Derapchu, or Mr. D as he prefers, accidently reveals a lot about his not just his Family and his Home life / Family life but how that has impacted him in how he talks about his Dad, but also in how he doesn't talk about his Mum. Derap speaks highly of his father infront of people, and I think that the fact it is infront of people is important. Very early on in the session, he brings up how he was born into wealth, and later on while talking to Snowbird his Dad could help fix the city, saying "I feel like if I got my dad to help, this city would not look like shit". In my opinion, I think the fact that he calims his Dad can 'Fix up' Paradise City shows that he thinks very highly of his Dad, and what he can do. The City is in awful condition, abandoned and in absoloute dissaray, there is literally craters in the roads, it is not in 'Fix up' condition. However, he isn't saying this because he thinks highly of his father as a good man who would want to as a capable and kind man who would want to fx up a city like this, he is saying it because his Father is Wealthy. His fathers wealth is positioned as the one good quality that Derap views him to have. He was born into Wealth, his Fathers wealth, and he is so wealthy that he could repair a city in compleate disarray. There is one last quote I want to cover for how he speaks about his father in Public, because I feel like it really is the Start of when you start questioning his father, and connects into how Mr. D speaks about his father to himself.
When he is talking to Ish, he ends up offering him one of his bottles of Whisky, and says alongside it "My Dad- My Dad gave it to me when- Straight away". There are definitely a few ways to interpret this line, looking at it without some of the later context from later on in the session. He starts off by saying 'When', which you would naturally assume by looking at his Ticket from Twitter and seeing that he is 21 and born on the 28th of September (with this session being streamed 5 months afterwards) that his Dad gave him his first drink when he turned 21, and that would make sense why he then followed it by 'Straight away', as in Straight after he turned 21. I think that assuming that would be reasonable, but even looking at it without me adding anything to it, it is still weird wording. It could be waved away by just Drunked speach, however, I don't think that it is. This is the best place to look at how he changes how he speaks about his Father/His family when he is Alone - When he is alone, he says that his Father wasn't even there for his 21st birthday; He actually wishes that his father was there. So that brings into question what he means by 'Straight away', and when this was. Look at how reliant on Alcohol Derapchu has become, and how integral to his life it is, I don't think this is something that started three months ago either. Addiction can develop over a Few weeks to a Few months, and I don't want to disregard the fact that this may be a new addiction. However, quotes such as when asked by chat (He says that chat is voices he hears when he is drunk but I have taken that less literally, and more along the lines of a Drunken internal monolouge which doesn't always make sense and doesn't always do what he wants) why he drinks, he responds with "Because it makes me feel fucking whole again", "Drinking doesn't solve all your problems" and "Sometimes I just drink not to feel pain. Dear god, all I feel is pain nowadays" make me feel like this is longer than a few months. But this raises the question, when did he start drinking? Thankfully, it does circle back to his Family. I mentioned at the beginning that his Mother isn't mentioned very much, and when you put it together with the fact that I just explained that I don't think his father gave him his first drink when he turned 21, I think that he started drinking when his mother became 'absent'- whatever that entails. Now, Derap never directly says that she isn't in his life, however, it is hard to notice that she isn't mentioned. Let alone as much as his father is, and she definitely has not been mentioned in discussions with people like his father has been. It doesn't seem to be a topic he avoids, it is just something he doesn't 'do'.
To swerve slightly into something which seems irelevant but I promise it does quickly circle back to the conversation at hand. I want to discuss quickly what he actually has on him. In his inventory, he only has four things - Whisky, Vodka, Loose cash, and Bacon sandwiches. For someone who seems to have a curated presentation and identity, the Bacon Sandwiches seem completely out of place. They aren't special, expensive, or particularly labour-intensive food. They are common, simple, and something you would assume is beneath him. He is rich, from what I assume is generational wealth. However, he has them with him, next to his Dad's cash and his Dads alchohol. I'm sure you can see where this is going. When he does finally speak about his mother, the sandwiches come up. He says in relation to the sandwiches, "Yeah, it was my mother's recipe. God, it tastes so fucking good". The first thing he says about his mother already reveals so much to me, starting with the fact that he reveals through this that he is actually rather sentimental. He has all this wealth, surely has more food options than we could imagine, because of this, he could choose any food he wanted, and chose his mother's recipe for Bacon Sandwiches. It goes against the nonchalant, asshole persona he puts out (and also honestly, does sometimes actually have. It's just usually a persona). He follows that with "Good memories with my mum. Was the only person who was around really in my life!". It is pretty obvious she was an important figure in her life, and I think it is interesting to note that he has not shared any fond memories like this with us when it comes to his Dad. Looking at the quote, I want to pick apart her being the only person who was around in his life. In my opinion, this reinforces something that I was trying to imply - That his father is Neglectful, and relatively Absent in his life, whether that is literally not around enough or it is emotionally absent. In my opinion, another thing that is shown here is how Lonely and Isolated he is. Having one person there for you is not enough, as I'm sure everyone knows. It is necessary to have a support system, and I think that it is implied that he does not have that in his Family. But what does this quote have to do with the previous paragraph, and the fact that I claimed that his mother is Absent? I think that the reason why I think she is absent is obvious, she is spoken about entirely in the past tense. She WAS around in his life, it WAS his mother's recipe. I've been thinking about his mother a lot, and who she may have been, but it is hard when this is all the information we have. I have a few thoughts on her, Like how I think that she married into wealth and may not of been wealthy herself because of the Bacon sandwiches again. But there are so many possibilities on what happened to her that I am really struggling to even settle on which option I feel is most possible, but there is an option I have a potential theory on. She could have just left and run away, She could have divorced Derap's father and left Derap with him, She could have disappeared and gone missing, She could have died, or She could have even been someone who was turned into a Zombie. Really, the options are almost limitless on what happened with her that I feel like saying "Absent" is my easiest option.
