waterwindow replied to your text post:
that's really scary
Extremely so :( Â I don't know who to trust anymore, and it's strongly affected my enjoyment of the fandom. Â Which is to say I haven't enjoyed myself much for a long time now. Â It's also the reason I never go to your livestreams anymore, because I don't know who might be there and what their agenda might be.
meinarch replied to your text post:
That's horrible. Why would they even do that to you?
Bullies often have a sixth sense for people who are shy and vulnerable (and just overall weak, I suppose), and I'm sure that's a big part of why this person targetted me.  The other part is that this person just doesn't like me for whatever reason, and has come up with all sorts of justifications for why I deserve abuse.  They keep bringing up that I "support" an unnamed person who is probably Cas even though she and I are just casual friends. But Cas is far more strong-willed than I am and has a low tolerance for bullshit, so I'm pretty sure that's why this person goes after me and not her. (If you're reading this, Cas, I don't blame you at all for the abuse.  That's completely on the bully.)
They're also really mad that I blocked them in December 2017, which I did because they were publicly sneering about me and encouraging others to join in their hate campaign and that gave me terrible anxiety. Â They like to claim, however, that I blocked them because they and their friend were critiquing me. Â That is absolutely not true. Â Anyway, now they can't reblog stuff from me and that really pisses them off.
I've been bullied a lot throughout my life because I'm shy and autistic and socially awkward. Â There was no Asperger's diagnosis when I was a child, so everyone just treated me like a freak and that only increased my shyness and social anxiety. Â For this reason, abusive and bullying behaviour gives me a ton of anxiety, and that's the reason I've blocked them. Â A year and a half of this behaviour and stalking has really awakened a lot of past trauma, so this is really triggering the hell out of me. Â But for some reason this person considers it unacceptable for me to block the source of that trauma, and it's just increased the abuse. Â
The reason I'm talking frankly about this now is because I've pretty much reached my breaking point. Â This person isn't going to stop and I'm tired of feeling anxious and depressed all the time. Â
ianxfalcon replied to your text post:
That is so weird and scary. I can't even imagine. Why won't they stop?
I wish I knew, because I honestly donât understand. I think they just enjoy bullying people and Iâm a convenient target.
tricksterrune replied to your text post:
I'm so sorry this happens to you. There is no logic or empathy behind this person so you literally can't understand these actions. Report, block and block more
Thank you, and agreed that this person has little to no empathy, as they've said a couple of times that they find this "fun". Â It's very unsettling, and Tumblr did nothing.
