#walter baxter

Something finally clicked in the last 30% of Look Down in Mercy and I ended up really liking it. I read the US edition and was surprised how much was missing from the UK edition from the love scenes.

Why do I bring up sexuality? Well, I immediately gravitate towards any book that features a gay male relationship in the time of World War II, particularly between military men, because it satisfies two of my deep interests at once. Two of my favorite novels are Look Down in Mercy by Walter Baxter and Wingmen by Ensan Case. To me, these both exemplify the kind of book I want to read, but they execute them in different ways; Look Down in Mercy is much more literary in style compared to the midcentury popular war fiction style of Wingmen. Nevertheless, these books reach something deep in me that almost no other book I have ever read featuring gay men and World War II ever has before, and I think I figured out why: the vast majority of modern fiction involving a gay relationship in World War II falls into the category of traditional M/M romance fiction, and I prefer a gay male relationship in World War II that is not bound by the conventions of romance fiction, as well as has engaging historical details beyond set dressing.

I will be clear that I don't look down on romance fiction at all. It simply is usually not for me. I have given romance novels a good shot because I was looking for more gay World War II content to satisfy this niche interest of mine. A lot of them I even enjoyed, but it was almost always at a rather surface level. They didn't stick with me like Wingmen or Look Down in Mercy, with one exception, which I will get into later. At fist, I wondered why. I have since realized that pure, traditional romance novels are not for me because there is a fundamental mismatch between how I enjoy relationships in fiction and the inherent structure of a romance novel: I don't like a guaranteed happily ever after or happy for now ending. I want there to be at least some doubt that the ending will be positive, so if it is happy, it feels much more valuable. I can really enjoy an unhappy ending if it tells a compelling story, and the lack of that possibility makes the HEA or HFN endings in a romance novel feel so cheap to me. I understand that the reassurance of a positive ending is a driver for many people's interest in romance, so I know this is just a personal thing.

There is one book that falls into the M/M romance umbrella that did resonate with me, though, that did stick with me. That is this very obscure, Kindle-only book called Box 1663 by Alex Sorel. It involves an army photographer falling in love with a scientist at Los Alamos. What made it work for me, despite it being marketed as a romance novel, is that it didn't feel like one. Instead, it was a historical thriller, involving some of the greatest secrets of the war, that also involved a gay romance. It is not marketed as such at all, however. It also involved all these historical details around Los Alamos that made me really excited.

I think another flaw common in gay romance fiction taking place in World War II is that the setting feels like a total backdrop to the gay romance. I'm a World War II buff! I want to enjoy the setting, too! Reading about all the planes in Wingmen is so exciting to me. Look Down in Mercy has extremely vivid descriptions of the war that could range from beautiful to absolutely disgusting. Honestly, I like the scene descriptions as much as the actual plot in that book. That's how good they are. Box 1663 lets the reader know all about the Los Alamos laboratory and the dry landscapes of New Mexico. It was not just set dressing. The laboratory actually meant something; it was related to the thriller plot.

The thriller plot and historical details kept me so engaged in Box 1663, despite it being marketed as M/M romance and thus being guaranteed to not have a doomed relationship. This is what keeps me from totally avoiding all modern M/M romance during World War II. I can look past the guaranteed positive ending if I could end up with another Box 1663. It hasn't happened, but I don't want my enjoyment of this particular niche to be totally stuck in the 20th century. I want to give modern works a shot, too.

It feels so hard for me to find the kind of book I want to read that I started writing one myself. Back in 2020, I started writing a novel surrounding an American bomber crew in World War II. Two of the guys in the crew do end up falling in love. I think I will go back to it eventually and rewrite much of it. My writing has improved since then and I see where I wrote myself into a corner.

Basically, it feels so hard for me to find the kind of book that perfectly engages two separate interests like this. The World War II fiction authors generally don't care all that much about gay relationships, and the authors who want to write gay relationships are generally not especially fascinated by World War II. The kind of book I want to read is in an absolutely minuscule niche. I hope I can find more, but for now, at least it has motivated me to start writing my own novel.

My favourite books I read in 2020! (in no particular order)

Follows are goodreads links and maybe some thoughts on them? But I don't think I'm particularly capable of formulating coherent thoughts right now so it won't be much. Just trust that I love these books with my whole self.