#wendysmut

Your mind still can’t wrap around those words. It still felt so foreign.

7 years as a trainee. 5 years in a boy group. And it took just 1 day to tear down what was built on your blood, sweat, and tears. It was over, just like that.

It’s been 2 weeks since that fateful decision. Your CEO sat everyone down to discuss the future of the group. He stated it was simply business; despite the growth the group was experiencing, it was getting harder to finance. Considering the “more successful” groups (and this was putting it lightly), it was “best” to let you go. The CEO even proposed a disbandment song, and opportunities to stay in the company.  

While everyone in the group decided to stay to try out other paths, you finally decided it was time for a long-deserved break and leave the idol business. You were just too burned out. Maybe you will leave for good, maybe not. But for now, it was time to leave Seoul and go home.

“I love you guys, but I think this is it.”

The past few days were a blur and filled with plenty of alcohol. A celebration of the coming end, reminiscing on how it all came to be.

And by tomorrow, the group’s disbandment and your retirement will become public knowledge.

“It was fun while it lasted,” you say wistfully.

*Buzz*

Only now do you notice the multiple notifications buzzing on your phone.

“Well, the news would have spread eventually.” You thought as you got up from your bed to freshen up.

______________________________________________________________________

While preparing lunch and replying to everyone’s messages, your front door is barraged with three heavy knocks. You hoped it wasn’t your neighbors for being too noisy last night.

Opening the door, you really wished it was your neighbors.

Standing in front of you in all her furious glory was Son Seungwan, boring her gaze into you. She was as beautiful as she was angry.

“Let me in. Now.”

She doesn’t even give you time to move out of the way, and you close the door as you follow her inside. Every word is laced with deadly intent, coating you with goosebumps.

You brace for the incoming storm.

It was harder to look at her now that she removed her mask and cap, finding the floor more interesting. You could still feel her stare, like prey under a predator’s gaze. It takes a couple seconds of awkward silence for her to break the silence again.

“When were you going to tell me?”

“I-” The rest of your words get stuck in your throat. When you finally look at her, your heart drops. You’ve never seen her so defeated.

“Don’t make me repeat myself. Were you even going to tell me? I had to find out through Joohyun, and she found out through our manager.” Her voice wavers, tears starting to flow freely.

“You were going to leave.” She finishes her sentence with a wild punch to your chest, surprisingly staggering you back.

“Without.”

“Telling.”

“Me?”

Each word punctuated hit after hit.

“Say something. Please!” She shouts at you while throwing blind punches, making it easier to absorb each contact.

Where would you begin to explain?

You catch her next wild swing, and this gives you the chance to hug her. She tries to wriggle out of your grasp but eventually returns the hug, freely crying into your chest. Her hold is like a vice grip on you, afraid you’ll slip away.

Under any dire circumstances, you’ve always felt safe in Wendy’s arms. But this felt different, a sense of finality. A countdown to what possibly could be one of the last times you can hold her like this.

Suddenly you feel  moisture on your cheeks too. It’s the first time you’ve cried since the news. The weight of your decision finally settles in, and you both find comfort in each other’s arms.

 ______________________________________________________________________

The atmosphere is more relaxed now as you and Wendy sit at your dining table, both of you eating the semi-edible lunch you were supposed to have by yourself.

“When are you leaving?” she asks pensively.

“Next week. Just need to finish some paperwork at the company and promote the disbandment song. Then… I’m going home.” Part of you still hasn’t come to terms with the situation but talking to Wendy makes it easier to deal with the sting.

She frowns at your reveal. You know she has many questions to ask, but you’ll answer another time.

To your surprise she reaches over to hold your hand.

“I can’t imagine how you feel. It must have been a crazy two weeks for you and the boys.” You focus on the feeling of her hand, it’s still so soft and comforting. You haven’t felt her hands in a while.

“It was pretty hard. But as you see, we’ve kept each other company throughout the weeks.” You gesture around the living room, slightly astray with some more bottles of Soju scattered around. Wendy at least laughs a bit at this, and the heavy tension from minutes ago slowly dissipates..

A comfortable silence soon follows. Wendy seems to be deep in thought. You on the other hand want to try and explain at least something now, but the words can’t come out.

