#warengrey

Omg like, ahhh!!! It’s like they’re having a first kiss without actually having a first kiss. And “Laurent knew exactly what he was doing” and it’s like?? Dude, this man knows Damen is attracted to him, at least one some level - and Laurent probably thinks it’s a shallow level devoid of any feelings or any long lasting attraction - and can I just say like...he isn’t scared of Damen’s attraction to him, whatever that attraction might be. 

Laurent at least knows Damen has probably - or will probably - fantasize about them in some sexual capacity, and he’s using that to his advantage here, or using it to...make Damen uncomfortable? That’s my best bet.

Probably for, I guess, ‘putting’ Laurent in the position of ‘pet’ in that Damen is feeding food to him, not the other way around. Outwardly, Laurent is in a position of submission, and Laurent probably hates that very much, and is trying to punish Damen in the most manipulative, hands off way he can think of. (Thus putting him in the truly dominant position, which is probably where Laurent, after all he’s been through, is most comfortable)

He reminded himself forcefully of who this was. Laurent, his captor. He made himself recall the fall of each lash on his back, but thanks to some misfiring of the brain, found himself instead in the memory of Laurent’s wet skin in the baths, the way his limbs fitted together like a hilt fitted to the blade of a balanced sword. (p. 81).

And like, omg?? Like, Damen is having to remind himself of who he’s with and what he’s done to him and how much he hates him - but it still doesn’t work?? Like Laurent has got crazy powers of seduction where Damen is concerned (whether he uses them intentionally or not), I mean, we all know how Damen is like later when it comes to his attraction to Laurent ;) and this is the beginning of just how struck dumb Damen can be by Laurent. 

And like, really? See? Damen is pulled into a memory, which is kind of a fantasy right now too, of a naked Laurent, and Damen is describing how perfect Laurent’s limbs fit together, I mean, come on!

Damen is officially on the Laurent train, I mean, just a few stops more before he’s in Laurentville where Damen will put his heart, I mean??

metaphor aside, u guys know what I mean. Damen is crushing - at least, he’s very very attracted lol. 

Laurent finished the morsel, then rested a hand on Damen’s thigh, and slowly slid it upward.

‘Control yourself,’ said Laurent.

 And shifted in, until, facing one another on the straddled bench, they were almost chest to chest. Laurent’s hair tickled against Damen’s cheek as he brought his lips to Damen’s ear. (p. 81)

Uh no, Laurent, control yourself, I mean??? I know I keep saying “I mean??” but honestly??? Like?? Is it necessary to touch Damen like that, Laurent?

I was just talking of Damen’s massive attraction for Laurent, which is easy to see as it’s from his POV, but this is saying a lot about Laurent’s attraction for Damen, too. 

I mean, I know he’s getting back at Damen or punishing him in some way, which is very Laurent-esque, but there is also a part to this that is just Laurent being attracted to Damen. 

Would Laurent have touched anyone - whether he was getting back at them for whatever it was or not - like this except Damen? This shows how comfortable he is with Damen, even if he ‘hates’ him, or at this point I think he’s trying to still hate Damen, but it’s hard to do at this point (Damen’s in the same boat, Laurent). 

Remember when Laurent was trying to get Torveld to take Erasmus and the other slaves of the Regent’s? Torveld was all flirty with Laurent almost the whole night, and Laurent never put Torveld off, obviously trying to manipulate him into getting what Laurent wanted, but he never touched Torveld, not once, or let Torveld touch him, if I recall (Let him get real close to him, I think, but not actually touch him, right?) 

While Laurent has used his looks in the past, for whatever reason, he hasn’t allowed touch, by himself or the other person, but here he is ALL up in Damen’s business and basically caressing his thigh and sliding it upward toward’s his dick, I mean honestly???

And Laurent is so close that his hair is brushing Damen’s cheek? Whispering into his ear?

Laurent, r u serious right now??

Like, in Laurent’s mind he’s probably telling himself this is nothing and it’s all just to get to Damen and all that and he’s feeling absolutely no attraction, but his body is probably loving this and Laurent is probably internally cursing at his attraction to Damen.

