#wanderwaffles

First of all, I'm not usually able to talk about my personal life on the internet. I've always been a private person. So this was a bit hard for me to do. Please understand that. Anyway, I'll get straight to the point.

I got covid around mid January. Not a surprise since my line of work involves being up close with other people. My work place had a strict policy where we'd refuse clients unless they can prove they've had their shots. Well somehow something slipped through and well... yeah. I ended up in hospital, but felt optimistic that I'd be okay as my symptoms where not as bad as most cases. However, the doctors there wanted to run some tests. What they found is the main reason I've been gone for so long. Cancer. Specifically, ovarian.

Won't go into a lot of detail, but in terms of treatment, I skipped chemo and just had a hysterectomy. Never wanted kids anyway. Unfortunately my then partner didn't like this. Despite insisting they were childfree throughout our relationship, my decision didn't sit well with them. I guess they suddenly realized that they wanted to be a parent after all? I have no clue. They wouldn't explain a thing before breaking up with me. Not saying there is anything wrong with them changing their mind. I just wish they weren't so curt with me before leaving. Not long after that, I was let go from my job. I know some of you would be outraged by that, but I can't blame them. Rumor has it that the place might get shut down anyways.

So needless to say, I was severely depressed. It hindered my physical recovery quite a bit. I had convinced myself that everyone I knew didn't really like me. Family, friends (irl and online), locals I grew up around. I started to dip out of online groups and closed a few accounts. Figured nobody would notice and I was right for the most part. I was pretty close to deleting this blog too, but an online friend messaged me while I was contemplating. Ended up talking me out of it and gave me hope. Honestly can't thank them enough. They told me that I was always welcome in their friend group, but I don't think I can do that right now. I barely go online much due to the current state of my health.

I think that just about covers everything. I know I might have been vague on the details. That is my choice, please understand. I have no idea what the future holds. I can only hope to rebuild what I've lost. I'm sorry if anything I've said here was too upsetting.