#whitearse

“I refuse to participate in this existential crisis you’re all clearly having.”

  “Come on, Michael! What else are you gonna do? Study?” Calum grinned, turning up the volume as the opening credits began to roll across the flat screen.

  “Maybe I will.” Michael smirked to himself, avoiding their pressuring gazes.

  It was one thing to watch their love lives play out fairly perfectly, while he was becoming increasingly more alone, it was another to endure Disney marathons with the love birds.

  Common enough as it was in college, Michael didn’t think he could put up with that this time around. He’d be the only one making sarcastic responses, and pointing out every innuendo drawn into the animation. It wasn’t as fun when your friends were all blinded by their relationships - they’d side with the overly romanticized plots, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to cope with that.

  “We can pick something else, if you really want?” Luke suggested, watching how the boy had practically sunk at the mention of their afternoon plans.

  It was the last day of exams and no one was focused on studying. Michael’s exam wasn’t until 7:00, so they figured venturing into the nostalgic world of Disney would be an appropriate use of time and rebellion to not grow up - despite the fact they were all clearly giving into societal norm.

  “Nah, it’s fine. You guys go ahead. I think I’ll just go study on campus.” Shrugging, Michael picked up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder and lacing up his combat boots. “Don’t get too high off the fumes that you turn into a three man boy band.” He teased, escaping out the front door before they could stop him.

  Michael pressed his back up against the door, letting out a frustrated sigh. There was only so much more of this he could put up with. He was happy for them all, but it was claustrophobic seeing his best friends in relationships that he couldn’t have, only a few weeks before they all left for summer vacation, and especially days before their gig. They were supposed to be focused on making impressions, and getting people to like their music if they were really going to make it big, and all three of them were living in the bliss of ‘newlywed dating’.

  He was as much to blame, for pushing them all to go along with their hearts and be happy, but the pressure was weighing on him. What was so wrong with him, that all three of his friends managed to catch a girl’s eye, while he was the odd man out? What was so wrong with him that he pushed them all away, and now was complaining that he was alone? What was so wrong with him that he could practically smell the jealousy coating his clothes. Why was this bothering him so much? He was fine a few days ago.

  The closure surrounding everything was making him severely sick to his stomach.

  If it was bad now, the entire summer would be filled with canceled plans, and extra plates on the table, and public handholding during group hangouts, and the dreaded reminder that he couldn’t have that.

  Deciding he’d been enough of a sad sack this morning, he picked himself up and walked to the shuttle bus stop. He could pass on being lazy and walk to campus, but he wasn’t in the mood to have more internal conversations with himself. If he was surrounded by other strangers, maybe he wouldn’t feel so out of place.

  The minute Michael stepped into the library, he wanted to back right out. Despite it being the last day of exams, the place was still crowded. Papers, textbooks, laptops were all strewn around the tables and study carrels. Unless you wanted to get up close and personal with some strangers, or share a table with frenzied freshmen, the first floor was a horror show.

  I’m getting a fucking coffee.

  Michael turned around and stopped by the coffee chain in the nearest building in severe need of caffeine to put up with continued bullshit. The long line up was a warmer welcome to him than returning to the library, so he sacrificed his impatience for people watching, and the strong debate between whether or not to get food with his drink.

  The shared stress on campus soothed him more than his individualized pain at home. He knew the boys noticed, and were trying to help, or do their best to distract and hang out as a group like nothing had changed, but in reality, their entire lives had.

  Their personalities were different, their priorities had altered, their worries now involved trivial things like what date to go on next, or what outfit they should wear to impress their girlfriend instead of what choreography they should plan to make the most of the stage, and the dreaded discussion of singledom summer holidays. Michael couldn’t stand that one. They’d only been seeing each other a few weeks, and the boys were already putting even more pressure on themselves considering how often they would be able to visit, and whether or not the distance would be hard on them, and how the break would affect the relationship.

  It was normal to do all of those things, but Michael was tired of hearing it constantly. He also was nervous to admit his dislike for the play-by-play descriptions of their dates. He could only hear about how perfect they were for so long before he wanted to hurl. Not to mention how the change in songs would affect them. There was plenty of experiences for them all to write about, and Michael was cautious about giving into the copious ‘got the girl’ love songs knowing that in reality, there would usually be breakup angst songs to follow. If it was difficult now, dealing with three moping boys who just got out of a relationship would be five times worse.

  They weren’t a boyband. And as much as it was normal to write songs about relationships, and follow up with breakup songs, he thought there was more to the world, and more that they could extent their song range toward. Breakups and relationships made everyone’s judgment cloudy. Having three out of the four boys currently tied down in lalaland, was going to be a mess if it all ended as unanimously as it began.

