#we divinity

wednesday wip post

YEAH YWAH YEAH so the weird monster sex is the next drabble i’m working on. and throughout we divinity i’ve characterized morpheus as being Terrified of being seen and known. because for ten billion years he’s been fighting to keep hold of sanity and rationality when that is the opposite of his composition because to be otherwise would be unseemly and disgusting and disgraceful and disappointing.

i mean. okay. taking huge liberties with canon as per usual. but he was put on trial for being what he is. the agreement with the first circle was a public humiliation. reality and unreality must be kept separate because you’re doing too much fucking damage. and in we divinity canon it’s established that he didn’t have Control of that. at all. he was a kid. he was told to contain it all or the universe would fall apart and it would be his fault.

so Repressed isn’t a strong enough word. being seen = being out of control = everything dies and it’s my fault. for ten billion years he’s lived like that. not even getting into how heavily it’s implied that time and night had no sympathy for him at all and thought his suffering was like, embarrassing.

lucienne has had several billion years now to wear him down and try to convince him that actually being Known is okay because I Know You and I Love You. so. and he can’t always believe her because how the fuck can he. and she asks him to Lose Control a little bit. blur the lines between aspects. meld her dreamstuff with his. do it the metaphysical way. and he freaks the fuck out he’s like what is Wrong With You are you some kind of freak??? some kind of degenerate pervert???

25. Which fic do you think is your saddest?

i think it's gotta be "the heaviness we've known," my only trigun work... like obviously both "we, divinity" and "i want to be well" deal with heavy shit but in the latter case it's a deeply hopeful story and in the former the point is that The Love Was There Even If It Didn't Change Anything. "the heaviness we've known" is just like. dismal. in my opinion. the love wasn't there when it needed to be and now the distance is insurmountable and your kid only comes home when he needs maintenance which literally requires you to hurt him. like og my god

38. Pick three of your fics and share a song to go with each

GREAT FUCKING QUESTION THANK YOU

i often make entire playlists for fics so this is difficult for me. to narrow it down.

okay i don;t think i ever mentioned it but you know the first part of the first chapter of "benediction" with the little fight on the beach? i listened to rory by foxing OBSESSIVELY for that shit i literally think it's so perfect. like so WHY!!!!!!! DON'T YOU LOVE ME BACK!!!!!!!!!! juzt insane, CRAZY, you KNOW that;s what dream's about because dream's CRAZY, but he's all stoic and teary about it but you should be a little bit scared. because he's fuckijng scary. love this song

then idk if it counts because it's the second chapter ofthe same fic but yeah the second chapter of "benediction" from morph's perspective is i don't mind if i'm with you by brian fallon...... i paid for my sins 'til the blood filled the room i don't feel any better now i don't mind if i'm with you...... you've been a light in the hallway in the dark of my room....... okay. okay. and i LOVE the juxtaposition w/ rory. that's mental illness babey

:D !!!!! it’s part of we divinity, technically, but stands pretty much alone, except it does make reference to rose Accidentally Crashing Lucienne’s Party.

it’s um. it’s a very very very Difficult one. because it’s very much rose dealing with her grief for her mother and for unity and for the actual real fact that she’s the legal guardian of a traumatized child whose abuse she blames herself for and she is Alone. jed is struggling in school and doesn’t care anymore and that’s like, the last straw, rose is So Tired of being an adult when she never fucking got to be a kid. so she’s losing her mind a little bit. and dream decides to pop in

there’s a lot of discussion implicit and explicit about gender + race also. because jed’s abuser was a white man and the guy who tried to kill rose and is popping back into their life is a white man and the kids can’t just be expected to trust him because he claims to be their uncle i mean. what does that matter, really? you know? i do have some irl friends willing to do a sensitivity read for this one once i’m done with it but i expect it will be heavy to say the least.