit, shit, shit. "do you think it's broken?" she asked lex, voice even and calm. "or maybe just sprained, or just bruised?" she continued, one hand comfortingly on lex's shoulder, heart beating wildly in her chest despite her demeanor, which was as close to put together as anyone could manage at a time like this. it took lex yelling at them for izzy to really register that erin and joss were there; she'd been so focused for a moment that the rest of the world had bled out. "hey," she said to lex, soft but stern, "stop talking." she hoped that her tone would imply that talking was bad for lex's hurt leg or something, but really, she just didn't want lex chewing them out. her eyes flared in alarm when lex tried to get up, and izzy did what she could to support the other when her ankle seemed to buckle under her, but she wans't nearly strong enough, so it was more like she was a soft place to land. "hey, don't," she instructed. shit, shit, shit. if lex couldn't stand on it - now, four hours away from camp? fuck, fuck, fuck. finally, breathlessly, she turned to joss and erin, and offered them a weak grin, face sweaty and pale, still panting a little. "hey," she said, all she could muster for the second. i'll deal with them later, and deal with this now. one step forward, two steps back, right? she leaned down, making eye contact with lex."lex, look at me. how bad does it hurt? 1 to 10?"
Erin In the world's most overused metaphor: it's like a rollercoaster. But a totally shitty one. Literally none of it was thrilling or exciting. It just went from one horrible loop to a terrible moment of suddenly going backwards to another loop. She's crouched by Lex but not as close as Izzy and providing no real help other than being ready to move should she fall again. As it seems she settles on the ground again, and Izzy seems to have it handled, Erin stands. Taking a step back so she's closer to Joss. Thinking about how she should have just stayed holding her hand instead of stepping out just to be yelled at. Lied to. Ignored. Jesus. She cast a glance to Joss, a small apology in her eyes. She wonders if Joss had been thinking the same thing she had, and that's why she moved, or if it was simply because Erin had. She looked back to Izzy and Lex when the former greeted themâ offering a momentary awkward pursed smile and small lift of hand as greeting in return. She wanted to rewind the clock by like two minutes, at least. Or she wanted to be the sort of person who could just walk away from this situation, even after entering it willingly. But she simply wasn't.
Alexa she couldnât think much, which wasnât that uncommon, but considering the situation it was a bit more to the extreme side of not being able to think at fucking all. And when Izzy took her shirt off to help, her brain had a total and utter freeze and she didnât process the questions until moments later when she decided to scream again as the shirt touched her leg. âFuuuuuck fuck! I am fucked itâs so fucking broken look at it! Itâs disgusting!â She now starts to cry, genuinely cry as her teary eyes look over Erin and Joss, hoping breaking limbs over them was actually worth it and she would not have to fame passing out. âIt hurts 25. It hurts so bad I just wanna go back, letâs go backâŠguys, we came to get you! T-the boys are gone they like disappeared, y-youâre safe to come back now. Everyone wants you back, we all want you back. We almost likeâŠwe almost died getting the black box and we got it andâŠâ she trails off pushing her hair back as she look at Izzy hoping the other would follow along in convincing. âJ-Jude smacked her head we donât even know if sheâll be fine and Shane, I mean maybe itâs best you go see for yourselves ya know? We need you guys, we need you back.â
Izzy jesus christ. on a scale from one to bad, this is bad, right? she pushes herself up off of the ground and blinks hard, turning away for a second to collect herself, taking her inhaler from her pocket, shaking it, and taking a puff. with a long, shaky breath, she nods to herself for a minute, deciding to collect herself, deciding the quell the way she feels that anxiety pooling in her chest. one thing at a time, connelly. one foot in front of the other. first things first: lex. izzy turns back to the others, putting on a brave face and placing one hand comfortingly on the crown of lex's head. "hey, you're okay - it's not disgusting. just..." she said, leaning down again to peek beneath the wrap. was it broken? she had no way of telling, not like this. "just don't put weight on it, okay? you need to rest. and... maybe chill out a little. your blood pressure," she advised - really, she just didn't want herself or the others feeding off of lex's hysterical energy. then, she turned to the others, taking another long, even breath, so calm, so cool. my name is izzy connelly, and welcome to my tedtalk. "what she's trying to say is that shane sent us. so, uh, yesterday, clarke and oona went to give the boys back their axe, but - well, they're... like, gone. like, no sign of them, anywhere, and that's clarke's brother, so they looked everywhere. so we came to come tell you that, okay? and shane told me to tell you," she said, pivoting towards joss, "that - uh, 'magic happened and the boys vanished.' she said you'd know what that mean. and she said that she'll burn your hoodie if you don't come back with us - i'm just the messenger, you get that, right? - oh, and she said that needs you here. plus some profanity, but, uh..." she trailed off. yeah, still too scared of joss to give that a try. she could fill in the blanks herself.
Joss Joss twisted her mouth uncomfortably as Lex berated them. She supposed she had considered the idea that the others would be mad at them for leaving if they ever saw each other again but experiencing it in reality was another thing altogether and it made her stomach hurt a little bit. She felt useless as Izzy assisted Lex and even more so when Erin dropped to her knees to help out. The best she could offer was a comforting back rub or a hand to hold but Lex had snapped at them moments beforehand and Joss wasn't quite sure what to believe; whether Lex was furious as her first words would indicate, or relieved as she had assured them in the words that followed. Joss was lost. More lost than she had been wandering the uncharted jungle in the days beforehand. As soon as Lex started to cry, however, any reservations that Joss had had swiftly disappeared and she dropped to her knees beside her, "It's alright, it's going to be alright, we can fix this," she promised with confidence she didn't deserve to have. "I know it hurts," she assured her, rubbing the other girl's back affectionately, "-but it's going to be fine," she added, observing the injury more intently now. Completely torn out of the situation by Izzy's utterance, Joss furrowed her brow at the mention of Shane's words. "She said that?" it was clear that she had indeed said that, how else would Izzy have known? "What- wait, what do you mean? Why did she say that? Why isn't she here?"