  Michael took his coffee and donut to go, and ventured back into the library, veering onto the stairs to the second floor where it was a bit more relaxed among the bookshelves and senior students who had mastered the art of grabbing quality study spots.

  He set up camp, and plugged in his headphones - mainly to drown out his own mind and focus on the words in front of him. He couldn’t afford to be the one who failed due to his best friends’ distractions.

  That would be far too ironic for his liking.

  ~

“Do you think Mikey’s gonna be alright?” Ashton piped up from behind the giant bowl of popcorn they’d started devouring.

  “He’ll be okay. I’m sure it’ll be better after he’s down his exam.” Calum smiled solemnly. “At least, I hope so.”

  Luke had been quiet since Michael left. Considering how close the two boys were, he’d spent a lot of time around Michael, and could see how hurt he was despite the smiles and advice he’d given them all. They all knew, but Luke felt even guiltier, since he’d been the one to give detailed responses about his fears, joys, and overall experiences. Michael’s opinions were important to him, and despite all the tormented teasing he received, he knew he was important to Michael too, and basically the younger brother Michael wanted to make sure was happy.

  “I think it’s harder because all of us have someone, and Michael’s the only one alone. He’s not really, he has us, and the girls like him, but it’s not the same.” Ashton shrugged, sympathizing with the situation Michael was in.

  “Okay, but we’ve tried, Ash. We’ve tried to lay off him, and leave him alone, or act like nothing happened, but that doesn’t change the fact that we all have a new person that we care about, and has impacted our lives. It’s not just four losers and their band anymore, and it won’t be for however long they keep dating us.” Calum reminded, trying to watch his tone. Lately he’d been snippy out of delayed reaction, knowing he had to watch his words carefully around the older boy. None of them wanted to overwhelm Michael with their love lives, but it was hard to keep quiet about someone that meant a great deal to you. It was hard to dim the happiness they all felt.

  “Michael knows that.” Luke muttered, keeping his eyes glued to the screen. They’d started off with a Toy Story marathon, thinking it would be a good compromise if Michael was watching with them - before he decided to abandon them to bury his head in textbooks instead.

  He knew perfectly well, why Michael had chosen that option, but it still hurt him that he chose school over his best friends. It had become that awkward.

  “Luke, it’s not anyone’s fault.” Calum sighed, “It’s just upsetting to watch him like this, when we can’t really do anything about it. I mean, we could set him up on a blind date, or make him a dating profile, but he won’t go along with any of that. Plus it’s practically summer now, and it’s not like flings would help much when we’re all in exclusive relationships.”

  “Technically not all of us. I for one don’t feel like sharing with my old family and ex high school friends that I’m ‘In a Relationship’ via Facebook.” Ashton argued, eye rolling at the thought of how chaotic that reality ends up being. Luckily, Sarah had been in complete agreement. The people who mattered knew, but they didn’t want their relationship broadcast over social media.

  “You know what I mean.” Calum scoffed, grabbing a handful of popcorn from Ashton’s lap and receiving a high pitched ‘HEY!’ in response.

  “What are we going to do? Michael ditched us to study. That’s how bad this is for him.” Luke confessed the reality they all knew was looming. “What if he keeps avoiding us?”

  “He won’t. He can’t do that. We won’t let him.” Ashton shut down that thought before Luke could continue.

  It was a fear they didn’t want to express in case it came true.

  “He already is!” Luke reminded, pulling his knees to his chest and crossing his arms around his calves.

  “We know…” Calum replied, clasping Ashton’s arm to keep him from retaliating again. “It’s not anyone’s fault,” He repeated, “but that doesn’t excuse the fact that it’s still happening.”

  “So what are we going to do about it?” Ashton sighed, setting the bowl on the coffee table in front of them, suddenly losing his appetite. “We can’t just think it’ll all be fixed when we hit the stage. If we’re already technically fighting - okay not fighting but avoiding each other and what’s really going on - we’re gonna suck if we can’t fix this before we get in front of an audience. If we’re not all in this, we’re gonna blow our chance. We’ve worked so hard to get to this point, and we can’t let anything ruin it. Michael would kill us if we fucked up the band because of girls… as shitty as that sounds…”

  “We’re not gonna fuck up the band.” Calum glared, watching Luke’s shoulders droop at the mention.

  “Ashton’s right. We can’t just stop talking about what’s going on and then play together in unison - we’re not in sync right now, we won’t be on stage either if we continue like this.” Luke answered, mumbling into his jean ripped knees.

  Ashton sunk against the couch, highly tempted to pull a Michael and leave the stress pit as well. “So what? We bomb his phone with apology texts? Go in and interrupt his ‘studying’ and distract him even more when he still has to write tonight? Take a break from dating until he’s okay again? We can’t fix him like that. We can’t tell him what he can and can’t do. It’s not fair to get mad at him for reacting like this. We don’t know exactly what he’s feeling, but it’s not fair to just assume and think we know what’s best for him.”

