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My annoying but manageable chest infection turned into a raging fever that still hasn't broken 😭
And I've had to postpone a physio appointment I've been waiting months for and I'm gutted.
I hate being regular ill on top of the chronic stuff, I'm feeling very sorry for myself :(((
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im so stressed at work today that my stomach is upset over it. which has never happened at this job (because THIS SHIT DOESN'T MATTER) and im honestly pissed about it. they are stressing me out about this bullshit for no fucking reason
i just made this up as i went along hehe inspired by cotyledon tomentosa - lil bear paw plants
i do want to make a new body for male v but then i think of having to resize clothes and cyberware and im just nope nah dont wanna do all that
i want something not as buff as gymfiend but slightly more than vanilla...
KITTEN COMPILATION
the first 2 babies knowing exactly what's good
little sister doing a sleepy roll and taking a few bobbly steps
spriggy staring adoringly at her sleeping pile of kittens
babies brawling blindly at breakfast
little brother (underneath) yells at his sister (on top). she started it.
little bigheads
enthusiastic but ineffective attempts at ambulatory maneuvers
just some cute squirmy and squeaky moments
a trivial and unimportant disclaimer...or possibly me just having a whinge, ignore at leisure:
when we realized she was preggy i made her a very special birthing box with a lid and little cut outs and flaps so she could feel safe and secure.
i also made it aesthetic and portable.
Spriggy instead tried to give birth ON my husband IN the bed, but i wasn't there so he decided to spread the ugliest towels and blankets he could find in a dark corner next to the bed and used the birthing box to close off the space. bear in mind we sleep in a caravan so visitors must now drape themselves across our bed to peer down into the kitten cave (:
this is why everything looks like it was filmed with potato. i'm sorry children, i would never have given you red, pink and blue with a splash of khaki. but in spite of my aesthetic disappointments i am obviously just delighted that they came without difficulty and seem to be doubling in size every other day. piuu piiiuuuu kittens, piuu piiiu.
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Today was mom's birthday and it did not go how I envisioned it even a little. It sucked lol. There's been ongoing issues with her catheter because her case manager never put in the order the home health nurse asked for. So that caused a headache all day.
But there are silver linings. I drove to pick up her cake (didn't get the chance to light a candle or sing or eat it or anything tho). I didn't hit anybody or run into anything. It helped my anxiety about the driving test next week. Just a little.
Also! Mom's case manager apparently doesn't work at the home health agency anymore lolll. Literally talked to her yesterday on the phone too. Annoying we have to bring the replacement up to speed but the original lady was so incompetent it wasn't funny. Apparently mom's nurse lit into her about not putting in orders. I wonder if that had anything to do with her quitting? Being fired? Whatever happened there.
So there were some good things. But I am so, so exhausted. I'm tired all the time. Anxious and nervous all the time. I've had a few breakdowns. I'm just tired of things going wrong or not being simple to fix. Mom's paralysis is stressful enough, we don't need the extra bullshit, and yet, bullshit is what we get. Constantly.
And now my work is going to require us to work on campus more often because the pandemic is over apparently. I'm going to talk to HR about FML next week. Another stressor on my overloaded plate.
Hit a brick wall with stat coding today and I just...
i am... i feel scoured clean. empty inside. i’ve been trying to begin watching the latest titans episode to write the recap but work has been so goddamn shitty this week and i can’t clear my mind enough to focus. so... tomorrow, hopefully? hopefully.
