#waynesitter

✧ Whenever Dick runs away, he always goes to Amusement Mile, Gotham’s entertainment district, where Haley’s Circus used to be. When something really bad happens, Dick would actually leave town to follow the Circus’ tour. But for now, you pull over by the boardwalk.

✧ “Stay in the car.”

✧ “What if there’s trouble?”

✧ “I’ll light up a bat signal.”

✧ “Harhar, Y/N.”

✧ You quickly find Dick inside the large tent just sitting in the middle of the ring. He always greets you with a sheepish smile and pursed lips.

✧ “Time to go back already?”

✧ “I have two volatile children and Tim stuck in a Prius so…”

✧ Dick laughs and slowly gets up. “Okay.” When he reaches you, he stops and rests his head on your shoulder. You hear him sigh and quietly say, “I don’t know what I’m doing, Y/N. I’m no leader.”

✧ It’s one of those days. One when all the responsibility is on Dick’s shoulders and he feels like no one taught him how to be an adult. Not his parents. Not Bruce or Alfred. He still feels like a child. Most of the time you think he’s more a child than Damian. But the innocent kind. Not the murder you in your sleep kind. Or the annoying brat kind in general.

✧ “Y/N.”

✧ “Oh, sorry. I spaced out.”

✧ “Y/N!” he chuckles, “this is supposed to be the part where you say something that’ll motivate me to do the right thing.”

✧ “The right thing? I don’t even know the difference between laundry detergent and fabric conditioner. They both just clean clothes, right?” 

✧ He laughs. “Right.”

✧ “But Dick… No one’s ever going to say the exact thing you need to hear because only you know what that is. You just have to be patient with yourself and continue to listen to your gut. The fact that you’re here means you feel like you did something wrong. So it’s time to go and fix it.”

✧ As far as your speeches go, persuading Dick to go home is the easiest. But when it comes to Tim, you need to be a bit more creative. Or diabolical.

✧ “Uh, Robin. Your babysitter’s here to see you.”

✧ “Don’t let--”

✧ “Thanks, Beast Boy. Next time you’re in Gotham I’ll give you a tour of the cave. Oh hey, Tim. Fancy seeing you here.”

✧ “You’re in San Francisco. You’re at the Titans Tower. You know I would be here.”

✧ “Really? But why would you be all the way here when they need you in Gotham? BB just told me--”

✧ “BB??”

✧ “-- that the other Titans are home for the summer. Like you should be. Suspicious.”

✧ “Why are you here, Y/N?”

✧ You smile and take out a small folder from your bag. “I need help with Chemistry--”

✧ “Chemistry? You’re a lit maj-- Wait a minute… These are the compounds for Scarecrow’s fear toxin.”

✧ “Nope. Look at the bonding element.”

✧ “... It’s... It’s a mutation of Joker’s laughing gas!”

✧ Of course, once you get back, you’ll tell Tim you just fudged elements together and you’re surprised and proud of yourself for making up a whole new deadly chemical. By then, Damian or Jason is ready to apologize to Tim just like you practiced.

✧ On the other side of the spectrum, the least bat you have to worry about is Cass. Whenever she goes missing it’s the only time you volunteer to bring a Wayne back. Only because you always find her sitting on your couch hugging a bowl of popcorn.

✧ “What series are we binging tonight, Y/N?”

✧ “Legends of Tomorrow? It’s about a group of misfit superheroes who fixes history. You might recognize a few costumes.”

✧ Cass recognizes all of them. Sometimes you forget that Cass isn’t a civilian and she’s even more of a vigilante than the boys. That this is what most her life has been and she has no inclination to quit it.

✧ “Can I live with you?”

✧ “You can’t, Cass. You’ll know all my bad habits and then you won’t want to be my friend.”

✧ “You’re more than a friend, Y/N. You’re family.”

✧ “Oh god. I mean no offense, Cass. I love you, but the only reason you’re always trying to kill each other is because you’re family. I don’t want to be in your Lord of the Flies.”

✧ Cass doesn’t really get it. “They know every bad thing about me… but they still want me.”

✧ “Oh.”

✧ Cass is the most observant person you know. She knows exactly how the family feels about her and they would move Earths for her. But having never experienced any kind of love growing up and then jumping into their unconditional love, it shocks you and leaves you anxious about the day when the dream is over.