Alexa She felt so strangely comforted by all hands on her, especially when Joss jumped in too. It was like being in hot girl heaven and she regretted not losing a foot sooner. Because surely that was about to happen, right? It's not like they had an orthopedic surgeon on-site to fix her all nice and neat. It was dreadful, she had such lovely feet. But then again there was Izzy, almost topless, pressing on that ankle. Erin, with her usual 'get down to business' attitude, and Joss, God bless, with just doing best she can to comfort her even if she didn't deserve it. She didn't, after all, she didn't deserve jack fucking shit from Joss. Not after being such a shit friend. And she knew she'd been a shit friend, she knew based on the reaction Shane's name alone had prompted. After all, here she was, practically dead for the second time in two days and Joss' eyes only filled with that...spark at the mention of Shane. She was jealous, granted, but not jealous enough to flip out over it no, she had just gotten her back and she wasn't gonna fuck that up. "I'll be fine? M-maybe, but...I need help getting back? What if I lose my foot? I can't...I shouldn't walk right now I don't...I feel dizzy...m-maybe some, some water?" she sighs dramatically, hoping no one would notice and grateful for the acting lessons she truly did fucking suck at. But she pretended most of her life anyway, to be happy, to be present, to be popular. So this was that, just another instagram story, an act for an ultimate good fucking goal. "S-Shane really wants you back, she really does she...she couldn't come because she...well, she can't really walk either, right Iz? She injured her uh....hip, yeah hip..." she looks over at Izzy, stern look but very very short. "Anyways, she sent us out for you a-and you should see how sad she's been since you guys left just...come back? Please?"
Izzy these were dramatics, weren't they? they had to be, right? how could lex pivot from i'll be fine to what if i lose my foot in a matter of seconds? izzy couldn't even tell how freaked out she should be. with amelia, she always knew, but with lex, well, it was just a total mystery. still, she dug a water bottle out of her backpack, uncapping it and handing it to lex. "you're not going to lose your foot," she said gently, "you just hurt it. you've just gotta rest, okay? just rest it." okay, that was the R in RICE, sure, and izzy had handled the compressing as best as she could; ice was pretty much a no-go, though, and they could deal with elevation when they got back. and then lex just starts lying, and izzy turns to blink at her, shaking her head a little before pinching the bridge of her nose, ever beleaguered. jesus christ! well, if she could lie, she much not be in that bad of shape. "that's not - no - what? i - lex, please," she begged, before turning back to joss and erin and giving them a weak shrug, as if to say: i just work here, man. not to throw lex under the bus, but come on. "um - no, shane, her hip is fine, she just - she decided to hang back, look after camp, make sure jude was doing okay, i think. and, i mean, she seemed... pretty upset, and i think maybe - like, it would have been hard for her to go out here if she couldn't find you," she said - more of a guess than anything, maybe projecting a little, but still. "but... the boys are gone, and shane - pretty much everyone, really - wanted us to go and get you and see if you'd come back. i guess - i mean, shane could probably explain it better, or clarke or oona, but, i mean... it's like they were never there, you know?" but, of course, they didn't know, because izzy barely knew, because it was absolutely unbelievable; still, izzy hoped they understood, if not from knowing izzy, then from her tone, that she would never lie about something like that.
Erin There's something completely off about all of this, Erin thinks. Between Izzy and Lex not being able to settle on a story and Izzy seeming to convey some sort of code from Shane to Joss but Shane not being here. It doesn't feel right. Not to mention the bold claim that the boys were gone. What did that even mean? It all gave her a stomach acheâ or made the one she had already grow worse. That was probably more accurate. " I don't understand, " She said, because it simply didn't make sense. None of it. She shook her hand out before pushing stray hairs out of her face, brows furrowed as she tried to align the information she had just been given. " What do you mean they're gone? " She asked, looking to Izzy when she asked. Between the two, she was certainly more reliable. And, to her memory, Izzy had never made her feel like shit. " Like, you can't find them or ... ? " She raised her brows to end her sentence, because they couldn't just be gone. That wasn't possible. And if other people could explain it better, why weren't they here? She glanced again to Joss, but only for a split moment this time, wondering if she was thinking the same thing she was. But as she looks back to the other two she remembers the injury at hand, and the small request Lex had made in between multiple apparent lies. " Water, right, " she said quietly to herself, letting backpack slip from her shoulder so she could pull recently filled water bottle from it. " Here, " She said, offering it to Lex once she had unscrewed the top. Joss Joss felt her anxiety building more and more by the second. Lex was injured, Shane was injured but then she wasn't, Jude was injured, the boys had apparently disappeared. It was all too much for the blonde to take in all at once and with little to no time to properly process any of it, she just felt stressed instead. Â "So which one is it?" Joss snapped with unintentional bite as Izzy corrected Lex. "Is she hurt or is she not hurt? Are the boys gone or are they not gone? What's the truth?" she sounded just a little unhinged as she questioned them forcefully, desperate for an answer that was the right one. How the fuck could she trust any of it? It was hard enough to trust it to begin with - Lex had been one of the main proponents of forging an alliance with the boys in the first place, enough so that she's called Joss out for being so against it. Now, Lex seemed completely unaffected by the idea that the boys had vanished. How could that be? Not to mention the Shane thing. Either she was fine or she wasn't, there was no in between but neither of the girls had presented Joss with a believable explanation and now she didn't know what to think and it made her prickle.
Alexa Annoyed that Izzy didn't back her, just for the sake of the girls returning, she now had to deal with her lie causing doubt. Fuck. Whiny and wiping the tears away, she accepts the water closest to her and takes a sip before letting out a small sigh. "Fine, fine I lied about Shane fucking up her hip but...everything else is true. We don't know what happened to the boys like, Clarke and Oona say they straight up vanished. Them, all their stuff, there is literally no signs that they were ever around at all apparently. M-maybe they got rescued and are sending back help - or they just moved camp or something, the point is, they're gone, and now that you know that, you know just as much as us about the rest of it. And Jude is genuinely hurt like she hurt her head I have no idea if she's fine or not, she was still out by the time we left and..." she wants to get up again but is too chicken to actually do it. "Look, I don't...know why you guys left and felt...safer without the rest of us, and I don't know what to say to get you to come back but, we're a team, right? We're in this together I mean, are you just gonna live out here all by yourselves? What if the help comes what if...what if something happens to you or...to us? Do you...do you not care?" she didn't want to believe that. She couldn't believe that. "The second I found out you were gone I packed my shit. I mean, I literally wore flats and got chased by a pig, let's just...can we just go back to the camp a-and discuss all this and then...I mean, come on...we're all we've got..."