This passage has just got me all kinds of giddy omigosh!

The next murmur slid softly into Damen’s ear, so that he felt the shape of each word, made of lips and breath. 

‘And so, take me upstairs,’ said Laurent. ‘Don’t you think we’ve waited long enough?’ 

It was Laurent who led the way, trailing up the stairs, with Damen following. He was aware of each step, and he found his pulse beating fast beneath his skin. (pp. 81-82)

I am freaking out guys (sorry it’s been a long time since I read this it’s like reading it anew I’m giddy) like...Laurent you know how suggestive that sounds, you know what you’re doing but boY! COME ON! You are are trying too hard because you likkeee Damen - or at least, you’re starting to, just a lil’ bit, maybe, Laurent don’t lie - and Damen???

Boy is like fuhreaking out more than me, like he’s so attracted to Laurent and he’s imagining some sexy times right now, let’s not lie and pretend otherwise, and Damen just wants to jump this man - but a part of him is still probably warring within himself like “NOPE. You cannot want to bone this dude nope nope noppeee not happening” even as Damen’s blood is singing and he’s alive with this shit, but nope. 

Not yet, my friends. Not yet. 

These boys aren’t even in love yet and they give me so many feels gahdamn!

And there was a man of about thirty with a dark, closely trimmed beard sitting on the bed, who propelled himself off it and onto one knee when he saw Laurent.

Damen sat down rather heavily on the chair by the door. (p. 82). 

Damen is so disappointed I can’t even, I’m laughing as I write this. Like, a large part of him knew nothing would happen, obviously, and another large part probably still doesn’t want anything to happen, but the part that is largely attracted to Laurent just drooped its ears like a dog lol. 

Damen wanted some sexy times with Laurent here, it is so obvious it’s not even funny. 

But also it totally is because Damen just kinda drops down into a chair, deflating (probably ALL of him too, if you know what I mean ;)) 

I’m just so giddy, can you guys tell???

‘Here,’ said Damen, and passed him the plate. 

‘Thank you,’ said Laurent, looking at the plate with a blink. (p. 84).

Laurent thanked him, kids. It’s a small thing, giving him food and Laurent thanking him, but it’s actually pretty big, to me. I don’t think Laurent would have thanked him for something like that not too long ago. 

He chose to clothe himself once again in pants rather than towels. He told himself that this was no different from two dozen nights together inside of a warfield tent. (p. 84)

Dudee, Damen is still feeling a little somethin’ somethin’, I mean he’s having to remind himself to cool it, basically, to take a chill pill, this is not different than before just because they’re in an actually room with no one else around, righhhtt??? ;)

‘Perhaps I . . . I knew she was ruled by her mind, not her heart. I knew she was ambitious, and, yes, at times ruthless. I admit there was something . . . attractive about it. But I never guessed that she would betray me for Kastor. That I learned too late.’ 

‘Auguste was like you,’ said Laurent. ‘He had no instinct for deception; it meant he couldn’t recognise it in other people.’ (pp. 86-87)

This is so important to me because they are basically talking about the other being very similar (Damen is practically describing Laurent with how he describes Jokaste) to someone they loved (romantically or not, doesn’t matter) and that is so telling.

The big differences, of course, being that Laurent never betrays Damen once they’re in love with each other, and obviously, Auguste was Laurent’s brother, not someone he was in love with as he later becomes with Damen. 

But Laurent loved Auguste so much, so deeply, that it is a pretty high compliment Laurent is giving Damen. 

And on Damen’s end, it’s almost the opposite, in the way. Yes, Damen loved Jokaste, but he doesn’t anymore (at least, not in that way, especially after what she did to him. Obviously Damen is too good, I think, to ever have truly hated Jokaste. I think, at most he was very angry at her and very hurt. By the time he’s in love with Laurent, I think he’s completely over Jokaste in that way, but I think he still holds her in a certain regard, has a certain respect for her and affection, so) and since his love for Jokaste was romantic, it’s like he’s getting over her/is over her and is making room in his heart for Laurent. (Not that he’s there with feelings for Laurent yet, but ya know what I mean).

