TRIGGER WARNINGS: Anorexia, abusive relationships, and hint of previous rape.
âI really appreciate you letting him stay with you guys⌠He doesnât want to go andâŚâ Blaine trailed off.
âWe donât care at all.â Adrian smiled as Kyle walked in from their kitchen.
âHoney, are you sure youâre okay if I go?â Kurt asked, looking at Nick.
âIâm fine, Daddy.â Nick sighed.
âAre you sure you donât want to go? Dad and Carole wonât ask you about it.â Kurt asked.
âI donât want to go.â Nickâs voice rose a bit and he begged Kurt to leave it be with his eyes.
âI just hate to be away from you.â Kurt pulled Nick into a hug. âIâm a phone call away, alright? And Iâll get a flight to you if I need to, okay?â
âHeâll be fine.â Kyle promised, smiling after waving at Blaine. âYou guys enjoy Ohio. Weâve got the diet restrictions, we know when his appointments are, and we know where he is. Weâre good.â
Nick looked relived, offering Kyle a small smile.
âHeâll be fine. Weâve also got Davidâs number and we know which ER that Eric works at in case anything happensâbut it wonât.â Adrian added.
âOkay, well⌠Soph and Kris are in the car so we should go.â Blaine frowned. They had really hoped Nick would change his mind last minute and come with themâbut obviously that hadnât happened. Then again, having a conversation with Nick was hard to come by unless you were Kurt (and that was only sometimes) or his therapist.
Kurt hugged Nick again and touched his face. âBe good, okay?â
âIâm nineteen, Daddy.â Nick retorted.
âYou know what I mean. Stick to the plan.â Kurt pulled him in for a last hug. âIâm just a call away.â
Adrian smiled when Kurt gave him a quick hug. âIâve got him. Itâs fine. If we need you guys, weâll call.â
Blaine stepped up to Nick, pulling him close.
âI love you, Dad.â Nick hugged Blaine back.
âI love you too.â Blaine kissed the top of his head and then pulled back. âCall me if you need to.â
Nick nodded, waving as his parents left.
âCâmon. Weâve been sitting outside. Weâve got a heater on so itâs not even cold.â Adrian wrapped an arm around him.
âThanks for letting me stay.â Nick spoke softly.
âYouâre always welcome here.â Kyle said. âAre you thirsty? Weâve got water, juice, milk⌠we know you canât have soda.â
âUhm, I can get myself a water bottle.â Nick said. âI know where they are.â
âNo. Iâll get it and bring it to you outside.â Kyle turned and went towards the kitchen.
âKyleâs done research.â Adrian laughed, leading Nick outside. âHeâs been looking up recipes for us to try this weekend⌠I told him it was a better bet to ask your input first.â
Nick forced a smile, sitting on their large porch swing. He pulled his knees to his chest, looking around.
Adrian sat next to him, falling silent.
Several minutes passed before Nick let out a small sigh.
âAre you okay?â Adrian asked him.
âI miss Daddy.â Nick admitted, hugging his legs tightly.
âWe can call him.â Adrian pulled out his phone.
âNo.â Nick said softly, taking a sip of his water bottle that Kyle had given him a few minutes before.
âHow are you doing?â Adrian watched him carefully.
âNot so great.â Nick looked out into the yard, looking at a small âplaygroundâ in the corner that he remembered playing in when he was younger and staying with him. It had always been so much fun to stay with Adrian and Kyle on weekends.
âDo you want to talk about it?â Adrian didnât take his eyes off Nick.
âMy ex texted me today.â Nick frowned.
âHe wants me to come back, the usual.â Nick sighed but seemed to have relaxed a bit, no longer clutching his legs so tightly that he fingers were going white.
âNickâŚâ Adrian frowned. âCan I tell you something? Something I havenât even told Kurt or Blaine?â
âI did professional modeling until I was nineteen.â
âAre you going to tell me you had an eating disorder too?â Nick frowned. âBecause thatâs notââ
âNo. Iâm going to tell you that when I was seventeen, I got into an abusive relationship.â Adrian took a deep breath.
Nick turned to face him, shocked.
âWe got together when I was barely seventeen. He was a few years older and a model.â Adrian began shakily. âAnd it was great at first but six months in we would get into these really, really horrible fights. They got more and more terrifying; heâd tear me down with words. It was stereotypical really. The next day heâd surprise me with a gift, apologize, and say it would never happen again. But eventually the fights turned physical⌠on his end, not mine, because I never hit back.â
Nick watched him, barely blinking.