  Luke broke the momentary silence, “He knew what was best for us...Face it, he helped us even go for these relationships. That’s why this hurts so much. He helped us and we’re happy and he’s not.”

  ~

  Michael wasn’t the only one still suffering the woes of having their last exam at the last possible time on the last possible day. Considering he’d ventured into senior territory, he shouldn’t have been as surprised when a familiar face snagged the spot beside him with a grin.

  “I never thought I’d see you in a library.”

  “Go away. I’m studying.”

  Smirking at the boy who was so clearly out of place, she set her notebooks down on the table and set up camp, nevertheless fond to have the grumpy company.”Just your luck, so am I.”

  “Isn’t studying supposed to be … you know, silent?” Michael rolled his eyes, and proceeded to turn up the volume on his iPod.

  :( What got into you, grumpy gills?

  Glaring at the scribbled scrap of paper, Michael downed another few gulps of his coffee and tapped his pen to the beat.

  I have snacks

  Michael glanced at the new addition to the one sided note passing, and doused the urge to look intrigued. Food was like a peace offering, despite the fact no one had really done anything wrong to upset him, especially not the girl beside him - well, not intentionally, anyway.

  Your loss. You can endure my chip eating in tortured hunger pains.

  Michael returned the smirk at her last comment. Taking the note from in between them, he scribbled a response.

  What happened to being quiet in the library? Chip eating is loud with noisy bags.

  Ooh the sass. ;)

  Hi

  Hi

  This isn’t just exam stress is it?

  None of your business

  Traitor. I thought we were friends :(

  Michael didn’t answer that. Leaving the statement open for debate. He wasn’t entirely sure if he could call them all friends. It was weird, and tricky to be friends with people who could possibly break your best friend’s heart. You had to pick sides, and everything usually fell to shit. He had enough drama in that department, he didn’t want to focus on it anymore than he had to.

  He liked the girls well enough, but as much as everyone had tried to not make things complicated, the relationship between him and the boys had become a bit strained, and unrelatable. He felt his opinions were invalidated since he was the single one. He felt like he couldn’t connect to them the same way when conversations veered back to their relationships. He felt like he was just a nuisance, instead of a best friend.

  We can talk later

  He didn’t mean that, but it would keep her satisfied and hopefully she would stop being concerned. If she should be concerned about things, it should be her exam and her boyfriend. Not me. Michael thought.

  Setting a bag of chips on top of the scrap paper they’d been writing on, she left Michael alone, turning to her own highlighted notes.

  Michael watched her shoulders droop and felt a pang of guilt. He moved the peace offering and wrote another note.

  Thanks Sarah

  Michael poked her arm with his elbow, so she’d look at his reply. Sarah smiled back at him gently, “Anytime.”

  The two of them sat in silence for over an hour, tuning out to their headphones and reviewing notes in attempt to follow through with the treacherous task of memorizing content and inventing enough bullshit responses in essay writing to pass.

  But as any student knows, you can only sit and stare at words for so long before your brain starts to fry and need a break.

  “You want to get food?”

  Sarah pulled her headphones down to rest on her neck and looked at Michael, clearly not hearing the words he’d just spoken. “What?”

  “Do you wanna eat on campus?” He asked, knowing that he’d been fairly preoccupied all morning to eat anything substantial and likely wouldn’t make it through his exam if he didn’t eat dinner before. Plus food was a distraction and he couldn’t get enough of those.

  “Yeah, sure. But you better leave something here to hold your spot, or we’re going to lose it for the rest of the night. Or else ask someone to watch your stuff. It’s died down, but people still come in and cram in panics, so it’s better to be picky about your spot than lose it hours before you write.” Sarah advised, leaving a few textbooks but packing up her laptop and notes. Michael followed the advice, and hung his sweater along the back of his chair and left a few items on the table.

  “I’ll be glad when today’s over.” He sighed picking up his bag and smirking at the height difference between the two of them.

  Sarah picked up on the devious look and shut him down before he could start. “If you make one joke about how short I am, I am backing out of keeping you company, sophomore.”

  “Me? Never.” He scoffed, exaggerating his taken offence, and holding the door open above her head just for good measure.

  “I saw that.” Sarah remarked, passing underneath his arm nevertheless.

  “I didn’t say anything.” Michael teased, making sure to accent that he didn’t technically disobey anything.

  “What are we eating?” She asked, as they walked toward the campus cafeteria.

  “Something that will induce a food coma.” Michael shrugged, glancing at his phone and the dreaded countdown of an hour and forty-six minutes until he had to write his last exam.

  “10/10, Do not recommend. Eat something you’re used to, or else you’re going to be distracted or get sick and they don’t let you -”

  “Leave to go pee until basically an hour in, I know. I have written exams before.” Michael rolled his eyes to avoid the lectured reminder.

