#wanda langkowski

There’s a giant brown hole in the side of Mac’s skull, it’s deep enough that she can still see the shattered edges of bone peaking out of it.

Like a flower peeping out of the cracks of a sidewalk.

The right side of his face is bruised purple. His right eye was swollen shut—not that he needed anymore. Nose cracked to the left, dried snot seeping out of his nostrils. Blood splatters across his face staining it poppy red.

His left eye is open, staring at Wanda as lifeless as a doll.

Even with Michael’s magic, there’s no fixing this.

“I didn’t know where else to go.”

Wanda glances up from the trunk.

Heather is crying.

She’s trying to hide it, but the redness of her freckled cheeks, the dryness of her green eyes, and the fogginess of her glasses make that impossible.

Not that anyone could blame her, she’s probably been holding these feelings since she left…God Heather made the drive all the way from Ottawa. She’s been choking back tears for miles.

Wanda turns away from her and looks back down at Mac.

There’s a million questions she wants to ask.

“What happened?”

“Are you okay?”

“Did anyone see you leave?”

And of course:

“Why didn’t you do this sooner?”

Wanda doesn’t ask that though, instead she places her hand on Heather’s shoulder.

“We’ll take care of it.” She promises.

She hasn’t seen Heather since she left Alpha Flight. Since she headed back home and bought a house in the Vancouver suburbs.

Since their breakup.

“Mac’s my husband.” She said. “You understand, right?”

“No.” Wanda told her. “No, I don’t.”

“I made a vow to love him forever.” Heather stated.

“Until death do you part.” Wanda said. “Death happened; you parted. You fell in love with me.”

“I will always cherish the time we had together!” Heather told her. “But you have to understand...he’s my husband…my first love…I can’t just…I can’t just abandon him.”

“But you can abandon me?” Wanda asked.

“I’m saying goodbye.” Heather said. “I’m giving you a reason. Abandoning you would be me jumping into Mac’s arms and leaving the Flight without a second thought.”

“Isn’t that what you’re doing though!” Wanda cried. “Mac comes back to life, and you just drop everything to take care of him.”

“I’m his wife, I’m supposed to care for him!” Heather shouted.

“You’re not his wife, you’re my girlfriend!” Wanda tried to force the tears back into her eyes. “You’re the love of my life.”

She reaches her hand out to Heather, hoping the other woman would clasp it in her hand.

Heather turns away from it.

“Babe?” She whispers.

“I may be the love of your life.” Heather declared. “But Mac’s the love of mine.”

Wanda’s tears dried up as she let out a huff, she crossed her arms as she jerked her body away from Heather.

“Ain’t that the truth.” Wanda muttered.

So it was.

Heather left the Flight and went back to Mac.

Unable and unwilling to stay on a team without Heather, much less one run by the man she left her for, Wanda quit the Flight as well. Spending the past five years burying herself in research. Taking home a new girl each and every night, pretending that they weren’t Heather.

A sharp wail pulls Wanda out of her thoughts.

“I shouldn’t have involved you.” Heather’s voice warbles. “Department H is hot on my trail…the police are on the lookout for me…what’s left of the Flight is probably on their way to arrest me as we speak…”

Wanda pauses.

Heather…her Heather…was always calm, cool, and collected. Even before Mac’s death she wasn’t going to take shit from no one.

The woman buried in her sweater wasn’t Wanda’s Heather.

Rather a shell of a woman she used to be.

Destroyed by the bastard rotting away in the back of her Subaru.

 Heather sighs burying her face in her sweater. “I’m so sorry, Wanda.”

Wanda isn’t sure if she’s sorry about the breakup or showing up at her front porch in the middle of the night with a dead body in her trunk.

It doesn’t matter.

They have a new problem to deal with.

“Get in my truck.” Wanda says.

She darts back inside the house quickly, grabbing a jacket off the standby her door and shoving on a pair of boots.

She reaches into her jacket and tosses Heather a pair of keys and points to the truck sitting in the driveway.

“Start the car and get in the passenger’s seat.” Wanda tells her. “I’ll be right there.”

Heather nods and rushes over to Wanda’s black pickup.

Wanda heads over to the Subaru, ignoring the mud that clings to her furry ankles as she shifts into a hairy, white, ten-foot, dark eyed, monster.