Izzy izzy gave a little sigh of relief as lex began to be upfront with the others - as upfront as she could be, with none of them being totally sure of exactly what had happened to the boys. seeing lex look so weak, izzy feels a pang of sympathy for her, and kneels back down again, rubbing her back, a silent apology for not being able to just go along with her random lies - you know, morally. "listen," she said softly, turning to joss and erin again. "we don't know exactly what happened, or why the boys aren't here anymore; just that there's no sign of them, like they were never there in the first place - like magic, i guess - and that clarke and oona looked everywhere. so, i mean... you don't have to, but if you want to, then maybe you could just come back - at least for a minute, to touch base, tell people you're okay, and maybe listen to oona tell you exactly what she saw. if you want to. if you feel, you know, okay to," she said, voice even and gentle. again, she moved to her feet, wiping her hands off on her jeans ( which had long since been rolled into shorts ). izzy desperately wanted jocelyn and erin to come back to camp, but she was not the boss of them, and she was not going to force them to do anything they didn't want to do. what kind of a hypocrite would that make her? "also," she added with a little sigh, "i can't carry her back on my own." one hand moved absently to the ugly, pink, still healing scar that was visible on her bare abdomen, and only then did it occur to her that, now shirtless, all of her scars were exposed; only then did it occur to her to be self conscious. of course, they had bigger issues than izzy's vanity, so she breezed by the issue, speaking again. "i guess - i mean, if you really don't want to come anywhere near camp, i could go back and get someone who could carry her, but... i can't leave her all by herself. not here, not like this, i mean..." look at her.
Joss Joss clenched her jaw when Lex questioned their compassion for the rest of their group. Had it not already been demonstrated before? In the way Erin had provided aid and organization, in the way Joss had trekked through the jungle and had slept in a cave to rescue Jenny? The mere fact that Alexa could question it made her stomach feel sick after everything the Eves had been through. "A team?" she snapped back, "We weren't much of a fucking team when I said I didn't want anything to do with the boys and you didn't give a shit about that," it was bitter, it was immature but it was genuine. Joss had sincere reasons for her reaction to the boys though she hadn't dared share them with anybody but Shane. Even then, she hadn't meant to, it had just come out like a flood of emotion as soon as she'd opened the gate just a crack. Nobody else had asked. Nobody else had questioned why it was that she was so vehemently against the idea of joining forces. Erin hadn't either but that was different. They hadn't interrogated one another, they hadn't even spoken about how they felt in any great length but still, there remained a mutual sense of solidarity between them. Solidarity that had been absent when Lex accused Joss of being childish for not wanting to make nice with the boys. Izzy on the other hand, had offered a decent proposal, if indeed the boys were really gone and they weren't about to walk into a trap. If indeed, the boys had disappeared, maybe it would be good to touch base with the others, at least then they'd all be on the same page as one another. What if the boys hadn't disappeared? What if they were waiting for Erin and Joss to return to strip them of their inventory, to keep them from going back into the jungle or to send them back without any supplies of their own, like an exile of sorts. Joss didn't know which was worse. It was then that she looked to Erin, as she often did, for guidance.
Erin Erin felt that stomach ache get worse and worse. Each word, each admittance of a lie, each thing that sounded like a new lie. It was all horrifically overwhelming. She felt that tingle in the bridge of her nose, that one that suggested she was about to cry. And then the guilt tripping started. And it started with an admittance that Lex didnât understand why Joss and Erin had felt they had to leave. Her brows furrowed and she looked down because she knew she wasnât going to be able to keep the hurt and frustration from appearing on her features. Chest rising and falling again with a deep breath as she stared down Lexâs legs, trying to keep it together. Weâre a team, right? Weâre in this together? Do you not care? Thatâs when Erin couldnât hold it in anymore. â Do we not care? â She repeated, slightly accusatory tone to her voice. But ever soft spoken, it gets lost in the overlap with Joss saying more closely to what Erin was thinking. It was unbelievable to her that they would come out here and accuse Erin and Joss of not caring, considering the circumstances that led them to making that decision. At least that led Erin to making that decision. Though the sensation in her nose hadn't dissipated, even progressing further to glassy eyes, she stayed and listened to what Izzy had to say to. She desperately wants to step away and just let out this cry she's holding in. But she listens. It's, again, a bit hurtful that it seems Izzy thinks they could just leave Lex injured and alone if they decided not to go back but she holds that in too. Her lips pressed together, it's not her or Joss' call to make on their own. They had to talk. And honestly, Erin just needed a secondâ just a moment where she didn't feel like she was going to be judged for existing. She looked to Joss, not surprised that their eyes met, " Can we talk for a second? " She asked her, already standing as she did. " We won't go far. " She said, looking back to Lex and Izzy from her full height.
