#walkabouts

In June 2018, about seven months ago, I adopted a cat from a young woman who had to move apartments and could not take her cat with her. Brazilian Helicopter Pilot (BHP) and I immediately fell in love with her and took her home. It was a rocky week trying to get her to adjust. She had come from a happy, healthy home, and was traumatized by the quick transition. We didn’t have time to visit…

Part 1

PART 2

PART 3

There wasn’t a thing on the entire damn planet that made him feel better than Nat. Even from the moment Coulson had picked them up. His favorite agent was giving the pair of them the cold shoulder, but Natalia was there providing a heat to his entire left side where she was seated poised as can be on the edge of a chair. Then she let her leg rest against his as he softly started telling Coulson everything. She would press her leg into his when his voice got soft and he started to falter. Telling Elliot had been a rush to tell. Excitement and discovery. Natalia had been nerve racking for other reasons. Both confessions were to strangers. but this was so much worse, so revealing, too personal maybe? Coulson didn’t interrupt or speak until the end of Clint’s explanation. Clint finished telling him everything and was praying he believed him like the others had. Coulson was a different animal than Elliot and Natalia. 

“I’ve got some friends in New York that might have some answers.” Coulson says finally. “Thank you for telling me.” His tone is soft and Clint wonders if he’s angry. 

His friends are the Charles Xavier and Hank McCoy. They run lots of tests on Clint and Natalia but the walkabouts are no mutation. and Natalia’s DNA is so warped they can’t really tell left from up. Coulson spends a few moments talking to the two professor’s while Natalia gets a phone number from a cigar smoking mutant that promises her a wild time if she gets any sorta leash at SHIELD. Natalia’s satisfied smile has Clint smiling a little too. Already making friends. hopefully she didn’t live up to her moniker. Black Widow. He chuckled. Coulson joins them and they’re headed back to DC.

“Charles tells me we’ve got a lot to talk about. “ He’s silent for a moment before clearing his throat. “

Asset doesn’t mean what you think it means Clint. “ It’s the first time in a long time Clint can remember hearing Coulson say his name.

“SHIELD doesn’t own you. I don’t” He pauses. “I want to be friends. I want to work with you two.” He adds also speaking to Natalia. 

“We can do that” Clint shrugs. Coulson’s shoulders sag in relief. “Just be honest with us and We’ll be honest with you” He looks at Natalia and is glad she gives a curt nod. 

“I’m glad you came home Clint” Coulson holds out his hand and pulls Clint into his arms for a tight but brief hug. Clint is in heaven. 

****************************

The three of them spend the next few years becoming SHIELD’s best strike team. The United State’s best Strike team to be honest Coulson, himself and Nat, who’s now going by Natasha, often get loaned out to handle things beyond other agency’s capabilities. Their work puts SHIELD not only on the map but with the best databases the world has to offer. 

Coulson doesn’t badger Clint about walkabouts and takes his soul spotting into advisement. Clint doesn’t mention that he can’t see Coulson’s soul. Coulson let’s most things Clint and Natasha get up to slide. Natasha see’s Logan almost every weekend they’re not on a mission. So as a result Clint sees a lot of Logan. It doesn’t bother him and must not worry the mutant too much because he let’s Clint curl into bed with him and Natasha every night after they finish fucking. They don’t ask him to join and he doesn’t want to. They seem contented. Wild and Dangerous but good.

Coulson let’s Clint sleep anytime he can. No matter what job he’s supposed to do be doing, because the reality of it is Clint is never unaware of what’s going on. Other SHIELD operatives don’t like it as much when Clint takes to napping in their offices. Clint loves the startled double take the office admin do when they find him curled under the desk in their cubicles snoozing. The complaints get to annoy Coulson and Clint learns of his love of air vents instead. The complaints are many and detailed but Clint steals the reports from Coulson’s box most mornings before he can read half of them. 

Vent stalking is what gets them sent to New Mexico minus Natasha who gets to go play Malibu with Tony Stark. How was Clint to know Fury could see every spitball he shot at Hill’s back during that debrief. They were coming form the ceiling for goodness sake he thought he was safe! But even tho they’re getting separated and a lame ass job Coulson privately tells him his grouping was excellent. 

Phil spends a lot of time officially telling them boring reprimands and such and unofficially telling them his real thoughts. He never mentions the brief hug or Clint’s desire for him. It’s awful. Clint doesn’t mention it either, He knows what it’s like to be called on by someone you don’t want and could never bear the thought of making a move on Coulson that would make the handler uncomfortable. That’s the official reason he gives himself. Nat and Logan say it’s because he’s a coward. and well, that’s true too.

New Mexico is a weird haze of bizarre-o he hopes Coulson will bury so deep he gets out of all the paperwork. Firstly Thor, or “Donald Blake”. His little B&E stunt, his general descriptiveness, his cute little science friends, his not as cute Asgardian death robot and possibly most confusingly his completely White light soul. Clint never seen souls that matched besides gray and black. This white pulls his mind back to an underpass almost two decades ago. He feels old, tired and confused. Then in a swirl of magic tornado the blond is gone before Clint can get answers.

