#well hellooooo there

“It’s not normal…. Look around you, nobody is like us in public. We can’t go on with this, my parents, they expect things of me. I’m supposed to the run that factory over there and marry a girl I’ve never seen in my life not runaway with a poor boy who works in the Italian restaurant around the corner!” Sam was now shouting at the other boy his face turning red while the boy in front of him looking hurt and ashamed right in front of him exactly as the director had told them to do. Sadly it was a face Sam had known all too well. It had been around two years ago when Sam had seen that face but that time they weren’t on a film set.

“CUT, CUT!” the director screamed while walking towards them. “Sam you were being great so far but what happened. You were acting so well and I could really feel you and that it was I need but you had to storm away, not just stand there gawking at Blaine. What went wrong?”

Sam flushed not really able to say anything while he awkwardly looked from Blaine to the director. After a minute or so it was Blaine who broke the silence.

“I think we could use a break, we’ve been working on this scene for an hour straight now.”

The director turned to Blaine and spoke “Ten minutes… no more,” while turning around and pacing away quickly.

“Sam I th-“ Blaine started while Sam turned his attention back to Blaine.

“No.. please…” Sam said barely able to say more words anymore while turning around, almost running away from Blaine towards the dressing room.

  Sam always had his doubts about staring in this movie but his agent had said that it would be his breakthrough. But what Sam couldn’t say was that he didn’t want people to start discussing his sexuality, which they obviously would if he played one of the leads in a romantic gay themed movie. Sam himself liked the plot. It didn’t only address the topic of homosexuality, which still was a big issue, but also class differences in the early 20th century. But in the beginning Sam was just scared. He didn’t want people to think he was gay, he didn’t want people to ask him if he had any interest in boys and just because he wasn’t ready to come out yet. Just like he hadn’t been ready two years ago just after his graduation. Tears still filled Sam’s eyes the moment he thought about that.

  ***

Immediately after their election as senior class president and vice president their friendship had begun. And they had grown really close in matters of time. They both were geeks, and often had sleepovers watching superhero movies, they could go on talking about the latest issue of the Young Avengers comics or dressing up like Jedi’s and having laser fights. Soon Sam found out that Blaine had a little crush on him but he actually didn’t care. Blaine was his best friend and Sam would never let that little thing get in between them. There bromance, as many people seemed to call their friendship, continued but around Regionals things changed. Blaine got that crazy idea of him where he wanted to ask the Kurt to marry him, immediately Sam tried to talk this idea out of him but there was no way Blaine would change his mind. And it had hurt, Sam had never felt this kind of hurt before and it was that moment Sam realized that he actually liked Blaine. Of course, Sam now had realized that he had known it before already but that he had done everything to just deny his feelings for his best friends. But then Sam knew that he was too late and that he just had to accept that his best friend, the guy he loved, was going to ask another guy to marry him.

  But Kurt had turned Blaine down and Sam was there to help his heartbroken friend. Slowly waiting for Blaine to recover to make his move. But things didn’t seem to easy this time. With Quinn, Mercedes, Brittany and even Santana things had always been easy. He knew what to say, what he was expected to say, and Sam thought, he really thought that he was in love with them all. But after he realized his feelings for Blaine it all seemed like he was just a foolish child begging to be loved by anyone who would.

The rest of the year had been awkward. He and Blaine stayed best friends but during their sleepovers there sometimes was an awkward sexual tension and there were a couple of moments Sam just wanted to kiss his best friend, but he never would, he never could. And then there was graduation. After he and all the other seniors said goodbye to their friends in New Directions Sam and Blaine stayed behind in the choir room, they talked a bit about the future, about how they would be best friends for always when Sam suddenly had the urge to just hug Blaine. Sam came closer and he could feel the scent of Blaine’s skin blended with his cologne and hair gel, the scent Sam had become very familiar with, his hazel eyed locked into their and Blaine moved a little closer planting his lips on Sam’s. First Sam had been petrified, not knowing what to do, then he closed his eyes slowly kissing Blaine back, finally feeling the lips on his own, a moment  he had been dreaming about for half a year now but then when he realized what he was doing. Sam quickly stepped back, looking into Blaine’s eyes again who were now trying to read him.

“I’m sorry…. I can’t.. I’m not ready.” Sam said, tears feeling his green eyes. The choir room had became a blur and Sam started running and not looking back again.

  And that was the last time Sam had seen Blaine Devon Anderson. At least until he found out who would be playing with him in the movie.

  ***

  A knock on his door made Sam realize of his surroundings again. His eyes filled with tears, thinking about what had happened on those horrible day two years ago.

Blaine’s voice filled the air. “Sam.. I’m coming in.” The door slowly opened and Sam saw Blaine’s natural curly hair and the hazel eyes he once used to know so well.

Blaine walked towards him and took a seat in front of him, then Blaine started talking.

“You know Sam, I never expected to see you again. I thought our time was over. I thought that there was no way that I would ever talk to you again. But when I walked on set and I noticed that you would be the guy who I had to play in this movie with and my chest filled with joy. And I’ve been trying really hard to become friends with you again after graduation. But you’ve just been trying to keep me at a distance.” Blaine stopped talking for a moment to look Sam into the eye while Sam just looked down, not trying to look him into the eye.

“Now you’re doing it again.” Blaine said, almost crying. “I’ve been trying everything but you just don’t seem to want to talk with me again. And I know that you are exactly the same Sam as two years ago, I can see the signs everywhere. Every time I see you talking with someone here on the set you are the humble, friendly guy, there on that TV over there you’ve probably been watching the Avengers or Avatar or a film like that and on the dresser just behind you is a comic book. You are still the same guy as when I last talked to you and I can’t get over the fact that we are just friends anymore. I know I should have never kissed you, but I just thought, that you were trying to kiss me but you weren’t and I just wish I could go back in time and change what I did there but I can’t.” Blaine said tears streaming down his face.

“Blaine…” the blonde began thinking about the words he had to form. “Running away has probably been the decision I regret the most in all my life but I was scared and I didn’t know what to do. But there were all of these confusing feelings then. I was scared and ashamed and I felt so bad about myself. About those feelings I was developing, about all of these dreams I had but it was new and scary and it made me insecure. And Blaine all of these feelings, I learned about them and I was finally coming to terms with them but when I saw you, some of those feelings came back and I just don’t know how to deal with them.” He got out of his chair and started pacing through the room.

“And you know Blaine… every time I’m close to you, I can smell you, and you smell exactly the same as I remembered, just the smell of your body in combination with your  cologne and sometimes even your hair gel in those few moments your hair gel it feels like I’m alive again. Reliving all those awesome dorky moments I had with my best friends.”

Sam turned around and looked at Blaine again who had also stood up. “You know Blaine. I don’t want to be best friends with you again.” And for just a spare second Sam saw’s Blaine’s eyes widening in shock, not hearing the answer he had expected.