“Are you free tomorrow?” She breaks you out of your stupor. You didn’t expect an invitation.

“I’m sure you have a lot to say. Since the news is coming out tomorrow, it would be a good distraction from all of the chaos that’s about to unfold.” Wendy has always been the most perceptive between you two.

You smile at the thought. She always knew what you needed. It’s been years since you’ve been alone with Wendy. Usually, you’d see each other during a company function or during music shows. This could be the last in a long time to spend some quality time with her.

“Sure.” You’re excited at the prospect to be with Wendy. Just for one more day.

______________________________________________________________________

You decide to clean up the place after Wendy left. You end up reminiscing about how you met her in the first place.

It all started a week before trainee evaluations. Although it was easy to nail down the steps for the song, your every attempt of singing was akin to a drunk cow. Luckily, your practice mate just came up with the perfect solution for you.

As you enter the practice room you see a girl your age effortlessly hitting her song’s high notes. You watch the rest of the performance in spectacular awe. Her honey vocals blend perfectly with the acoustics of the practice room. You couldn’t believe it, she only joined last month?

“It’s rude to stare.” You remember Joohyun’s voice snapping you out of your daze. A blush develops on your face as you notice the performance is finished. The girl is looking back at you with a similar blush.

She’s pretty. Pretty cute. As beautiful as her notes. Introduce yourself you idiot, make some damn words please, come on, what’s wrong with you-

It’s as if she can read your mind.

“H-Hi. I’m Son Seungwan. But please just call me Wendy.”

As it turns out, Wendy dances like an epileptic with two left feet. Guess even an angel would have flaws. You both come to the agreement that she will help turn your wailing into actual singing, and you will make sure she can dance to at least the beat of the song.

The practices were awkward at first, both of you trying to break the ice. But she really gave you the best tips for your singing. You started hitting notes you thought you could not. Meanwhile, her dancing had improved despite the numerous times you had to catch her from stumbling. Plus, it was a bonus to spend time with a beautiful girl.

Come evaluations, both of you pass with flying colors. You even ended up with the 4th highest score, surpassing Joohyun for the first time in years. To celebrate the results and the 1-week anniversary of your practice agreement, you both celebrated post-evals at the Ministop by Han River.

Wendy turned out to be quite the chatterbox. She was so happy that she couldn’t stop talking; it was starting to get infectious. You also found out you have a couple of similarities with her.

You weren’t much of an honor student like her, but you’ve been playing the piano and guitar for as long as she has. You also both exchange stories of growing up in America, trying to adjust to Korean culture.

You both loved blue. She particularly likes the sky-blue variation while you prefer royal blue.

And you both are stupidly unlucky at the funniest moments.

Years flew by, and Wendy practically became your best friend. Although your practices together eventually lessened, your escapades at Han River never stopped. You’d tell each other everything from gossip about bossy trainers, to annoying the hell out of Joohyun, and even things you both haven’t told others. You didn’t mind if she was the one who did all the talking, you were content with listening to her sweet voice.

You always looked forward to these small moments with her.  A small refuge from the life of a soon-to-being Korean idol. It made you feel like a normal person hanging out with your favorite person.

Days before her debut was the last time you both went to Han River together. Both of you felt a sense of finality, it would be a while before you can come back here. You both ended up walking for a while until settling on a bench.

“It still feels unreal. I can’t believe I’m about to debut. I’m so nervous. What If-.” Her eyebrows furrow as she lists down so many things that would be impossible to happen, considering her incredible set of skills.

You hug her to stop her from talking. She’s surprised at first but relaxes into the hug.  

“You’re being ridiculous Seungwan. You’re the best singer out there. You’ve proven yourself to be a great artist. You’re going to crush it. And I’ll be watching and supporting you from the sidelines. We’ll be performing together on the stage in no time” You remember the hug lasting for a few minutes then letting go. You wished it lasted forever.

Alas, time was up. To immortalize your last days of freedom together you carved both of your initials under the handles of the bench. Eventually, the time you had with Wendy became scarce, and even less when you debuted the year after.