Anyway, they both had this admiration for these people they loved, and certain qualities they possessed and seeing those qualities in each other, I think, is endearing them to each other. 

Obviously slowly, and they’re not at that point yet here, but we’re getting to it, and this conversation, I think, shows why they start to fall for each other, and eventually do.

‘I wondered,’ Damen said, carefully, ‘if you reserved your love for women.’ 

‘No, I—’ Laurent sounded surprised. Then he seemed to realise that his surprise gave something fundamental away, and he looked away with a muttered breath; when he looked back at Damen there was a wry smile on his lips, but he said, steadily, ‘No.’ 

‘Have I said something to offend you? I didn’t mean—’

 ‘No. A plausible, benign and uncomplicated theory. Trust you to come up with it.’ (pp. 87-88)

Okay, first of all, the fact that Laurent has let his guard down enough around Damen that any surprise would show at all is crazy enough, and Laurent cursing because he let something like emotion show, in front of Damen, too, of all people. 

And then Damen worrying if he had offended Laurent??? When would Damen have cared if he had before? Honestly, i am SO DONE with these boys, I just cannot.

‘If I were Jokaste and a king maker, I’d have chosen Kastor over you too.’ 

‘I suppose you are going to enjoy telling me why,’ said Damen. He felt his hands curl into fists, heard the bitterness in his throat. 

‘Because a king maker would always choose the weaker man. The weaker the man, the easier he is to control.’ 

Damen felt the shock of surprise, and looked at Laurent only to find Laurent gazing back at him without rancour. The moment stretched out. It wasn’t . . . it wasn’t what he had expected Laurent to say. As he gazed at Laurent, the words moved through him in unexpected ways, and he felt them touch something jagged-edged within him, felt them shift it a first, tiny fraction, something lodged hard and deep, that he had thought immovable. (pp. 88-89).

This passage makes me so fucking happy, peeps I am nott okay LIKE!!!

And like, knowing what happens in the third book? That conversation between Laurent and Jokaste and Jokaste is all “so the only different between us is the brother we chose” or something close to that and Laurent is all “I would have chosen him too if I was her” and Laurent does the exact opposite of what he says he would do? He chooses Damen, quite happily, and yes, that’s the big different between Jokaste and Laurent, to me. Once Laurent was in love with Damen, he was all he would ever want, he’s all in. I CANNOT WITH THESE EMOTIONS!

AND THEN! AND THEN, MY FRIENDS!

LAURENT SAYS DAMEN IS STRONG, BASICALLY! AND WHEN DAMEN LOOKS AT HIM HE’S NOT TEASING OR BEING SARCASTIC OR SAYING IT WITH ANY HATEFUL EMOTION TOWARD DAMEN. 

AND THen, okay, what have I been saying throughout basically all these “moment” posts? That there’s been a shift, that it was small, barely noticeable, but there. And I said that it was happening at several points, that these moments signified a shift in Damen and Laurent’s relationship - even if it was small, barely there, barley noticeable for them, but it was there. 

Well, WHOO BOY OMG! We just got, in some way, what I’ve said, RIGHT HERE IN THIS PASSAGE AHH! (and I want to clarify that I hadn’t reread The Captive Prince series once since I started doing these. So basically I’m reading these books a second time, and it’s been almost a year since I read the second book, and I wrote all that stuff about a shift without having read this passage recently. All I remembered was the “but I’m getting to know you” line, which is only because I’ve seen in it other posts a lot) so like, I’m giving myself a pat on the back for that.

Because it says here, in the goddamn book, that Damen feels a shift. I AM SO GIDDY I AM!!!! I probably seem crazy right now but eeep!! This is like...okay, all those moments before were things shifting between them, but not exactly in a romantic sense yet, and it was probably barely noticeable for Damen and Laurent themselves, if at all.

Like, it was just subtle shifts that inch by inch, day by day, they start to hate each other just a little bit less, you know?