  “Disrespecting your elders, now?” Sarah smiled, knowing that the teasing helped improve his mood. You’d have to be oblivious to not notice that Michael was upset and he was showing little signs of that being strictly about schoolwork. “Let’s get pizza.”

  With Michael’s weakness revealed, she could possibly coax an answer out of him before he had to write that test, and maybe he’d be able to actually focus on what was crucially important tonight.

“You read my mind.” Michael smiled back, surprised how grateful he was for the unusual company.

  ~

  Harlee and Amber came over shortly after the boys ended their argument. The company was welcomed, especially since it was apparent Michael was out for the night, and no one felt like hiding secrets now that their relationships were fairly stable.

  “Do you really think setting him up with someone is a good idea? I mean, relationships aren’t everything, especially blind dates. It doesn’t fix everything to be paired up. Shit still happens whether you’re dating someone or not.” Harlee reminded the enthusiastic boys who’d thought the idea was brilliant.

  “It’s not like Michael’s the one to leave the house much in the summer - well all seasons, actually. Apart from band practices, he’s extroverted, sure, but he likes staying inside.” Calum shrugged, stating the truth, still in favour of matchmaking Michael.

  “So taking him out of his comfort zone and pairing him with some girl he doesn’t know will fix everything?” Harlee questioned, making it apparently clear whose side she was on.

  “He can’t spend all summer moping around either.”

  “Okay! No one is saying that will happen.” Ashton sighed, not liking that this conversation was turning into couples fight. “We all want to help him, but maybe we’re rushing into things…”

  “Like we all did with our relationships? Is that what you’re saying Ash?” Calum questioned bitterly, knowing he shouldn’t continue to lash out at everyone who cared about him, but the whole ordeal was taking its own toll on him.

  Calum sometimes cared too much about everything that he retaliated against everyone - either closing himself off, or letting his temper flare and catch everyone in the cross-fire.

  “No. That’s not what I’m saying, Calum.” Ashton protested, trying not to react to Calum’s frustrated tone and keep a neutral stance.

  “Why don’t you just ask him what’s bothering him, even though you all know?” Amber asked, wondering if the tactic would convince Michael to spill the beans.

  Luke shook his head and clasped his hand over hers. “He just avoids the truth. He’ll tell us what we want to hear, or make up an excuse and leave. That’s what he’s done all week especially…” Luke’s voice was quieter than usual, hoping that the softer tone would mask the regret and guilt he felt.

  He’d mentioned some of the scenario to Amber earlier, letting it slip that he’d felt the blame for Michael’s distress. She’d done her best to reassure him he likely hadn’t, but she couldn’t help but feel a part of the problem, too. Realistically, they were all involved, hence the group meeting.

  “Well, you can only let him avoid the truth for so long.” Harlee confessed, glancing at Calum and running their latest dramatic moments through her head.

  Staying in denial and avoiding the reality of situations only made them worse, and both of them began to doubt themselves and their relationship as a whole. Once they confronted each other and the big issue at hand, they worked things out.

  Michael was somewhat doing the same, and it would only make it worse later when the boys’ relationships continue to crumble.

  “Yeah, but how are we even going to get him to bring it up? Unless we sit him down and have an interrogation, he won’t tell us that he’s mad.” Calum shrugged, appreciating the sentiment, but knowing that it wasn’t as easy as they made it out to be.

  “And we’ve already tried to keep it just the four of us, and act like nothing’s changed.” Luke reminded, “It’s not enough.”

  “Hey, don’t say that.” Ashton frowned, “He needs time. And school stress isn’t helping. It’s a stupid time of year, maybe after tomorrow-”

  “The day of the gig?”

  “We can’t confront him then, he’ll walk off stage or something! That’s not fair!”

  “Well if we wait till after we could all fuck up the performance anyway! We aren’t talking; it’s three against one! We can’t go on stage like this!”

  “Calm down.”

  “Stop yelling!”

  “This isn’t getting us anywhere!”

  Ashton’s cymbal reverberated around the room, silencing the argumentative voices. Amber bit her lip and set the drumstick back on the snare drum and apologized. “Sorry… you just … yelling isn’t going to make it any easy to understand what the best solution is. Just hear each other out. Hear Michael out if he lets you. You guys are incredibly close and we’d all hate for you to lose that.”

“You want drum lessons?” Ashton smiled, breaking the tension and causing a few tentative laughs to slip out.

