#wafflenull

“Hey, Whizz?” Marvin calls as he steps through the screen door and into their dining room. “Can you c’mere a second?” He holds a finger to his lips, telling the snake to be quiet, as if it was going to say anything in the first place.

“Yeah--” Whizzer stops dead in his tracks in the doorway. “What the hell are you wearing, Marvin?”

“Oh? This old thing?” Marvin asks, tossing the tail over his shoulder with some dramatic flair. “I just found it in the yard. Isn’t it just dashing?”

“Yeah, it’s making me me wish I was ‘dashing’ away from you.” Whizzer replies. “Take it off.”

“Aww, but it’s cute.” Marvin says. “And it likes me.”

Whizzer makes an incredulous face. “It looks angry as hell.”

“No, it’s happy.” Marvin insists. “Aren’t you happy, Freddie?” He pets the snake’s head with his index finger, and it takes the opportunity to bite his hand.

“Son of a--” Marvin shouts, tossing the snake to the floor. 

“Why the fuck would you throw it down inside?” Whizzer yells, hopping up onto the nearest chair just as the snake slithers by him. “Now there’s snake in our house!”

“It bit me! I just reacted!”

“I told you to take it off.” 

“Thank you, Whizzer, that’s so helpful right now.”

*CRACKS KNUCKLES SO AGGRESSIVELY BOTH MY HANDS BREAK*

Roger is The World's WHITEST Man™. Any white dad stereotypes you can think of? Such as he enjoys grilling? He has a big dumb golden labrador? He has the worst goofy, punny humor? He fits all of 'em. His dad owns a Golf Resort on Cuttyhunk, that's why he brought Gordon there to have a miserable time. His family is LOADED and full of snotty, passive-aggressive jerks, he's the only tolerable one. He's super charitable and really only uses his share of money for good, he's got straight, white teeth, full, beautiful hair, a great body, he's basically Flawless and Perfect. It pisses everyone off but he's just too soft and good for anyone to stay mad.

Rhoda is a single mother. She works in the government, but she's doesn't trust Gordon not to be a jerk and scare/chase off every single person who works for him, so she's his agent and manager on top of all her government work. She's basically super-woman, she's incredible at managing everything and being a good friend and mother and man I just. Want Rhoda to have much more depth and development because she has so much potential to be Wonderful??? So I just now came up with all this for her.

Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

Bad Day? (761 words) by flower_tierChapters: 1/1Fandom: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/LevensonRating: Teen And Up AudiencesWarnings: No Archive Warnings ApplyCharacters: Jared Kleinman, Evan Hansen

My Tumblr Crushes:

bisexualgambit (19%)

irlwhizzybrown (14%)

just-a-comet (9%)

haberdashing (7%)

wafflenull (7%)

whzzers (5%)

king-of-some-thing (3%)

augbee (3%)

sandrakkan (3%)