Alexa All she could feel was more and more tears forming as she tried to hold it together. She may have chosen the wrong words, but she was tired of never asking the questions. She had no idea WHY Joss and Erin hated the boys so much. She was not once told that. She was always truthful, apart from rare few instances where sheâd pass white lies just to soften the blow or help people out. She wanted to understand them so badly and all she was met with was feeling like a prick. For what? Wanting them back? âWhat do you mean I didnât give a shit? You literally told me to my face, whenâŠwhen I came to apologise when I explained my po-my point of view, you said you understood!â She snapped right back and she wiped the tears off her face. âAnd then you just left and you didnât even say goodbye you didnât even let us knowâŠand you let Shane know. You let her know and thatâs itâŠâ she swallows a deep breath and her eyes are fixed on Joss, dead on and she knows sheâs jealous and she knows she sounds it but she doesnât have time to think before she speaks. âAnd how can you say we didnât care about your opinion? We literally never told the guys where we were staying at all! We tried to vote and accommodate everyone andâŠweâre all just doing our best and we were doing it together and thenâŠIâm fucking sorry, okay? Iâm sorry that I donât, I donât fucking understand IâŠeveryone seems to understand and I donât, I justâŠI donât know. Okay? I want you back, thatâs all! I donât understand why you left whenâŠwhen we never told the guys where the camp is we neverâŠwe agreedâŠâ She could feel the panic rise, she could feel the anger boil and then Erin jumped in as well and the frustration of being misunderstood made her not say anything at all. Instead, she looks over at Izzy. âItâs fine Iz, Iâll just hop back on one foot if we, if we head back now I canâŠwe can get back in time.â
She didnât even process yet the scars nor the fact that Izzy genuinely could not help her much at all. All she knew is that she did not want for Joss or Erin to help. She did not want to owe them a goddamn thing. âJust help me up and we can goâŠsorry we bothered you guys at all..â
Izzy earlier in the day, with her 'final girl stare,' izzy had reminded herself of her mother; now, terribly, it was lex's voice that held echoes of nora connelly, at least in izzy's mind. "stop it!" izzy exclaimed, ( harsh, too harsh ) jumping to her feet once more. ( up and down, back and forth, always so indecisive. ) maybe they were in survival mode. maybe everyone was doing their best. but that was no excuse for what they had done, what izzy had done. yes, they were supposed to be a team; and then, joss and erin ( along with some of the others ) had told them in no uncertain terms exactly what they were comfortable with, and what had the others done, izzy included? ignored them. how the fuck could they have done that? joss and erin were out here, and that was on them, because they didn't listen to them. she felt sick with guilt, a horrid despair tugging at her, but she couldn't let it swallow her whole. ( you can't change the past, her father had said, only the future. and her mother would sigh like it was an unwelcome reminder. ) she shouldn't have come. she should have let somebody else go, someone more capable, someone who was equipped for this sort of thing. she volunteered herself out of selfishness, add that to the list. ( nothing she could do about that now. one foot in front of the other. ) "you're gonna let them talk for five fucking minutes, 'cause we owe them at least that, and i wouldn't blame them if they never wanted to fucking see us again! and if they don't, and i have to get you back to camp myself, then i will figure it out, because we are not their problem, and they didn't ask for this!" she exclaimed, and yes, she was shaking, and yes, her lungs ached, and how could she even tell exactly who she was mad at, here? ( and if she had to go back to camp and explain how they had fucked up so badly that it was beyond saving, well, she would figure it out.Â
Joss Joss scoffed at the argument, "Yeah, I said I understand your opinion- I didn't say I bloody liked it or that I agreed with it, I said I understood that you had it, it doesn't mean I felt any better about you calling me out in front of everyone like that," she insisted, Â though she didn't want to argue the same point over and over again. She grunted with frustration at Lex's lamenting, "Yeah, obviously we left without saying goodbye- as if you all would have let us just say see ya later and fuck off if you knew we were going, we didn't have a choice. Nobody listened to us when we said we weren't going to be around the guys but suddenly everybody would listen if we said we were leaving? Yeah, nah, it shouldn't take that bloody much to have our opinions heard," she decided firmly, folding her arms across her chest, partially in a defensive manner, partially in a self-conscious one. When Izzy spoke, once again Joss felt her muscles loosen and her tight shoulders drop a little. At least somebody seemed to understand that they didn't just leave for the fun of it, that they had clearly seen the circumstances as uninhabitable and that leaving had been a last resort, not a first one. "Thank you," Joss said, a little more pointedly than she intended to. With that, she turned to Erin, tapping the other girl's hand gently and flicking her head in a direction away from the other two so that they could discuss their position without conflict.
Erin Erin was not a confrontational person, hence her eagerness to step aside and let all of this process before she said something she didn't mean. Or that she did mean but didn't want to say. She stood awkwardly as she watched Joss and Lex argue about their last words to one another, picking anxiously at a seam on her shirt. That stinging over the bridge of her nose only got worse as a feeling grew in her stomach and thoughts buzzed around her brain. Though Izzy raising her voice and cussing and caring so much was shocking to Erin, she was also grateful. She was truly holding onto her composure for dear life and she could feel it was about to slip. She needed a moment. Fuck, Izzy was right, she deserved a moment. Maybe she should have said thank you, like Joss did, but as she thought about opening her mouth to say something she realised she wouldn't be able to without cracking. Instead she hummed a small mmhmm from behind her pressed lips when Joss tapped her hand and nodded in a direction for them to walk, quickly turning to move that way alongside her. She tries to keep her walk calm, steadyâ despite how much she wanted to just run and hide again. Once there's a little distance between the groups she lets out a shaky breath. Feeling a tear or two finally fall from her eyes after holding them back for the better part of that conversation. If it could be called that. " Jesus Christ, huh, " She said with a humourless laugh, bundling long sleeve over her hand so she could wipe at her cheeks without completely aggravating the sunburn. She looked to Joss, wondering for the millionth time in the last ten minutes what she was thinking, but now she could finally ask. " Are you okay? "
Alexa She is utterly confused now. âOh my God Joss how many times will I have to apologise for that? So when I came to you for snapping at you, when we had that conversation and y-you said you loved me a-and forgive me you just what? Lied? Wanted to get rid of me? I thoughtâŠfuck!â thought we were friends, she thought. But she didnât say it, not when every word was being twisted against her and in spite of literally running into the jungle for them like a lunatic, she was the one who seemed not to understand or care. And Izzys words, God, what the actual fuck was happening? âIâm sorry but no. No! Iâm notâŠIâm not fucking having that. We didnât hear them out? We didnâtâŠwe didnât hear you out? Fucking really? So we didnât have a vote that you just got outnumbered on, yeah? Well guess fucking what, we did. We did consider you. We literally agreed not to bring boys to camp to accommodate YOU. We agreed to aâŠand Iâm sorry thatâs how voting works some-sometimes and everyone canâtâŠget exactly what they want but, fuck, youâre gonna run off from us? Cr-create t-this bullshit narrative, that we didnât hear you out? No. Am I fucking missing something? Iz?â She looks over at Izzy again, she was still hurt but the sheer lack of support but she needed something. Anything. Except she didnât. She turns away and grabs onto the tree and pulls herself up. Pain rushed through her but it was the least painful thing right now. âFuck this. I can see why Shane didnât want to fucking come get you herselfâŠâ she felt sick to her stomach, sick and angry and like she was out of the loop about everything. And she didnât need them, she didnât need any of them. âIâm going. Come, donât come, I donât fucking give a shit.â And she hops to the next tree.
