#wagnerhate

Lisztober #13: Richard Wagner

Let's put it kindly: We f****in hate Wagner, @franzliszt-official

So much so, that we've been working on this song for three months (!!!) in a row and had to keep censoring ourselves, so that nobody from Bayreuth would sue us. I was foaming at the mouth when I wrote the lyrics and it was twice as long. The current version is way more harmless, but still very explicit. I still feel pruned.

In the meantime, we've pretty much agreed that our Wagner-rant will be the first single from our new album. And that we will actually be travelling 5 hours to Bayreuth for a music video. I'll start puking as soon as I see the city sign. You'll be surprised.

The actual song is a beautiful two-part ‘in your face’ electropunk song, which we will unfortunately only be able to present to you here after its release.

So today we're simply playing you an EXCLUSIVE acoustic, heavily (!!!!!!) wine influenced version with wrong notes and creepy laughter, which we tried to distort in advanced and failed.  ( Also with a bit of a beat, otherwise it'll be too monotonous), Sooo we can all cuddle up to and hug each other in our hatred. (And this hatred has a long, long history, by the way: Coppelia and I met at the university, where the beginning of the song takes place. This also Weimar, everybody.)

But why do we actually despise Wagner?

Because he was a pompous, narcissistic megalomaniac. A two-faced, Janus-faced snake, a shitty anti-Semite of the worst kind who sucked everyone around him dry and then threw them away. Even Liszt. ESPECIALLY Liszt. A hypocrite before the Lord. And then there's the irony that his obvious gayass (Oh, come on! Ludwig II? Oscar Wilde? Any Wagner opera is gayer than a binge- marathon of „Drag Race“ with Strawberry Daiquiris) has constantly hung out with such Teutonic alphamales like Nietzsche. In short: A real-life-„Uriah Heep“, that not even Dickens could have thought up in a certanied f****ed up way.

And that's just Richard himself. There's also his work, which became the soundtrack to National Socialism and the all-time-favorite to all f****** Nazis, thanks to his zealous family. They all loved having ‘Uncle Wolf’, as Hitler was called at Wahnfried, around. „If I think of Germany in the night, I am jolted from my sleep.“ Thank you. Heine!

Then there is Cosima. Liszt's daughter, who later became Wagner's wife. Who had forbidden Franz to get any visits during the last days of his life in Bayreuth, but not at all for reasons of too much excitement, as one might think. Thanks to Franz's pupil Lina Schmalhausen, who stayed outside the house for days, we know: Cosima left the old man in his bed until he was sore, only came to check on him briefly in the morning and left him to moan and rattle alone at night. After all, there were more important things to do: the festival. A few hours before Franz's death, there was still a jolly supper for the Wagner family and friends. And oh, of course, a bust of Wagner at the feet of Liszt's corpse. Cosima refused him the last rites. Something was played at his funeral...right! Parsifal. Incidentally, no Wagner was present at the service. And the fact that Liszt was buried (there seems to be no English translation for the German word "verscharrt"...in German it's: Dig a hole and throw the corpse in, put some soil on it and continue on) in Bayreuth at all fitted perfectly into the marketing concept. They finally gained the last crown jewel missing from the collection of self-congratulation. Congratulations, you stupid, abusive, heartless, freakin bitch.

DISGUSTING!

What a completely insane, sadistic brainf****. I'll write another song about it. Maybe on the last day. I think I have something to process.

And yet, they all make the pilgrimage, the Wagnerians, to Bayreuth, sing songs together at Richard‘s grave, shed tears and lay flowers. All because of the ‘great’ operas and all that, of course. You just have to train yourself to forget.

Micdrop.

PS: Finally, I would just like to take up some cudos for Nike Wagner, the ‘outcast’. She is still keeping the memory of her great-great-grandfather alive. And I think she even looks a bit like him. Nike. We love you. Come back to Bonn <3

Lyrics:

