May 16
Finally finished my paint by number! Yay!
I am on day 33 of my diet. Trying my best to stick to it!
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Finally finished my paint by number! Yay!
I am on day 33 of my diet. Trying my best to stick to it!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Today is day 16! I am doing the best I can. I still have an injury so exercise has been off of the table. I have family visiting in a few days and I do know we plan to do two short hikes at least so that is good. So healing up for that. I am a bit anxious about how well I will stick to my diet for the length of time they are in town this early in the diet change. So trying to keep a very positive mindset about the food part, but super excited to see some of them. Here is a picture of what I bring to work to snack on which is usually between 400-800 calories total depending on the day as it is a desk job.
Toast (a little burnt oops) shakshuka, pumpkin seeds, and a mini chomps stick.
Today is day 4 of my diet/exercise changes. Here is a photo of my dinner yesterday.
I have been finding it helpful to prep snacks for while at work and have a bigger dinner for now. I am sure this will change later though. I have been hitting about 80g of protein a day which is much more than I used to so I am very happy about that! I have also added in walking for an hour with my dog each day so far so I hope to see results from that as well!
I have been eating about 1200-1400 calories a day. I find this varies a little without meaning to when I add more carbs to my foods during the day.
My dinner is usually my highest caloric meal of the day around 700-900 calories. My breakfast is usually a bit under 200 and my lunch fills in around 200-400. So far so good! Keeping it up! Looking forward to start strength training/increasing cardio after losing some weight and getting to add in more calories!
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am weight: 178.8lbs
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I swear to god I thought I was done trying. I was happy-ish. I mean, at least with my weight, I was happy.
But, here we are. My friend reblogs something from a pro-ana account onto his ‘normal’ blog by mistake. I get so pissed off. I visit that account. I read her posts, the warning: “I do not support a pro-ana lifestyle. This is my personal journey.” But, the advice she gave to her followers. I kept thinking how DARE she give advice to young girls to starve themselves. I was disgusted, rightfully so, and proud of myself for being able to see how sick it was. But how could I really think that when there were a million pictures of tiny waists and collarbones that acted like shelves?
I kept looking, and looking, and following, and liking, reading her advice and thinking maybe I could try that. ‘I’m recovered’ I thought.
The truth is, I think, there is no recovery until you seriously address the problem. If you just think, “Well I haven’t thought about that in a while.” You’re not recovered.
So here I am. Again. With another promise that this time it’ll work. And logically, I don't want it to. But I weighed myself yesterday morning and I was 115.2 pounds. Like, 115.2 pounds before I’d made any efforts to lose weight. ‘So maybe I can’ I think. ‘Maybe I can lose more’ I think.
I don’t want to, but there’s this nagging voice in my head that keeps telling me to go back to it and work harder, eat healthier maybe, and lose weight. ‘New year, new me.’ I think. And I think I’m going to. If I can lose seven pounds without trying, maybe I can lose fourteen trying. It was three months ago that I last saw 122 on the scale, so April 1st I should see 101. Right? I think so.
I’m less disgusted with that girl, now. I want to be like her. Her next goal weight was 105, and she was 5′7″. I’m starting to think ‘How dare she weigh less than me? Look better than I do?’
I’m disgusting.