#wayne quotes

Wayne: I’m gonna smell the soaps.

A Starter Prompt List

Quotes from Mistborn Era 2, mostly Wayne but some in direct response to him. Change things where needed. Some quotes altered to fit prompt.

"If you were going to become a different person, couldn't you have chosen one without such an ugly face?"

"Why is it called 'research' if I've only done it the one time?"

"This place is going to errupt like an ammunition store in a volcano."

"I didn't bring /a/ gun. You know me better than that, _____. I never go anywhere with only one."

"Perfect as preserves."

"Don't use your fancy words around me, son."

"Greet every morning with a smile. That way it won’t know what you’re planning to do to it"

"Until you know it ain't true, treat every woman like she's got an older brother what is stronger than you are"

"Proper loafing requires company.One man lying about is being idle; two men lying about is a lunch break."

"I ain’t drunk. I’m investigatin’ alternative states of sobriety."

"I've always found it odd that so many died when they were old, as logic said that was the point in their lives when they’d had the most practice not dying."

"It's strange. Most days I don't mind being me. Today I do."

"Looks like we're gonna have to find a new prime suspect, _____. This one outright refuses to not be dead already."

"_____! You're a TERRIBLE grave robber!"

"Our accents are clothing for our thoughts, my dear."

"But those don’t matter, onnacount of my getting hit to the head enough times that I can’t remember"

"What I need to do is get the whole city drunk."

"Now, I'm just as for dismemberment as the next fellow, but that's a mite violent for this time of day"

"You gotta hide a gift where no one'll look for it"

"You could tell a lot about people from the way they talked."

"I'm generally only suicidal in the mornings"

"Anytime I find a corpse and it ain’t my fault they’re dead, I feel a little relieved"

"Hun, that joke started dead. I'm just giving it a proper burial."

"To be fair, our fighting style is more the shooty-shooty, whacky-whacky type"

"They'll welcome us with a friendly handshake and a bit of murder in their eyes"

"He and pain were old friends what shared a handshake and a beer every now and again"

"I'm all for charging in recklessly and whatnot, but don't you think we should think this through before we get all 'let's shoot this place up'?"

Wayne: Conan.

Del: O’Brien?

Wayne: No.

Nurse: So that wasn’t you?

Wayne: I needed to get money.

Orlando: For what?