#vrvr angst

...!

You and Yongseung had been going on dates for a while now, and after weeks of dancing around each other, he had finally asked you out properly.

Since then, everything had felt almost unfairly perfect.

He was perfect.

He was the kind of man who noticed every little thing about you without needing to ask. Whether you were cold, tired, uncomfortable, overwhelmed, he always knew somehow.

He’d quietly shift closer when the road got too crowded, hand you the drink you liked before you even mentioned being thirsty, slow his pace just slightly so you’d never have to hurry beside him.

And God, he was so beautiful while doing it too.

There was something devastating about how gentle he was. The way he looked at you so attentively sometimes made your chest ache. You honestly melted whenever you were around him.

There was just one tiny problem.

He hadn’t kissed you yet.

At first, you tried not to think too much about it. Maybe it was still too early. Maybe he just wanted to take things slowly.

But as the days passed, the thoughts started creeping in anyway, ugly and persistent.

Were you the only one falling this fast?

Did he not like you as much as you thought he did?

Were you just… not pretty enough for him to want you that way?

You felt ridiculous for even thinking it, embarrassed by how badly it bothered you, but no matter how much you tried to push it down, the insecurity lingered.

And unfortunately, it showed.

The next time you went out together, you just couldn’t hide it.

To Yongseung, things had started normally enough.

But slowly, he began noticing the differences.

You weren’t rambling excitedly beside him like you usually did. Your smiles came smaller, distracted. Even your laughter sounded softer somehow.

It made something uneasy settle in his chest.

Still, he didn’t push.

Maybe you’d had a bad day. Maybe you were tired.

He tried cheering you up instead, quietly doing all the little things he knew you liked. He bought your favorite dessert. Took you to the park you’d mentioned wanting to visit weeks ago. Stayed close without crowding you.

But nothing worked.

And though none of it showed on his face, Yongseung was beginning to panic a little.

The drive back to your house felt painfully quiet. Normally, he liked silence. But with you? Never.

He reached toward your hand once before hesitating midway, fingers curling back toward himself.

What if you didn’t want him touching you right now?

By the time you arrived at your house, the silence had exhausted him.

You got out before he could come around to open the door for you, but he followed after you anyway, wanting at least to walk you up properly before saying goodbye.

You stood at your front door, hand wrapped tightly around the doorknob.

But you couldn't take it anymore.

Then suddenly, you turned toward him so abruptly it startled even him.

“Am I not pretty?”

Yongseung blinked, completely caught off guard.

“What?” he answered immediately, brows furrowing. “No…- you’re pretty. Why would you even ask that…-”

“Then do you just not like me?”

You cut him off before you could lose the courage to say it, fists clenching at your sides as you looked away from him.

For a moment, Yongseung just stared.

Then his expression softened painfully.

How could you possibly think that?

He stepped closer carefully, slowly reaching for your hand, giving you enough time to pull away if you wanted to.

You didn’t.

His fingers wrapped gently around yours, thumb stroking over your knuckles.

“Where is this coming from?” he asked softly. “Of course I… like you.”

The quiet sincerity in his voice only made your embarrassment worse.

“Then why don’t you kiss me?”

Your voice came out smaller than you intended, making him freeze.

“You never kiss me,” you continued quietly, refusing to meet his eyes. “Not when we meet, not when we leave… you never…”

God, hearing yourself say it out loud made you want to disappear.

You sounded childish. Greedy.

Meanwhile, he’d been nothing but gentle and considerate with you.

Maybe he really just…-

“Is that what was bothering you today?”

His voice pulled you out of your spiraling thoughts. It wasn’t teasing. Or judgmental.

Just curious.

Because of course he had noticed.

When you didn’t answer, Yongseung suddenly looked down with a quiet, helpless smile.

“I thought I was being too hasty.”

You looked up immediately, confused.

“What?”

“I thought I was being too hasty,” he repeated softer this time, almost laughing at himself. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

His eyes flickered down to your lips briefly before returning to your face.

“When all I wanted was to…”

Yongseung exhaled quietly, shaking his head a little. You had no idea how badly he wanted to kiss you… all those times.

Every hesitant gaze. Every little pause before good bye.

Even now, all he wanted was to kiss that little frown off your face until it disappeared completely.

If only he had known this was what had been bothering you.

Meanwhile your face burned hotter by the second.

Of course.

Of course he’d been thinking about your comfort the entire time while you were over here convincing yourself he didn’t want you.

You looked away, mortified, already opening your mouth to apologize.

Only for him to tug you gently back toward him.

Before you could say another word, his arm slid around your waist, pulling you close as he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours.

Everything in you stopped and then melted.

The kiss was everything you had imagined and somehow worse in the best possible way.

His lips were soft, warm against yours. Slow, but sure. There was no hesitation in him at all now.

Yongseung kissed like he did everything else, carefully, intentionally, like he was fully certain of what he wanted.

And right now, he wanted you.

Your fingers curled against his shirt as your heart pounded so hard you thought it might burst out of your chest entirely.

When he finally pulled back for air, you realized belatedly that you’d nearly forgotten to breathe.

Yongseung let out the softest laugh at the sight of your flushed face.

Your cheeks were pink, lips parted slightly, and there was the faintest pout forming now that he’d pulled away.

It hit him all at once then.

He would do anything for you. Anything just to see you smile.

His hands came up to cradle your face gently, thumbs brushing against your warm cheeks as he fought the urge to kiss you again immediately, long enough to speak.

“I like you,” he murmured softly, forehead resting against yours. “So much it’s actually killing me.”

The honesty in his voice made your stomach flip.

