#verivery angst

Kim Yongseung was a puzzle to you.

One that you hated.

At first, you were irritated by him, cold, unreadable, always carrying that faint, infuriating smirk like he knew something you didn’t. Like nothing about you could shake him.

But irritation, when left unchecked, rarely stayed what it was.

It twisted into curiosity. Then into something. Something that lingered longer than it should.

You knew better. You did. Someone like you, constantly watched, constantly judged, couldn’t afford mistakes like this.

One wrong move, one rumor, and everything you built could crumble.

And yet…

You were starting not to care.

So you tested him.

Small things at first, standing a little too close, brushing past him when there was more than enough space, letting your voice drop softer when you spoke to him. Watching. Waiting.

And you saw it.

The flicker.

The way his gaze lingered a second too long before snapping away. The subtle tightening of his grip at your waist when guiding you through crowds. The hesitation, so brief anyone else would miss it, every time you pushed just a little further.

He wasn’t unaffected.

And that only made you bolder.

But Yongseung…

He was stubborn. Controlled to a fault. A man who built walls not just to protect others, but himself.

And no matter how much you pushed, he stayed composed. Or at least, that’s what it looked like.

Which made doubt creep in.

Was it all in your head?

Were you imagining every glance, every almost-moment?

You needed to know. So you pushed harder.

Teasing turned…real. Your words lingered with intent now, not just playfulness.

You tested his limits openly, deliberately.

Even going so far as to use something you never cared about before, jealousy.

The club was loud, suffocating with heat and bodies, lights flashing just enough to blur everything into something straight from a dream.

You glanced at him from the corner of your eye as you pulled a stranger closer, someone whose name you hadn’t even bothered to remember.

Anything.

You were looking for anything.

A reaction. A sign that this wasn’t just you.

But Yongseung…

He didn’t move.

Didn’t react.

His face remained neutral, eyes scanning the room like always, like you were just another part of the environment he was assigned to monitor. Like none of this mattered.

How predictable.

You scoffed under your breath, irritation flaring, sharper than before.

The man beside you suddenly felt suffocating, his cologne too strong, his presence unwanted.

You pushed him away without a second thought, storming off toward the bar, frustration simmering just beneath your skin.

In the end, all you got out of it was your clothes ruined with a stranger’s scent.

Pathetic.

You grabbed the nearest glass of whisky off the table and downed it in one go, ignoring the startled protest from whoever it belonged to.

“Hey…!”

“Give me another…-”

Your voice came out sharper than intended as you reached for the bartender, fingers curling too tightly around the glass…-

Only to be stopped.

Firm hands wrapped around your wrists, pulling you back just enough to stop you from crossing yet another line.

Yongseung.

Of course.

“Ma’am…-”

“Leave me alone. Don’t touch me.”

You cut him off immediately, yanking your arms free and shoving at his chest, your glare sharp enough to cut.

The world tilted slightly as you stumbled, balance faltering…but he caught you before you could fall. He always did.

His grip was steady, careful despite the tension evident in the set of his jaw.

“You really…” he exhaled, something like frustration slipping through for once. “Just because you’re drunk doesn’t mean you can act like this.”

Stern. Controlled. Still trying to keep distance even while holding you together.

That restraint…

It only made something in you snap.

“Kiss me.”

The words left your mouth before you could take them back.

And his entire body froze.

“What…?”

For the first time, he faltered, truly faltered. His breath caught, eyes darting briefly around the room as if checking who might have heard, who might be watching, before settling back on you.

But you didn’t give him time to recover.

“Kiss me. Right now.”

Your hand tightened in his collar, pulling him closer until the space between you nearly disappeared.

Close enough to feel the shift in his breathing.

Close enough to see the crack in his composure.

Your gaze dropped, just for a second, to his lips and then back to his eyes. “I know you want to.”

“Ma’am…”

He exhaled like it was a warning, like if he kept his tone steady enough it’ll ground both of you.

His hands closed around your wrists, firm but careful as he pulled them away from his collar, putting space back where you keep trying to erase it.

“This isn’t… appropriate. Someone could…-”

Still reasoning. Still holding the line like it’s the only thing keeping him upright. Still logical.

God, he’s infuriating.

“Don’t you want me?”

The question slipped out soft but it landed heavy. The alcohol burned through your hesitation, stripping you down to something too honest, too exposed.

You tugged him closer again, stubborn even like this, your voice laced with something close to desperation.

“I know I want you. So why do you keep denying it?”

Your fingers tightened against him, like if you hold on hard enough, he won’t be able to slip back into that distance again.

“I know what you’re feeling.”

For a moment, just a moment,Yongseung stopped.