My history prof(essor) Was a sweet guy But unfortunately there had been a problem With his love for Wagner For him, there was only Richard here and Richard there Although everyone knows How shitty that guy was Wagner! Persona non grata! it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for me listening to one of Wagner’s operas We just wanted to learn medieval studies Now we will be penetrated by Valkyries Wagner's ego Was enough for ten With which he could well To walk over corpses Wagner! Persona non grata! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for me listening to one of Wagner’s operas He was a mad Anti-Semite Who liked to f**** around with others He could not admit his own gayness And had to beg everyone for For money Wagner! Persona non grata! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than me listening to one of Wagner’s operas I puke over Cosima too Who unfortunately wasn't as cool Like her daddy was They trained Liszt to be a Their poodle And always  craved his fame Wagner! Persona non grata! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for me listening to one of Wagner’s operas All oft hem just Infatuated with themselves The worst thing: They buried Franz In Bayreuth You have f****ed up Nietzsche too After that he Dismantled slowly Wagner! Persona non grata! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for me listening to one of Wagner’s operas In Wahnfried Adolf was a permanent guest The memory of it Seems faded already You just have to keep the myth alive Fold your hands Above Wagner busts You’ll just have to train How to forget Then it will be easier To  mastr*ba*e to Lohengrin Wagner! Persona non grata! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for me listening to one of Wagner’s operas Richard, yo, if I were Your mistress on the hill I would give you a good Beating A good beating!

I don't think his final resting place does him justice. Tonight, when we come back, I'll clear away the leaves. And a branch fell on my head while we were talking. I'll take that as a sign 😅, @franzliszt-official

@franzliszt-official @chopinski-official 🫀

Dear friends of cultivated hysteria,

we are happy (and relieved) to announce that our new album ‘Alle meine Boyfriends sind tot’ is out , wherever streaming (iTunes, Spotify, Amazon and so on) is available. Find links to every plattform over here:

You can find the official announcement from our great label Eygenutz here: Announcement

Accompany us this time to the 30-year war, to our worst nightmares (David Garrett!), back to Lisztomania (finally the years of sexy singing and moaning for other bands have paid off…why am I always asked to do this? Nobody knows!!!!) and learn what to do with your Horus when he getting weird.

Track list:

Alte Meister

Verlorene Generation

Symphonie Fantastique

Lisztomanie

Die Zelle in Nonnenwerth

Paganini Reversed

Wagner

Sperrmüll

Hanuta-Mann

Worpswede

Beach-Horus

Boda Negra

In addition to our album release, there is also a homemade music video for "Lisztomanie" on Youtube as well. :)

Well, not a real casting call. We'll take anyone who wants to join ;)

So if you are interested in taking part in our Wagner video, you are cordially invited to do so. Just send us a video of yourself and your Wagner disgust. I will send you the song in advance. You are pretty much able to do, whatever you want.( Cuddling with a Mendelssohn cushion to make Wagner's shitty ghost real angry, for example..;)

There are only 3 restrictions:

- The video must be in landscape format.

- No faces. You can use anything you want. Masks, veils, balaclavas... Whatever. We are Maid-nonymous, we are legion. Nerds. You can stay completely anonymous. But we can also promote your channel xy if you want. This is mainly for the aesthetics of the video. There will definitely be a thank you list at the end. And everyone will get a thank you - present from us.

- No book burnings, no WW II attire or similar. Stay hateful, but funny & classy. But feel free to burn posters. Or something ;)

The deadline for submissions is November 15th. If you need more info, let me know.

The fever dream begins. And I swear, we didn't dream it. I asked Lacelove several times, if this experience was created from my sleep deprivation or Lisztober, but she assured me, everything was a real.

We have never experienced a museum like the Wagner Museum anywhere in our lives. And we really have been to a lot of museums, in Germany, Europe and also in the USA. And this was the freakiest experience we've ever had. By far. Fortunately, we had decided to come in civilian clothes and without costumes. When we took the first pictures of Wahnfried's outdoor area, we could already feel a museum attendant looking out of the window. So we dutifully showed our pre-purchased combined tickets in the entrance hall. ‘If you still want to see the „other“ museum, do that first. It closes at 12.’ ‘We've already been to the Liszt House.’ ‘...’ (WTF?) ‘Would you like an audio guide?’ ‘Gladly.’

‘We'll need your ID or driving licence as a deposit.’ We look at each other. Has there ever been a museum where we had to leave personal IDs as a deposit? Nope. The first exhibition - costumes and props - is in the basement. Everything is black. On the wall is a gallery of all the conductors who have ever conducted Wagner operas. Of course Franz and Hans von Bülow are missing, I say to Lacelove. We are alone in the room. A museum guard approaches us from the other side and says: ‘I'm sure you've noticed that a few conductors are missing here. The women (!?), for example, especially the lady from Sydney. (?) The collection is currently being digitised. Until then, the collection will remain as it is.’ Okay. Okay. He sends us on to the ‘Mensch Wagner’ exhibition, which is located in an empty corridor with a doorway to the left. It's there so that people outside can't look in. That alone is confusing. And the first thing we see there is this.

