#waitress posting

so i’m waiting on a party of six, 3 people who look about my age, a middle aged guy and two older folks. and they’re nice, and we’re bantering and i notice the younger guy’s eyes are kinda following me- a little odd, but i try not to think about it. 

and so, while later im clearin plates, dropping the check and the older guy on the end is like, “i need to tell you something.” and i notice the guy who was staring at me put his head in his hands and groan and im pretend not to notice and im like, “yeah man whats up?” 

this guy is like, “you know that kids back there, he’s been looking, he’s quiet, but he wanted to ask if he could get your number?” and im like, awkward laughing- completely red in the face, mind goes blank. and all the while the other guy legit gets up and leaves the building, does not look up once. i felt so bad bc he looked embarrassed, but also like- i was speechless, i’ve never had someone so brazen  before, let alone this random senior citizen. 

TLDR;

-a lady flipped out at me bc i wouldn't honor her expired-by-a-year coupon. she flipped out demanded the manager and kept repeating "if you dont honor it i dont tip" (thank GOD my manager didnt let her have her way, the satisfaction of not letting her get her way was better than any tip) but also the funny thing is she did all this in front of a party of 5 who were my next table, and they all tipped 25% on their checks- so id call that a W for me

-an older guy told me i could cure my stomach ulcers with apple cider vinegar

-i run around the entire restaurant trying to find Captain Morgan bc i didnt see it in the bar where it shouldve been (it was there- the bottle was just facing the other way🙃)

-guy told me i looked like a bird (complimentary- apparently?)

my mouth is dry, im chugging monster zero ultra, my head is spinning, i have to piss violently, i can feel the sweat between my toes, my boss gives me a salt pill to stop sweating so much- it intensifies the caffeine headache.

so for the record im a pretty small person, im 5'3 and weigh 92 pounds, but anyway so i was clearing playes nd stuff and was like "ok are we taking the rest of the prime rib home?" and he was like, "yeah its for my dog" and then he said "my dog probably eats better than you do" and i was gonna laugh it off i was like "yeah i basically just eat bread veggies and coffee everything else makes me sick" and this guy down and back up at me and was like "yeah i can tell" and i was kinda laughing it off too but it was so weird!