✧ “You can live with me one day but you gotta pay rent. I’m not letting you mooch off of me.”

✧ Cass smiles at you. You turn back to the TV and she curls up beside you all night before you take her home in the morning.

✧ Jason’s another one that’s easy to find. He always holes up in his own apartment because no one in his family would dare bother him there when he’s in a mood. This is one of those moments when you’re glad you’re not family.

✧ “Open up, Zombie boy!”

✧ “When are you going to stop calling me that?”

✧ “When you go to a derma and finally get rid of those autopsy scars. Seriously, Jason, they’re unsettling.”

✧ Jason touches his chest and then stays quiet the whole time you settle yourself in his apartment. With Jason, there are no words or tricks to play. Whenever he’s seen too much of the family he just needs time and distance. You’re only there to shorten that time and make sure the distance stays within city limits.

✧ “Can you sing it again?”

✧ But Jason makes you pay the highest price. Ever since he heard you whistle and sing The Dancing and the Dreaming from How to Train Your Dragon 2, he always asks you to sing it when he’s not particularly feeling high on his horse. So how could you refuse?

✧ “Sure. But could we not do a duet this time? It makes me feel like we’re having a Viking wedding.”

✧ “Damian would love that.”

✧ It’s bad. If Jason doesn’t fight you for that duet and just wants to close his eyes and listen, then something really bad happened. So you sing while you watch Jason relax in his chair. You maintain a slow tempo throughout the whole song.

✧ When Jason finally opens his eyes, tears slip through. He’s staring at you with wide eyes and he touches his cheeks, wondering why they’re wet. Your lips quiver and you bite them before you approach Jason and wipe his cheeks.

✧ “Was my singing that bad?”

✧ Jason blows on your face and laughs even though he’s still crying.

✧ You didn’t really know what to do when Alfred told you Damian ran back home. Isn’t this his home? But when you’re strapped in the batplane with the Batman, especially since he’s also your boss, you can’t really opt out anymore.

✧ “Mr. W-- Er Batman? Is it really smart to bring civilian me to the base of one of your mortal enemies?”

✧ “The League knows all of our identities--”

✧ “Yeah, but I think I’d feel a lot safer in a bullet-proof costume like yours. No offense.”

✧ “They use swords here, Y/N.”

✧ “Oh… kevlar can’t stop that?”

✧ When you arrive, the fortress is even more intimidating and terrifying than you imagined. You stick close to Batman, clutching his cape, and warily eye the assassins clad in all black, stationed at almost every corner.

✧ “It sort of feels like the cave. Maybe if you trained more bats, you can finally get some sleep or go to your 10 AM meetings.”

✧ Batman can’t suppress his grin. “Do you really want more of them to take care of?”

✧ “I would quit. Or make you quadruple my salary.”

✧ When you finally see Damian after several days of his disappearance, you forget yourself and run to him, only to be met with the hilt of a sword an inch away from your neck.

✧ Damian’s eyes widen when he realizes it’s you and drops his sword. He looks horrified. Quickly forgetting your own shock, you bend down and pick him up to hold him tight in your arms. You can feel him sobbing against your shoulder.

✧ “Beloved. I see you’ve started involving your servants in your crusade.”

✧ “Don’t be jealous, Talia. She’s only family.”

✧ “Damian,” you whisper. “Ready to go home? I might need your help in stopping Bruce from adopting me.”

✧ Damian sniffs. “That mustn’t happen if we’re going to be married in the future.”

✧ You don’t leave Damian’s side until you get back to the manor. You stay later just to lie beside him in his bed until he falls asleep. You’re brushing his hair when a thought comes to you. “You know, in the future, maybe run away to Paris. I hear they have an old cave network there. It might take me days or weeks to bring you home.”

✧ Damian scoffs and smiles. He turns to his other side, away from you. “Y/N, I’m trying to sleep.”

✧ “Yeah, but think about it okay? What are you doing tomorrow?”

Notes: Here’s that version of the song YN sings to Jason. Fair warning, it’s a Drarry animation.