  ~

  “So, I know you all mean well, but it’s fucking bullshit. It’s overwhelming when you’re all lovey-dovey and coupley. And it’s even worse when you avoid each other like the plague and have dumb text message conversations and think I don’t notice that you’re glued to your phones because ‘Oh we can’t go on a date because it might upset Michael’! Fuck that… I mean, I get it, but it’s just awkward and overly nice, you know? It’s not anyone’s fault that I’m single. Maybe mine, but that doesn’t mean everyone needs to treat me like we’re at a funeral or something.”

  Once he’d gotten a few slices into his stomach, Michael started talking. Relieved as she was, Sarah didn’t dare interrupt his run-on sentence confessions, in case he retaliated and shut up completely.

  It would’ve been great if he’d told the boys this instead of her, but at least he was telling somebody, and not bottling it all up. She knew about the awkwardness lately, they all did. No one knew what to do about it, and whenever the topic was brought up, Michael physically left the conversation.

  “Plus I think Luke hates himself because we used to talk a lot about him and Amber, and now that I just stopped, he thinks it’s because of him, and is really shy and we all broke him away from that - so I think I just made everyone worse. And we’re all fighting but not really fighting and we have to fucking play on stage in two nights, and we’re a mess. It’s all my fault and I don’t even know how to fix it. I don’t even know why I’m so upset. I just hate this shit.”

  Michael sighed, pausing in his rant to down a portion of his energy drink that he’d been advised against, and neglected to listen. “I don’t know - fuck - sorry… I just - I don’t fucking know anymore.”

  Sarah flashed a sympathetic smile his way as he took another slice from their pizza box. “News flash, none of us do.” She confessed cynically, but shrugged and offered an attempt at wisdom, “None of us asked for this to happen, let alone think it would happen to three of us – well six – all at the same time. I know they’ve tried to leave you be, and even thought about finding you someone, but no matter what anyone says, and no matter how fucking much society shoves it down our throats, relationships aren’t a be all end all thing.

  “They don’t solve world issues, or make things easier or better. They skew reality a bit, but eventually you get used to what it’s like to be around that person and rely on them, yeah, but you still have the same problems as you did when you were single, and sometimes even more because you have another important person in your life, and all the lovely relationship problems that go along with being with someone.

“And fuck, I mean, look at our stellar timing. I know you heard it all, and helped give advice about it, but it’s not perfect for any of us – maybe Luke and Amber because they’re the same age – but it’s still not great timing, but if you keep looking at the bad things, you miss all the good ones.”

  “Oh wise ancestor, please continue to share your honourable knowledge.”

  “Shut up, Mikey. I can’t fix it for you. No one can. It’s just happened like this, but you guys’ friendship is more important than us girls. You don’t get that lucky to have best friends like those boys, often, if ever. Plus, you’ve said how important your band is, and I would hate for you to lose it over a stupid fight when you’re in college. In the long run, we won’t matter.

  “You can write songs about our breakups, but you four will be together until you’re senile and old and bickering in a nursing home fighting about the glory days on a tour bus. Don’t give that up for anyone.” Sarah confessed, watching the smirk light up his face.

  “I should tell Ashton you said that.”

  “Go ahead; he already knows I’m as bitter as the coffee he pours me.” Sarah smirked back. “But I mean that. Don’t rip them a new one, but if you just tell them that you don’t want them pussyfooting around you anymore, I’m sure they’ll be grateful you spoke your mind.

  “Write your damn exam, go back and pull an all-nighter being idiots and talking about feelings and then practice your setlist and rock that stage. You can’t fuck it up now when you came this far.” Grabbing the last slice from the box, she sat back in her chair satisfied. “Wise ancestor, out.”

  “What does Ashton even see in you?” Michael teased, flicking the pop tab on his drink can.

  “I don’t really know. He must just have a thing for coffee drinking cougars.” Sarah suggested with a straight face, lasting for a total of seven seconds before bursting out laughing at her own joke.

  ~

  The tension had started to wither, and the movie marathon had started up again. As much as they all felt some trace of blame, arguing and attempting to plan a solution on behalf of someone else would not solve any of their problems.

  If they had to continue to give Michael some space, at least until he returned home after his exam, then so be it. Hopefully, he’d be in a better mood, and they could repair their friendships in time for the show.

  With most traces of food abandoned, food was ordered and delivered to everyone’s lazy selves.

Harlee spoke the feeling they’d all been withholding surrounding the finality of the school year, “I’m so glad this year’s over.”

  “Wishing us away so quickly?” Luke teased from where he was sitting on the floor, keeping Amber territorially in his lap after Ashton had attempted to abduct her for drum lessons.

  “I don’t mean you, obviously.” Harlee scoffed, strongly biased that the boys had made her year worthwhile. “I am just so done with this semester. Well, technically school altogether, even though I’m coming back.”

  There were murmurs of agreement, before Calum flashed a grin, “I for one am glad you’re not done for good.”

  “Wow, didn’t expect that one at all.” Luke smirked, earning a smack across the back of his head.

