#we'rehere

We’re finally here on tumblr!!

 I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to, no matter who you are. There is always someone out there who understands and is willing to help you to the best of their abilities. Just reach out and we will be there with our hands outstreached, just waiting for your guard to crumble. We are always here.

Hi there, I've never done this before, so please excuse any errors.. :) about a year ago now, I lost one of my absolute best friends, because of things I said. how powerful words can be ay'. She wasn't just a friend, she was like a sister. my own big sister that I could tell anything to, could do anything with, and just laugh and laugh with her, all day every day. she taught me things no one in the world taught me, she drove a flash car, she looked beautiful even though others always put her down (not just beautiful, stunning). and she had the most awesome personality and style anyone could ever want. her ex boyfriend called her fat, and it really hurt me to see how much it hurt her. I guess she just became a part of me. in June 2010, I asked her to go out with me, and much to my surprise, she said yes. we only went out for a few weeks, not even a date, because I was too scared to stuff anything up, I didn't even kiss her :/ then, after we broke up, we had a small fight and didn't talk for a few months. after that we started talking and we both matured substantially and became closer friends. i got to know some of her good friends, and started to do everything she did, went out and became a sociable person, just like her. it was the best time of my life, and that's why it's so hard now. so then we were good friends for just under 2 years, then i got annoyed with her ex bf, and she dumped him, and wrongly of me I asked her out when she was feeling down about it all, because I didn't want to see her be treated badly by another guy. Those 3 months were the paramount of my life, no two ways about it. i had the absolute best time of my life, and also, had my first ever valentines with a girl, so i spoilt her. she asked for a special car, so i got her one, and i knew she liked a certain type of food, so i took her out. and to top it all off, we sat in the car and looked over at the Broadwater until the end of the night. not much, but I wouldn't have traded it for the world. after that, she became severely depressed and i got worried. now, ever since I've known her, she was never one to make her problems known, she always kept it to herself, or her counsellor, which is fair enough i suppose. me being me, didn't quite get that, and i persisted in contacting her and trying to see what's wrong and how i could help, which to my knowledge later down the track, i couldn't fix. again, this resulted in a massive fight due to the fact she wouldn't let me help her, and i said a lot of things i didn't mean and also said a lot of things that weren't true. i just got angry and then was destroyed for days, her probably the same. and this is where it all ended. i lost her, i lost everything. her friends i knew wouldn't talk to me either as they didn't want it to be awkward in front of her, which again, is fair enough. last year was a horrible year, after I lost her. I have known her since grade 6, and we have been best friends ever since, so it's been about 7 years in total. when I was younger, she even used to live in the next street and I remember when she told me she was going to move, and how much it hurt. really, it's amazing how much it can affect someone; the things one can say, and I know it's my fault that I said horrible things that made her hate me. I tried contacting her for a second chance, but I know she just doesn't want to see me anymore. every day I see anything about her, or even see her a mutual friend on face book; makes me upset, and I can't continue living my life and seeing it. even when i went out with my friends a few days ago, i saw her driving, my heart raced quicker than it ever has before because i want to talk to her, but i know i cant. I know that's a lot to say about one girl that may not ever talk to me again, but my mind is stupid and won't let good things go. it's been a really tough year, and I just can't take it anymore. other things in life are falling down, and I just don't need the extra stress. I can't find another girl, I don't have any girl friends, I'm just a guy that stuffed up and can't get back up the mountain. I need to know how to talk to her again, and if not I need to know how I can deal with this. sorry this isn't a life threatening story like some, but small things affect me; like I said, I don't know why. thanks for listening, it means a lot.