#whatwehad

WHAT WE HAD MASTERLIST

avalon hall, junior member of the east high drama program and co captain of the school's dance team with her best friend and dance partner trevor jackson. she was the head of the ballroom section of the team.

or

in which ricky and avalon realize their feelings for each other while working together to win back their exes.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

cast

chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

I feel that writing you a letter would let me express how I feel and say things to you I cannot in person. It is difficult for me to express my feelings properly, therefore most of the time I keep them bottled up inside. Even when you ask me if I am alright, I try to brush my feelings away and pretend I am fine. You always know I am not, I feel vulnerable that you can see through me. But only you care enough to ask me again and again. I hate how I cannot express how I really feel, what was wrong, what made me upset and frustrated. I am confused and torn with how I feel for you. I care about you deeply and I have feelings for you I don’t really understand. You are very important to me and I intend keep having you in my life.

It is very hard for me to let go of my feelings for you. I miss you, I miss kissing you and holding you like I use to. I don’t just want to sleep with you just because! I am still attracted to you and I miss the connection, the attention and care you gave me before I left. Seeing you and spending time with you makes it hard and those feelings resurfaced. Just like last time I stayed with you and when I stayed at your place the other night.

I know we are better being friends and we have talked about this briefly. I cannot control when these feelings resurface and I become so confused and flustered. I fell for you and your little silly ways without knowing it.

I would never be able to say any of this in front of you, maybe because deep inside I know my feelings have always been one sided. I know you feel guilty because you don’t feel the same way and care the way I want you to. And it hurts to know this every time I am with you and when I see you.

Meeting you and then leaving Canada made me realise what I cherish in life, what I value and want to achieve. I want to love and be loved, care and be cared for, I want to have and build a family. I want to have a life where I am happy and make someone happy everyday. From you I have gained different outlooks from my experiences. I realised what I want in life and what is important to me, yet I don’t have the courage and confidence to fight for it.

One day I will be fearless, I will have the courage to fight for what I want.