#wheee first chapter

It was a casual day at the Mushroom Kingdom Police Department.

Casual meaning that almost every unit was dispatched to a wild police chase throughout the whole city which would no doubt end in a several crashes and hospital bills.

Exactly why Detective Wren decided to stay in, given he had little interest in getting sick throughout all the twists and turns of the chase again anyway.

Having made himself a cup of coffee, he now walked out the front door to get some fresh air-

-only to jump back when he saw a suspicious black package on the floor.

Muttering a curse, Wren took off his hat, sighed and turned around.

“HEY HAL!”

From deep within the station could be hard a very muffled “Here!” of the police chief though he didn’t come out himself.

Wren knew he would come in a few seconds anyway.

“I THINK SOMEONE LEFT A BOMB ON OUR FRONT DOOR AGAIN!”

Leaning against the door, he listened to the immediate closer coming footsteps that were promptly followed by a man with a monitor head displaying a truly angered face, teeth gritted and eyes shot and all.

“Again?! The generation these days, no respect for the law enforcement!”, Hal growled, scanning the street in front of them as if expecting to spy the culprit.

“I mean at least they chose a different package format this time? Black is new.”, Wren drawled, scratching his head. “So do we call bomb squad?”

The chief’s screen changed from angered to a smiling face, as he made dismissive gesture.

“Oh no worries detective, we are perfectly qualified for this after the last squad decided to go freelance and use their skills for terrorism!”

“Ahhh so that’s why they were on our wanted board, got’cha.”, Wren sighed. “You need help on that case?”

“No need, friend! I know their address already.”, Hal smiled as if not planning to commit manslaughter on several counts in the name of justice later this day.

“Right, so about this package-“

“Well, there I always one way to find out!”

“Wha-WAIT HAL NOT AGAIN-“

Wren quickly threw himself to the floor, curling up and shielding himself with his hands as Hal gave the package a strong kick.

But nothing happened.

“Huh…”, Wren wondered, quickly getting up again and clearing his throat to hide his embarrassment. “That’s new. It’s an actual package? Did someone seriously have their bought stuff sent here?”

With wariness he watched a his chief now picked up the package, staggering for a second as the unexpected heavy weight pulled him back down.

“My, that is quite the weight for simple mail!”, Hal wondered to which Wren sighed.

“Alright, let’s just bring it in and take a peek, Hal. Knowing our guys, if it isn’t a bomb it’s probably a bazooka or something.”

“We could use one…”, the other hummed in consideration, before grabbing the package more securely and moving back into the station.

Keeping safety distance, Wren watched a few minutes later with skeptic how his chief opened up the package.

What was in it however was certainly not a bazooka.

Instead it was dark colored detailed parts of a robot body, the final touch being a turned off monitor that no doubt served as a head. 

“There is a card.”, Hal noted, taking out said thing and starting to read it out aloud. “Greetings members of the MKPD. What you have in front of you is a full and only set of “The Moderator”. In the package you will find a guide on how to put her together.”

“That’s it?”, Wren questioned to which Hal shrugged, now pulling out what was a pretty long guide.

No surprises there, that thing had to fit into that package somehow.

“No motive, no name of the sender, no real explanation to what the Moderator does or is…”, Hal counted off his fingers. “In other words a normal Tuesday morning! Help me out, Detective Wren.”

Rolling his eyes, Wren didn’t even try to argue though still used caution when joining Hal at the table.

“So what do we do once we put this thing together?”

“A question for later! However, if we find even a trace of illegal activity on her-“

Hal’s screen immediately changed to a darker expression like the flip of a switch at the audacity of bringing such a thing into his legalized police station.

“-We scrap her into even smaller pieces.”

“Roger that…”

Assembling the pieces turned out to be a lot more complicated than expected.

Several times they messed up and had to rearrange limbs and digits, the most complicated part being the several pieces of the chest.

Wren scoffed as he added the shield symbol on the middle of the chest part, screwing it tight.

“I would like to have a word with whoever came up with this. There is literally no use to all this extra stuff except for decoration.”

Hal didn’t answer, instead looking at the monitor they now added on top with interest.

“It’s rare you see someone like me around these days.”

“I think it’s pretty far from being you, Hal.”, Wren argued, knocking against metal. “Whatever this thing is it’s gonna be pure AI. Not even a trace of meme energy seems to be in this as well though maybe we should get one of those guardians to check on it for us.”

“Maybe!”, Hal considered though his love for the said local guardians was famously low.

Waiting until Wren had connected the last piece, he then began searching for the power button.

Something that didn’t seem to exist.

“Hm, flawed design.”, the chief hummed, but his face lit up again again when the monitor of the Moderator suddenly powered on without any of them doing anything.

> Powering on…

> Welcome Moderator.

The Monitor then flashed over to displaying two blue eyes with a pair of eyelashes on each one and a wavy blue line underneath them.

All in all it had a rather monotone, almost bored expression.

“Hello.”