You shared many secrets with Wendy, but you never told her you had the biggest, fattest crush on her since you met. You possibly even loved her. You don’t know exactly when you realized, but it felt more like a cascading wave of emotions that led you to that 4-letter word. It just felt right when used with her.

Dating was not unheard of in the company, but you struggled to convince yourself it wasn’t worth the risk between you two. Not only was she about to debut but the scheduling conflicts, the media, the fans, not to mention if she felt the same about you. That’s what you used to say to dig those feelings deep.

And now, you might never have the chance to tell her.

 ______________________________________________________________________

Tomorrow arrives faster than you know it. You had enough time yesterday to recover from the hangover to focus on your day with Wendy.

“I didn’t think I’d ever come back here,” you exclaim as you survey your surroundings.

Time has at least been kind to your favorite café by Han River. Wendy chanced upon this rustic hideaway during one of her walks and brought you along the next chance she got. It was a quaint place with not many people passing by, making it easier for the two of you to stay incognito.

“To think we used to sneak out of training early just to have dinner here. You were such a bad influence on me,” she says as she takes a sip of her drink. In your defense, you were getting crazy with the diets you had to do.

You stick your tongue out at her statement, taking a piece of her cake. “As if you didn’t want to go along, you enjoyed every single moment of it.”

This makes you both laugh, settling into a comfortable silence. Being with Wendy again was amazing, if only the circumstances were different.

However, you wished Wendy didn’t have the knack of breaking the silence all the time. “So, can you tell me about your retirement?”

Wendy looks at you intently, and you’re back to your trainee days. She always had this ethereal look in her eyes that said, “it’s okay, you’re safe with me.” Maybe this is what made you fall in love with her to begin with.

You exhale as you gather your thoughts. “To be honest, you were one of the first people I wanted to call. I… I just felt so ashamed of myself. I felt like I failed everyone who supported us from the beginning. I failed my fans, my parents, my group, myself. I felt I even failed you. I guess the last few days were just me in denial.”

Wendy squeezes your hand as she tries to comfort you. You don’t know when she slipped her hand in yours, but it gives you enough strength to continue.

“I really want to rest though. I mean I knew the risks of being an idol, and now going through it I’m glad I didn’t get the worst of it. But I think I’ve lost myself too much out there. It’s not a full retirement just yet, more like a small restart in my life. Reassess some things so that I can figure out myself. That's why I need to go home. I’m sorry, I should have told you sooner.”

Silence once again. But this time, a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. You release a breath. The tightness in your chest lessens. It’s been a while since you’ve vented to someone like that. And throughout your venting spiel Wendy was intently listening, always with that intense look in her eyes.

It’s her turn to process what you told her. “I… had no idea you carried so much over the past few weeks. I should be the one to apologize, not you. Especially yesterday when I went to your place with so much anger. I was just so afraid to lose you. Someone who means so much to me. I understand why you must go… I just…” Her voice never wavers until the end.  

Wendy’s last words, what she implies makes your heartbeat hammer across your chest. It’s been an emotionally charged conversation, and maybe you heard more than what she intended. At this point you’re just glad she listened. For now, you decide to change the topic.

“Well, I can forgive you if you let me finish your cake.”

Wendy seems to appreciate the topic change. “Such a joker, and a hungry one at that.”

She slowly lets go of your hand, but your palm feels a bit empty without hers. You hope that a blush isn’t developing on your face.

“Slow down with that cake! We have all the time in the world.”

 ______________________________________________________________________

The chilly autumn breeze envelopes the two of you as you exit the café. It was a full moon, illuminating the river and creating a perfect reflection on the still water as you two started to walk down the riverbed.

It’s an uncharacteristic quiet walk, especially for Wendy’s standards. Glancing to her side, it seems Wendy is inching closer to you as you walk down the river.

Her hand suddenly brushes yours a couple of times. Every touch is like electricity, sending signals to your brain to grab her hand.

A line was about to be crossed. And you’ll be damned if you didn’t take it this time.

You slowly intertwine your hand with hers. Electricity soon becomes a fire that spreads across your arm, and now your heart is on maximum overdrive. Now you’re sure the blush on your face is contrasted by the pale full moon. You glance at Wendy; she’s smiling at you while sporting the same blush.

