#whycantibehappy

concept: i’m happy and i don’t have to worry about anything. i’m sitting in my cottage, by the fire, with a big mug of hot chocolate and i’m reading my favourite book. music is playing from my record player and i am so happy and content.

Why is it that I feel like changing every aspect of my life but people viewing my life would say it's perfect? I honestly want to change everything and yet I don't.

I can't sleep because I'm scared I'll dream about you, and the worst part is, they're not even bad dreams, the worst part is waking up to realise it was just a dream and none of it was true

There's nothing stopping me from walking downstairs and ending everything, I've spent the past 3 years of my life being an addict, an alcoholic, let's add jealous, depressed, anxious, hot-headed, terrible temper. I'm a fuck up and I disappointed my parents and when I finally have something to live for and care about it, I put everything I have into it and it eats me alive because once I have it I live in constant fear of speaking my mind or how I actually feel because I'm already so close to losing it. It's been way too long and way too much struggling, what am I still fighting for.

Does anyone else feel like their life is falling apart faster and faster and they can't keep up?