✧ Dick props you back up and he’s grinning wider as he grabs your shoulders, “If you had to choooooose” he drags out the word as he pulls Jason and Tim back to your field of vision, “Who would it be?”

✧ “Questions like these start wars, Dick.”

✧ “Replacement’s right. Haven’t you read the Trojan War?”

✧ “That’s what you’re going with, Jason!”

✧ You sit up straight on the couch and stare at the three of them, making them stop. You make sure to deliver your retort with a deadpan expression, “I’d wait for Damian to turn 18 then live the rest of my life as a gold-digging cougar. Oh! And I would build a pool in the West wing.”

✧ “I’ll allow it,” Damian answers from one of the armchairs in front of you. He’s leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands folded in front of his face. “But after we condition your hips to be fit for child-bearing.”

✧ You walk out and cry to Alfred because Cass won’t even let you into her room. She’s too upset that you would choose Damian and the manor over her and a little apartment in the middle of the city like you’ve always talked about.

✧ “It’s one thing to be called fat, Alfred. But to be told I’m not woman enough by a 13-year-old?” Your eyes widen as you clutch the hem of his vest, “What does he even mean by condition my hips?”

✧ “Y/N, why wait for master Damian when master Bruce is already in his prime. He could use a woman like you to keep him in line.”

✧ You grimace. “Alfred. Are we working for the same guy? Would you date Bruce?”

✧ Alfred gives you a long look before he speaks again, “Perhaps I can introduce you to one of my nephews when they visit?”

✧ “Now we’re talking.”

✧ One day, you do fall for someone. Someone great and surprisingly none of the Wayne’s are hounding you with background checks, date stakeouts, or random texts asking if you need help bailing out on the date.

✧ You’re happy for a while but then you start getting suspicious because of the lack of Wayne activity. They’ve done it to all of your dates before, so why not now? 

✧ You start stalking your date every now and then, trying to catch him and see if he’s actually Dick in disguise. Or he’s someone Jason paid off to show you a good time. Or maybe it’s one of Tim and Damian’s alien friends. He could be Cass, too. You never know.

✧ In the end, your longest almost normal relationship ended because of your own paranoia. He broke up with you because of all the sleuthing and doubts.

✧ You were so devastated that you couldn’t bring yourself to walk into the manor. So you walk home and you text Bruce and Alfred that you can’t make it. It took you three hours to get back to your apartment and your feet are killing you. You slump over the couch and before you know it, you’ve been staring at the wall until past midnight.

✧ You hear a lot of whispers and scuffling from your fire escape. You groan when you hear them creak open your window. “Go away.”

✧ “We come in peace. We even brought Steph.”

✧ For every physical talent Cass and the boys possessed, god took back an essential social skill. Aside from you, Steph is their go-to empathy guru. “Oh, baby,” she watches you untangle yourself from the couch and hugs you tight. “Come here.” You bury your face in her shoulder and swallow back a sob. You can smell the gunpowder and smoke.

✧ “Did you have to come in your suits? You’re going to get Gotham on my carpet.”

✧ Jason bends down to look at you and gives you a proud grin and thumbs up. "Don't worry, Y/N. We made sure that guy regrets hurting you."

✧ You stare at Jason and you start snickering little by little until it turns into full-blown laughter. "He's Alfred's nephew!"

✧ "Shit--!” 

✧ “Dick, this is all your fault."

✧ "Woah hey-- It was your idea--Hey! Tim! Cass! Wait for me!"

✧ “Damian, you knew didn’t you!”

✧ “See you in hell, Todd.”

✧ You grin against Steph’s shoulder who’s giggling, “He wasn’t really, right?”

✧ “Nope. Now, they’ll race to see who can apologize to Alfred first.”

✧ “They’re going to dig their own graves!” 

✧ You sigh in satisfaction, "I feel better already."

✧ Now more than ever, everyone was sneaking out into the night to fight bad guys who are taking advantage of the dead streets and stockpiled houses. Every time they come home you make them line up and water them down with a high-pressure hose.     “Is this!” “Really!” “Necessary!”       “Dick, the more you open your mouth, the worst it’s gonna get.”

✧ You spend most of your mornings vigorously wiping down their costumes. This is the most dangerous job you’ve had so far because the gloves would sometimes eject sharp talons or the chest symbol will electrocute you.

