The Mysterious Case of the Disney Mystery Bag and My Current Identity Crisis
So, my mom once told me I “don’t have anger issues.” This is a lie. A cruel, misleading, false statement. Let me explain.
I bought three Disney mystery bags (yes, the ones where you never get the character you want, always a tragic twist), one for me and one for each of my little brothers. I was super excited. Like, genuinely hyped. Finally, a little dose of joy in the form of a weird plastic figure I can throw in a drawer until I forget about it—classic me. Anyway, I open my bag, and I get Goofy. So I’m thinking, alright, fine. Not the dream, but whatever.
Then my younger bro gets Edna Mode. And I'm like, okay, not bad, she’s iconic, I get it. But also—NO. Because I wanted Edna. So, I asked my little bro if he’d like to trade. He said, “No.” And let me tell you, that is when something in me snapped.
I got angry, I threw the toy on the floor (very dramatic, very effective), stormed away, and now I'm currently sitting in my car. Alone. Having just inhaled the donut that was meant for him. Yeah, I said it. A donut. It was blue, with white sprinkles, and it was meant for him... but I ate it. In less than 30 seconds. I don't know what happened. One second it was in my hands, the next, it was gone. And now, he’s going to find out there was a donut and I ate it, but he doesn’t even know it existed.
He doesn’t even know who Edna Mode is! But I’m sitting here, full of regret, wondering why I threw my toy on the floor and why I shoved a donut into my mouth with the ferocity of someone who just got betrayed by Goofy.
But hey, I’m self-reflecting, right? This is growth. Paramore is on, I'm listening to “Hard Times,” and I’m thinking, “Yeah, life’s hard. But at least I’m becoming self-aware.”So to sum up:I won’t ever touch Goofy again.
I’m not telling my mom because she’ll take away my phone and ground me forever (I know, I’m 21, but I’m still a child in her eyes).I’m going to eat my second brother’s donut later (he also got Goofy, which... makes me wonder if Goofy is just my nemesis at this point).And finally, Hard Times and me? We’re one now.
Also, I got the "Heroes of Olympus" at the flea market today, and I’m LOVING it. Leo Valdez and Festus on the cover? YES. Leo’s basically me, if I didn’t have anger issues and a deep-seated book addiction. But honestly, Leo might have anger issues too, now that I think about it... He just hides it better.