“If I’d known earlier…” he smiled quietly under his breath. “I wouldn’t have held back so long.”

Your face only grew warmer.

God, you had really been overthinking everything.

But the warmth blooming inside your chest now felt too overwhelming to care.

You were happy.

“Yongseung…”

The way you said his name nearly ruined him.

Soft. Breathless. Like it meant something precious.

He smiled helplessly.

“I’ll show you every day,” he whispered, gently squishing your cheeks between his hands, “just how much I like you.”

Then he leaned down again, kissing you once more while pulling you impossibly closer.

You couldn’t help giggling against his lips, the sound making his heart stumble embarrassingly hard as your arms wrapped around his neck.

“I’ll hold you to that promise,” you whispered back.

Chivalry wasn't dead after all.

...!

⋆˚࿔

When you returned at dusk, the forest should've welcomed you home. It always did.

Ancient trees always hung their branches in a reverence so silent, flowers bloomed wherever your footsteps landed.

But today everything felt distant and exhaustion clung to your soul like frost.

You hid it well, at least, you thought you did.

And when Gyehyeon greeted you at the door of your secluded cottage, he only smiled softly and reached for your hand. He didn't ask about the battle. Didn't question the way your movements were slower than usual. Stiff as if on guard.

But he watched and noticed like he always did. Sometimes you hated how easily he could read you.

"I'm fine."

It was a lie so terrible that you and even Gyehyeon knew. But still, he nodded. If you wanted to pretend, he'd let you.

You didn't even make it through the night.

The last thing you remembered was sitting beside the fireplace while Gyehyeon sorted herbs nearby.

Then darkness and then warmth, like energy spreading through your chest, through your veins, through every crevice, through wounds that shouldn't have been healing this quickly…

Your eyes snapped open, voice coming out rough. "Gyehyeon!"

But immediately you could feel it, his energy, a power flowing from his body into yours.

You grabbed his wrist hard, making the bluish glow flicker as he tensed up. Like he was caught doing something he shouldn't.

"...You're awake and…upset.."

You were. But not because of the injuries but because of him. Because he promised…

He always promised and always broke those promises whenever it involved you.

"You said you'd stop. I said I don't allow it." You muttered, voice quiet but not calm. You were angry.

His lowered his gaze. "I know."

"Then why are you doing this?"

He glanced up to meet your eyes, the answer to that coming instantly as though it was obvious. "You're hurt."

Your grip tightened, breath hitching. You couldn't believe him. "Gyehyeon."

"It doesn't matter."

"It does."

"It doesn't."

He insisted, the words leaving him more sharply than intended and for a moment silence filled the room.

He breathed out, his calm pretense breaking down and seeing that made your anger falter.

Because his eyes…they were terrified. Not of you. Never of you.

Of losing you.

"You weren't waking up."

His voice was quiet, barely audible like he was barely keeping it together. And he was.

"I called your name."

The light energy around his hands brightened again intensely despite your grip. "You weren't answering."

"Gyehyeon, stop..-"

A cough interrupted you.

A crimson stain spread across his lips, making your stomach dropped, the scent of blood immediately filled the room.

"Gyehyeon!"

Your voice cracked, reaching for his face instinctively even as he turned away slightly as if that would somehow hide it.

Another cough, more blood.

And suddenly your frustration gave way to fear. Terror.

You grabbed his face, ignoring his resistance, pulling him closer, forcing him to look at you.

His skin felt colder than before. Weaker.

"You exhausted yourself."

"I'm fine."

He always made you so furious.

"I'm fine," you mocked bitterly. “You're just a mere mortal… why do you always….” You trailed off, seeing his expression.

A faint smile was there on his face. He was smiling…like he'd somehow won.

Like seeing you awake made everything worth it. Even this. Especially this.

You hated it.

Hated how little he valued himself compared to you. As if his life weighed nothing. As if your existence alone justified every sacrifice.

"Why won't you ever listen to me?"

Your voice broke a little, painfully soft, something you had never allowed yourself to show before but everything about him made you act unlike yourself… You weren't supposed to…

Gyehyeon's expression softened because you sounded worried now.

And he loved when you worried.

It wasn't because he enjoyed your suffering but it reminded him that someone as untouchable as you cared.

"If something happened to you..." he whispered, trailing off, unable to finish, unable to imagine it.

You could and that terrified you.

The thought of him collapsing one day because he gave too much. The thought of his mortal lifespan shortening even further.

The thought of losing him….

No. You refused that.

Yet before you could speak, Gyehyeon leaned forward, his forehead touching yours.

A silent plea. He was nothing without his stubbornness.

"You're more important."

His words nearly made you angry enough to shake him.

Instead you pulled back, instead catching the back of his neck.

"Don't decide that for me."

His breath hitched slightly, expression faltering at the sudden movement. And that relieved you.

Because at that moment he finally looked fragile, like a mortal.

Like a human.

Like a healer who should have feared beings like you. A mortal who should have stayed away.

Yet years ago, during a winter so cold even rivers froze solid, he'd approached you without hesitation.

The feared spirit of the forest, the one people whispered about.

And he had simply smiled like he had already decided to like you. Despite all odds, despite all lines, all boundaries that should've never been crossed…

But he still found a way into your heart that you thought had long frozen over along with the terrain.

Or maybe he was the spring that came after…

What a ridiculous human.

An impossible human.

Your human….

You pushed him backward, with just enough force, protecting his head.

A surprised sound escaped him as his back hit the mattress.

You followed immediately, hovering over him. One hand planted beside his head.

And the other wiped away the blood lingering at the corner of his mouth before yours closed over his.