  “You’re not the only one who gets to be sick-inducingly cute.” Calum retorted, drawing his hands back to slip in Harlee’s once more.

  “What’s the setlist for the day after tomorrow?” Amber asked, tilting her head which was resting on Luke’s chest, to get a glimpse of the characters overtaking the couch.

  They’d been referring to the gig as “The Day After Tomorrow” after Harlee had cracked a joke about the film reference.

  “Some originals, some covers, you know.. the usual.” Ashton waved his hand casually, but ended up scurrying off the couch corner to go retrieve it.

  “I’m excited to finally watch you guys live. I feel like we’ve been talking about it for so long, it’s weird that it’s actually going to happen.” Amber commented with an encouraging smile.

  “The more you say it, the scarier it gets.” Calum shuddered. “I’m still nervous we’re going to mess up. It doesn’t feel real, yet.”

  Harlee patted his head and pulled him in for a cuddle. “You’ll be awesome. Don’t freak out so much. You guys have all worked your asses off for this.”

  “Yeah…” Luke agreed, still wary about the aura of ‘official’ the gig brought with it.

  Ashton burst into the room, a little overly excited, waving the paper above his head.  “Okay! Setlist! First we’re playing-”

  “Spoiler alert.”

  “Shut up Cal.”

  “Don’t tell my boyfriend to shut up.”

  “You said it out loud - Boyfriend.”

  “Excuse you I was talking!” Ashton pouted at the constant interruptions before setting the list in Amber’s lap and sitting in front of the tv, cross legged in anticipation for her thoughts.

  The girls had heard a mix of their songs, but there were still some new ones they’d not gotten the chance to listen to yet, so it was nice to have the element of surprise included.

  The group had stayed up waiting for Michael to return, turning in anxiousness as the door opened.

  “I’m back. bitches.”

  “And we brought alcohol.”

  Ashton’s attention heightened at the sound of his girlfriend’s voice. “What are you doing here?”

  “Swaying your judgments with celebratory liquor.” Sarah grinned, holding up the bags of alcohol.

  “You didn’t text me all day! Do you know how torturous that was?” Ashton pouted, taking the bags from her hands and placing them on the floor to envelope her in a hug.

  “I have to keep you on your toes somehow.” She grinned, tightening her grip around his waist.

  “How’d it go?” Ashton asked, glancing between the two latecomers.

  “I got bribed with pizza and sassy wisdom.” Michael shrugged, attempting to hide a smirk as he elbowed Sarah in the shoulder blades, passing to join the party in the living room. “You had pizza without me?” He frowned noticing the empty boxes littered on the floor.

  “You just said you got bribed with pizza!” Harlee pointed out, knowing someone had to break the silence.

  “I can always eat more pizza.” Michael promised, stealing Ashton’s spot and eye rolling at the boys. “Don’t you know it’s rude to stare?” He exaggerated, making Luke crack a smile.

  “I’m sorry for making things weird.” Luke confessed, earning an equally apologetic comment from Calum.

  “We all are. We didn’t mean to make things awkward, and we understand that maybe we don’t know what’s best for you and -”

  “I forgive you - not like you did anything wrong, but.. yeah. Just leave it. We can talk later. I just want to sleep after that hell-hole of an exam.” Michael smiled gently at the two of them. “Thanks though… Okay, real question is, who cried during Toy Story 3?”

  “Luke.”

  “Calum.”

  “Me.”

  “Who doesn’t cry during that movie?”

  Michael smirked at the reactions, and settled into the couch, winking at Ashton as he came back into the room with a frown at his kidnapped spot.

  “What did you do to him?” He whispered as he sat near Luke and Amber instead.

  Sarah just shrugged and sat next to him pulling out her phone. ‘Dear neglected boyfriend, I’ll tell you tomorrow. I think Michael needs the chance to talk to you boys first.’

  Ashton fished his phone out of his pocket and smiled at the screen. ‘I owe you.’

  Sarah smiled back “I’ll think up some good forms of payback.”

  “Let’s get that alcohol open, shall we?” Calum suggested, as Amber started removing the selection from the bags and distributing around.

  “Anyone need glasses?” She asked, and Luke moved to gather up some from the kitchen.

  The rest of the evening was spend crashing by the television finishing the plans from earlier to waste away any further troubles by the nostalgic fixes of Disney and a few mind-numbing drinks.

  ~

  [The Day After Tomorrow - Aka The Gig]

  “Fuck, I’m nervous.” Calum confessed the unanimous sentiment as they peeked behind the speakers to glance at the crowd. His fingers strained around the neck of his bass as he estimated just how many people were shoved into the outdoor makeshift arena.

“I didn’t think we were gonna make it to this stage.” Luke replied, lips curling into a grin at the pun habit that had rubbed off from Amber.