✧ It’s also the most bizarre because you keep finding random things in their utility belts. Jason has hundreds of candy wrappers tucked away in each bag. Lemon flavored.

✧ Tim has receipts for coffee at different convenient stores. Some receipts have two cups or there are 5 receipts just from one night.

✧ Dick has different kinds of pieces of paper and tissues with numbers and names written on them. He chuckles that he forgot about them and just heaves them into the trash.

✧ Damian’s pockets are the cleanest. So clean that you find him always replenishing his stock. You stare at him and wonder if you wish he was actually using them all every night or stocking them up somewhere to be used on his brothers later.

✧ Cassandra’s... you stare at the picture you pull out from the smallest pouch. It’s a picture of everyone in the family, wrinkled and creased, folded several times over. It’s from the game night you had played months ago and Tim set up cameras to make sure no one cheated. You remind yourself to ask for a copy later.

✧ Bruce never lets you touch his suit. You argue that Alfred taught you how to clean it. No scent. But he doesn’t relent. So you give him the supplies and let him do it himself.

✧ But it’s Alfred who does it and you complain that you offered. That you know how. That you’re careful. It’s not like you’ve been injured this morning. Alfred smiles and asks for your assistance to start making breakfast instead.

✧ For the first time in a long time, it’s always a full house at meal times. It makes your heart feel warm and fuzzy seeing all of the empty chairs filled in and laughter hovering over the meal.

✧ Of course this also meant there’s a lot more shouting and fighting and food being flung over your heads. Or in your face, especially when Jason keeps using you as a shield against Tim’s asaults.     “God if you exist, please let this be over soon.”

✧ Things started to look serious when one of the thugs coughed in Tim’s face. Dick quickly offered an assist and wiped his face down, screaming for Tim to close his eyes and not breathe. While Bruce and Jason dropped the goon at the hospital for a test.

✧ You were all relieved to hear that the thug tested negative. But this struck a nerve in you and you put your foot down, along with Alfred and Cass’s support. No one was allowed outside anymore. Gotham be damned.

✧ You lock up everyone’s suits and sealed every exit you can think of. For good measure, Barbara talked you through bugging the boys and Bruce so you can see if they’re still within the compound.

✧ Tim was more than happy to comply. He doesn’t want another scare like that and he could use the time to catch up on some paperwork for his classes. He pines away in the study, grading papers.

✧ Dick whines a lot. No matter which room you’re in, you can hear his voice fake-crying about Bludhaven, the citizens, and the fresh air. You hear muffled sounds every now and then which means Jason has had enough and thrown a book at him. In the end, he joins Tim in the study to do some detective work.

✧ Jason’s always in there too. Calmly reading a book. It’s so strange to see. You always give him tea and some snacks and he chats with you about which part he’s on before going back to reading. You would scheme with Alfred to buy more books in the same genres or from the same authors because at this rate Jason’s going to run out books before the quarantine is over. And you don’t want to find out how cabin fever will look on him.

✧ Cass stays in the training room. Music blasting against the walls. She dances the days away. You would go in every other hour to make sure she’s hydrated and taking breaks. You also stay a while to watch because it’s so hypnotizing. Her moves are deadly and graceful.

✧ Damian spends half of his days locked in his room. Then when he gets sick of being alone, he follows you around the manor while you tend to his siblings and do chores around the place. He waits patiently, but not quietly, until you’re done. Then it’s time.

✧ The two of you would always make a fort in the living room and have a makeshift projector that displays the stars above you. You would lay there and compare stories of your childhood. Despite the gore and horror, you’re always amazed at how much he has done and survived. And he found yours odd.

✧ After spending all day in the cave monitoring and deploying his new bat drones (you snorted at the name) to fight crime in his stead, Bruce would join you in the fort. He would always say the password, making you and Damian snicker. He’d raise his eyebrows at the two of you before plopping down next to Damian and stargaze at your fake stars.

✧ An hour before dinner, the fort would be full and everyone is fighting for the chance to tell stories from their past, their childhood, and hints of secret plans lined up when the quarantine is over.