She lifts Mac out of the trunk. Careful to angle him away from the prying eyes of the neighbors across the street. They had gotten used to having her for a neighbor, Wanda regularly relying on her powers to haul heavy packages from the mailbox to her doorstep. However, the sight of her cradling the corpse of one of Canada’s most beloved superheroes would give them cause to call the police.

Or worse Alpha Flight.

Wanda quickly rushes Mac to her truck; she drops his body and his slams into her trunk with a thud.

CREEK!

His neck cracks, causing his head to fall onto his chest.

Whatever, that just makes him easier to hide.

Wanda crushes Mac into a fetal position.

Breaking as many bones as she has to in order to curl him to a small enough shape to slide the cover over him.

Satisfied with her work she shifts into Wanda. Cold kisses her body as she looks down and realizes she’s just in her underwear.

Wanda bemoans not changing into something as she opens the back of the truck to see if she still had her change of clothes from her trip to the beach last weekend.

“What are you…” Heather’s cheeks heat up and she glances out the window as she see’s the state Wanda’s in.

“Relax…” Wanda says. “It’s not like you haven’t seen this before.”

‘Alright, that was a little mean.’ Wanda thinks as she grabs a pair of paint-stained jeans from the bottom of the floor and tosses a Simon Fraiser University sweater over her head.

She makes it to the front of the car, forcing her jeans over her hips and fastening the button as she slides into the front seat. The heat kissing her face as she slams the door shut.

“Thank you.” Heather says.

As Wanda begins to pull out of the driveway.

“Don’t thank me yet.” Wanda says. “We still have to get you out of this mess.”

“Still…” Heather has stopped crying, although her cheeks were still wet.  “If I showed up at anyone else’s house, they wouldn’t have leant me their car. Much less driven with me to dispose of a corpse.”

“Anything for you.” Wanda mutters.

Looking at the outside of the warehouse, she was filled with determination. Other people might be good at academia or athletic feats. Other people might be beautiful or charismatic. But everyone has something. Something they’re good at. And Heather was good at Costco. 

Most people would think it’s a bit reductive. A woman claiming her greatest talent was grocery shopping. It was the set up for a dumb joke. A trope. A stereotype. A housewife who prided herself in the ability to push a cart around. 

But she wasn’t a housewife anymore, thank god for that. And this wasn’t a grocery store. Calling it a simple grocery store would be an insult. Costco wasn’t any lousy super market. No, wholesale retail was a whole different ballgame. That giant building was no place to take a little stroll around the aisles. It was no place to walk around and see what she’d want to eat for the next two weeks. 

To survive, she needed to have a plan. She needed to have a list. She needed to have it mapped out. She needed to know exactly what she needed, exactly where that was, and the exact route she needed to take for maximum efficiency. In and out in less than 30 minutes. That was the goal and she had achieved it plenty of times before. But this was a bigger haul than those times. And she had a big setback this time. 

“We still have two places to stop after this, so we have to hurry,” Heather explained as she started to make her way towards the warehouse. 

“It’s only 1, honey,” Wanda tried to keep up with her accelerated pace. “We have all the time in the world.” 

“Sure, it’s only 1 right now,” she rolled her eyes, “but then we have to drive across town to go to the hardware store and after that we have to pick up dinner, not to even mention that we have to make sure that everything’s ready for tomorrow so we can leave first thing in the morning and by that point–” 

“We’re gonna be fine,” she insisted with a pat on her back. “I think you’re taking this a bit too seriously.” 

“Well, it’s a bit serious, Wanda,” Heather argued as she pulled a cart out of the line. “We’re leaving tomorrow and we had to wait until now to get all the food for basically the entire trip. We don’t have any other chance to do this so we need to get it done.” 

“Are we not getting any food during the trip?” She laughed. Heather ignored her mocking question and pulled that card out of her wallet. This was exactly why she didn’t like to go here with other people. No matter who she walked in with, all they did was get in the way. Was she taking it too seriously? No. It was just that no one else took it seriously enough. 

A month-long road trip ahead of her. Four people to feed and one opportunity to stock the RV. Food for three meals a day and plenty of snacks in between them. A lot of food needed to be purchased. A lot of food would need to fit into that limited space in the RV. This was a job fit for no one else but her. This was important. 