“Feeling cold all of the sudden?” she says as she squeezes your hand. There’s a hint of mischief in her voice. It was a real attempt to flirt. You’ve always jokingly flirted with Wendy, but this feels too surreal.

“Don’t worry, I found something to warm up with.” You squeeze her hand in reply. Her hand really is soft, and it fits well like a well-slotted puzzle piece. On closer inspection some parts of her palm are slightly calloused, a testament of all her hard work throughout the years.

Walking further down the path, you spot a familiar looking bench. The two of you pull each other towards it to hurriedly check the underside of the handles.

“Wow! Check it out, our initials are still here.” Your hand grazes over the handiwork, a reminder to how far you’ve both come. Time flew fast, although you wished the circumstances now were a bit different.

“Can’t believe it’s been years since we’ve done this,” Wendy says as she looks out in the open.

Both of you sit on the bench side-by-side, taking in the sight of the moon and the sound of the river. It’s strange how everything is calm tonight, in contrast to whatever chaos is erupting from the news of the disbandment and your retirement.

Wendy slowly lays her head on your shoulder, hugging your arm snuggly. A sigh of content escapes her. “Let’s stay like this for a while.”

You oblige, but instead of admiring the surroundings you can’t help but look at her. The moonlight falls upon her face, accentuating her beauty even more. The warmth of her body next to you. The feathery touch of her hands on yours. And the revelation hits you.

Maybe you should have taken the risk years ago.

“It’s rude to stare,” she playfully chides. The familiar line is enough to bring you back from your reverie. She is looking back at you now, and she’s dangerously close. Her eyes convey a sense of longing, she licks her lips as the anticipation intensifies.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help but enjoy the view.” You start to inch closer. Time slows to a crawl.

“Really? What’s so special about it?” She closes her eyes. You follow suit, feeling her breath just inches away.

“Let me show you,” you whisper as you close the distance. The world melts away as you feel her lips crash onto yours. She snakes her arms around your neck while you wrap your arms around her waist, pulling her closer in. The kiss is soft and tender, and Wendy’s fragrance envelops your senses. You couldn’t tell if your heart was beating at maximum speed because you couldn’t feel it.

You break the kiss to lift Wendy onto your lap, her legs hanging off yours. She laughs in surprise as both of you lean into each other’s foreheads.

“You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to do that,” you say as you caress her cheek. She leans into your hand and kisses your palm.

“Do you want to know a secret?” she rhetorically asks.

She leans towards your ear to whisper. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you too.”

Her words send shivers down your spine. Before you can reply she pulls you into another sweet kiss. You can feel her smile into the kiss as it gets deeper. You try to concentrate the years of unbridled emotion you’ve held off into the kiss. A few minutes of lip locking ends with a light smack, both of you in need of air.

Maybe you should have taken that risk years ago.

She gets off your lap and pulls you up from the bench. “Let’s go home.”

 ______________________________________________________________________

The train ride home was uneventful, save for the sneaky kisses you’d share. Not a lot of people were on the train anyway. If only this could be a daily occurrence. Wendy stays quiet and keeps giving you this look that you can’t decipher. But you know what’s about to happen, so you both decided to go to your place. And neither of you would want any of Wendy’s groupmates to see the possible aftermath, especially Joohyun.

As you close the door to your apartment, you turn around only to have Wendy crash her lips on yours. This was a more passionately charged kiss. A shift was felt from the romantic aura earlier to something more of wanton need.

Realization hits you on what her look was on the way home; this kiss was fueled with lust.

You feel her tongue trying to part your lips, and you allow it to invade your mouth. The feeling of her soft tongue on yours turns you on even more as your tongues tangle. She tastes like sweet cherry, and you’re getting drunk right off it. She surprises you by jumping onto you, wrapping her legs around your waist as your back hits the door. You instinctively grab hold of her thighs, and you hold her weight.

“Do you have somewhere to go, Ms. Son?” you jest. You carry her to your bedroom while she peppers you with kisses on your neck and face.

“Only to your bed with you. We have a lot of catching up to do, mister.” Luckily for you the bedroom is close. You carry Wendy inside, sitting yourself by the edge of the bed.