✧ Alfred promptly gets up to start making dinner and you leave to help him. You brace yourself before you call them into the dining room, for the worst part of the evening. “Are you ready for war, Y/N?”     “Never. Can’t we just eat in the fort? Everyone seems to be more calm when they’re lying on the floor and not looking at each other.”

✧ You hang up on Dick without replying but you always call him back afterward, just to hear him pretend-cry that you don’t love him anymore.

✧ It’s more difficult with Jason because he always just shows up and takes over your time.

      “It’s laundry night, Jason. I am not going to the bar with you.”

      “But they have a two-for-one special!”

      “You can eat two by yourself, can’t you?”

✧ He looks at you like you just said something crazy. “What? And eat alone?” In the end, Jason always takes your clothes to the dry cleaners and drags you to the bar. You stay out until the sun is rising again and you’re the one bringing a drunk Jason home.

✧ When you arrive at the manor, Alfred is tending the garden and you promptly deliver Jason into his arms.

     “Isn’t it your day off, Y/N?”

     “Please. Please. PLEASE. Tell them that.”

✧ Alfred would always invite you in for a cup of tea and you never have the heart to refuse him. He lets you nap in one of the extra bedrooms so you can at least catch some semblance of sleep.

✧ Whenever you wake up in the manor, you always find Cassandra curled up next to you, touching your back. You turn around and wrap your arms around her. Then fall back to sleep.

✧ Most of the time you find yourself concentrating so well during lectures that you don’t notice people changing seats around you. Not until it becomes very obvious that the child sitting next to you is not a college student.

     “Is this how you spend your days off, YN? It’s not very productive.”

     You angry whisper, “How did you even get in here?”

✧ Damian would then point to Tim who’s sitting on your other side. “They just assumed I’m a student here.” He grins, “Plus, they allow dogs on campus.”

✧ Damian would leap onto the desk and try to maul Tim on the spot who uses his foot to keep Damian at bay. You apologize multiple times to the class as you drag the two of them outside.

    “If I lose another class, I’m not going to have enough credits this semester!”

✧ On days when you can’t sit still at home, you would walk around Gotham city during the day. Every time, without fail, Bruce Wayne would bump into you. 

     “Oh, Y/N. I was about to call you.”

     You reply with a heavy sigh, “Mr. Wayne, please. It’s my last day off.”

✧ He would always chuckle and apologize. But you watch him take a wrong turn into a dark alley or end up somewhere in the slums that you wonder how could a young billionaire be so careless. Doesn’t he see his billboards all over Gotham?

✧ So you have no choice but to follow him, grab the grown man by the elbow and drag him back to the main street. He would thank you and smile as you walk around the city.

✧ You finally get home, slip into your pajamas and lie in your bed as you go through your phone. A notification pops and it Dick sending you a picture of you and Bruce. Right after, he would Facetime you and ask why you didn’t invite him along.

✧ You would sit up because you can hear other voices yelling your name or asking if that’s you on the phone. You would watch as so many faces to try sneak in the small frame of Dick’s phone.

     “We miss you!”

     “Guys. I saw all of you today.”

     “Jason.”

     Cass answers suddenly which catches the attention of the whole room. Jason stares at her as a growing blush slowly covers his whole face.

     “Wait.” Dick is visibly flabbergasted but more upset. He points a finger at Cass, “Is that Y/N’s answer or-“

     “Mine,” she answers with a smile.

     “Why?” Tim asks, sounding skeptical and a little outraged.

     Cass places a finger below her lips and looks up, listing things in her head for a moment. Jason is the easy choice for her. She knows that when death comes knocking for one of them, he won’t bat an eyelid to kill the harbinger. Cass needs that. She needs someone to do what she can’t do.

     There are other reasons, too, smaller ones. Like how Jason is a brute but he’s tender when he’s applying first aid on her wounds. How he quotes books she’s never read. How he sings while he cooks.

     “Because he’s the most handsome,” she teases and you’re already hating her for the chaos that ensues.

     If you think Dick was offended before, now he looks like Cass just stepped on his grave. “Lies,” he hisses.

     Cass snickers which eggs him even more. Tim’s frowning when looks to you, “I always thought I was her favorite…” he says trying to sound nonchalant but failing.