‘What you always wanted to say to Richard Wagner.’ LOL. Oh, that doesn't fit on any card. It doesn't even fit in a 3 minute song. And we do it. We tell Richard everything we ever wanted to say. In short form. And - thank God - we're not the only ones. ‘How does it feel to justify every immoral act with moral immunity?’, asks Pauline from Berlin. Hey, Pauline, if you ever read this, please get in touch with us. „RIP, Kitschbrother.’ Or critical questions about anti-Semitism, of which there is NOTHING in this exhibition, by the way, except one sentence. In any case, Richard's parasitism crops up very often, but he was just a little scoundrel. Uhu! Er hatte viele Schulden und er liebte alle Frauen!

And now it gets really weird.

Over to Wahnfried. Via a lift, all in black, with buttons that look like they're from a James Bond film. There are only the options ‘Wahnfried’ and ‘Below’, but maybe there's a secret swastika key that leads to the Führerbunker. We don't know.

  The lift ends in a black corridor with two corridors to the left (please take a look at the video from our post today and hear us laugh) and right. One of them ends in a Wagner bust and you are selectively bombarded with Wagner pieces. If there's anything more German than that, I don't know what it is.

At some point after this ghost ride with a lot of Japanese tourists nearby, you arrive at the ‘real’ Haus Wahnfried. And, God, @franzliszt-official , how nice it is to see your face. Please save us:

But everything in Cosima's parlour is covered with white cloths. Even in the library. Or under very important glass domes. Drama, baby. And I keep thinking: Miss Havisham. Miss Havisham would have touched herself for this:

Very important information on the first floor. Or not....

And, of course, Crazy Fritz is presented again:

And there are always museum guards everywhere. You're not even allowed to laugh. And we often laugh. This is a serious subject. A mausoleum of art. We feel like we're in a tomb that must be a tomb all the time. With all its German seriousness. So serious and arrogant that it's ridiculous.

At the end, when we go to collect our bags, the museum dude from the conductor's room stands in front of us again. ‘Have you looked at everything?’

‘Yes, of course,’ we say.

‘What did you like best?’

‘The library,’, says Lacelove, without batting an eyelid.

‘Did you look at all the books?’ (YES! LAME! Like we don't look at all the books...)

‘Yes, quite a few standard works.’ (Love you!)

‘More than that! Didn't you look on the right? The books on mythology! He read in 4 languages! And what he didn't understand, he had translated! Amazing, isn't it?’

No. Pretty much standard back then. And every humanities student today works with 4 languages. Can we please talk about what kind of cosmos Franz Liszt already had in his mid-20s without much schooling? No, we can't. Then we won't get our IDs back. And anyway....we shoot the rest of our video at home. Really. 

Weimar. I am really sorry, for every rant we have made about you so far. We love you. Please take us back.

We actually did it. We actually decided, without further ado, that we would go to Bayreuth on  November 1st to collect video material. Why on November 1st? Because it's a public holiday here in Germany and we’ll have a long weekend. And because we will probably fall into a deep hole after the end of Lisztober. All the tension will fall apart drastically.

We only thought of this AFTER we had made arrangements for our holiday flat: It's All Saints day.

 What a brilliantly shitty idea to make a video fort he Maidchen in a Catholic cemetery in Bavaria (!!!) on All Saints Day. xD. God, we are a bunch of  idiots.

After all, that evening the final of the ‘Franz Liszt Competition’ for pianists from all over the world takes place in Bayreuth. In a youth centre. Of course. In a youth centre. Where would you rather show off your skills?

By the way: the hotel search alone made us furious. ‘Hotel Rheingold’? ‘Apartment Götterdämmerung’? Bayreuth, you're out of your mind. Really.  We already suspected the whole Wagner cult there would give us massive nightmares, but we didn't expect it to be so bad in advance. We booked the only hotel without any Wagner reference within the city centre.

