#vutriolic

Weeks, it’s been weeks since he last came home. It’s beenweeks since he saw his bed, since he last saw his apartment, even Kuro, and ofcourse, Taeyong.

To say that he was trying to find himself was a weak excusebut he couldn’t seem to put anything together as it really was the reason whyhe went away. When he stepped out of the same fully furnished apartment thatbecame his sweet haven, he knew that it would take time before he realizes thathe wants to come back home. His fingers fidget along the lining of his sweater,it’s still summer, but he’s cold, and he wasn’t sure whether it was because hedoesn’t feel warm even with the heat of the sun or he’s too cold to even comprehendthat coldness is relative to temperature and not his way of life.

Jaehyun spent his time roaming around the streets at nightas he slept in the morning. He came back to his parents’ house, the abandonedone, the one where he fought numerous masked men in order to protect himselffrom his pending death, the one that holds his childhood memory.

He could see himself run around the hallway of the now emptyplace full of debris of the cracking wall, concrete unstable, tiles unaligned.He’s sad, and he admits that. He’s sad because he’s not a child anymore, he’ssad because all that he could think about is how the dark consumes that smallhint of light inside his mind, and he can’t pull anyone down but himself. It wouldbe unfair to be too selfish, he’s been too selfish enough to know how it couldaffect other people, and it’s that kind of sickness that he doesn’t want anyoneto have, but it seems as if he’s the cause of the plague that might breakout.

When Jaehyun sees the message that popped on the screen ofhis phone, he knew that it’s been too long that he’s gone missing, and heshould go back because all he ever consumed were numerous amounts of water andwine that he found on the basement that is still intact within the mansion, andcrackers. Expired crackers.

I miss you.

Insignificance is a part of his head—he’s never enough,maybe he is, but not all the time that he’s enough. To some people, he may be,but to himself, he lacks a lot of things, and it’s been an eternal struggle tocope up with the fact that there’s only one person who could love him as he is,and it’s also the same person who hates him more than anything else – himself.

He knows that whatever he does would affect the things that wouldhappen ahead of time, his head is clouded with the thoughts of actually endingthe misery that suffocates him but then again, the reason for that is becausehe can never move on from the darkness that became his only comfort at times assuch. He’s confused, his emotions are unstable, although calm, Jaehyunpossessed that kind of trait that a lot of people find hard to establish, hedoesn’t give a fuck.

( msg: taeyong. ) I’m cold, hyung.

pretty city asks // accepting !Chicago: What do you ache for ?              dying  – or rather, living. 

i also loved the spam it was v interesting

( msg. ) You see me almost everyday, unless I’m asleep and locked in my computer room. 

( msg. ) You should also know that I don’t have a concept of breakfast, lunch, and dinner. So whatever you have prepared, know that it’s my breakfast. 

❪ source. ❫ question sentence starters❪ querier. ❫ @vutriolic​❪ status. ❫ not accepting

      an adventure never experienced before --- something so exhilarating and delightful that his limbs woud just quiver with the immense rapture and marvel of how fantastic a situation could be. or not. most definitely not -- if there is the slightest hope in taeyong’s mind that such a menacing looking boy with eyes red and a cut upon the bridge of his nose, with gaze boring into the nothing in the air as if even the smallest of molecules are his long worst enemy and he’s prepared to shut the world down with his bruised knuckles could feasibly guide or lead him towards anything on the spectrum of a positive encounter, well, he’s pitifully wrong. ilseong is just as described: noxious and pernicious --- he holds a tendecy to havoc everything on his way, including himself. it’s piteous albeit this is his raw conduct; who he genuinelyy is on the inside was buried deep down years ago and now he’s portraying himself as such a person of malice and apathy. either of the two -- no in between nor other emotions displayed. the trailer park is a precarious place (it’s close to where ilseong sleeps but not too close -- for his father not to see him although the boy is certain that with the grand amount of alcohol in his blood the old man wouldn’t even recognize himself in the mirror, let alone his son) -- and if taeyong steps a foot in that territory he will be doomed. it’s merely a favor, which he performs albeit keeps solemn and impertinent about it, in one aproach or another.

      ❛the exit,❜    he utters briefly with his back turned towards taeyong as he guides him to the other side of the drive-in ; now rather remote from the easiest road however much prefered, unless the older one holds a deathwish ilseong is unaware of. it is just that people make him perturbed, hence the boorishness in the tone of his voice ------ he means no harm. or... does he? who knows. 

[ x ]; accepting!

she clenched her jaw and froze in her place. breath hitched in her throat. beads of sweat clinging to her forehead. her soul was panic stricken, but under no circumstance did she express how she felt. under no circumstance did she give off any indication that she was uncomfortable, and under no circumstance did she say a word. her posture was cool, calm and collected, and her face bore no emotion at all, but it was quite obvious.

the female was angry

there was no warning before this. no heads up. no nothing. it all happened so fast and so suddenly that there was simply no time to have been notified of this situation. a situation that was not of her own, but one she had been dragged into against her own will. it was unbearable. her current state was becoming harder to deal with, but as time went on it occurred to her that, despite being apart of the mess, she had no idea what was going on. the content of the problem had been nonexistent to her the entire time and in that realization, her anger had subsided for the meanwhile— only to be replaced by confusion, and a question arose. sera’s gaze shifted towards the other, her head slowly cocking to the side. colored hues gleamed with uncertainty, and a hint of exasperation. she still wasn’t going to say a thing, but she was sure the question was so clear that she didnt even need to speak. just who was he talking about?