A metallic taste infiltrated your senses, mixed with a slight woody smell of holy basil and lavender, the smell of him…

He kissed back like you were the cure he needed and when you pulled back… You saw that his expression was softened and you hated it. That was the worst part.

How could he look so content?

Pinned beneath you, weakened, exhausted,

But still… he looked happier than ever.

Like this was exactly where he belonged, looking up at you as though his entire world began and ended with your existence. You couldn't believe him.

"You really are insane."

A quiet laugh escaped him. "You've told me that before."

"Many times."

"You'll probably tell me again."

You sighed, defeated. He was right.

Nothing would change, not his devotion, not your worry. Not the way he continued reaching for your hand despite trembling fingers.

And the way you intertwined them, holding tight… Like you wanted to anchor him here forever. With you. Forever.

The same hands capable of splitting mountains apart now trembling ever so slightly. Something in his chest tightened at that.

His eyes closed briefly, a quiet tenderness evident in his expression before he met your eyes again.

You looked at him the way people looked at dying stars as if the thought of losing him was unimaginable, hurting you….

And that feeling, an unbearably selfish feeling, made him happier than it should have.

Because Gyehyeon never feared death, he just feared the time he could no longer be beside you, the time where you would inevitably forget him in a few decades like he was just another season in your unending life.

But you, for the first time that night, fear surfaced in your chest. Not fear of enemies of fear of battle. Fear of time.

Of mortality. Of a future where his hand would no longer be warm.

He hated seeing you upset but still, there were just some things that's out of your reach no matter how powerful you were.

His thumb brushed gently across your knuckles. A quiet comfort. Meant for you. Yet he didn't speak on it and neither did you because that would only make it too real.

So instead, you remained silent.

His fingers curled weakly around yours and your free hand settled against his cheek in a quiet promise neither of you could fully keep.

Neither of you could fully surrender.

You would continue trying to protect him from himself. And Gyehyeon would continue spending every ounce of strength he possessed to protect you.

It was foolish, hopelessly so.

But again, neither of you had ever been particularly reasonable when it came to the other.

The future lingered at the edge of your thoughts like a distant storm neither of you wished to face. But tonight...

Tonight he was here beneath your touch and you were alive in his arms.

And for now, that would have to be enough.

⋆˚࿔

Kim Yongseung was a puzzle to you.

One that you hated.

At first, you were irritated by him, cold, unreadable, always carrying that faint, infuriating smirk like he knew something you didn’t. Like nothing about you could shake him.

But irritation, when left unchecked, rarely stayed what it was.

It twisted into curiosity. Then into something. Something that lingered longer than it should.

You knew better. You did. Someone like you, constantly watched, constantly judged, couldn’t afford mistakes like this.

One wrong move, one rumor, and everything you built could crumble.

And yet…

You were starting not to care.

So you tested him.

Small things at first, standing a little too close, brushing past him when there was more than enough space, letting your voice drop softer when you spoke to him. Watching. Waiting.

And you saw it.

The flicker.

The way his gaze lingered a second too long before snapping away. The subtle tightening of his grip at your waist when guiding you through crowds. The hesitation, so brief anyone else would miss it, every time you pushed just a little further.

He wasn’t unaffected.

And that only made you bolder.

But Yongseung…

He was stubborn. Controlled to a fault. A man who built walls not just to protect others, but himself.

And no matter how much you pushed, he stayed composed. Or at least, that’s what it looked like.

Which made doubt creep in.

Was it all in your head?

Were you imagining every glance, every almost-moment?

You needed to know. So you pushed harder.

Teasing turned…real. Your words lingered with intent now, not just playfulness.

You tested his limits openly, deliberately.

Even going so far as to use something you never cared about before, jealousy.

The club was loud, suffocating with heat and bodies, lights flashing just enough to blur everything into something straight from a dream.

You glanced at him from the corner of your eye as you pulled a stranger closer, someone whose name you hadn’t even bothered to remember.

Anything.

You were looking for anything.

A reaction. A sign that this wasn’t just you.

But Yongseung…

He didn’t move.

Didn’t react.

His face remained neutral, eyes scanning the room like always, like you were just another part of the environment he was assigned to monitor. Like none of this mattered.

How predictable.

You scoffed under your breath, irritation flaring, sharper than before.

The man beside you suddenly felt suffocating, his cologne too strong, his presence unwanted.

You pushed him away without a second thought, storming off toward the bar, frustration simmering just beneath your skin.

In the end, all you got out of it was your clothes ruined with a stranger’s scent.

Pathetic.

You grabbed the nearest glass of whisky off the table and downed it in one go, ignoring the startled protest from whoever it belonged to.

“Hey…!”

“Give me another…-”

Your voice came out sharper than intended as you reached for the bartender, fingers curling too tightly around the glass…-

Only to be stopped.

Firm hands wrapped around your wrists, pulling you back just enough to stop you from crossing yet another line.

Yongseung.

Of course.

“Ma’am…-”

“Leave me alone. Don’t touch me.”

You cut him off immediately, yanking your arms free and shoving at his chest, your glare sharp enough to cut.

The world tilted slightly as you stumbled, balance faltering…but he caught you before you could fall. He always did.

His grip was steady, careful despite the tension evident in the set of his jaw.

“You really…” he exhaled, something like frustration slipping through for once. “Just because you’re drunk doesn’t mean you can act like this.”

Stern. Controlled. Still trying to keep distance even while holding you together.

That restraint…

It only made something in you snap.

“Kiss me.”

The words left your mouth before you could take them back.

And his entire body froze.