Darcy Lewis however is not gone. Clint meets her for the first time when he’s awake and knows without sleeping she’s going to be incredibly important in his life. 

For all intents and purposes she’s the exact opposite of him. She’s well educated, comes from a good home. she laughs too much and loves to freely. She’s all curves and knitwear and he’s hard lines and military battle gear. But he notices her anyway as she runs mid battle back toward the danger into town. 

Clint sees her out of the corner of his eye, swears and runs after her. She was headed in the direction of danger but ducks into a building just shy of the chaos. Clint doesn’t have time to decide if she’s safe or if he needs to go after her because she’s running back out followed by a herd of animals. It was the pet shop. She’d run headlong into an intergalactic battle for a pet shop. He’s wide awake but he wonders what colour this sweet soul will be. 

After the battle Darcy finds Clint at the bar, one of the few buildings left standing. It’s packed on account of today’s events. When she enters the bar a cheer goes up. 

“It’s Pet Shop girl!” Someone shouts and a large portion of the townsfolk at the bar raise a glass to her. Clint chuckles at the tipsy antics and raises his glass too. Darcy spots him and floats threw the people to shimmy onto the stool beside him. 

“So how was your day dear?” She jokes. Clint snorts and admires how Darcy seems to lounge on the stool like it was a sofa instead of a rickety, in need of reupholstering, stool. 

“Good met a pretty girl. She’s a hero, saved some pets” He grins back. Flirting with Darcy is easy and Clint can’t remember when’s the last time he felt so complete. Natasha is a piece of his soul, like a missing link that fits into his chain. Darcy makes him warm all over and want to hum. 

They drink until closing time and then walk to Darcy’s trailer together. 

“Come to bed Clint” She invites. Clint obeys. It’s weird that they don’t fuck but he likes that she just wants to lay soft kisses on his arms and chest and settle down for sleep. 

He’s right. She’s an orange that takes his breath away. She’s that burnt sun color as the day fades into night. Every breath she takes makes the colour shine brighter and mix with his purple. They don’t match by any stretch of the imagination but somehow he feels more right in her arms than he ever has. 

They wake up before the sunrises and then they fuck. Only it’s not like any sex Clint’s ever had before. It’s sharper somehow more real. He presses into Darcy over and over until at the very end of it, his mind flashes to the Orange color of her soul. It’s renewal, the way the days fade into each other. Ending yesterdays mistakes. It’s the natural order of things on earth. He feels like this is his first time really making love and all those other times wash away from his heart, dripping off his soul and down in face in the form of hot tears. Darcy doesn’t mind he cries and he loves her even more for it. 

Coulson calls and he leaves Darcy to go report for work. She gives him a knowing smile from where she lays naked in bed as he gets dressed and Clint’s glad to know she won’t make it a big deal and doesn’t mind he’s leaving to go back to Coulson. He tells her he is, Just in case. 

“That’s okay Clint. I’m happy for you.” She says earnestly. Clint believes her and walks away feeling completely satisfied. 

***********************

“So what now?” Natasha’s head is resting on his stomach while he tells her all about his encounter with Darcy. Her legs are stretched over Logan’s torso and he’s running his large hands gently up and down her smooth legs. Clint wonders if her DNA refuses to let her grow leg hair he’s never seen her shave.

“I don’t know but I feel good, Nat. Like so good” He admits contentedly. “Maybe I’ll ask Coulson out. Feel good enough now. “ He mutterers. Natasha pokes him sharply in the side rolling on to her side to look up at him. 

“Lewis doesn’t have a magic vagina. You didn’t sleep with an all healing pussy. You were always worth it. Always enough” She snaps. Clint feels a little foolish and remorseful he said that out loud. Its how he feels but he hates to bring up that stuff with Nat, She doesn’t tolerate self hate. Well from anyone but herself, she’s the Queen of Self-Pity but even that’s in a strong bad-ass assassin way.

“Plus is Coulson really gonna wanna hear you finally got yer head outta yer ass by boning a steamy brunette?” Logan points out. Clint chuckles. No that probably wouldn’t be best, but Selfish Clint knows how easy it would be to roll into Coulson with all these good feelings he’s still feeling. Start at the top of a crescendo. 

Suddenly going to Coulson right now feels sour in his gut. He doesn’t want to bring Darcy high to Coulson for the first time. He wants to bring just himself. He wants to drag in Clint Barton and offer it up for Coulson’s approval, acceptance,  His love. 

“I get it. I needed Darcy and you Nat,” Clint rests a hand on Natasha’s head. “But I don’t need Coulson to be me. I want Coulson. and that’s why it’s better right?” Natasha’s eyes widen a fraction and she smiles. 

CC | January 15, 2020