#white reader

POP

Your pop tarts jumped out of the toaster, interrupting your scholarly musings. You happily set them on your plate and sat at the kitchen island. “Dammit, I forgot milk...” not wanting to get up to go the fridge, you ate. When you got to your second PopTart, Bucky walked into the kitchen, looking like a zombie. He put his own PopTarts into the toaster and as if reading your mind he set a glass of milk in front of you, and then poured himself one too.

“Thanks” you mumbled through a mouthful

He simply hummed what sounded like “mhm”. He sat down next to you and rested his head on his hand, clearly trying not to fall asleep. It was then you realized you’ve never seen him awake at 5:00 before, he usually didn’t wake up until 9:30 at least. “Did he wake up now... for me?” You thought to yourself.

“Bucky?”

No answer.

“Bucky?”

No answer. You carefully examined his face, “he can’t be sleeping can he?” He was.

“Bucky wake up, your poptarts are done!”

You sighed and tried to shake him awake but he simply wouldn’t. You tried to push him off of his seat but with only one good arm there was no way you could. You wrapped a blanket around him and set his beautiful head on a pillow, hoping that would be enough to help him sleep.

You hadn’t seen Bucky for the rest of the day but judging by the lunch at your door you knew he woke up. After you finished watching |show/movie of your choice| you ventured into the kitchen once again to get dinner. You could smell something delicious from down the hall and when you got to the doorway you watched as Bucky read the recipe in his hand and added ingredients to what he was making. The sight of him doing simple, domestic things warmed your heart, and he was doing it all for you. He’d barely spoken to you and here he was making you dinner.

You walked into the kitchen and sat at the island for the second time that day. “What are you making?”

“|your favorite food|, that’s your favorite right?”

“Uh- yeah, it- it is.” You blushed and couldn’t help but smile. “He remembered? How did he remember that? He never talks to me”

He noticed your blush and smile and it made his insides turn over. “Ok Buck, don’t screw this up. Just show her/him/them you care, it’s simple! She’ll/he’ll/they’ll love you in no time... right? Oh jeez, doll, please don’t mess with your hair like that you’re killing me.”

Upon deciding it was too quiet for your liking, you hooked your phone up to FRIDAY’s speakers and played some quiet tunes. You chose a week long playlist comprised of songs from the 40’s and hit shuffle. Bucky smiled as he immediately recognized the style of music he longed so much, and while he actually didn’t know this particular song, he liked it. The song was romantic, maybe a little too much for the situation but he didn’t seem to mind, and you didn’t mind that much either.

When dinner was served you sat down across from him and couldn’t help but be amazed by his cooking. “This is amazing! When did you learn to cook like this?”

“Well... when I was a teenager my grandma got sick and my mom was taking care of her and my sister was too young to be trusted with knives, you know? So I cooked for everybody...”

“Oh... wow, that’s- that’s really sweet of you.”

He gave you a weak smile and started eating. After a few minutes of him trying to calm his nerves he continued the conversation which led into a night of talking, laughing and perhaps a hint of flirting. He immediately regretted never having the courage to talk to you like he wanted to before, he always thought you wouldn’t like him.

After a long night you turned off the music and headed to bed, and Bucky did the same. For the first week this cycle had started, Bucky would wake up early and eat breakfast with you, fall asleep on the couch, drop lunch by your door and then cook you an amazing dinner and you’d talk with him for hours. That all changed on Sunday, exactly a week since the team left.

Cold. Ice cold. Snow and blood was all around Bucky, and he couldn’t move. He was laying on the ground, his arm long gone. FLASH. Electricity coursed throughout his whole body, his muscles ached and he just wanted this torture to end. “You’ll never wipe me!” The only response he got was a laugh, sick and twisted. FLASH. The sniper in his hand moved to aim, his eyes peered through the scope and his fingers took the shot. His targets were everyone he’d come to know as his friends. He was forced to kill them, his body acting without his consent, he couldn’t feel anything but pain as he was trapped in his mind. He tried to scream and force himself out of this twisted torture his mind had conjured up but nothing seemed to work until he got to the last target... you. His screams finally broke free and he woke up, at last. He was dripping in sweat and he frantically punched and kicked in all directions around him, knocking over the lamp beside him, broken glass everywhere. When he regained some sense of self he realized where he was, his cheeks became soaked in tears and he wrapped his arms around his knees, desperate to disappear.