“What…?”

For the first time, he faltered, truly faltered. His breath caught, eyes darting briefly around the room as if checking who might have heard, who might be watching, before settling back on you.

But you didn’t give him time to recover.

“Kiss me. Right now.”

Your hand tightened in his collar, pulling him closer until the space between you nearly disappeared.

Close enough to feel the shift in his breathing.

Close enough to see the crack in his composure.

Your gaze dropped, just for a second, to his lips and then back to his eyes. “I know you want to.”

“Ma’am…”

He exhaled like it was a warning, like if he kept his tone steady enough it’ll ground both of you.

His hands closed around your wrists, firm but careful as he pulled them away from his collar, putting space back where you keep trying to erase it.

“This isn’t… appropriate. Someone could…-”

Still reasoning. Still holding the line like it’s the only thing keeping him upright. Still logical.

God, he’s infuriating.

“Don’t you want me?”

The question slipped out soft but it landed heavy. The alcohol burned through your hesitation, stripping you down to something too honest, too exposed.

You tugged him closer again, stubborn even like this, your voice laced with something close to desperation.

“I know I want you. So why do you keep denying it?”

Your fingers tightened against him, like if you hold on hard enough, he won’t be able to slip back into that distance again.

“I know what you’re feeling.”

For a moment, just a moment,Yongseung stopped.

You’re still you. Fierce, relentless, refusing to back down.

But there’s something else now, something raw, something fragile beneath the fire that he’s never seen so clearly before.

And it did something to him.

Something he’s spent weeks, months, keeping buried.

“It’s not like that…”

He forced the words out, forcing himself back into place, tightening his grip just enough to stop you from pulling him in again.

“You’re drunk.”

Still avoiding it.

And you saw right through it.

“You’re still denying it…”

Your voice faltered, not loud, but enough. Your hand hit his chest, once, twice, no real strength behind it, more frustration than anger.

He didn’t stop you. Didn’t move. Just let you.

And then, tears. They come so suddenly it almost felt unfair.

“Am I so unlovable?”

It was quieter. Smaller. Like the question wasn’t meant to be heard at all.

Something in him broke at that.

His grip loosened, not letting go, just softening.

His gaze went to your face, something almost pained flashing through before he can hide it.

How could you even think that?

“I told you, that’s not it…” His voice dropped, less controlled now, less distant. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Liar…”

The word barely made it out before your strength gave way with it. Your hand slackened in his grasp, your body tipping forward before he caught you.

Still him. Always him..

And he exhaled, long and tired, like the weight of everything he’s been holding back finally pressed down on him.

“Idiot,” he muttered under his breath, but there’s no bite to it.

Just something soft.

He pulled you closer, arms steady as he lifted you, effortless, but felt different. Less like duty. More like something he shouldn’t let himself feel.

Because you didn’t know.

You didn’t know how hard he’s been holding himself back.

How every glance you gave him lingered longer than it should.

How your casual touches stayed on his skin long after you’ve pulled away.

How his jaw clenched when you leaned into someone else tonight, how for a split second, he almost forgot his place entirely.

He wanted to drag you away from that guy. He wanted to put distance between you and anyone else. Hell, he almost let himself punch that guy in the face…-

He sighed.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

But lately, he wasn't so sure what’s “supposed” to matter anymore….

By the time he got you back to your room, you’re barely conscious, your earlier fire reduced to soft breaths against his collar.

He set you down carefully on the bed, movements slow and gentle now.

Your heels came off first, then your makeup, his touch careful in a way that lingered just a little too long to be strictly professional.

Still he didn’t leave.

Even after the blanket is pulled up, even after everything that needed to be done is done, he stayed.

Standing there, looking at you.

His hand hovered over your face, hesitating like crossing that last inch would mean something he can’t take back.

Your words echoed in his mind

“Don’t you want me?”

His jaw tightened.

His thumb finally moved,just barely, brushing over the faint traces where your tears had dried.

And for the first time since this all started, he was sure.

...!

When you woke up, your mind was blank for a moment, like someone had wiped everything clean.

You blinked slowly, adjusting to the light as you pushed yourself up, your head throbbing just enough to remind you of last night. Not unbearable. Manageable.

You almost wished it wasn’t.

Because the moment clarity returned, it all came crashing back.

Your voice, your desperation. The way you’d looked at him.

His face.

A sharp gasp left you as your hands covered your face, heat rushing in all at once.

God. You felt sick.

You had begged. Practically begged.

And for what?

Something you were now convinced you’d imagined entirely. Every glance, every almost-touch, you must have built it all up in your head until it became something real. Something it never was.

“Pathetic…” you muttered under your breath, the word stinging more than it should.

The sound of the door opening made you freeze.

You looked up instinctively, only to snap your gaze away the second you saw him.

Your ears burned, your grip tightened against your blanket.

How were you supposed to face him now?

“You’re awake…”

Yongseung paused just inside the doorway, his eyes lingering on you, on the way you refused to look at him, before he forced himself to move again.

“…I got you hangover soup.”

You said nothing, keeping your gaze fixed anywhere but him as he approached, setting the package down on the bedside table with quiet care.

Silence stretched, until he broke it.

“About yesterday…-”

“Ah!”

You cut him off instantly with a shout, almost panicked, clapping your hands over your ears like that would somehow undo yesterday.

“I don’t remember anything!”

He paused then let out a quiet huff, something like amusement slipping through.

“You didn’t let me finish.”

His hand reached out, steady as ever, pulling yours away from your ears before you could protest.

You turned your face away again, unable to meet his eyes, embarrassment twisting with something heavier in your chest.

