#whatamicrazy

Maybe I'm crazy honestly... I have always been creative and over imaginative yes... Damn it! I think too quickly sometimes. Once upon a time,  I used to be a very happy and fortunate child. I may have rarely ever seen my mother, not that that has changed or anything. That doesn't matter... Things really can change quickly, whether it be emotions, family, money, living situation. All had in fact changed. Money stolen. Family stealing, Moving in with people that you may think you like now, when really they will change the rest of your life for the worst via lies. When you're young you are kept busy, or at least I was. I loved dance and always had a passion for cooking. Anyways eventually going from everything to nothing is saddening. So what do I do? What I always have done? Playing pretend. Now why would anyone lie to themselves in such a way, lie to others even? It's not that I don't like change. I love change. I embrace change. But when every single thing in life will not change and stay the same for a long amount of time. That is when I'm struggling  So I lie, to myself and well basically everyone.  I pretend I am living a life that I actually want to live. Like a dream life but more believable. I make my own change. No one knows where I live do they? Will they? No. I am living in another world. Not living my actual life. But why would I want to? It's much more interesting this way. I just look forward to the future, don't really even pay attention to what's happening now. All it really is is boringness that I can't get out of any other way. I mean high school doesn't mean anything after all  College however is the most exciting thing ever. Being myself. That is what I look forward to. All life consists of now is sleeping 15 or more hours a day and going shopping every once and a while. I will seriously do absolutely anything to get into the colleges of my dreams. I want to help the world. That is in fact the meaning of life to me. Making other people happy, leaving the world a better place than it was before.