#w.para

there wasn't always a time where she had to cook, but there her friends were going to have dinner at her place this week. hyeri hadn't had time to cook much this month and the regular visit to the supermarket seemed a bit strange. she leaned onto her shopping cart handles, arms hanging off the handles. observing the red tomatoes, she stepped closer to the batch. scrunching her face, she put down the tomato. there was so much to pick and she had to pick the best ones, just like her personality. she had to make sure none of the ingredients were bad. running a hand through her hair, she sighed frustratingly. she tugged at her track pants, trying to smooth out her state of stress. it's only a dinner, no need to fuss hyeri.

she kept her eyes on the variety of ingredients, pushing her cart forward without any thought or vision of the path in front of her. there was a nasty crank of two metal parts and an abrupt stop of the cart in front of her, causing hyeri to bump into the metal frame. rendered surprised for a few seconds, she backed up, rubbing her ankle that was scratched up a little. seeing a male in front of her, fussing like her she bowed briefly, apologizing, "Sorry, I wasn't looking." staring up, she was met with eyes that she hadn't seen in a few years, a face that stirred up warmth and guilt in her chest. "J-Jongin," hyeri's voice sounded taken back, eyebrows furrowed in a slight panic and confusion of the situation. "Wha-what... Why are you...?" it was one of the only times that hyeri has ever been caught off guard. her eyes darting around her, lips now forming a thin line in her usual expression.

kim jongin was suppose to be in new york at ballet school. was it that he had came back and how did hyeri not know about it? the last time she had seen jongin... they never said their farewells with each other. she was so lost inside her own pain that the two had parted without knowing anything about the other. hyeri had closed off first but after that, she supposed they distanced until she felt the loneliness without jongin's presence. she realized that she wouldn't get to see him for he had long went to new york.

if there was any person more serious than her when working, it may be kyungri. hyeri has always trained herself to be diligent that she put 110% in all her work. when she was small, she lost her role to a prettier girl that had parents with more influence on the play than her talent. from then on, she knew that her best was not enough. if she was going to win, she would have put all her effort and more so that talent will beat money. and so she learned that when the showcase was sold out even without the need of miss daddy's girl that her black bruised toes were worth it.

the first time hyeri was introduced to kyungri, she realized that the girl had more passion for her job, more fire in her soul to burn one hundred nights. she watched the designer fix the clothes into her sides with a glimmering smog of diligence in her eyes, even if the needles pierced through delicate skin of the human body--nerves be damned, as kyungri worked on. she bit her tongue as the designer poked at her clothes through her body; she endured not because of her serious attitude towards her job, but because the fire inside kyungri burned more fierce than hyeri's ever did. and the younger smiled in melancholy, feeling once again of spark lit from the ashes of her lungs by kyungri's fire, ashes stomped out from a fatal injury of her ankle. she was a bit envious as she saw in kyungri, what she failed to be.

after her failure, hyeri fell into a state of demise and gray. modeling was a route that was placed before her to replaced her greatness into some other being, she believed. but it was smashed already, the ashes fading into the dirt along with the rest of her. on gray days, hyeri would get away. submerge herself into the world the glittering lights brought her to and let the intoxication swallow her and fog up her mind like it does her emotions.

the setting was brightly lit with the small chatter of many workers, sometimes just empty words to fill up the space of the air, sometimes whispers that are held back by a second but spoken so softly and quickly like fire on the tongue. the sound of a clack emitted as hyeri clicked her heels together, boredom and gloom seeping out of her with eyes staring distantly at the scene. she hated small parties. she hated these, small intimate things with people putting up their nice masks and coy words to attract others to their advantage. it was all so fake and boring. she heaved a sigh as she looked with disappointed eyes into the red of her wine. what she wouldn't give to be at home with a nice beer or something. hyeri only came because it would look rude of her not come to the company's dinner party and the excuse of needing to socialize with her coworkers.

twirling her drink glumly, her eyes scanned the food set by the side. with the wide ranges from prettily set up sushi to the fancy chocolate fountain even, only a fool would refuse this kind of assortment. and a fool hyeri was as she bit back her urge, the curling of hunger settled in the pit of her stomach. her fingers dipped into the white fabric set on the table as she eyed the delicate, lemon cupcakes sprinkled with colored glitter set upon a platter up high in all it's glory. it was calling for her but she turned her head in shame, counting the slices buttered toast she had for breakfast this morning. she never recalled counting how much calories she ate so strictly until she became a model. of course, when she had to be fit and slender for dance, there would be instances where she held back but a ballerina had to eat enough to have energy and hyeri ate enough that she was never on the edge of collapsing. but with this new occupation, she was surrounded by moving mouths counting how many days a meal was skipped, how many visits to the toilet will you have eating today. it was a contagion that spread like oxygen to fire. she scoffed internally, dinner? what dinner, i can't even eat. her gloom seeped into the pit of her bones, her appetite was wasted anyways. 

hyeri sipped her drink quietly, blank eyes that scanned the crowd. oh, isn't that.. his face sparked in her memory and a sweet scent that brought an unusual flowering fondness. who was that? that's the guy that works at the boutique she went to frequently! that was peculiar, why was he here? she remembers the quaint shop that she found interest in often. she went there regularly that the employees had known her name and they sometimes made small talk. granted, hyeri hadn't seen him for quite a while with her life being more busy, traveling sometimes to different places.