  “Shut up, Luke. Only your girlfriend thinks those are funny.” Michael teased, running his fingers through his lilac locks.

  “Where is she? I don’t see them.” Calum asked, eyes darting throughout the crowd in search of the familiar face that managed to calm his nerves.

  “Maybe it’s a good thing. I think I’ll mess up if I know where they are.. Too much pressure..” Ashton shook his head, getting antsy as the current band started ending their set. He had already got scolded for tapping his drumsticks on surfaces they weren’t meant to hit, so he’d resorted to ‘fixing’ his hair and rearranging his bandana about ten times in the last fifteen minutes.

  “Stop doing that, it’s fine and will get sweaty anyway.” Luke frowned at Ashton’s current nervous habit.

  The current band took their bows, and exited on the other side of the stage. They were soon replaced by the show announcer who introduced 5 Seconds of Summer, causing the boys to practically shit their pants.

  This was it. This was really happening.

  After the initial shaky start, the boys got back in their natural element on stage. Cover songs were fun to play since the crowd sang along with them, since the lyrics were familiar. Energies were high and infectious, and it seemed that the crowd enjoyed their sound.

  A few songs in, the boys found the location of the three supporters who knew the words to their songs, and had no shame in belting them out. The confidence boost did them wonders, eliciting a guitar solo from Calum and some more synchronized jumps around stage.

  Slowing things down, they introduced Amnesia and the crowd was putty in their hands. The atmosphere was nostalgic and sorrowful like any sad love song, and it was nice to see the united arm waving and repeated choruses sang back to them.

  This is what they were meant for.

  Screw the studying, screw the copious amounts of stress focused on theory and useless knowledge they’d never need to know again. Making people happy with their own music was all they could ever want.

  Michael introduced Good Girls to break up the sadness and get the crowd giddy again. They spent a minute or so stating their thoughts about the theme of the song, and asking just how many of the crowd were ‘bad girls that haven’t been caught’ - causing a roar of screams to flood the outdoor arena.

  After the first verse, things got a little more crowded as people moved their way towards the front of the stage. They gathered a few more listeners as the audience grew. A few cameras flashed among the fist pumping and various dance moves.

  It was hard to believe that the day had finally come and was now coming to an end. It was their first live show in front of a large crowd and sadly they didn’t get a large setlist considering the event combined multiple artists.

  They introduced their final song, thanking the crowd and saying their goodbyes, not wanting to leave the stage willingly.

  From the crowd engagement they’d received, the boys were glowing when they headed backstage.

  “That was fucking awesome!”

  “Did you see how nuts they went?”

  “I think they actually liked us.”

  “I’m quitting school. Banding all day every day.”

  Highfives and hugs aside, they all remained in a state of euphoria as they arrived back in the building to shower and change. Since it was early days, they didn’t officially have a meet and greet, but weren’t against bumping into fans while they spent the rest of the afternoon watching their fellow performers.

  A small group was gathered in the front lobby, chatting with the girls - swapping rumoured horror stories and genuine compliments about the boys’ performances.

  As excited as they were, the boys were humbled to have some people care enough to talk to them in person.

  After a few selfies and signed autographs, the groupies deteriorated leaving a sparse few and their girlfriends.

  “Actually, I wanted to talk to Michael. You were really good up there.”

  Michael turned to the complimentary voice, fingers adjusting his fringe. “T-Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed us losers.” He shrugged, hoping he didn’t sound as whimpy as he thought he did.

  He had minorly adjusted his self-esteem after talking with the boys, but there was still a bitter ping in the back of his mind that he wasn’t as great in comparison to his best friends.

  The shock of being addressed directly was clearly evident on his face, reminiscent of a surprised kitten. (a/n: this is all i can think of)

  “You losers owned that stage.” She grinned, holding out her hand which Michael just stared at. “I’m Courtney.”

  “Michael.” He answered, tentatively taking her hand and holding it for a few seconds too long.

  “I know.” Courtney smiled, “So what are you doing now that your set’s over?” She asked glancing at the tattoos that marked his knuckles.

  “I think we’re gonna get some food, watch the rest-”

  “She said you, you idiot.” Calum interjected, elbowing him in the bicep as he walked off with Harlee in the direction of the food court.

  “Uh, what are you doing?” Michael backtracked, hoping his fringe could hide his embarrassment.

  “I like food.” Courtney hinted, scuffing her converse clad toes together.

  “Would you want to go.. with me . .then?” Michael questioned slowly, not fully trusting that he wasn’t being set up by his so-called friends.

  “What a great idea.” She smirked at his expression before lacing her arm in his and following the rest of them toward the food court.

  ~

  After the initial awkwardness and tentative shyness, the pair of them managed to find common ground and basically exist in their own world, oblivious to the rest of the conversation occurring at the other end of the table.

