#whatever!!!!!!!!!!!

something so horrid about

1) babies/toddlers/kids being a special interest (seriously the development that happens in the first like 10 years of life is really cool okay)

2) liking babies/toddlers/kids outside of the special interest lens (it is fun to interact with tiny humans)

3) everyone always saying you are really good with kids

4) everyone saying you'd be a really good parent

5) WANTING to be a parent after spending years & years denying you'd ever be one (mainly due to repressed gender issues + mental illness stuff)

6) but also having severe mental illnesses + being neurodivergent

7) and having physical health problems to boot (i am chronically ill and will likely get worse with age)

8) and also being trans but currently detransitioned because my country is terrifying & i just want to exist quietly and bother nobody (can't date when i hate myself and live in a horribly red part of a horribly red state that hates my existence)

9) but i am a pining yearning loser who is rapidly approaching my 30s with no changes in my life

10) and thus i realize the likelihood of me actually getting to be a parent/have a family is probably a big ol zero!!!!!!!!!

was thinking about noble ren and knight martyn who have been together ever since they were kids. and about ren who'd convince martyn to sneak out with him at night and even though martyn really didn't think it a good idea he still went along with it - he couldn't just say no to his best friend. about them exploring the woods just outside the city together and feeling absolutely invincible by each other's side. about the sheltered ren seeing plants and animals and even magical creatures he's only ever seen in books, and about martyn who can only look at ren and the way his eyes light up at his new discoveries.