#white standard

19 Elegant White Standard Pillow Shams

outlast temperature regulating pillowcases products pinterest outlast temperature regulating cotton blend pillowcases set of 2 standard white via pinterest.com

Ever since I was a child, my family has found some aspect of my physical appearance to criticize. Upon entering a relative’s home in India, greetings were generally along the lines of, “So good to see you! You’ve gained a little weight haven’t you?” or “Have you considered doing yoga? It’s great for weight loss!” The irony in all of this was often that the people who were “encouraging” me, tended to be a bit overweight themselves. But of course, being the good Indian girl that I am, I couldn’t call them out on their hypocrisy because, at the end of the day, they were my elders and were thus supposed to be respected. Ah, the beauty of South Asian culture – apparently respect is only a one-way street. 

If you can’t tell, the resentment runs deep, but this post isn’t about me or my insult-happy family. But my experience is one that a lot of South Asians – guys and girls – can relate to. Physical appearance is a big deal to a lot of South Asian people, and it’s not something we can attribute to previous generations. Gen X South Asians are just as guilty of it. I can think of situations where someone is referred to as being too dark – as if that’s an awful quality. Or someone who constantly admires a peer’s curly hair, while personally straightening her own hair daily.  You could argue that this is just a problem of human kind in general. What does this have to do with brown people? Well the fact is, is that brown people hold themselves to what I like to call the White is Right Standard. Despite our pride in our heritage (at least for some of us anyway), we are incredibly obsessed with holding ourselves to a White standard of beauty. We work so hard to have the long, straight, shiny hair; the hairless bodies; the lighter skin. But this is not who or what South Asians are. There is nothing wrong with thick, curly hair. Shockingly enough, thick eyebrows are often the look top designers go for – Tom Ford states that  “Brows must be groomed and natural looking,” and he is one of the most respected men in fashion! But why do we continue to obsess over a standard of beauty that is unreasonable for us? And why, most importantly, does our generation, which supposedly cares more about substance and personality, hold each other to this impossible standard? 

I won’t lie, I’m guilty of doing this too. I know that I’ve said that someone is too dark, or that their hair is too bushy. But the fact of the matter is that I, too, share many of those qualities. Is this me projecting my own insecurities? Or am I really just ashamed of my South Asian look? Quite frankly, I think it’s a little bit of both, and it all started with my curly hair. When I was younger, I had long, brown hair that curled at the ends. My aunt used to call them angel curls because they looked perfect. But from an early age, my hair was always in a long, thick braid that ran down my back. My mom said that open hair didn’t look good, especially because it was curly. So as I grew up, I never left my hair open because, according to my parents, I didn’t look good with curly hair. Fast forward to the 11th grade, when I decided one day, to let my hair air dry and leave it open. And holy crap did people have things to say about it. “Oh my God Vidhi! Your hair! It’s so curly and beautiful!” was one of the first, and it didn’t end there. All this time, my parents gave me dirty looks, and emphasized that they knew best how I looked. So while I began to embrace my curly hair at school and with White people (who apparently love curly hair…), I was still expected to straighten my hair for Indian parties. My parents were more than happy to wait the 1.5 hours it would take me to straighten my hair. And I came to the conclusion, that the reason straight hair was so sought after was because it’s the kind of hair most white people had. And this realization did not make me happy at all. So, in an act of complete rebellion, I took advantage of attending a party where I met my parents there, rather than walk in with them. And I did so with my curly hair. I wore it proudly, despite my parents'shock, and have pretty much done so every day since. And also thank Him for the myriad of products created by mankind to help you tame those unruly curls J