  “And you’re sure you didn’t plan this?” Harlee questioned with a raised eyebrow of suspicion, mainly focused in her boyfriend’s direction.

  “I swear!” Calum scoffed in offence. “Why don’t you believe me? We didn’t have time to plan this.”

“It’s true. We spent yesterday in bromance-ville and this morning consisted of crammed practicing and outfit choosing.” Ashton agreed, causing Luke to grin.

  “Ashton was ‘outfit choosing’ up until we went on stage.”

  Ashton poked him with a plastic fork.

  “Your boyfriend’s really picky. How did he end up settling on you?” Luke sassed out in retaliation to the violence.

  “Lucas!” Amber exclaimed, turning to apologize to the girl who was already slump against the table in laughter.

  “Not only are you now punny, you turned into the sassmaster.” Sarah answered managing to sit back in her chair only to start giggling again as Luke smirked at her.

  Ashton broke his pouting tantrum but kicked Luke’s foot under the table for good measure.

  “Hey!”  Luke glared in annoyance and scooted his chair away from Ashton’s reach.

  “Ah yes, remind me why I’m dating an immature idiot?” Sarah smirked at Ashton and made him apologize.

  “When do we get copies of your pictures?” Calum asked, leaning around Ashton to direct his question to Amber.

  “I can put them up digitally after I watermark them, but I’ll get the printed copies to you in a few weeks - in the mail, I guess.” She replied, remembering that it wouldn’t be as easy to visit everyone the same amount as they did when they all lived close.

  “Don’t be silly, I’ll come get them.” Luke protested, “And then we can just make an extended trip of delivery and I can stay the weekend.”

  “I think we should plan a road trip.” Harlee suggested, knowing it would be a good and bad idea to pile everyone into a vehicle in the summer heat.

  “Well I call shotgun!” Michael exclaimed from the end of the table, apparently eavesdropping on the entire conversation with sonic hearing.

  “What? Since when were you a part of this conversation?” Calum frowned, “I was gonna be shotgun…”

  “Called it.” Michael grinned, “And Court’s coming. Right?” He turned to confirm the invitation.

“Sure, as long as we all get a say in the music selection.” She agreed, nibbling on Michael’s french fries as his attention was diverted back to the boys.

  “It’s settled then. We’re roadtripping it.” Ashton confirmed. “And I’m filming-”

  “No. No way! You’re gonna be filming at obscene hours and wake us up and be all ‘NATURE’S AWAKE, SO ARE YOU!’ No. Put the phone away.” Harlee interrupted, clearly knowing the boy well enough now to continue down the friendly insult train.

  “I would not.”

  “You would, Ash.” Sarah smirked knowingly.

  “Okay, compromise, I film during the day hours-”

  “We don’t need our whole life documented.”

  “But people love behind the scenes videos!”

  “Not about bands that aren’t even cool!”

  “Plus behind the scenes consists of you solely getting us all to chip in on commentary, so it’s basically just you being the lonewolf.”

  “It’s not my fault you’re all spoilsports.”

  ~

  Summer holidays weren’t all that bad. There were the evident days of heartache, and boredom, but they’d managed to budget their time wisely enough to solve the distance issues and hang out like nothing had changed.

  Band practices grew more regularly, and song writing flew with plenty of inspiration and confidence. When course selection rolled around, the boys ended up swaying into more artistic courses, and voiced up their preferred direction toward music instead of traditional secure careers.

  There were a few realistically bumpy roads with everyone’s relationship over the holiday break, but no arguments that couldn’t be fixed or compromised on. The road trip had happened, earning a car breakdown on the side of the road, fights over audio volume, the coincidental video documenting, plenty of food comas off unhealthy snacks, and some complaining over sleeping arrangements, but it had been a refreshing experience to get back together for one last hoorah before school returned.

Michael and Courtney had never made anything official, but were practically attached at the hip over the few visits they had. Otherwise, red-rimmed eyes of exhaustion were Michael’s signature accessory from late nights on video calls that he refused to end first.

  Harlee and Calum had sorted out a few days around their upcoming schedule around Harlee’s Masters courses, and the increasing workload she’d receive with furthering her education, as well as giving Calum a more extensive knowledge base on law instead of the stereotypical film representation, and his warnings that her powers as a lawyer shouldn’t drive her to commit any murderous crimes.

  Amber and Luke had become a force to be reckoned with, and Liz had practically adopted her into the family. She received the full Hemmings’ family approval, along with a few fatherly jokes about when the date was for their non-existent wedding.

  Sarah and Ashton had managed to follow the rules of not working with your significant other (against Ashton’s request) and she’d started working for the campus administration so at least they were somewhat close to each other, and she had to endure the numerous bribes from the boys to sneak them better grades in the new year.