How long can you keep pretending?

“What’s there to finish…” Your voice dropped, quieter nowr. “You rejected me.”

“I begged like some desperate…-” your voice wavered despite yourself, your throat tightening as you tried to pull your hands free, “...-and you rejected me. And I cried.”

“Like some pathetic fool.”

His grip tightened, not enough to hurt, but enough to stop you from pulling away again.

“You’re not pathetic.”

The firmness in his voice made you pause, but you didn’t look at him.

Because if you did, you might break all over again.

“You don’t have to say that just because…-”

You didn’t get to finish.

Because suddenly, he moved, leaning forward. Not rushed nor careless but decisive.

His hand came up to your jaw, firm enough to stop you from turning away again, tilting your face toward him, and before your thoughts could catch up, before you could brace yourself…

His lips were on yours.

It wasn’t tentative but felt like restraint snapping.

Like something he had been holding back for far too long finally breaking through.

The force of it pushed you back onto the bed, your breath catching as the world tilted beneath you, his other hand bracing beside you, caging you in without hurting you, just enough to keep you there.

You froze, mind blank, your heart slamming against your ribs as the reality of it hit. This was real.

And then, you melted.

Your fingers curled into his shirt, pulling him closer without thinking, like you’d been waiting for this just as much as he had. His kiss deepened, not rushed but intense like he was making up for every moment he’d held back, every second he’d denied himself.

It left you breathless.

When he finally pulled back, it wasn’t far, his forehead nearly brushed yours, your breaths uneven, tangled together in the small space between you.

You stared at him, dazed.

“Yesterday…” your voice came out soft, shaky. “You said…”

“I won’t hide it anymore.”

His thumb brushed against your cheek, grounding, lingering, his voice low but certain.

“I did,” he admitted quietly. “I wanted to kiss you.”

Your chest tightened.

“Yesterday… when you asked.”

His jaw clenched slightly.

“But you were drunk.” His voice steadied again, deliberate now. “I needed you to be sober. To remember.”

His gaze locked onto yours, no distance.

“I wouldn’t have known what to do, if you forgot…,” His hand slid down to your waist.

“But now…”

He leaned in again, slower this time.

“I’m done holding back.”

And when he kissed you again, it was certain.

Still intense. Still consuming, but deliberate in a way that made your heart race all over again.

Like he’d made his choice.

And this time, he wasn’t letting go.

...!

...

You were running, the moment the palace maid whispered to you with a pained expression.

Back in the training grounds.

Him. Kangmin. Yoo Stupid Kangmin.

The same Kangmin who had been bedridden only two days ago, barely able to sit up without coughing blood.

“That lunatic...” you hissed under your breath, gathering your hanfu in your fists as you ran through the estate halls, heart pounding hard enough to bruise your ribs.

He really wanted to die. At this point, that was the only explanation.

By the time you reached the large wooden doors of the private grounds, your breathing had gone uneven.

But then you stopped, your eyes falling to the courtyard.

The plants, the flowers, every living thing around the perimeter had withered.

Shriveled. Dead. Like their life had been drained straight from the roots. Spiritual overflow. Again.

Your heart dropped to your stomach.

“Kangmin, you…-”

You shoved the doors open so hard they slammed against the wall.

“Yah! Yoo Kangmin! You crazy bastard! If you’re not dead, I’ll kill you myse…-”

The words died in your throat when you saw his figure.

Collapsed in the center of the stone grounds, body folded over itself as violent coughs wracked through him, blood splattering dark against pale stone.

“Kangmin!”

You were at his side before you could think, dropping to your knees beside him, your hands pressing against his back as his body trembled.

He was burning, not just warm but burning.

As if lightning had lodged itself beneath his skin.

Kangmin coughed again, exhausted from the force of it, and instinctively leaned into your shoulder, his weight sagging against you. Too heavy and too weak.

“Are you okay?” you breathed out, panic already clawing at your throat.

Your hands gripped his arms, and froze as you saw the marks. Lightning scars which were fresh, angry.

Thin silver fractures spread across his skin like cracked porcelain and the sight made your chest tighten so sharply it hurt.

A breakthrough…in this condition.

And for what?

You looked away, unable to bear the sight for more than a second, your sleeve trembling as you wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth.

He looked half-dead and yet he was still trying.

“I’m fine,” Kangmin muttered weakly. “Really.”

The lie broke something loose inside you, something you'd been holding back for so long.

“Fine?” you repeated, your voice starting to rise, your hands tightening around him.

“Why do you keep doing this? What’s the point?” Your voice trembled now, anger and fear tangling together so tightly you couldn’t tell them apart. “Your body can’t handle it!”

Kangmin lowered his gaze and you hated that look. That quiet acceptance. That shame… It all made you sick to your stomach.

“You’d be more useful if you just stopped!” you blurted, tears stinging before you even realized. “If you just stayed still for once instead of throwing your life away like this!”

Kangmin flinched at that, silence following your words, small, barely noticeable. But yet, it felt like a blade through your chest.

The moment the words left you, you wanted to tear them back.

His fingers curled weakly into his robes, head bowed like he’d heard those words before, too many times. And your anger shattered instantly.

You let go of him, your hands trembling. “…I’m sorry.”

The apology came out of your broken and quiet.

Kangmin was quiet for a long moment before shaking his head, a faint smile pulling at his bloodstained lips.

It was a terrible smile, both soft and sad as if he was trying to comfort you and that made it even worse.

“I just…” his voice was quiet, eyes staying on the ground. “I just want to get better.”

“One day.”