BUT HERE! Okay, my friends! Damen is fully aware that a shift just happened inside him, and his feelings towards Laurent. Like, the shift was so massive that Damen is fully aware of it, even if he can’t quite name it yet.

Laurent just gave Damen more than a compliment - he said a positive thing about his character, about who Damen is, and he wasn’t mocking Damen. His gaze isn’t biting or hateful or mean, and while his facial expression is probably controlled and neutral, his gaze is probably soft and meaningful. He means what he’s saying to Damen, and Damen probably sees that, and the fact that Laurent MEANS it and isn’t just fucking with Damen, is what shifts something inside Damen. 

And then that last part! About how something shifted inside him that he never thought would shift and that he thought immovable. 

So fuck, okay, earlier I was talking about how attracted to Laurent Damen was, but a large part still didn’t want to actually act on anything and probably still didn’t like Laurent, WELL! HERE WE GO!

Damen was probably fine having an attraction to Laurent he couldn’t help, and was fine with nothing happening because he still, of course, didn’t like Laurent (didn’t hate him, at this point, but still wasn’t too warm and fuzzy towards him) but now his FEELINGS have shifted, have moved towards something more positive than negative.

Damen always thought he would hate Laurent, no matter what (even as he was attracted to him) but NOW, with this conversation, whoo boy was Damen wrong. He hated Laurent so much (rightfully so) and it was so much so that he couldn’t imagine ever feeling anything but hate for Laurent, but now he...isn’t. 

He obviously doesn’t know what he feels for Laurent yet, but now he feels something different than hate, something above hate, something better than hate, and it will take him a bit to realize he’s gaining feelings for Laurent, strong feelings. Romantic feelings. 

For now the shift is just...he’s basically moved away from truly hating Laurent, is what i’m trying to say, and moving into like. He’s starting to like Laurent. And it’s not love yet, but it’s not hate. And Damen realizes that he doesn’t hate Laurent when he thought he always would.

And that’s what this moment is so crazy important and so significant.

He said: ‘What makes you think Kastor is the weaker man? You don’t know him.’

 ‘But I’m coming to know you,’ said Laurent. (p. 89).

And now for Laurent’s side of things!!!

LAURENT, OH MAN, U GUYS DIDN’T THINK I’D FORGET ABOUT HIM, DID YOU??

The fact that Laurent says that Damen is strong in the first place and means it??? That is HUGE!! I mean, he already compared Damen (who he KNOWS is Damianos) to Auguste, who he loved, but now he says this? And is completely serious about it? 

AND THEN: “But I’m coming to know you”

BITCH PLS! 

I mean, we don’t get Laurent’s POV, so we don’t know exactly when things start to shift for him, when the subtle, barely noticeable changes in his opinion towards Damen started either, but we’ve got enough to know that something is shifting within Laurent too.

Whether he realizes it yet, I don’t know. The fact that Laurent said all this, though? Makes me think he kind of does. 

Maybe even allowing Damen to come on this mini-mission was enough for Laurent to realize a shift was happening. Again, he probably doesn’t realize it’s romantic either yet, that he has feelings, but he probably doesn’t hate Damen at this point, and I’m saying he probably realizes it, probably knew already - although, probably not that much longer before Damen has. 

But Laurent is the more observant one, in most respects, (although of course Damen is crazy observant in other aspects, at least when it comes to Laurent) so I feel like he’s probably already realized he doesn’t hate Damen (he probably hates that he doesn’t hate him, but still). I mean, the fact that he said that to Damen about Auguste, and then this, makes it seem like he is aware of the shift in things between them. 

And he’s coming to know Damen, guys! And that is making him see who Damen really is and he doesn’t hate who Damen really is and as annoyed as he is that he’s started to like Damen, he can’t hep it. 

Fucking goddamn my feelsss!!!

And okay, that’s as good a place as any to stop this part before it gets too crazy long! 

But omg the last two books will probably have a lot more parts than the first book because of how they fall in love in this book, so there are even more moments in these books than in the first.

I think I only got through about 28 pages for this part, while in the first part I got through 60 pages. They’re getting more and more moments to talk about and that makes me so happy!