#waaaaaahhhh

like, sol is “impressed.” marazhai is “ascention” (ascension) kibellah is “synchronicity”, and cassia is “amour courtis” (courtly love) which are all, you know, good things, and of course “sincerity” is also good…

but the fact that jae needs you to be Real with her, she needs you to love her for exactly who she is, underneath the shiny, appealing mask, she needs you to genuine and honest to fully romance her and be with her properly. sure, jae is greedy, and can be sycophantic, and plays every card she can to get ahead after suffering horrible abuse, but she also… does want to be loved for who she is.

and it just makes me sob because jae is so social, and she displays so many good traits alongside the bad. she is defensive or caring of some the mentally weak (idira, even sometimes cassia), she sticks by those that have earned her utmost trust, she heavily criticizes the abusive upper stratum when given the chance, and is just… so charming, so lovely, possesses such a strong will and sense of self, she is so lovable, all of her.

so the fact that her deepest requirement to be loved is as simple as accepting and loving all of her, and the implication that the only person that could give her that is the rogue trader fucking destroys me. it has me sobbing on the floor.

AAOOOUUUUAAAWAWAWAWAWA

I'm still pretty active on tumblr, just not with you guys, unfortunately-

I've been in some very high-demand classes at my school, so all my energy has been on that, so I've been neglecting talking online, sadly.

I really wanna start talking with you guys again and make new moots, I just haven't found the time or motivation to start trying. I've barely even drawn since I left you guys ;-;