     “Tim,” you look at him with a straight gaze, “If I had a daughter, you’re the only one I would introduce her to.” Tim practically straightens his body in joy. You point your finger at him and wink, “So you better make sure you get her into an Ivy League.”

     Tim rolls his eyes and groans. 

     You chuckle. You weren’t lying though. Tim is the most dependable and responsible out of everyone in the manor. He’s not great at taking care of himself, God knows he goes days without sleeping and won’t notice until he passes out, but whenever he sees someone injured or just plain exhausted, he goes into full big brother mode.

     “I knew it! You just want me for my brains.”

     “At least you get Y/N’s daughter! Cass won’t even acknowledge that I’m the most fun and loving brother!” Dick quickly turns to Jason with the distaste of a childhood rival, “You’ve been quiet. You must feel so smug right now.”

     Jason pretends to inspect his cuticles, “What was that? I can’t hear you over all the handsomeness I’m emitting.”

     Someone tugs on your sleeve and you see Damian sitting next to you now. He half covers his mouth to whisper something to you, “I know I’m your favorite.”

     You twitch a little, “Really? How so?”

     “You always see me last before you leave.”

     Half true. Damian is the only one living at the manor full time so you always see him. He’s also still a child so you always have to check on him before you leave, making sure he’s still on the property and not out of the country without Bruce’s knowledge like that one time—

     “I also overheard you talking to Alfred.”

     Okay. Guilty. Whenever Alfred comes back early, he asks you how you are and you would always go into these rants about everything they did. You love them as much as you hate them but ever since you first met Damian, you’ve always had a soft spot for him, so everything he does is almost endearing to you.

     He was in the garden with the dog when Lucius first dropped you off at the manor. You watched this stern little kid try to talk the dog into sitting down, gesturing the proper movement for the action, and staring Titus down like a boarding school principal.

     But Titus did sit down and the wide and bright smile on Damian was too precious. He was beaming so hard that for a second there he lost his composure. You knew right then and there that this kid deserves more love than he can handle.

     You place your finger on your lips and whisper, “Don’t tell them.”

     “What’s this?” Jason calls out loudly, “Damian and Y/N are conspiring with each other.”

     “It’s none of your business, Todd.”

     “You’re bribing her, aren’t you?”

     “Jason, you already have Cass. Stop being so greedy,” Dick replies, obviously still wounded. 

     “Who’s your favorite?” Cass suddenly asks him. You almost want to hug her. Of course, the best way to nurse an emotionally hurting Dick Grayson is by giving him the upperhand.

     Dick is already grinning as his eyes sweep around the room. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

     “That’s why she asked, Dick,” Tim answers, almost bored of this topic.

     “We don’t wanna know,” Jason adds.

     “No. No. I’ll tell you.” He looks around, taking in the suspense that was slowly building. “It’s…” Dick takes his time looking at all of you.

     “Any day, Richard,” you mock.

     “You know what?” Dick crosses his arms and pretends to be hurt but the grin on his face is giving him away. “I don’t want to tell you.”

     Jason groans and Tim just rests his head on the back of the sofa. You and Cass smile because it’s such a typical Dick thing to do, and it finally got everyone off your back.

     “Have you all gone deaf?” Alfred pokes his head under the living room doorway. “I’ve been calling the lot of you for dinner for 5 minutes. Even master Bruce is already at the table.”

     “Bruce!” everyone simultaneously yells out. Cass and the boys leap over the couch to get to the dining room, surprising and angering Alfred as they pass him.

     “Goodness-- It’s like living with wild animals.”

     “I’ve been telling you that since my first day!” you whine as you walk to the dining room.

     Alfred grins at you, “We both know you’ve grown fond of them.”

     As you get closer, their riotous goating of Bruce got louder.

     “Come on, Bruce! You can’t not have a favorite!”

     “The moment you tell us it’s not Dick, then we’ll be happy.”

     “Stuff you, Jason. Just because you’re definitely not in the running doesn’t mean you can drag me down.”

     “You’re all wasting your breath. Of course, I’m his favorite. I’m his real son.”

     The room suddenly goes quiet. This was the worst time to enter. Cass, Tim, Jason, and Dick are staring at Damian, and then they roll their eyes and fill the room with a collective ‘oooh’.