âPretty quick after that, he quit caring if I would get bruised or cut where it was noticeable. It got worse and worse until I get fired from my modeling agency because it was too hard to cover up the bruises and the cuts⌠and my heart was never in it because I was pretty miserable.â Adrian took another deep, shuddery breath. âAnd eventually he just⌠well, one time he forced me to do things and after that morning, I went to the police. There was an inspection but nothing ever came from it. Lack ofâŚâ
âEvidence.â Nick bit his lip. His dad had gotten a call from the UCLA campus cops stating that as well.
âAnd I felt worthless. Like I didnât even deserve to be alive because Iâd ruined modeling which Iâd always wanted to do⌠for the wrong reasons, probably but⌠it was the plan Iâd picked, you know? Listen, I donât know how bad your relationship was but anything that brings you to this point⌠itâs bad. You canât take score. But I know how it feels to have everything pulled out from under you. To have put up with abuse and everything fall apart and then to just exist and wonder why youâre even here. Or why you even want to bother with⌠with getting better.â
Nick swallowed, wiping his eyes roughly.
âAnd Iâm so sorry you went through it.â Adrian started to cry. âBecause I know how hard it is to have to come back from everything b-but I wanted you to know I understand m-more than your parents might or⌠or maybe anyone you know. And that good will come from it. It takes a long, long time. But good will come out of it.â
Nick covered his mouth, crying.
âI mean y-youâll get there sooner than you think and y-youâll go to school and youâll slowly pick up the pieces and one day youâll meet the right guy who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. I know itâs hard to believe but I promise you it will happen. Iâve been there and⌠and I wouldnât want to go back but sometimes going through this stuff throws you off b-balance but it puts you back into balance in the p-perfect place even if you didnât know there was another perfect place.â Adrian leaned over, wrapping his arms tightly around Nick. âBecause youâll get to your perfect place, okay? I promise you, itâs out there.â
Nick nodded, trying to cry quietly so he wouldnât draw Kyleâs attention to them.
âIt gets better. It does.â Adrian ruffled his hair and kissed the top of his head. âI promise.â
Nick took several deep breaths, trying to stop his tears. âH-How did you make him go away?â
âI didnât stay in the area. I left. The texts and calls lasted a few months⌠Until I got married, he actually tracked me down like five times and would be waiting at my house when Iâd get back from school or work. One day Blaine walked up on that happening but he had no idea what was going on. He just thought it was someone I didnât want to talk to.â Adrian admitted.
âUntil you got married?â
âYeah. He showed up at our house when Kyle and I were engaged⌠I donât know what Kyle said or did but Iâve not heard from him sense.â Adrian sniffled and wiped his eyes. âHow often does he text you?â
âIt used to be every day⌠now itâs a few times a week.â Nick whispered, wiping his own eyes again.
âTell Blaine. Get a new number.â Adrian whispered, hugging him. âYour parents are famous⌠heâd be very stupid to try to see you in person.â
âIs it weird that I donât want to get a new number? That I⌠want him to text me?â
âItâs not weird but itâs unhealthy.â Adrian pulled back. âEventually you have to cut the ties. He wasnât there when you were going to the hospital, he didnât visit you in the hospital, he didnât contact you for two months. He doesnât care about you. Heâs playing with your mind.â
âI know. I know.â Nick let out a shuddery breath.
âGet a new number. Block his number, delete him from your contacts, delete your social media pages. Just get rid of it and void any chance for temptation or weakness.â Adrian bit his lip. âIâm so sorry youâre going through this, Nick.â
âThank you for telling me⌠about you.â Nick met his eyes. âI wonât tell my parents.â
âThanks. Only Kyle and AJ know what happened.â Adrian gave him a sad smile.
âNot even your parents?â Nick asked.
âNo. I didnât live at home. And they loved him⌠I had a tough time of shattering that image back then because at the time, I still believed he was a good but very troubled person⌠and by the time I felt I could say it out loud so much time had passed and I didnât want to reopen stuff for myself, so Iâve just⌠not told many people.â Adrian frowned.
âHaving the most popular gay couple in America for parents kind of ruined that option for me.â Nick laughed a bit.