A blood curdling scream woke you up from your sleep, it was closely followed by a crash which caused you to jolt out of your bed. You remembered Wanda mentioning something about feeling pain from so many different people at night, and that she filled their heads with her dreams the best she could. Without her here now to distract Bucky’s tortured mind you knew he was forced to see something terrible. You sprinted down the hall and burst into his room, flicking the light switch to see what happened.

You saw Bucky, with his head buried in his knee and covered in sweat. There was glass covering the ground, and you could see it was from what used to be his bedside lamp. You walked around the area of where the glass was and crawled onto Bucky’s bed. As you got next to him you could hear his muffled sobs and the whirring of his arm.

“Bucky? What happened?”

He didn’t answer and he didn’t move. You had no idea how to approach this situation. He was shaking and unresponsive. The only thing you could think of was to unwrap his arms from his legs and wrap yourself around him. So that’s what you did. He cried into your chest as you held him, he seemed so small and afraid, like he could be broken by the lightest tap.

“Bucky, you need to calm down.... how about a bath?”

You felt him nod his head and you slowly lifted him off of you, guiding him into the bathroom. He stood at the door, watching you through glazed eyes as you got the water to a tolerable temperature and made it bubbly.

“Can you wash up while I clean the glass?”

He just stared into space, unable to move or form sentences. You tilted his head so he looked at you, he was trying his hardest not to break down and collapse on the floor crying.

“...yeah...”

Satisfied with his response you left the bathroom, closing the door behind you. You threw the big chunks of glass in the garbage can and vacuumed the little ones. When you were done you set a change of clothes on his bed and waited outside his room. After a while he opened the door and you turned to look at him. He was still crying, his eyes glued to the floor.

“Thank you” he said, his voice just a shaky, rough whisper.

You grabbed his hand and pulled him towards your room, he didn’t try to stop you, mostly because he lacked the will to do so. That didn’t stop him from protesting through words though.

“What are you doing?”

“You’re sleeping with me.” You said casually, there was no way you’d let him be alone with his thoughts again.

“No! You’ve already done enough!”

You stopped walking and stared straight into his soul, “Bucky, there’s no way I’m going to allow you to deal with that again. Do you understand?”

He gulped and nodded, allowing you to get him comfortable in your bed. You sat next to him and wrapped him safely in your arms. He fell asleep rather quickly, your warmth fighting off the chill of his dreams.

You woke up tangled with Bucky, and part of you wished it was in a different context, a romantic one. That whole day he was reserved and quiet, no one but Steve or Sam had seen him that vulnerable and he felt indebted to you for taking care of him. He just didn’t know how you would think of him after this. But when night came and you insisted he sleep in your room again he was surprised, and after a little convincing he agreed. This had become the new cycle, you both waking up together, eating breakfast, doing whatever you wanted to do that day, him making you lunch and then eventually dinner and then falling asleep in each others arms.

To say that neither of you wanted this month to end would be an understatement. You’d fallen in love by simply sharing stories during dinner and sharing warmth at night, you didn’t want anything to ruin that. And you wanted to make sure Bucky knew that. He felt the same way, he’d always loved you though, and the only way he knew how to show you was by making you food that increasingly complex and delicious.

Tomorrow morning the team was going to come back, and this life you’d gotten so used to was going to end. You were sitting on the couch with Bucky, you in his arms while The Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring was on the tv. You could tell Bucky was enjoying himself, and the soft smile he wore was priceless. He noticed your staring and looked down at you.

“What is it, doll?”

“Nothing, it’s just... when everyone comes back I don’t want what we have to end.”

Bucky’s smile grew, but he wasn’t exactly sure what “we have” was.

“I don’t either... but wh- how- what do we have?”

You smiled and gave him a soft kiss, the answer to that question was so simple.

“Love”

“Awwww, that’s adorable!” Wanda exclaimed from the doorway.

“Wanda? Oh my-“

Your face and Bucky’s face were flushed as you both scrambled to separate. Almost everyone was packed in the large doorway just watching you two confess your feelings.

“How did one month make you two go from strangers to a married couple?” Sam asked

“Sam!” Bucky yelled

“Oh shoosh Sam, look how cute they are together.” Natasha said, laughing

“I swear to god, Barnes, if I find your spend anywhere you’re dead!” Tony said.

At this point you were hiding behind the couch cushions and Bucky was creating a blanket tent to join you. The rest of the team eventually left and washed up, but not after teasing you both to their hearts content.