She scanned the card at the entrance and quickly walked into the warehouse. Right past the TVs and appliances. They had no need for those right now. She had her eyes on things that were deeper inside the building. 

“Oh, look at that,” Wanda commented, looking at some sort of countertop appliance. Three hundred dollars for something that they didn’t need. 

“We aren’t here to look around,” there was nothing Heather couldn’t stand more than parousing. This was no place to just look around. This was no place to just waste time. She wasn’t about to be that person just blocking the aisle. 

“Okay,” she threw her hands up and walked back over to the cart. “Where to first?” 

“Produce and bakery,” she stated as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Well, it was. It was the logical route. Walk in, walk to the back and start going down the list. The list was written to the route of course. Everything was in order. Everything was where she needed it to be. 

She looked down at that list written down on the notepad. The list of everything she needed to get to make this whole trip went as smoothly as possible. Simple. Straightforward. There was no room for confusion. No room for mistakes. She could grab all of them and move on to the next section. A quick look over of the bag. Pink Ladies were the crowd pleaser. Even if Braeburns were her favorite, she was less picky about her apples than Claire was. 

At least there weren't any strong opinions about small citrus. Cuties will go over well with everybody. Nice small snacks. Something they could keep in the car so no one had an excuse to bitch about being hungry while they were driving. 

The muffins and bagels would be useful when it came to mornings. Something quick for when no one wanted to bother about breakfast. Getting some more options so no one would have to feel left out. Wanda liked the parmesan but Heather always thought they tasted like barf so she also grabbed the everything variety. Muffins were easier. Everyone liked muffins. It was a simple section. In and out without a hiccup. She would be saving time if she was here alone. 

“Wanda, what are you doing?” Heather sighed as her girlfriend put two purple bottles into the cart. 

“What? Can I not get anything?” She asked with a smirk on her face. 

“We already got ciders and those canned cocktails, we don’t need prosecco,” she argued. It was like she was trying to piss her off. 

“I know we do, but consider the fact we could be having morning mimosas,” she pleaded her case with a kiss on the cheek. 

“Whatever,” she couldn’t lie, Wanda made a convincing argument. But if she ever admitted that, who knows what type of bullshit would end up in the cart? They were only working with a tight space after all. “Can you go grab some strawberries and grapes?” 

“Of course, what type of grapes?” She asked as she turned to the cooled section. 

“Cotton candy, and make sure that they’re still good,” she would be doing it herself but she avoided that section whenever she could. The upside of having someone with her is that she didn’t have to be subjected to those cold fans. 

Of course, chances were that she’d just grab the ones on top. That’s what Mac always did after all. He’d put them in the cart and she wouldn’t even notice the moldy berry on the bottom until they were already up at the register. And no matter how much she didn’t want to step into that human cooler, she’d end up having to do it anyway.

“Did you check them?” Heather asked as Wanda walked out with the two containers. 

“Of course I did, I’m not a dumbass,” she laughed while Heather lifted them up and looked at the bottom. No mold, no obvious blemishes. Good. She didn’t waste time or have to step into the chilled produce section. “What’s next?”

“Meat section,” she gestured to their left at all the displayed products. Steaks, ground beef, seafood, chicken, pork. Raw and precooked. Sausages and patties for those who weren’t butchers. Their list was just as simple. “We just need some sausage for dinner and breakfast. Claire wanted me to get some bacon too.” 

“Doesn’t she know that’s a microaggression?” She joked, grabbing a package of chicken apple sausage and tossing it in the cart. 

“If she does, then she doesn’t care,” Heather shrugged. Usually she’d spend more time in this section. But there was only so much space they had in the fridge. Only so many opportunities to cook them properly with all the time they’d be spending on the road. “I’ll make some sausage every time so you guys have something to eat too.” 

“Oh, Ed has no problem eating bacon,” she laughed, “I just never developed the taste for it.” 

“Well, I’ll still make some for you,” she rolled her eyes, grabbing two packets of the breakfast sausage. 

“Aww, and I deserve it?” Wanda asked as Heather checked the list again. 

“Depends on how many more shenanigans you try to pull today.” She warned. Onto the drinks. Or at least the ones that were bottled and canned. 