Izzy jesus christ. izzy wasn't the right person for the job? lex wasn't the right person for the job. did she hit her head on the way down, or something? hadn't she been at least remotely sensible and capable of empathy this morning, before they'd run into the others? and then she's up, jesus christ, jesus christ! "are you out of your goddamn mind?" izzy exclaims, before she can stop herself. without even thinking about it, she rushed to lex, hands on her shoulders, holding her against the tree, keeping her in place. it was gentle, and it was firm, and izzy was taller than lex by at least a couple of inches. "i honestly have no idea what the hell you think you're doing, so let me tell you what i know you're gonna do. you're gonna sit down, and chill out, and not put weight on your broken foot. i mean, honestly, lex, what do you think is gonna happen? 'cause you're gonna get maybe six feet like that, then fall, and the bone's gonna pop out of your skin, and then you really will lose a foot or something! and boy, will you have showed us! no! you're not doing that to yourself, and not putting that guilt on us, and i'm not letting you kill yourself out here!" izzy had done enough wrong, and she had to make it right, starting with this, with lex.
one foot in front of the other. one thing at a time. chest heaving, she continues, a little softer now, just a little softer. "and as for them? yes, lex. we took a vote. that's the thing. we never should have taken a vote, not if it was a matter of safety, not if the vote turning up yes made them feel obviously so fucking scared that they left! we fucked up, we didn't listen to them, and they're the ones that are out here, with the wild animals, like an exile or something! that's on us! it doesn't matter if we heard them out or not when we disregarded it after the fact. they're part of our team, and we valued people we didn't even know over them feeling safe. that's on us!" she repeated, chest heaving, near tears.
Alexa She listens to Izzy, sheâs making sense to begin with. And with Joss and Erin out of the way, she feels slightly more relaxed. Enough to stop, sit down and smile gently. âYouâre hot when youâre mad you know that?â Besides the point though, entirely besides the point. She shakes her head then and reaches for Izzys hand and pulls her down. âIâmâŠsit with me?â She can tell the others breath is getting faster and she realises she too was being way more agitated than she should have been. So she just sits there a minute and looks over at Joss and Erin not far away and rubs her face before speaking, her voice calm, almost a whisper. âIzzy, the only thing a group can do when reaching a disagreement is take a vote. Voting means everyone gets heard. We didnât do anything rash or irrational or outright cruel just to spite them and I feelâŠI feel cruel right now for defending literally all the rest of our girls, many of which also didnât like the boys or want much to do with them. And what about me then? Should I run off too? Because I said I wanted to let boys know where we were. So did Claire. I did not mind at all. And nobody cared that I wanted to trust them and let them in. And I agreed to go with the vote anyway, regardless of what I really wanted, because I may not dislike the boys but I respect you guys and the decision we reached as a collective.â She digs wrapping her hair up and looking over her ankle. It wasnât broken, probably just a bad sprain she could still move it.  âAnd clearly, it wasnât obvious to us that they were so mortified of them because if it were as obvious as you make it seem right now, we would have tried to reassure them more. Weâre a pretty big group, itâs notâŠitâs not fair to blame literally all of usâŠitâs not fair. And Iâm sorry I yelled and stuff but, I donât knowâŠI just donât understand how being out here with these wild animals is safer than being with us, on a beach boys know as much about as they do their current location. Anyway..â
Izzy her mouth opens in a surprised o, and then she giggles outright, trying to help lower lex to the ground and sitting beside her, feeling suddenly very tired. she listens to lex, nodding, biting at her lip. "i know it wasn't to be cruel. i know that. i voted for the same thing as you, you know? but... look, i don't know why they're so freaked out by them, but clearly they are. and if they are, i mean, i care more about them feeling safe then about talking to the boys. not that it matters, not with the boys gone anyways. we're choosing them now, but we should have chosen them earlier," she explains, hugging her knees to her chest. a frown marred her features as lex continued. "but... i don't think they did this because they didn't get their way. i mean, you don't do something like this because you lost a vote, lex. not something like this. i think... i think they were scared. if you and clarke actually went off into the woods, i would haul you back in a heartbeat," she said, laughing weakly. "i missed... a lot of the vote," izzy admitted, "but tensions were high, and everyone voting no seemed a little paranoid, right? but if we didn't know then, we know now how freaked out they are. but we can't go back and reassure them more, and we don't need to, 'cause the boys are gone. and it's not safer out here, but they think it is, for whatever reason. but it's up to us to make them feel safe now, because that's all we can do, and the way to do that... probably isn't any of what we've been doing so far." at least that was fair. "and there's no way in hell i'm going back to camp to face shane without them," she joked. "her and joss both scare the shit out of me. if we can't get them to come back, i'm moving to the woods. so how about we just chill out, and you stop trying to go for a one-legged hike, and let's wait for them to get back, okay?" she said, voice gentle again, leaning back against the tree, head to the sky.
Alexa Izzy was right, and finally she could see the point. She did not agree with all of it, but she was in pain and she was tired and she did genuinely want the girls back. So what if she didnât understand? So what if she wanted to? It didnât matter. Suddenly, all that mattered once again was getting them back home. Her eyes are back on Iz and sheâll squeeze her hand just a little tighter as she offers a smile. As nice of a smile as she can considering. âOkay. Youâre rightâŠyouâre right. Iâm sorry.â She then looks down at her boobs and her nose wrinkles and she laughs. âNice fit by the wayâŠâ â âIf I could predict bossy Iz Iâd have fucked ip my ankle sooner.â She touches it gently. âItâs not broken by the way, I donât think, still hurts like a bitch thoughâŠâ Joss Joss was practically fuming when Lex questioned her integrity, when she suggested that even for a second Joss had done anything just to get rid of the other girl. Maybe Lucy Fraser would have done that but Joss would never. She had been truthful with Lex about the things that had mattered but that didn't mean she agreed with the other girl or comfortable with the other girl's way of handling things. Especially not now. "Yeah, I stuck my bloody hand up- that's not hearing somebody out, you shut me down as soon as I tried to say anything about it and yeah, you apologised, I accept that, I appreciate it but it doesn't change anything, I still got shut down, I don't feel considered at all," she insisted. Maybe if she had actually been considered, Shane would have had a better argument for convincing her to stay. Instead Shane had understood her reasoning and had hugged her goodbye. At least that was what Joss had thought, until Alex continued. Like a knife in the gut. That was what it felt like, the moment Lex had mentioned Shane. She didn't want to come? That was it? Had the whole thing about her hip been an effort to soften the blow? To avoid hurting Joss' feelings? She backed down now, feeling a little pathetic, embarrassed even. It had taken two days for Shane to get over Joss, to discard her. Sure, it was longer than it had taken Joss' friends at home to leave her behind but it didn't hurt any less.