As the makeout session continues you start to feel more adventurous, sneaking your hands inside Wendy’s blouse and exploring her soft porcelain skin. You feel her shiver at the contact. Her hands brush over your hair and nape, keeping her arms around your head so that she doesn’t fall off.

Deciding to up the ante, you start to cup Wendy’s breasts through her bra. She moans into your mouth. Despite the bra, her breasts are still a handful. Wanting to hear more of her, you break the kiss, and instead kiss down her neck. Each kiss elicits a small moan as she leans back, giving you more access to her delectable neck. You seem to hit a sweet spot on her collarbone because with the stimulation you’re giving, her moans are even more needy. You need to hear more. Your thoughts come to a halt as she rewards your efforts by grinding herself onto you.

It’s your turn to moan, and you realize how hard you’ve been when she gyrates her hips. You tug on her shirt, trying to remove it while she continues to dry hump you. To your initial disappointment, she stops and gets off you.

However, your eyes go wide as she divests her jacket and blouse in fluid motion. She turns around to remove her pants, making sure to give you a show by slowly pulling it down. Wendy’s well-sculpted ass is a sight to see, and you can’t help but gape at her form. She turns to face you now, and you try and engrave every single detail of this moment in your brain forever. Her lacy blue lingerie, her abs, her curves, beautiful doesn’t do her justice. But it’s the only word you can say.

“You’re beautiful.”

She gives you the biggest smile of the night. “And you’re overdressed.” Her wit is never behind her, and you oblige by removing your clothes too. Both of you now are in your underwear, and you notice her eyes stay fixed to where your constricted boner is.

“It’s rude to stare” you smirk, as you throw the line back to her.

She heartily laughs while she straddles your lap again. Your skin agrees to the lack of clothing as you feel more of her warmth envelope your body.

“Then let’s do something about that.” She reaches behind her bra to unclasp it. The bra falls to the side to reveal her perky breasts. They were a perfect handful. You dive right into one breast, sucking on it with careful pressure. Wendy moans and starts to grind onto you again. She hugs you tighter to get you to suck on her more. Your hand moves to the other breast, making sure it also gets attention by cupping it. You move to suck the other breast, nibbling it just a bit which makes Wendy shake from the pleasure.

You lift yourselves up from the edge of the bed to lay her down by the headrest. You get on top of her and kiss her from her mouth down towards her body. You start to kiss the insides of her thighs, reaching her damp underwear. Her breath hitches, waiting on your next move in anticipation. You tug on the sides of the last article of clothing, looking at her for her approval. She nods, and she raises her legs to help you remove them. You waste no time in teasing her and dive right in.

Wendy jerks to the initial stimulation, surprised by the friction of your hand on her clit. She moans even louder when you lick it. “Ah fuck, that feels so good”. You’ve never heard her swear like this, which arouses you even more. You start lapping her up, making sure your tongue does random patterns to see what she enjoys best. She’s already wet, her juices intoxicating you faster than the strongest alcohol. Wendy reaches for your hand while you pleasure her, while her other hand grips her breast.

You surprise her by slowly inserting a finger inside of her. Then two of your fingers. She tries to stifle her moans with her free hand, but you grab a hold of it. “Seungwan, I want to hear you enjoy it. I want to make you scream.”

Your words are enough to push her near her climax. She allows herself to let go. Her moans become louder, and she’s speaking in a mix of Korean and English gibberish. Not wanting to prolong her anticipation you curl your fingers inside of her, and suck hard on her clit. She gives you no warning and screams in pleasure, her back arching upwards as you feel her walls clench around your fingers. You lap up her juices that are overflowing, as you help her ease off from her orgasm. She buckles under your touch, sensitive from the newfound pleasure.

“Holy shit, that was amazing.” She breathes in and out deeply. You get up from your position to kiss her softly, making her taste herself.

“Now it’s your turn.” With surprising strength she pulls you down, making you switch positions with her. She gets down to your crotch, palming your erection. You moan in anticipation as you help her remove your boxers. You’re now fully bare to Wendy, as your rock-hard rod springs up in full attention. She sighs in contentment as she grips it with one hand, slowly pumping it. The other hand massages your balls. You lean on the bedrest to get a better angle, and it’s an amazing sight.