     “Look at me! I’m Damian! I’m his son!” Jason sways his hips as he mocks.

     “Look, I have my father’s eyebrows,” teases Dick.

     “Being his son means he’s obligated to love you, you know.”

     “Shut up, Drake!”

     Bruce turns to you and you’ve never seen so many worry lines on the cool and collected millionaire until this moment. He’s practically begging you to help him. “Um,” you say out loud, trying to drown their voices, “Cass is definitely the best girl here!”

     They all turn to you. Alfred leaves you to sit at the table with the rest of them. Traitor you almost want to mutter. He gives you a look saying good luck because you’re digging your own grave.

     “I mean, isn’t she though?” You walk over to Cass and hug her from behind. “If you guys ever got caught, like really caught, and I mean like you can’t fight your way out, or your talk your way out, who would you call first?”

     The boys look at each other and think for a moment. Some of them nod and purse their lips. Cass holds onto your arms and turns to her side to kiss you on the cheek. You immediately smile and feel giddy that you lean your cheeks against each other. That was enough to calm everyone down because if anyone would dare ruin the moment none of them would be leaving the table alive.

     Dinner lasted longer than usual. You yawn as you walk to the door with Dick.

     “Want me to drop you off on my way to Bludhaven?”

     You nod quickly, “You’re an angel.” He chuckles but you quickly remember something. “One sec.”

     As soon as you go back into the house, Damian’s standing there. “You almost forgot me.”

     “I could never.” You lift Damian in your arms and carry him off to his room, an extraordinary milestone that took you a month to reach. 

     “You tired, Dami?” He’s nodding off against your shoulders but still manages to suppress a yawn. You enter his room and lay him down on his bed. “What are you doing tomorrow?” You always ask him. When Damian thinks about his plans for the next day, it seems to put him to sleep faster.

     He finally yawns, “I’m patrolling with father.”

     “And during the day?”

     “Training Goliath.”

     You flinch. You’ve seen Goliath and you vow to yourself to never go exploring in the caves again. “H-how fun…” you mutter. You brush his hair until he closes his eyes. “I’ll be back in two days, okay? Tell me about it then?”

     Damian lazily nods with his brows and turns to his side. You tuck in his blanket before you leave and head home.

     Eerily, the drive back to your apartment is quiet. You sneak a look at Dick and see a more serious expression on his face. You nudge him.

     “Hey! Driving here--”

     “Wanna know who Bruce’s favorite is?” you tease with half-lidded eyes.

     “Who is it?” you don’t answer so he takes a quick look at you and finds you raising your brows and smiling. He laughs, “No way!” then he stops, “Yes way? Are you serious?” You just smile at him and nod once. “I don’t believe you. How could you obtain such valuable information?”

     “When you take your suits off, you guys are a lot easier to read than you think.”

     “Gosh, Y/N. If you ever become a villain, you might just take over this town.”

     You shake your head at such a ridiculous notion. You hate crime-fighting and you hate crime even more. You suddenly punch Dick in the shoulder.

     “Ow!”

     “You better not tell your brothers!”

     He rubs his shoulders and looks at you, “Why would I? Is it true? Am I really Bruce’s favorite?” His grip on the wheels suddenly tightens and he looks like he’s ready to speed into the distance, “Jason is going to be so mad!” You shake your head and wonder how many hours you have to wait before you’re bombarded with group messages about this.

     “Oh hey, Y/N,” Dick pulls over outside your apartment building. “Guess who’s Alfred’s favorite?”

     Your attention is definitely piqued, “Who?”

     “I said guess.”

     “It’s not you, is it?” you narrow your eyes, suddenly feeling like this is just a narcissistic trap Dick has set up.

     He chuckles, “It used to be. But have you noticed how you get called to the manor even when he’s there?”

     You roll your eyes, “Have you met you? You guys are a serious handful!”

     Dick shakes his head, “No no. Listen. Alfred can handle us. He can handle us better than Bruce, let me tell you--” Dick pauses a little, “Alfred actually saw you at the office. You were scolding Lucius and when Bruce came to check on him as a backup, you scolded him, too.” Dick laughs.

     “Wait. What? What’s this? I don’t remember that. Come on, Dick. Stop laughing and tell the story properly!”