Your throat tightened because you understood. Of course you did and that was the cruelest part. That stupid, stubborn hope that kept dragging him back here.

Born with a heavenly core powerful enough to shake the skies, Kangmin was supposed to be everything. The future. The prophecy. The pride of his sect.

That’s what everyone said.

That’s what everyone believed. Even his parents.

But what good was divine power in a body too weak to bear it?

He always recovered slower, cultivated slower, bled more, broke more. Every breakthrough nearly took years off his life.

And when people noticed, they whispered, pitied, mocked. Called him a wasted blessing. A failed miracle.

An anomaly.

But you remembered every single one of them. And you remembered fighting every single one.

Even as children.

Even when you were nine, fists balled up, standing in front of him with scraped knees and furious tears, screaming at boys twice your size for calling him broken while he stood being you, bruised.

Back then, you had thought if you shouted loud enough, maybe the world would stop hurting him. It never did.

Kangmin remembered it too, remembered everything.

Every time you stood between him and the world. Every time you looked at him like he wasn’t something pitiful.

Like he was just... Kangmin.

Not his core. Not his failures. Just him.

And maybe that was why he loved you.

Somewhere between blood and years and broken bones. Because his life had never been easy.

It had been painful. Humiliating. Lonely. But somehow, you made it all better, easier.

Loving you was the easiest thing he had done in his life.

And he wanted to protect his love, protect you and slowly, you had become a part of his reasons. Because he had made himself a promise long ago.

That one day, no matter what it took, he would become strong enough to protect you.

But seeing you like this… He wondered if it was worth it.

Kangmin swallowed hard, his voice barely above a whisper. “I want to make them proud, make you proud."

The words tugged at something in your

“I want to be able to protect you…”

He muttered, quiet, helpless, close to breaking.

“I thought if I just kept trying harder... if I pushed far enough... eventually I’d become what they wanted. What I want to be…”

Tears welled up in your eyes. “Kangmin…”

“But I’m tired.”

That stopped you because he never said things like that.

His shoulders trembled but not from pain this time. “I’m so tired.”

His voice was so small it barely sounded like him. And your heart broke completely.

“For once...” he whispered, staring at the blood on his hands. “I wish I’d just been born normal.”

Without a word, you grabbed his hands and pulled him into you making his body stiffen in surprise first before softening.

You held him like if you loosened your grip even a little, he’d disappear forever.

“You idiot,” you choked out, fingers clutching the back of his robes. “I never wanted any of that."

“You think I care about your core? About prophecies? About what they expect?”

Your voice trembled with emotions, silencing him for once. “What use does it all have if you die because of it?! I don't care about it! I care if you’re alive!”

For the first time in a long time, Kangmin felt something inside him crack wider than his spiritual veins ever had.

Because all this time, he had pushed himself to become stronger, for everyone, for his own expectations.

To stand beside you without shame. To become someone worthy of loving you in his own standards.

But in your arms now, broken and bleeding and weak, you had never once asked him to be anything else.

And it was the one thing he feared most.

More than death, more than failure, more than even the heavens themselves.

You, hurting because of him.

Because if the heavens demanded his life for power,but power only made you grieve…

He wasn't sure he could stop but he'd try.

And maybe, just maybe he'd hate the heavens enough to defy them this time.

...

"Move out of my spot," Minchan sighs, towering over you as you sit hunched over your notes in the front row of the lecture hall.

"No, why should I?" you spit out, still looking down.

"Because it's my spot, didn't you hear me say that?" Minchan clarifies with a scoff.

"Oh just shut up. Is your name written on here anywhere?"

He sighs and chooses to sit behind you, accepting defeat for now.

"Can you and Minchan not just give it a rest for one day?" your friend asks you as they take the spot beside you.

"If he wasn't so annoying, then maybe I would be able to do that," you say, organizing your notes for today's lecture.

Minchan kicks the back of your leg with his foot after hearing your words, and you turn around, sighing.

"You're literally proving my point. Just stop," you say.

"You stop badmouthing me first then," Minchan says with a smirk.

"Okay, good morning everyone!" the professor says, causing you to turn back to the front so you can pay attention.

The lecture passes peacefully as the two of you focus. Sure, you have a deep rivalry, but you're both dedicated students who never mess around when a lecture begins.

It's only after it ends that Minchan gets on your nerves again.

You find it right in front of a vending machine, pressing the buttons to dispense a drink. After he steps away, you realize that he had bought your favourite drink, and you don't think much of it until you step up to also buy that drink... only to find there's no more left.

"Minchan, what the hell? You don't even like that flavour anyway, why did you have to take the last one?!" you yell, pointing at the drink in his hands.

He shrugs in response, unscrewing the cap.

"If you want it, you'll have to do something for me."

"And what's that?"

"Convince everyone that we're dating."

"Just for a drink?!" you exclaim.

"I'll have a lifetime supply for you. Anytime you want, just tell me and I'll buy you one."

"Minchan... have you lost it? You know I hate you, right? Why would I pretend to be your s/o?"

"Because people think I'm dating this stuck-up asshole and it's ruining my reputation."

"Why would me dating you fix anything?"

"Because you get good grades, [y/n]. Not as good as mine, but good enough. And I hate your guts, but everyone else seems to think you're alright."

You sigh, shaking your head at the boy.

"I'll give you the drink this once. You've got till tomorrow to think about it," he says, flashing you a smile before walking away.

Confused, the drink almost slips out of your hands as you shuffle to your dorm, feeling bewildered.

-

"So Minchan, your mortal enemy wants you to fake date him?" you friend asks you, sitting on your bed while watching you pace around.

"Yeah."