She increases the tempo of her strokes, using both hands to pump you. It’s as if she knows the pleasure building up in you. “Fuck, you’re so-”

She doesn’t let you finish that sentence when she licks the tip of your head. She removes one hand so that she has more space in her mouth to suck you off. The feeling is so foreign, sending more shocks to your spine. The feeling of her wet mouth and soft hands is almost too much for you to handle. What sends you almost off the edge is when she makes eye contact with you, then proceeds to lick your shaft top to bottom. As your abdomen slightly tightens and breathing gets faster, Wendy senses this and stops her ministrations. What she says almost gives you a heart attack.

“I want you inside of me. Let me take care of you tonight.”

She straddles you, grabbing your erection to line it up to her entrance. You look at her, her face full of determination.

You wanted to make sure. “Are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” she replies.

That line you were afraid to cross a while ago? It’s as good as obliterated. And you don’t regret a damn thing.

You will never forget the feeling of entering her the first time as she slowly impales herself onto you. She’s tight, but your earlier work on her made her very wet and the rest of you slip in easily. You both moan in contentment. The feeling of her is otherworldly, like you’re on top of the world. You see her trying to get used to your size, so you adjust yourself to grab and kiss her. She returns the kiss, and you start to feel her slowly move herself.

“Holy fuck you feel so good in me.” She rides you slowly, establishing a rhythm that is enjoyable for you both. Every movement she does sends you deeper and deeper into her. Your hands reach out to grasp her breasts. She leans back to impale herself even more, her moans mixing in with your grunts. Eventually one of your hands leaves her breast to stimulate her clit.

“Oh my God keep doing that, don’t stop.” She speeds up her movement, and one of your arms moves to her waist to support her. You can feel she’s getting close as more of her juice spills onto your cock and her walls constrict. You thrust upward, trying to match the rhythm she established. You’re getting close too.

“Fuck I’m about to cum!” She starts to tremble, and she falls forward. You catch her as you feel her pussy pull a vice grip on you as you guide her into her second orgasm of the night. She still tries to ride you to your orgasm, and the tightening pleasure is starting to take its toll on you.

“I’m about to cum too where-” she silences you with a kiss.

“Inside. I’m safe. I want to feel all of you in me”

As she says this you feel your muscles tighten once again, and with one final thrust you release your own orgasm inside of her. She moans to the warm sensation that fills her and grinds her rhythm to a hauntingly slow motion. All you see is white at first, and your vision slowly returns to see Wendy giving you a tired smile. You kiss her slowly, as both of you relax from your respective highs.  

Minutes later she gets off you and settles on leaning on your chest. You feel the results of your tryst leave her, taking note to change the sheets tomorrow. For now, you don’t care as you hug Wendy closer to you.

“That was… I can’t even describe what the hell that was,” you exclaim as you place a kiss on her forehead.

She hums in contentment as she lazily traces patterns on your chest. “I can’t believe we did all of that.”

As much as you don’t want to bring down the mood, you want to settle things with Wendy. What will become of all of this when you leave next week? You wanted to be sure. She needed to hear this for good.

You wanted something to come back to.

“Seungwan?”

She hums in reply.

“I know I’m leaving, and the timing of this is so far from perfect.”

She’s looking at you now, listening intently.

“I wish I told you everything, but I was afraid of losing you. I’ve admired your singing, your determination, your strength. I love the way you have this look that tells me everything will be okay. Whenever I feel lonely or scared, just thinking about you calms me down. I was always able to pull through because you were there for me. You would always save me. Beautiful doesn’t do justice to describe you…. You want to know another secret?”

“I love you. It took me a while to get here, but I do.”

You brace yourself for her reaction, praying to the heavens that this will work.

You suddenly feel Wendy shake, and wetness develops on your chest. Wendy hugs you even tighter.

“Seungwan I-”

She shakes her head furiously as she props herself up to look at you. She tries to wipe the tears off her face to see you better.

She’s smiling.

“You have no idea how much I wanted to hear you say that.”

You can’t believe your ears.