Erin When Erin asked Joss if she was okay, she tightened her arms folded across her chest and shook her head, "No," she said plainly because it was true. She wasn't okay. She was hurt. She was stressed. She felt guilty and embarrassed and angry and sad and misunderstood and she was sure there were more feelings swirling around in the pit of her stomach but they were all moving too fast. Â She rubbed the other girl's side affectionately, catching her glassy eyes for the first time, "Are you okay?" she asked, knowing the answer already. It was an obvious answer, but at least it was honest. It was a tiny thing but it did feel oddly stabilising after the chaotic back and forth of the last few minutes. Just a plain, honest no. Even if it was horrible. Another stabilising thing was Joss' hand coming to her side, the comfort that came with it. She reached for it, fingertips touching Joss' hand lightly in a silent show of appreciation. Her natural instinct would be to lie, not wanting to add to the stress by admitting the severity of her feelings, but she found herself shaking her head instead. She couldn't say it, but she couldn't lie either. Her arms held close to her own body, a protective sort of mannerâ not that it would actually be able to protect her. After another second to push that cry back down she breathed deeply before speaking. " I justâ " She hadn't even figured out what she wanted to say, so concerned with not breaking. " I don't understand why they're hereâ Like, I do. " Because they wanted Joss back. " But, like, whyâ like what was the point in saying any of that? " She fumbled through her words, not able to express clearly that she did understand the point was for them to go back, they had made that clear, but their muddled approach had done nothing but hurt Erin's feelings and make her feel more strongly about the reasons she begged Joss to let her tag along in the first place.
Joss Joss stole a tiny glance back in the direction of Izzy and Lex, as if one more quick look at them would provide her with the answer she was so eager to provide Erin with but nothing came to her. She shook her head to say as much, "I don't know," she confessed, "The boys can't be gone- that's fact," as far as she was concerned it was, anyway, "So what? They're hiding? They've decided to ditch us before we decided to ditch them? I don't know," she felt like she could say she didn't know one hundred or so more times and it still wouldn't adequately reflect just how clueless she felt. "So maybe they said that to convince us to come back- or you to come back anyway," since Shane apparently didn't give a shit either way, "Lex said Jude hit her head- so if that's not bullshit as well, maybe they need you for first aid," she suggested, though Izzy seemed to have a pretty good handle on Lex's ankle, so she didn't know what else Erin could do for Jude that was so unique and necessary. "I don't know," she said once more for good measure because nothing, in her mind, seemed to add up. Maybe that was because Izzy and Lex seemed to be on two completely different pages or maybe it was because the idea of the boys disappearing into thin air was so bloody ridiculous that everything else the girls said had been tainted by it.
Erin When Joss looked back the way they had just walked, Erin did too. Just like she had a million times since Joss approached her on that day they met the other group. Looking back to her after a moment as she started to speak. She agreed, the boys couldn't be gone. She'd tried to question them further on that, to elaborate more but the response they got was other people know more. Which begged Erin to ask, then why aren't they here? At the least, why didn't they explain it better to Izzy and Lex? But she let Joss continue, air out all her thoughts before Erin would chime with her own.
And then the time came and she didn't know what to say. Not really. There was a lot to cover. " Me neither. " She started with. She swallowed a lump in her throat, trying to decide what was worth saying, and what was helpful and what wouldn't be. " Like, they have to be somewhere. Izzy said it was like they were never here but they were. We all saw them, " She was sure if she looked hard enough at her shirt she would still be able to see the faint stains of blood she hadn't been able to get out from Callum. " But if they're missing, I mean, that's different. But how do we know if that's even trueâ and why say they're gone, like, " She thought aloud, expressing her frustration at the inability to know what was true and what wasn't with an extending of her hand in front of her before it returned to her chest. The next thing on her mind was that Joss thought they weren't here for her, when it felt cruelly obvious to Erin that they were only here for her. Erin was just collateral. But that wasn't helpful so she didn't say it. So next, Jude. And the possibility of her having a head injury. " And Jude, I mean, yeah, if it's not bullshit, " The implication being that Erin believed it was, " I don't know what they expect me to be able to do. Like, of course, I'll help if it's true and if I canâ but I know just as much as Izzy and she's here. Not with Jude. " She pointed out. And even if it was true, that was a lot of fucking pressure to put on her. She was a lifeguard that went camping a lot with her familyâ not a neurosurgeon.
But what were they going to do about any of it, that was the question. Erin certainly didn't feel welcomed back when this was the reception of anyone seeing them for the last two days. She felt completely uneasy. Like it was a trap. " It feels, to me, " she pressed her hand to her chest more pointedly, making it clear this was only her opinion and how she felt, not any sort of fact. " Like they're both just saying whatever they think they need to to get us back. " She admitted. It didn't bring her any joy to say it but she had to be honest. It didn't feel real, or genuine. Even Izzy snapping at Lex, looking back on it could have just been because she realised Lex's tactic wasn't working.
Joss Joss wasn't particularly comfortable saying it but she had to agree with Erin, it did seem that way. It seemed  as if Lex and Izzy had contrasting ideas about what it was that would win Joss and Erin over but hadn't discussed their tactics before approaching them. As a result, they had contradicted each other and confused the hell out of Joss and Erin instead of convincing them of anything, "Yeah," she agreed, though the Shane comment had been anything but what Joss had wanted to hear. She was too embarrassed to repeat it however, foolishly hoping that somehow Erin had managed to avoid hearing exactly how much Joss' supposed pal didn't give a shit about whether she returned or not and had decided she didn't want anything to do with it. "I feel bad for Izzo dragging Lex back to camp on her own but I'm not that keen to go back," she paused for a moment, "Especially not now," she added with a scoff. As if the idea of the boys wasn't enough of a deterrent, now that Lex had popped off at them and Joss had discovered the Shane was indifferent toward her at the very least, the very last thing she wanted to do was head back to camp to face the other Eves.