And then we also had a look at the Liszt Museum, which, OH WONDER, is not near Wahnfried only, but also in the Wahnfried Street. Yeahy.  And the press release from the city of Bayreuth has already put us in a REALLY GOOD Mood:

‘During the night from July 31st to August 1st Franz Liszt died in the presence of Cosima (HAHA) and was buried (‘buried’) on August 3rd at the Bayreuth city cemetery. The house he died in, Wahnfriedstraße 9, has been the Franz Liszt museum since 1993. A bust of Liszt from Arno Breker stands on the green hill in the park of the Opera Festival House, not far from the bust of Richard Wagner also from Arno Breker.’

‘Not far from the bust of Richard Wagner.’ Oh yes, that's very important to mention! And, hoodelally, Arno Breker, our nipples are exploding with delight. Do you know what else Arno Breker made? No? A bust of Hitler. Because he was a Nazi fellow  and an artistic sycophant of Adolf. Whoohoo.

And the damn group ticket is of course for both the Wagner Museum and the Liszt Museum. And we swear, if we're really that stupid and go to the Wagner Museum, we'll need tranquilisers before we're handed audio guides. The exhibition in the Wagner Museum itself also makes our hearts beat faster: ‘Composer, poet, playwright, author, director, conductor, egomaniac, philanderer, anti-Semite, left-wing radical (WHUT?), climate activist (DOUBLE WHAT?), animal lover (like Hitler?), genius (lol) ... who was Richard Wagner?’ An arse! You don't need a whole exhibition, let alone a museum, to know that. READ HIS F***** Bio! Really! How can anyone dig this idiot, when you know his biography????

And then let's see what glorious 3 sentences there are about Liszt on the official Bayreuth tourism site...Yawn!

But, oh, we could also be interested in ALL of that, too!:

The Walk of Wagner! Awesome!

What's that? Let's see:

‘The Walk of Wagner connects authentic Wagner sights between Haus Wahnfried and the Festspielhaus. In 2013, the composer celebrated his 200th birthday and this was the occasion to create the Walk of Wagner - modelled on Hollywood's famous Walk of Fame.’ 

ROFL! Oh, we're dying of excitement. Hopefully we remember to eat enough so we can vomit at every stop!

But it's also nice:

-If anyone remembers Lisztober #3: One of my former colleagues, who works at the Beethovenhaus and is very involved in the Beethovenfest, was very happy afterwards. I also apologised to her for the Bonn song ;) But she loves Liszt and can forgive us. Next time I see her, I'll beg her to tell Nike Wagner (former director of the Beethovenfest and greatgreatgrandaughter of Franz) about it when she sees her again. ;) (You see, @franzliszt-official, you may have thought up the topics in one evening, but it's a damn small world. ;))

-Yesterday Lacelove let me know that we have to reshoot a few scenes for Lisztomanie on Friday. Especially the scene with the quill. I look at my arm and swear a little. Unfortunately, our camera has blurred some of the takes, so we have to some takes it again. But without cognac this time, please. (I hate cognac. Sorry, Franz. I only drink red wine. And the occasional Ardbeg ;))) Lacelove is in Berlin beforehand, then joins me in the evening and we have to put in a night shift. That's not to sound arrogant, but we're a bit lost. Actually, other people usually make music videos for us that are far more professional. So, expect more of a home video…but we had fun. We also like to touch each other, as you can see... ;) Even if Lacelove thinks that I've fabricated the ‘Lisztomanie crap and have to keep my face in the camera for it.’

-On Saturday, we're re-shooting the first scenes for Wagner. I cut the first scenes from Bayreuth today. Coppelia won't be available again until January, but we can understand that. We're getting external reinforcements for that ;)

-On 17 November, you can listen to an exclusive track from our new album on the Radio Hazzard of Darkness programme ‘Electronic Dreams’. We don't know which one it will be and that's quite exciting: Roberto always picks his favourite. The last few times we were very surprised.

-Our first remix will be released on 20 November, more on that on Friday when the press release and the DJ line-up have been finalised

-On 23rd November I am off to the deserted North Sea with my main band. Another video, singing in, mastering…and some more Maidchen stuff that I'll post here.

-I recorded the last take of the German version of ‘Annabelle Lee’ today. Oh, it's a beautiful poem. And I really don't care if guys find me a turn-off because of it (see my post about our song ‘Hör auf im Bett über Marc Aurel zu reden"). If I get goosebumps when I'm recording, that's always a good sign.