#we said

         (  @bonniewrites​  for  conor !  )     she looks unhinged  .   it’s  pouring  outside  and  she’s  banging  on  a  door  in  the  middle  of  the  night  -  if  she  had  the  brain  capacity  ,   she’d  be  sobbing  .   but  that’s  only  a  back  thought  when  the  only  thing  on  her  mind  is  that :    FATHER WANTS YOU DEAD.   it’s  supposed  to  be  fun  being  21  ,   and  she  was  out  celebrating  !  the  once  in  a  lifetime  opportunity  to  feel  free  from  civilities  and  oh  ,   was  suzume  going  to  take  part  in  it  .   unfortunately  ,   it  seemed  her  father  wasn’t  against  such  ideas  .   

Don’t find words to replace said, instead make your dialogue speak for the description. 

I don’t want ‘comforted’ to be written, I want to know that person is comforting the other by their use of language in dialogue.

I don’t want ‘someone said’ - I want to know by how their voice sounds, by the words they say, phrases they use. 

I don’t want to see ‘they mocked’ - let me feel the mocking in the words they use, let the voice show the writer that this is mocking. 

Only use ‘someone said’ if you worry the reader will be confused otherwise.

Make your dialogue jump off the page, make your readers hear the conversations and see the natural progression of the writing. 

“What hair? I don’t have any hair! It’s a wig see!” -Spirit0Link