Erin " Me neither, " Erin agreed, but she also didn't think she could let them try to go back on their own. The guilt would eat her alive, even if they made it back completely safe. And, she didn't love the idea of just continuing to roam around with the idea that the Eves had lost the Adams. She may not believe it in this moment, but it would likely be much more compelling and definitely more terrifying once the sun went down. " We could help them most of the way? Leave once they're close enough to make it back on their own? " She suggested, looking back to Joss for her thoughts. It wasn't ideal because Erin didn't really have a desire to talk to them, or anyone besides Joss, after hearing what they said. And she had to assume Joss felt the same. But what other option did they have? Let Izzy have another asthma attack trying to get Lex back to camp?
Joss Joss considered Erinâs proposal in silence for a moment or two, taking a deep breath in before she adjusted her posture. âOkay, yeah,â she nodded her head in agreement though her voice was feeble, unconvincing until she spoke again âYeah, okay, letâs do that,â she repeated, having mulled it over for a moment or two longer. Â âWe help them get back to a safe spot, then we go the other way, or maybe loop around so they just think we went the other way,â she suggested, lowering her voice as much as she could without seeming especially suspicious.
Erin She nodded her head in agreement as Joss built on her idea, feeling far better with the knowledge that the two were still on the same page. That if they had no one else that understood them, they had each other. " I like that, that's smart, " She said, matching Joss' low voice. Though, now they'd come to that, Erin realised it was probably time for them to return to Lex and Izzy. But she had more to say. Less about their plan and more about how they had both admitted they weren't okay before trying to formulate one. She reached for her arm, meeting her eyes as she said, " Hey, you know it's all crap, right? What Lex was saying, " Her voice was still low, just in case, but genuine. There was a lot more too it, many more things she would say later, but for now she'd keep it simple. " Hurtful crap, but still crap. "Â
Joss It wasn't all that often that Joss was admired for saying or doing something 'smart' but on this rare occasion, Erin had said it so easily that it made Joss feel as if it was true. She smiled delicately at the thought, still perturbed by the circumstances enough to taint her expression. "Oh yeah, yeah, nah, nah, I know," Joss assured Erin in just about the most unconvincing manner she possibly could have produced. It was moments like this that demonstrated precisely why Joss had been unofficially restricted from enrolling in year 12 drama for the sake of graduating with a VCE that year. She pressed her lips together, wanting to steer the conversation away from the hurtful things Lex had said, "So, that's our plan then," she stated definitively before a lack of confidence wavered her resolve, "That's our plan, right? We go as far as we can, we turn back- are we going to tell them?"
Erin Her lips pressed together again as Joss tried to assure her she knew what Erin said was true. She wasn't convinced, but she didn't want to push it. Instead just rubbing Joss' arm for a small second before letting go. She didn't really want to think to hard about the hurtful things that Lex had said, and they hadn't even been said directly to her. She nodded, " Yeahâ yes, that's our plan. Â " She confirmed, keeping her voice steady and confident. However she hadn't really considered whether or not they should tell Izzy and Lex. She didn't feel as though she owed either of them any sort of honesty but also, why stoop to the same level? " I think we should tell them. " She said, purposely using the phrasing I think at the beginning of her statement. She would roll over like a puppy if Joss had a differing opinion. " Izzy, at least, might be understandingâ and either way, I'd rather tell them now than have them think we're going back the whole way and probably have another fight about it then. Right? What do you think? "Â
Joss Joss nodded her head in agreement. It wasn't that she had come to the conclusion or was even particularly enthused about letting Lex and Izzy know what decision they had made, it was just that she trusted Erin to know what the right thing to do might be and either way, she was happy not to make the final decision herself. "Yep," she finally spoke, having little else to say for herself and certainly nothing profound to add to the discussion. 'Maybe just Izzy," she concurred, Â "If we have any way of getting around Lex, that is," she twisted her mouth slightly, considering the likelihood of them getting something past their injured friend when she was probably on high alert after their arguments that afternoon. Erin There was a lot Erin could say, truly a lot. But she kept her thoughts to herself for now. Erin and Joss hadn't stepped aside to gossip. " Anything she says, it's just water off a duck's back, " She said with a small flourish of her hand, pulling a small smile on her features. It was a silly little saying, and that was part of the reason she said it. She wanted Joss to feel better, she wanted to see her smileâ even if just for a moment. " It's nothing. We got this. " She assured confidently, all of what she was saying also to assure herself. She would try to not let anything hurtful get under her skin and upset her. She would try to have an unwavering resolve. She would try to be mature enough to see this through. As the two walked back, Erin noticed Lex and Izzy had moved slightly. Having to adjust her path from the one they'd taken for their moment aside. She wondered why. And bitterly she wondered why she was about to offer her help when it appeared they could move just fine on their own. " So, " She started once close enough, she didn't want to be the one to tell them but more than that she didn't want to make Joss do it either. " We'll help you back, but we're not going back. We'll get you close enough that you can make it on your own, but that's it. " She said, trying to convey with her tone that it wasn't up for discussion. However, knowing full well she wasn't very good at having that quality to her voice she continued quickly, her hope to move on before either of them could criticise the decision. " Is that wrap secure enough for her to move? " She asked Izzy, looking to her as she referenced the her shirt wrapped around Lex's leg.
Alexa By the time two had returned her brain was back on track at what she was supposed to be doing. And that was bringing them back. She didnât want to argue, and if sheâd known how to keep quiet and if she hadnât hurt her leg so bad, she would probably have went about it better. And sure the other girls wanted them back too but she and Izzy were the ones actually here and as much as it hurt her that alone was not enough, that it had to be Shane or whoever else they liked better, she put her feelings aside. Because something had to give for this madness to just end. âJoss?â She called out her name and it sounded weird on her lips. She knew the other must have hated her. She always had that feeling. Hell, since day one all anyoneâs done is reminded her that she looked or talked or walked like their bully or just an entitled cunt. And she was fine with that. She could live with that. What she couldnât live with was letting the girls die in the woods because she felt hurt they would leave them in the first place. âIâm sorry I didnâtâŠmean what I said. Iâm just, Iâm confused and in pain andâŠwell I guess Iâm also a bit jealous that you like Shane more than me and thatâŠyou didnât actually forgive me andâŠI donât know, I care for you. I wouldnât be here if I werenât, I wouldnât have packed up my bags the second I found out you two were gone, if I didnât genuinely truly from the bottom of my heart want you back. And I know, I know I donât have the right words all the time butâŠfuck, Iâm sorry, okay?â She knew she shouldnât have thrown Shane under the bus as a dig but she didnât lie, as far as Lex was conserved, she didnât want to come.