Going all the way back to what started this, the quote about his father giving him alcohol ("My Dad- My Dad gave it to me when- Straight away"), I am assuming that the 'When' / 'Straight after' is When his mother became absent in his life, for whatever reason. As I mentioned, he only recently turned 21 despite him trying to say later that he is "Almost 22", and looking at the fact he is 21 it means no matter what, he was young when he lost her, but if I had to try and put an age on it I would say about 15-16. The reason behind this is that is about the age it is normal to start drinking and experimenting with drinking. I also think that it makes sense why a Rich, Absent, and Emotionally not present Father would get his Son to start drinking at that age, because it is far easier to reason that it is okay to buy a 15/16 year old alcahol than someone 13/14. It is possible that it could have been older. The reason I personally didn't go for an older age is because of a few things he says later. What I want the main takeaway right now is that I personally theorise that Derap's father started supplying his young son with Alcohol, not long after his Mother became absent. I will get further into the Addiction aspect of his character, but I want to give that its own post so that I can give it the attention that it needs. This is just focusing on it in reference to his Family.
I also mentioned earlier, too, that there is a difference between how he publicly talks about his father compared to how he talks about his father to himself / When he is alone. We spoke about how it seems he thinks of his dad very highly, and while I don't think that his private thoughts and comments go against that I do think that it shows more complicated feelings towards him, which are more closely inline with the characterisation I have given him here and helps reason with why I think that he is Neglectful and why I would assume he is giving his teenage son alcahol while being underage and in a vunerable place due to his Mother no longer being with him. In public, I feel like Mr D makes his dad seem almost 'Clean', and seems very aware that his father, as a rich and known man, has a reputation that he must uphold. He can not be the reason that his father loses that Reputation, even if it is with a group of strangers completely unaware of his Father and his Wealth. That wealth is, as I said, what Derap views as his father's best quality. Wealth and money, generally, are not just a necessity to life, but it is necessary to how he makes connections and forms relationships. Having Wealth, to him, is a necessary personality trait, and it is reasonable to assume that again this has come from his father. I think there is actually an argument to be made that he actually doesn't consciously do this, as I imagine it is ingrained in him from a young age to keep aperances up. When alone, he still talks highly about his father, it isn't always Possitive, it is mixed in with it. I feel there is one quote which completely covers the difference, and it is when he is in an old office building and says that it reminds him of home. When chat questions him on this, he firstly says, "My daddy had a fucking business, man! And I'd hear people typing away at computers!" We still get a slight mention of his dad's wealth, but here it isn't actually the core of the quote. I feel the core of the quote is that because his dad is a businessman, it is the fact that an office feels like home because his father is one, meaning that he would spend time with his father there. I don't think that Mr D's Dad is a businessman is brought up just because of what I was establishing about this being what Derap views as his best quality. I think that it is mentioned that he is a businessman because it is a defence of his father. Here, I feel he is using it as a defence because the implication is that he would spend time at the office, which meant spending time with his father. In my opinion, it is a defence of Neglectfulness.
There is an end to the quote which is what helps make is important, which is "I miss- I fucking- I miss my dad! Fuck". This is the first, last, and most vulnerable and revealing thing he says about his father. He says other things about him before and after this, sure, but I think that may be the most important. It seems reluctant admission, but it also seems like to me it is something he doesn't want to miss. He doesn't want to miss his father. When you put it next to other quotes made privately about him, like "You know, my dad told me he'd take me to the moon, yet this is the closses I've ever been… Fuck you." and "I wish my dad was there for my 21st birthday… Fuck! My Daddio!" it shows that he does hold resentment to his father, and it makes sense why he wouldn't want to miss his father or admit that he does. That first quote about being taken to the moon is said Bluntly and Coldly, and it isn't about Literally not being taken to the moon, it is about how his father made a promise he couldn't keep, and let him down, I also think that the fact his dad wasn't at his 21st birthday is another instance of his Dad letting him down. He doesn't want to miss someone who has let him down, yet he does.
I have a lot more to say on this, in relation to him and his dad's dynamic that I think we see and also how his Dad has impacted him, and just generally have more to analyse and say on Mr D's character, who he is, and what he says. I think I claimed a lot of things here and maybe didn't back all of it up as well as I would of liked but it was already so long and had already taken up so much of my time that I think I will just need to make multiple posts to go into the other things and characters that I would like too and to also break it up a bit for myself.