“Shenanigans?” She gasped. “How dare you accuse me of such things?” 

“This is serious, Wanda,” Heather continued to push the cart to the back of the warehouse. “We’re leaving tomorrow, we need to get everything done today. If we miss something–” 

“We’ll get it during the trip,” she reassured her. “This is supposed to be a vacation, you know.” 

“But someone has to make sure the vacation goes smoothly,” she explained. “I can’t relax if we’re not set up for success.” 

“We are set up for success, honey,” Wanda grabbed a pack of the bottled water and heaved it into the cart. “We got the car all set, the RV is ready, the kids are hyped, all the campsites are booked. It’s not going to be a horrible vacation just because you don’t complete the most efficient run in the history of Costco.” 

“I know that it won’t be horrible,” Heather rolled her eyes, “this is just a point of personal pride. Did you want a specific drink?” 

“What’s on the list?” 

“Well the water obviously, diet coke, white monster,” she started to list off as they headed towards the soda cases, “and something fun without caffeine for Claire.” 

“I think I’m good with my teas,” she assured, putting the box of white monster on top of the water.

“If you say so,” she shrugged. The cart was already getting full. And heavy. Only getting heavier when Wanda put the case of diet coke on top of the drink tower they were building. “Do you think she’d like those fruit drinks over there?”

“I think she’d be willing to try anything as long as it’s pink,” she turned and looked at the box she was pointed at. Advertised as low sugar, no caffeine, and great taste. “And if not, I’m sure they’ll be drunk anyway.”

“I know, but I’d like to make sure she has something to drink as well,” she explained as Wanda placed them into the cart. 

“Worst case scenario, I’ll share my hibiscus tea,” she winked. “You’re worried about nothing.” 

“I think that I have a lot to be worried about,” she argued as she pushed the cart on. They still needed to get chips and bread and pasta. Still had a lot of ground to cover. 

“Like what, honey?” Wanda laughed. 

“I’m just trying to set everyone up for success,” she repeated her concern. “You know, it’s a month together, on the road, with a whole blended family thing going on. And she didn’t really take the whole divorce well at first, I’m just worried that this whole thing is pushing it a bit.”

“The divorce was two years ago,” she reminded her as Heather weaved between the cart traffic. Moms trying to wrangle their five kids. Old men blocking the entire hall. Someone in athleisure filming a video talking about how seed oils were killing people. “And I’ve been around for a year. If she wasn’t okay with it, she would’ve made it known far before this point. Heather, watch out, that lady’s trying to turn.” 

“Never yield in a Costco,” she shook her head as she continued on. Confident driving was the rule of this warehouse. The second she let someone get out ahead of her was the second she’d get lost in the crowd. “It’s just a long time to be away from home. I mean, she was already telling the neighbor to keep watch on her american girl dolls when he’s over to water the roses.” 

“She asked me to keep watch on them when she went to her friend’s birthday party,” Wanda reminded her. “She’ll be fine without all her toys. Besides, she’s bringing Samantha, right?” 

“Wrong, she decided that Kit would appreciate the journey more.” She grabbed the double loaf of sourdough bread. 

“You have absolutely nothing to worry about, honey,” she kissed her forehead. “She’s going to have fun. Ed’s going to have fun. And most importantly, we’re going to have fun.” 

“Yeah but before we can have fun,” she held up the list, “we still have to get the snacks.” 

“The most important part of any grocery trip,” Wanda agreed as they pushed towards the most treacherous part of any Costco. Those tight aisles that left no room for error. No room for cowardice. Only the most dominant Costco shoppers could survive. 

“Grab those protein bars you like,” Heather commanded as she pushed on. She wasn’t about to be the person who clogged up the entire aisle. This was the true test. The final challenge before the checkout line. Who could command the cart and who would get trapped between the chocolate and the spicy nuts? 

She grabbed a bag of shelled pistachios. A great road snack. Something quick she could shove into her mouth with one hand. Also some shortbread cookies because why the hell not? 

“Slow down,” Wanda called after her as she continued to plow down the aisle. 

“We can’t stop until we’re out the aisle,” she shook her head before turning out of it. Giving the taller woman just enough time to put the box in the cart. “It’s the only way to survive.” 

“Don’t you think you’re being a bit dramatic?” She asked as she put the box in the cart. 

