The plot:

The weekend is finally upon us, so here is your list of to-do's in the District.

And just like blasting a pint of Ben & Jerry's after running a mile, it's because you deserve it.

FRIDAY 1/6

Open Bar 4 Minute Speed Dating at Ultra Bar  - 7:00 pm - 10:00 pm

- Imagine a room packed full of singles, forced to mingle with each other in a specified time limit, with an unlimited amount of booze to quell any inhibition.

Yeah, you know you want to be there.

[Image via That'sWhyYourSingle]

Tuscana West's Ladies Night Happy Hour  - 4:00 pm - 7:30 pm

Tuscana is having a happy hour for ladies tonight with awesome deals on wine and premium drinks, as well as complimentary hors d'oeuvres. For you fellas out there, I'm sorry to say that there are no drink specials for you but it's always worth showing up where all the women are.

[Image via myspaceantics]

Saturday 1/7

2nd Annual Wild-Card Chili Cook Off Charity Event     -   4:00 pm - 8:00 pm

If you like the idea of pigging out on chili while supporting the men and women of the Armed Forces, then this is the place you need to be. All proceeds go to Warrior Gateway, a non-profit that assists veterans and their families. With only a $10 cover, amazing chili, ridiculous drink specials, this event is a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

[Image via Facebook]

Elvis' Birthday Fight Club     - 8:00 pm

If you have ever wondered how you can possibly mix fighting, scantily-clad women, and Elvis all together, ponder no longer. The Warehouse Theater is hosting a performance where fighters duke it out while burlesque dancers keep the crowd riled up. Epic? Yes, you are correct.

[Image via Gregslist]

Sunday 1/8 

All You Can Eat & DRINK Brunch at Masa 14   -  11:00 am - 2:30 pm

Yes, you read that right, all you can eat and drink brunch. So if you are attempting to nurse that hangover, you can keep the good times rolling and maintain that buzz from Saturday night right on through Sunday afternoon. For $35, you can crush all the breakfast burritos your heart desires and wash it all down with bottomless Bloody Marys. Warning: you may need your friends to come pick you up.

[Image via Expressnightout]

Serendipitous and Delicious Sunday Brunch  - 11:30 am - 3:30 pm

Frozen Hot Chocolate French Toast. Need I say more?

[Image via Gregslist]