The monotone voice that sounded from the bot was that of a female, her robotic arms immediately folding behind her back as she took on a more uptight pose.

While Wren watched her with barely contained skepticism, Hal now stepped forward again, offering a handshake.

“Hal Monitor, hello miss! Could you tell us why you are here?”

The bot shook his hand without any hesitation, looking directly at Hal as she, Hal hoped he got the gender part right, answered.

> Scanning…

> Adding new file [Hal Monitor] to database. > Suitable mentor found. > Assigning role…

“My purpose is to bring order to this world.”

“How lovely! Just like us then-“, Hal meant cheerfully until he was interrupted by Wren who now stepped forward as well, arms crossed as he looked at the bot that roughly matched his size.

“And how do you plan on achieving that exactly?”, he asked with narrowed eyes.

“By any means necessary but mainly with the help of the instructions given by my mentor.”, the Moderator answered, not bothered by the other’s distrust.

Wren questioned if she could even read mimicry and tone or if it was as plain to her as her own.

“Your mentor being…?”, Wren dug deeper, only for the other to simply wave at Hal with a flat hand gesture.

Both policemen looked at each other in surprise, before Hal shrugged in consideration.

“It’s been some time since I had a rookie…”

“Can we maybe figure out some more before we decide to make it part of our police force?”, Wren sighed, before turning back to the bot to continue his questioning. 

“Who were you sent by? They must know Hal if they assigned him as your mentor.”

> Loading Backup…

> Error. No backups found.

“I cannot recall anything before my arrival here. Chief Monitor was chosen as the first person I’ve made contact with.”

“Hal is just fine.”, said chief chimed in.

“So if your first contact would have been a child, you would have taken that as a mentor instead?”, Wren questioned dumbfounded.

“No, a kid has not the maturity for such a task.”, Mod simply replied as if it was the most logical thing in the world.

Well, maybe in a logical world that would be true.

The detective gave a dry huff at that.

“You will find a lot of grown as-“

“Language.”, Hal warned.

“-lot of grown adults here have the maturity of a 3 year old.”, Wren continued exasperated. “Present company excluded of course.”

The Moderator seemed to consider that information for a second.

“Given their age that makes little sense unless their brain function was somehow altered through an accident.”

“Well, there was an incident-“

“Hal, can I have a second. Alone.”, Wren now stepped in before Hal could continue on, pulling the taller man to the side of what he assumed was the hearing range of the Moderator.

“I don’t think telling it about the whole memefication incident is a good idea.”, he then whispered, giving the bot a side glance who simply remained in place, scanning her surroundings. 

“Detective you’ve seen how rational she acts, she will notice in a heartbeat- or whatever she has instead.”, Hal argued, putting hands on his side. “You usually aren’t this worried. What’s the matter with you?”

“Nothing, just not trusting this thing suddenly appearing on our doorstep is all. It’s different and you know it.”, Wren sighed, brushing through his hair. “Do we really want it in our force? Hal, who knows what it can do.”

“Precisely my point!”, the chief argued. “You heard her! We are supposed to be her guidance. Now imagine what could happen if she landed in the hands of some lowlife criminal instead!”

With squinted eyes Wren watched how the Moderator began calling up some holographic screens in the background.

Although she had just powered up, she seemed to know what she was doing, opening settings and discovering her own data with precise movement.

“Fair point.”

The monitor head gave the inkling a pat on the back.

“We will keep a close eye on her, teach her everything a police officer has to know! But I’m also giving you all the freedom to figure out her origin in the meantime, of course.”

Wren simply sighed once more before showing a dry smile.

“I can’t really stop you anymore even if I wanted to, can I?”

“Nope!”

Letting out a low chuckle, Wren now turned to the Moderator again.

“Hey tincan! Get over here!”

If the bot was irritated by the way he called her, she certainly didn’t let it show and just came strolling over to them.

“Congratulations!”, Hal now announced, pulling out a badge and a set of clothes from seemingly nowhere. 

Whether it was Hal’s sudden blazing enthusiasm or his magic trick, the bot halted in her steps.

Not a second later the monitor head already shoved the stuff into the Moderator’s hands.

“Unfortunately we don’t really have any uniforms left, so I fear you will just have to do with this for now.”

The bot gave the clothes a glance, before swiftly putting them on, adding the dark leather coat over the blue sweater.

A horrendous combination for warm days if you were organic.

The badge was added by Hal himself.

“There we go! Welcome to the Mushroom Kingdom Police, rookie!”

“Can we come up with something other than the Moderator, by the way?”, Wren now added again having watched the whole thing with mild interest. “It’s kind of a long name.”

“How about “Mod”? Short and easy! ”, Hal suggested, turning to the bot.

The new rookie seemed to consider for a second, before giving a barely noticeable nod.

“Mod is acceptable.”, the bot agreed.

“Well, Officer Mod, let’s show you how things work around here!”

> Adding “Mod” to name list.

> Role assigned to [Moderator]: MKPD Police Officer.

> Mentor: Hal Monitor.