     “I don’t know,” he’s still laughing, “I forgot what it was about but Alfred was just impressed by how immune you were to their charms and how scared you made Bruce in a matter of seconds. Not an easy feat and you know that.”

     You narrow your eyes at Dick, “You’re the worst storyteller.” You unclasp your seatbelt and step out of the car. After walking around, you knock on the driver’s window and wait until he rolls down the window. “Thanks for the ride by the way.” 

     He salutes you. “Want me to pick you up in two days?”

     “No, I’m okay.”

     “Okay. I’ll pick you up.”

     Dick drives off before you can add another word. You glare at his sports car before you walk up to your building door. Before you even get the chance to slip your keys in, your phone vibrates in your pocket. “That little-”

✧ “He stained my shirt, Y/N. I’m only doing my civil duty by delivering justice.”

✧ “Water. I spilled water on you!”

✧ “I agree with Todd. The Replacement’s stupid cuff links undid a seam on my blazer. Let’s burn Drake’s pants.”

✧It’s always those three you have the most trouble with.

✧ “Guys, stop giving Y/N such a hard time. This is just her third Gala.”

✧ “Richard, is that lipstick on your collar?”

✧ “Oh. I guess it is.”

✧ “How is that even possible? We just left the house!”

✧It’s always those four.

✧And Cassandra never goes with you. Not after the first time when she broke a man’s arm for bumping into you.

✧ “I’m so sorry, Mr. Wayne. I think we’ll be late again.”

✧ “That’s alright, Y/N. I’m just finishing up this report and then I’ll catch up with you.”

✧ “Mr. Wayne, please don’t tell me you’re still at the manor.”

✧ “I’m in the cave.”

✧You always end up taking 2-3 trips back to the manor before you finally manage to get the Wayne family to the Gala.

✧Whenever you arrive, you’re always amazed at how different everyone acts.

✧Dick is always the center of attention among the younger women.

✧Jason keeps the bar alive.

✧Tim speaks with the philanthropists of Gotham.

✧While Damian converses with the older gentlemen.

✧The reporters and journalists are always handled by Bruce.

✧It’s different from all the fighting and snooping that they do at the manor. Their behaviors are much calmer.

✧ “Oh my god, that boy just broke the vase for the auction!”

✧ “Y/N! Jason just drank a whole bottle of absinthe!”

✧ “I think Bruce Wayne just punched that reporter.”

✧ “Richard, stop kissing that man’s wife and help me pick up the broken vase.”

✧You suddenly take it back.

✧ “—and then your brother—“

✧ “Which brother?”

✧ “Does it matter?”

✧ Everyone is reluctant to trust you at first but they notice how much of a nervous wreck you are when it comes it to their night job.

✧ Dick was the first one who notices you're shaking hands while you dab antiseptic on his chest.

✧ "Don't worry. It's just a scratch."

✧ "... It's a stab wound."

✧ "Same thing."

✧ Jason finds amusement in testing how squeamish you are.

✧ "Wanna know how I got this wound?"

✧ "Jason, please―"

✧ "This thug sliced me with broken glass, and oh boy, there was blood everywhere."

✧ And you get the feeling it wasn't his blood he's talking about.

✧ Tim tries to sympathize with you the most.

✧ "Jason, stop scaring her."

✧ But he's actually the most suspicious of you and how you got this job.

✧ "But, Dick, why do they keep their diary locked?"

✧ "Geez. I don't know, Tim. Don't you lock your diaries?"

✧ "They're not diaries. They're journals."

✧ You're surprised Cassandra trusts you the most and lets you into her room to vent.

✧ "―and then Jason stabs Tim with a fork―a freaking fork! Has it always been like this here?"

✧ "Yes."

✧ Damian doesn't let you treat his wounds but he likes your cooking.

✧ "They're not on par with Pennyworth's but they're edible."

✧ "Th-thank you?"

✧ You check up on Bruce last because he wants to be sure his kids are taken care of first.

✧ "Mr. Wayne, when you said 'cook and clean', I didn't think I'd be cleaning deadly wounds or cooking for Gotham's vigilantes."

✧ "I'll put in a good word as your reference."

✧ "I don't even know what my job title is, Mr. Wayne."