#we almost dated

Drthgxzuub

You know what sucks? Having to break things off with a guy you really like because you want different things in life even though you want him in your life 😔wanna know what's worse? Tonight he told me he loves me 😭🙈

so this guy I used to have a thing with won't stop texting me I'm so uncomfortable like please leave me alone

He took me to see the stars. Spiraling and spinning around us We were supposed to be looking up but all I could do was look at him. I brought him to my home. Nervous and giddy I drank too much and spilled my anxiety guts and dear god it was such a rush. Foggy and raining with no other witnesses he stole my first kiss. The first one that made my toes curl and my heart stopped. We went to the beach. It was bad idea, cold and wet. But the moon was out and the stars too. He played his guitar and I hummed along, sitting in his lap to soak up his warmth because, even though it's been a short amount of time he was slowly becoming my sun. It's me not you. He told me he wasn't ready for this because his heart wasn't in it, it wasn't me it was him. After a week of radio silence and 4 packs of cigarettes and twice that of beer he came to the conclusion; I wasn't what he wanted. But what else could I say but I'm sorry because, even when they say it's not you it always feel like it is. I reminded him how much he weaved himself into me, took from me, pushed me. But he was firm, unmoving. After it all I said okay. I'm not God, I can't make you stay. We were almost a we. It hasn't been long since I've had to delete you from my life but I can't throw away my couch where we laid, my guitar that you played, my pets that loved you from first sight or the foggy days that will remind me of you. Every cigarette tastes like you and when I wear a certain perfume I can still remember how you would cuddle into my clothes to chase the smell. We weren't together. We had no label, but it was something that started something in me. After it all. I'm left just here. I feel no anger or sadness but I still cry. I don't understand how these things work, he told me he could show me. But how would you do that if you're no longer in my life, you want to stay friends but how can we when I know what you feel like when you're wrapped around me? When all I think about is your stubble on your cheeks? I feel stupid. I am stupid.

@kingjosiefrost and I are so hot. why don’t we have boyfriends?

tbh i used to be so fucking ugly like i had ugly everything but my best friend darius still loved me and he’d always tell me i was beautiful and that just meant so much to me