Adrian smiled. âIâm always here, okay? Even if you want to call me in the middle of the night⌠and Kyleâs really great to talk to as well⌠Just in case you ever want to talk to someone thatâs a friend and not a professional⌠Therapists never really helped me much.â
âGroup therapy does nothing but I like the therapist Iâve been seeing.â Nick admitted, almost feeling like weight had been lifted off of him by talking about it with someone who wasnât Kurt or Blaine.
It wasnât that he didnât want to talk to them, but they were already having a hard enough time managing right now. Plus, if he complained that group therapy wasnât working it would technically be breaking his exit plan contract. If his parents felt he was trying to slack off, he could be put back into the outpatient program again⌠and he really didnât want that.
âListening to other people complain always annoyed me.â Adrian sighed. âI think I went twice and then I would go see a movie by myself and pretend Iâd gone.â
Nick smiled a bit. Heâd never said heâd gone to an appointment when he hadnât, but that was mainly for Kurtâs state of mind.
âDonât do that.â Adrian warned. âBlaine will kill me.â
âI wonât.â Nick promised.
âYou may be sick of hearing it but youâre doing really, really good. I can only imagine how hard it must be to have gone through an abusive relationship and have an eating disorderâŚâ
âIâm trying.â Nick pulled his knees back to his chest. âDaddyâs overwhelmed⌠Itâs why Dadâs taking him to Ohio.â
Adrian put his hand on Nickâs bad, rubbing it absentmindedly to comfort him. âI bet you wish you could go somewhere and take your mind off it, huh?â
Nick nodded and let out a deep breath. âIâm feeling kind of tired⌠is it okay if I take a nap until dinner?â
âOf course.â Adrian nodded. âWhichever room you want is fine.â
âThanks.â Nick went into their house, sidestepping to avoid hitting Kyle who was walking by and looking at his phone.
âYou okay?â Kyle asked, looking up.
âJust going to take a nap before dinner.â Nick responded.
âIâll get you when dinner is ready.â Kyle smiled. âWhichever room you want is yours.â
âThanks.â Nick said, smiling a bitâKyle and Adrian may have been opposites, but they were also so similar.
He went into the guest room that he and Zach had always slept in when spending the nights when they were younger.
He plopped on the bed and pulled out his own phone. Two more texts from him.
Fuck you, Nick texted back before blocking his exâs phone number.
He then went into his contacts, selecting Zach and beginning to type out a message to him. Â
Hey, can you guys come to the house sometime soon? I miss you.
Miss you too, Zach sent almost immediately. Nickâs phone dinged a second time. Youâre staying a Adrian and Kyleâs right? How about dinner tomorrow?
Sounds good, Nick typed back and took a deep breath and then sent a follow up text.
Can you call me tonight too? Later?
Iâll call as soon as I get Ellie picked up from daycare and get her fed. Iâm leaving school soon.
Nick let out a relived sigh. He didnât know why heâd pushed Zach away the last several monthsâtalking to Kurt eased him a bit, but Zach always seemed to know the right thing to say.
About five minutes later, he received a text of Ellie strapped into her car seat. She was fast asleep, a bottle in one hand with her head tilted up and a line of milk coming out of her mouth.
Nick snorted loudly and looked up when Adrian peeked his head in the room.
âHey, dinnerâs done if youâre ready for some.â Adrian whispered.
âOkay.â Nick pocketed his phone and followed Adrian to the kitchen. âI blocked his number.â
Adrian smiled at him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. âDo you feel better?â
âI think so, yeah.â Nick nodded. âThank you. I wouldnât have if you hadnât talked to me. I⌠It means a lot, so thank you.â
âYouâre welcome.â Adrian smiled again as Kyle came in with plate of baked chicken, broccoli, and a roll for Nick.
âIf you donât like it or want it, we can either get something else or go out.â Kyle said.
âThis is fine.â Nick gave a small, mostly forced smile and sat at the table.
Adrian went to make his own plate.
Nick felt a sense of relief when Kyle sat down, eating and not paying attention to whether Nick had even started to eat. He was so used to feeling Kurtâs eyes on him every so often making sure it looked like he was eating.
Maybe Kurt wasnât the only one who needed a break from their new routineâmaybe staying with Kyle and Adrian was going to be good for Nick.