#werther's

GRYPHON: WHAT are you doing here? Are you after my gold?!

ME: Aw crap, I must’ve taken the wrong tunnel. My bad, I’ll just head back—

GRYPHON: LIES!!! You’re the one who robbed the sphinx, aren’t you? And now you want the gold from my nest! Well, this gryphon won’t fall for your deceitful tongue, trickster. Perhaps I’ll just eat you; that’ll put a stop to your schemes!

ME: That sphinx is THE sorest loser— Look, I'm really just passing through. Would you let me leave if I GAVE you some gold?

GRYPHON: (suspicious) I don’t smell any gold on you.

ME: (pulls out bag of Werther’s Originals) I mean, it’s gold-COLORED, but if you’re in the mood for eating anyway . . .

GRYPHON: . . . . . . . . .

GRYPHON: I see your reputation for devious wordplay is not exaggerated.

ME: So you don’t want it, then?

GRYPHON: Leave the dang candy and go.

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(A/N: I was surprised to learn that gryphons have similar gold-guarding tendencies to dragons, but like, for their nests. But they’re also birds, and crows like shiny things, and EVERYONE likes candy, so ... let’s be honest, this would probably work.)