"That makes no sense."

"Right?!"

"And all you get out of it is a lifetime supply of your favourite drink?"

"Yeah! I mean, those drinks are expensive so..."

"No, [y/n]! Focus!" your friend tells you, holding onto your hands and shaking them.

"Right, right," you mumble.

Your friend suddenly claps their hands and you jump back in fright, swearing at them for scaring you.

"I've got it! Just tell him that you'll only do it if he stops being such a little shit to you."

"So... fake date him to stop our annoying rivalry?" you repeat.

Your friend nods and you step back to properly consider their words. It doesn't sound so bad, especially since your rivalry with Minchan kind of started out of nowhere anyway, and you've always been hoping you never met him so this stupid thing would stop.

-

You: hey! dumbass!

stinky min: ???

You: let's do it

stinky min: ??

You: the,,, thing

stinky min: well don't be shy now

stinky min: spit it out

You: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

stinky min: you want to date me?

You: fake* !!! FAKE date you yes

stinky min: ok

You: ugh i hate you

stinky min: :D

You: IT'S ONLY ON ONE CONDITION THO

stinky min: and that is?

You: we end this dumbass rivalry and you stop being so annoying

stinky min: sorry babe can't do that

You: okay then bye

stinky min: NO WAIT

stinky min: i was joking..

stinky min: fine..

stinky min: tomorrow for our first class,, you better come sit next to me when i wave to you

-

"[y/n]!" Minchan yells, waving at you frantically with a big smile on his face.

You sigh and cover your face with your hand as you compose yourself, wondering why you're doing this for a lifetime supply of drinks and for this stupid rivalry to be over. Then, you finally look up and nod in Minchan's direction, approaching his spot in front row. You slide into the seat he saved for you while gritting your teeth and whispering, "why are you sitting in my seat?"

"[y/n], I saved a seat for you in the front row! Since you always like to sit here," Minchan says, obnoxiously loudly.

"I can see that, dumbass," you whisper, still continuing to smile at him while gritting your teeth.

"[y/n], be a bit more natural, would you?" Minchan whispers, stretching an arm around you and pulling you close.

You almost fly off your seat as you hadn't expected him to do this, but stay put despite your heart thumping heavily in your chest. When he leans his head on your shoulder, you have to do everything not to punch him.

"Your heart's beating so fast, my dear," Minchan mumbles.

"Are they dating?" someone whispers in the row behind you.

Murmurs begin to rise and Minchan smirks the whole time, his head still on your shoulder. His hair feels strangely fluffy and soft against your neck.

When the lecture begins, Minchan sits up straight but listens to the whole lecture with his hand around your waist. All of this skinship makes you dizzy and angry, and by the time the lecture is over, you've pulled Minchan aside to have a word with him.

"Minchan, if you're doing to do things like this, then I want out."

"What do you mean, babe?" he says, reaching forwards to push your hair back with his fingertips.

You catch his hand with yours, holding it there.

"This is what I mean," you say, pointing to his hand sitting on your head.

"Well we're dating, aren't we? Isn't it natural to show some skinship?"

"Minchan, firstly this isn't even real. Secondly, skinship isn't a required thing or anything. So just... chill out, okay?"

Minchan leans forward until his lips are right next to your ear.

"Why, is it cause I make your heart rate increase?"

"No!" you yell, pushing him a way.

A couple of students see this and speed walk away, whispering amongst themselves while staring at you.

"Okay, [y/n], calm down. I'll go easy on you, I promise. Have this drink and I'll see you later," he says, holding out your favourite drink.

"When did you even buy this?" you ask, taking it from him.

"Be there at the party tonight, okay?" he tells you while walking away.

What party? you wonder, until you check your phone. Someone has posted in your class about a party happening in Minchan's dorm building.

Sighing, you start to write a text to Minchan asking him why you have to attend a dumb party when you don't like parties anyway, but he messages you first.

stinky min: going to the party will be a great place to show everyone we're dating. and finally stop people talking behind my back... so be there, okay?

stinky min: and about the skinship.. i'm sorry. i'll genuinely stop. but at least you only have to see me a couple times during the day! it's not like we're in the same dorm or anything..

-

After getting your studying and classes done for the day, you head to Minchan's dorm building, which is already flooded with people.

"How isn't anyone getting in trouble for this?" you mumble, looking at the people scattered across the hallways with drinks in their hands, socializing.

You weave through the people, searching for Minchan.

"Hey! Looking for your... boyfriend?" a familiar voice asks you, taking hold of your arm.

You turn around to see your friend, looking lovely as ever.

"Yeah... seen him anywhere?" you ask.

They point upstairs while saying, "he's in his room, 204, waiting for you."

"Alright, I'll see you around then!"

"Don't have too much fun," your friend says with a wink.

Fun? This is not fun at all, you sigh, trudging upstairs and pushing past people to find room 204.

When you finally find it, you're surprised to see it's the only room with the door closed. You knock and the door knob quickly turns, revealing a very.... annoyingly attractive Minchan, with his hair parted comma style, wearing a white tee and a blue jean jacket.

"[y/n], you came! Come in, the real party's in here," he says, inviting you inside.

You walk in to find his TV showing a game he was playing, and he sits down to continue.

You throw him a confused look, but he just stares back at you.

"What? I know you didn't wanna be there, so let's at least have some fun before we have to go out there," he tells you, patting the spot on the ground next to him.

"Wow, Minchan. This is actually the kindest thing you've done for me," you reply, sitting next to him and taking the controller he's offering you.

After absolutely destroying Minchan in the game he thought he was the best at (what a reality check for him!) the two of you stand up and take a few deep breaths before stepping out into the hallway.