âAnd Shane wanted to come, I justâŠI begged her to let me go instead and look after Jude and the camp.â A lie Izzy wouldnât know was a lie. The kind she had to resort to now. âBut it was her idea to go in the first place. She said that and look, look she even gave us a map a-and thought about where we might find you andâŠ.sheâs gonna be so fucking mad if we donât get you back.â
She now looks at Erin. âI know weâre not closest friends. You and me. I also know you are one of the most genuine and generous people on this island. And smart and resourcefulâŠ.you saved our asses more then once and I, well fuck maybe I want to return the favour. Because as safe as this may feel, just the two of you far away, it IS still dangerous. And now with these guys gone, itâs likeâŠwhere the fuck did they go? What if they find us or you orâŠI donât know what to think about it all Iâm scared too. IâmâŠscared all the time. Of everything. So please justâŠcome back? Iâm sorry, for everything I promise if you come back i wonât evenâŠI wonât talk to either of you ever if thatâs what you want. I mean it I will stay out your way. But donât let me being shit with words and stupid and judgmental stop you from doing what is best for you. I understand if you wanna drop us off and go, you have every right to butâŠat least until we figure out that itâs safe out here maybe justâŠcome back, just for a while?â
Erin Shane wanted Joss back, and that was why they were here. Erin already knew that but to have it laid out for her in the way that Lex did with her attempted apology to Joss and well ⊠Erin figured it was supposed to be an apology to her too, but it hurt. She thought herself pathetic and childish for it but it still hurt. Part of her wanted to just skate past it, say anyway and just keep moving because their decision was not up for discussion. But, Lex said she didnât understand, so she thought it was only fair to try and give her a chance to. She took a small breath to try and gain her confidence, she was not a confrontational person, or even disagreeable most of the time and she hated having to be. â Respectfully, Lex, you donât know whatâs best for us. â Her voice was calm but genuine. She was expressing how she felt and setting boundaries, something her mother always said she had to be better at. â You say you understand our decision and that you respect our right to make it, but you donât. And thatâs fine, â Was it though? Too late, the people pleaser had jumped out and sheâd said it anyway. â Because itâs not up for debate. Itâs our decision. Thatâs all we need you to understand and respect. â If she wasn't so emotionally worn out she might have been a little impressed with her ability to say all that without speeding up or getting caught up in her own words and hurt. With a breath of pause to let all that sink in and nod that Lex's leg was secure from Izzy, that meant they were ready to go. " Okay, let's get you up now then? " She said, moving to Lex's side so she could help her up, looking to Izzy to see if she was ready on the other side. " On three? "
Izzy izzy nodded and tried to bite back the frown that threatened to weigh down her features. you did not have to be a genius to understand that all of this had far more to do with feelings and fight or flight than it did what was best for anyone, because there was nothing safe about being off in the woods alone - that had been well established time and time again. but what was izzy going to do? if joss and erin didn't want to come back, it was not up to izzy to try and change their mind, or tell them what do to. ( not that knowing that would make izzy feel any less culpable if something happened to them out here. it was her fault that they left, and her fault that they didn't feel safe enough to come back, and they were at an impasse. ) she was so tired. ( and if she was tired, how much more tired must joss and erin be? lex? ) Â slowly, she pushed herself up to a standing position, eyes flitting between erin and lex for a minute. she was unable to verbalize how grateful she was that they'd agreed to help her and lex, even after everything, so, in leu of allowing herself to get choked up, she simply managed, "okay. thank you. i'm ready," she agreed, and gently moved to help lift lex. "does this feel okay?" she asked lex, trying to hold up her weight as best as she could. "i think camp is that way," she said, motioning in the vague direction from which they'd came. please let the pig be gone, she prayed silently. Joss If Alexa had taken some time, some real time to actually consider the way she had approached Joss or the Things that she had said to her then maybe Joss would have been able to see the sincerity in the other girl's apology. Coming so, so soon after the event, however, when Joss herself had barely been able to catch her breath after it, it just felt like a last ditch attempt to salvage things between them that lacked any real heart. Instead of voicing any of that however, Joss simply nodded her head, deciding to focus on the task of getting Lex back to camp safely, without further injury. "Let's just go," she insisted, not wanting to continue the conversation nor wanting to hear Erin and Lex get into a heated discussion over who knew what was best for whom. In fact, if all four of them travelled back to camp in silence for however long it took them to get there, that would be just fine with Joss. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â -------------------- TIME SKIP --------------------
Izzy as they approached camp, the sense of dread izzy had been carrying with her only grew heavier, until finally, she could nearly see the beach through the trees, and she could see the smoke from the fire rising into the sky. she was not exactly sure how close joss and erin were willing to get, but she figured that this must be pushing it, so she abruptly halted, taking a deep breath and ignoring the dull pain in her kidneyless side, and the slight anxious shake to her hands. "i - i think we can take it from here," she said, wishing she sounded a little less like she was on the verge of a freakout. she bit her bottom lip, glancing away for a beat and then looking to erin and jocelyn again. "thank you so much, really. for helping us. is there - are you, like, running low on anything? supplies, i mean, like, do you need anything? we can, like... i could bring it to you now, or someone could leave stuff for you at the waterfall, if you need it. even if you don't wanna come back to camp, like... it's still your stuff, too, so if you want - " she rambled on nervously, before cutting herself off with a nervous little sigh. "do you need anything?" she repeated, head ducking towards her chest as she looked at them with watchful eyes.
Alexa By the time Izzy had calculated it was close enough to stop. She was exhausted and  her leg was pulsating all over and she felt like passing out. Sweat was dripping from her forehead down her face and her neck and she felt disgusting in every sense of the word. She couldnât bring herself to look at any of them so she smiled instead at Izzys words. âY-yeah, we can drop off t-the blanket too it must get really cold out there.â It was best she could think of without saying much. âThanks guys. Real sorry about be-before. Stay safeâŠâ she hops few steps ahead on her own and can almost smell the beach from that point. She hops on further, leaving Izzy alone with the girls for a moment.