“No, you just don’t understand Costco,” Heather started down the next aisle. She wasn’t being dramatic. She wasn’t taking this too seriously. She just understood what she needed to do. All the steps she needed to take. Because she wasn’t just good at this, she was the best at this. 

She barreled down the tight passageway. Grabbing meat sticks and snack mixes. Things that were specifically requested. Everyone will have something to eat. Everything was going to go smoothly. It would be the perfect trip, she was going to make sure of it. 

“How do we feel about peanut M&Ms?” She asked as they stopped at the end. 

“I do love a peanut M&M,” she agreed, “but I also know my son and those would be gone in two days max.” 

“What if we hid them?” She reached for the jar with the yellow lid. 

“That wouldn’t really be fair to the children.” 

“What if we got two?” She offered a final argument. 

“Now you’re talking,” Wanda laughed, reaching over to grab a second one. “Anything you forgot?” 

“I don’t forget things,” she shook her head as they joined a checkout line. “Not in this store.” 

With a full cart and a sense of pride, all they could do was wait. Wait for their turn after the old lady who must be buying for something at her church and the dad with five cases of pepsi in his cart. Waiting was the hardest part. Choosing which line would be the fastest. This was a make or break point. The step that determined whether or not they’d get out of there with time to spare or if their time was wasted. 

“Where are you going?” Heather asked as her girlfriend started to walk away from the cart. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Wanda waved her off. Leaving her alone with all the groceries that still needed to be put on the conveyor. A giant task right at the end that she had to do alone. Not that she wasn’t used to it. Whenever she went with Mac, he’d always wonder off to do whatever at this critical point. 

It didn’t matter. She could handle this. She’d handled it many times before. Just take all those small things and arrange them on the black belt. Put her card in the divider so everything runs smoothly. She couldn’t claim to be good at Costco if she couldn’t even finish the job. 

But despite previous patterns, she didn’t have to do this alone. Right as she reached down for the bag of cuties, another hand beat her to it. 

“Need help with this, ma’am?” Wanda teased as she started unloading the cart alongside her. 

“It would be greatly appreciated,” she rolled her eyes at her antics. It looked like more items than it really was. Guess that was a good thing that they didn’t completely over do it. Well, it was hard not to over do it. This wasn’t an average grocery trip, after all. No. This was a Costco trip before a big road trip. This was the real test of any great Costco shopper. 

“Do you need any boxes today,” the cashier asked, handing Heather her card back as she made it up to the register. 

“Yes, please,” she smiled. The sound of those familiar beeps filled her ears. It was the sound that couldn’t be replicated. The sound of right decisions and being set up for the next month. The sound of saving money. The sound of wholesale retail. 

Wanda stood right beside her as the number began to climb. She wasn’t sweating it. She knew how much this trip would cost. Gave a good 50 dollars of leeway because she knew they’d find things that weren’t on the list. Any good Costco shopper would account for it. But she wasn’t good. She was great. 

“Your total comes out to $258.65,” the cashier read out as the bagger was still busy putting everything into those boxes that would’ve been discarded otherwise. 

“Perfect,” Heather smiled before presenting her card. It was perfect. Despite Wanda’s efforts to distract her and throw her off her game, she still managed to make it. Proved to herself and everyone else with a ridiculously big cart that she still got it. 

“Alright, here’s your receipt, have a great day,” with that sendoff, she was ready to go. Leave this realm and go back into the real world. The real world where the rules didn’t make as much sense as they did in Costco. 

“Wait up, honey,” Wanda stopped her and headed over to the food court counter. Grabbing two drinks that had just been placed down. 

“Why did you get us drinks?” Heather couldn’t help but laugh as she put the caramel mocha freeze into her hand, leaving the strawberry banana smoothie for herself. 

“Consider it a reward for a job well done,” she shrugged, placing the straw into her drink. 

“The job isn’t over yet,” she denied, handing the receipt over to the checker. They gave the cart a thorough lookover before marking it with their purple sharpie. “We still have to put everything in the car and–” 

“Leave that up to me,” she gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Aren’t you so glad to have such a strong girlfriend?” 

“Mmm, I am,” she hummed as they entered the parking lot again. The light from the sun seemed blinding compared to the fluorescent ones they hung from the ceiling.