"Hey, you owe me something for beating you," you say before Minchan opens the door.

"Oh, shut up," he says, but with a smile.

As soon as he opens the door, people start to greet him. It isn't surprising, since he is just a bit of a popular guy. Okay, maybe more than a bit, but you don't want to admit that.

Many people ask Minchan if he broke up with Jennifer, the stuck-up asshole that he had been telling you people thought he was dating, and Minchan clarifies each time, with a bright grin, that they were never dating, but that it's only ever been him and you.

Everyone seems to find this so cute, but you almost vomit on the spot. Who would've known that Minchan could be so cringey?

Feeling tired after socializing with so many people, the two of you find your own space to stand in one another's company for a second.

"So, how does it feel, Minchan?" you ask him.

"To be dating you?" he asks back, a cheeky grin on his face.

You hiss at him and shake your head.

"No! To be rid of that dumb rumour about you and Jennifer."

"Ah, it feels good! Thanks, [y/n]. Do you want me to go grab your favourite drink for you? The vending machine here has it."

You take a second before agreeing, telling yourself that you deserve it after having role played for so long.

A few moments after Minchan leaves, the somewhat loud music that had been blasting this whole time stops, and someone starts yelling from up the stairs.

"GUYS, THERE'S BEEN A FLOOD AND IT'S SUPER BAD. IT'S SPREADING TO ALL THE HALLWAYS SO WE NEED TO LEAVE NOW!" he shouts.

Even from down there you can notice water pooling around his feet from where he stands near the stairs, and water trickling down the steps, too.

Some people immediately rush out, but you search around for Minchan for some time, wondering why he's taking so long. Then, the flood starts getting really bad, rushing down the stairs and beginning to approach you.

You start speedwalking towards the door, not even stopping when someone grabs your arm.

"[y/n]! You waited for me?" the person asks.

You turn to find Minchan with his pants soaked up to his knees and holding your favourite drink while panting.

"No. Maybe. Anyways, let's go!" you say, dragging him out with you.

That whole night, no one gets any sleep as the campus' staff decide what to do with all the students who won't have a place to sleep. It's only at 4am that they decide on a solution: to send everyone from Minchan's dorm into your dorm, because yours is the one with the most vacant spots.

And as if by the worst luck on this planet, Minchan just has to be placed right. In your. Room.

He trails in at 4:32am, shyly following you inside and acting very differently from his usual arrogant state.

"So this is where you sleep, huh [y/n]?" he quietly asks, looking at your bed.

"Yeah, of course. This is my dorm, what would you expect? That bed on the other side is vacant, so you can sleep there. If you need anything, just go grab it. But if you can't find it or need help, you can wake me up, it's honestly fine," you explain, grabbing your clothes so you can get changed in the bathroom

Minchan stops you.

"No, [y/n], it's fine! I'll change in the bathroom. You change here and tell me when you're done."

You shrug and nod, accepting his offer.

Once you're both changed, you decide to just sleep, because by now it's 5am and you both have class in a little over 3 hours. But you're unable to sleep with the presence of another person in your usually empty room, and you notice Minchan rustling around in his bed, too.

"Having trouble sleeping?" you whisper, not wanting to wake him in case he's actually asleep.

"Yeah..." Minchan says with a sigh.

"Let me just turn on the light, cause I can't sleep either-"

"No! It's better like this." Minchan says, interrupting you as you begin to leave your bed.

You fall back on it, sitting on the edge.

"Anything... I can do to help you sleep?" you ask him, feeling weird that you're being so nice to someone who was your enemy not too long ago.

"Do you wanna cook something?" Minchan asks you after a long silence.

"Cook? Now?"

"We didn't eat," Minchan points out, making you laugh.

"I guess you're right!" you say, standing up to turn on the light.

With whatever random ingredients you have, Minchan helps direct you in making a meal, carefully teaching you how to cut the vegetables and how to fry things correctly. He always gets real close when he does this, but never touches you since he thinks you wouldn't like that. You notice this and appreciate it.

At one point, Minchan asks you to lean in close to the stove to look at the texture of the food. You lean in and place your head practically next to his.

"See how it's this colour and is a lot softer? That means it's done!"

Minchan turns to you after he says this, and this might sound crazy, but your faces are so close to each other that Minchan's lips literally graze yours when he turns to you.

He immediately jumps back and apologizes, laughing slightly for his stupid mistake while covering his mouth with his hand. You, on the other hand, feel mortified and hold your lips with your fingers, wondering if they haven't fallen off or anything, because for some reason, they feel like they're buzzing.

"Wait, [y/n], why is your hair... turning white?" Minchan asks, pointing to your hair.

You notice a strand of white in Minchan's hair too, and you also point up to it. Reaching out to touch each other's white strands, the two of you seem to realize at the same time.

"Ah... so it's you? You're my soulmate?" Minchan asks, his cheeks clearly tainted red.

"I guess so... Damn, that wasn't even a real kiss but it was enough to turn our hair white!"

The two of you remain speechless for a few moments.

"So I'm really soulmates with my enemy?" you ask, groaning.

"Hey, I guess we have to learn to love each other now," Minchan says, puckering his lips and fake-kissing the air.

You push his face away and run off towards your bed, leaving Minchan chasing you around your room while the two of you laugh loudly. Thankfully you don't get any noise complaints, but running around at 6am leaves the two of you running on an all-nighter for your first class.

As the two of you practically fall asleep on each other for the whole class, everyone giggles at your sleepy states, but most importantly, gawks at the white strands in your hair.