You’re still you. Fierce, relentless, refusing to back down.

But there’s something else now, something raw, something fragile beneath the fire that he’s never seen so clearly before.

And it did something to him.

Something he’s spent weeks, months, keeping buried.

“It’s not like that…”

He forced the words out, forcing himself back into place, tightening his grip just enough to stop you from pulling him in again.

“You’re drunk.”

Still avoiding it.

And you saw right through it.

“You’re still denying it…”

Your voice faltered, not loud, but enough. Your hand hit his chest, once, twice, no real strength behind it, more frustration than anger.

He didn’t stop you. Didn’t move. Just let you.

And then, tears. They come so suddenly it almost felt unfair.

“Am I so unlovable?”

It was quieter. Smaller. Like the question wasn’t meant to be heard at all.

Something in him broke at that.

His grip loosened, not letting go, just softening.

His gaze went to your face, something almost pained flashing through before he can hide it.

How could you even think that?

“I told you, that’s not it…” His voice dropped, less controlled now, less distant. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Liar…”

The word barely made it out before your strength gave way with it. Your hand slackened in his grasp, your body tipping forward before he caught you.

Still him. Always him..

And he exhaled, long and tired, like the weight of everything he’s been holding back finally pressed down on him.

“Idiot,” he muttered under his breath, but there’s no bite to it.

Just something soft.

He pulled you closer, arms steady as he lifted you, effortless, but felt different. Less like duty. More like something he shouldn’t let himself feel.

Because you didn’t know.

You didn’t know how hard he’s been holding himself back.

How every glance you gave him lingered longer than it should.

How your casual touches stayed on his skin long after you’ve pulled away.

How his jaw clenched when you leaned into someone else tonight, how for a split second, he almost forgot his place entirely.

He wanted to drag you away from that guy. He wanted to put distance between you and anyone else. Hell, he almost let himself punch that guy in the face…-

He sighed.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

But lately, he wasn't so sure what’s “supposed” to matter anymore….

By the time he got you back to your room, you’re barely conscious, your earlier fire reduced to soft breaths against his collar.

He set you down carefully on the bed, movements slow and gentle now.

Your heels came off first, then your makeup, his touch careful in a way that lingered just a little too long to be strictly professional.

Still he didn’t leave.

Even after the blanket is pulled up, even after everything that needed to be done is done, he stayed.

Standing there, looking at you.

His hand hovered over your face, hesitating like crossing that last inch would mean something he can’t take back.

Your words echoed in his mind

“Don’t you want me?”

His jaw tightened.

His thumb finally moved,just barely, brushing over the faint traces where your tears had dried.

And for the first time since this all started, he was sure.

...!

When you woke up, your mind was blank for a moment, like someone had wiped everything clean.

You blinked slowly, adjusting to the light as you pushed yourself up, your head throbbing just enough to remind you of last night. Not unbearable. Manageable.

You almost wished it wasn’t.

Because the moment clarity returned, it all came crashing back.

Your voice, your desperation. The way you’d looked at him.

His face.

A sharp gasp left you as your hands covered your face, heat rushing in all at once.

God. You felt sick.

You had begged. Practically begged.

And for what?

Something you were now convinced you’d imagined entirely. Every glance, every almost-touch, you must have built it all up in your head until it became something real. Something it never was.

“Pathetic…” you muttered under your breath, the word stinging more than it should.

The sound of the door opening made you freeze.

You looked up instinctively, only to snap your gaze away the second you saw him.

Your ears burned, your grip tightened against your blanket.

How were you supposed to face him now?

“You’re awake…”

Yongseung paused just inside the doorway, his eyes lingering on you, on the way you refused to look at him, before he forced himself to move again.

“…I got you hangover soup.”

You said nothing, keeping your gaze fixed anywhere but him as he approached, setting the package down on the bedside table with quiet care.

Silence stretched, until he broke it.

“About yesterday…-”

“Ah!”

You cut him off instantly with a shout, almost panicked, clapping your hands over your ears like that would somehow undo yesterday.

“I don’t remember anything!”

He paused then let out a quiet huff, something like amusement slipping through.

“You didn’t let me finish.”

His hand reached out, steady as ever, pulling yours away from your ears before you could protest.

You turned your face away again, unable to meet his eyes, embarrassment twisting with something heavier in your chest.

How long can you keep pretending?

“What’s there to finish…” Your voice dropped, quieter nowr. “You rejected me.”

“I begged like some desperate…-” your voice wavered despite yourself, your throat tightening as you tried to pull your hands free, “...-and you rejected me. And I cried.”

“Like some pathetic fool.”

His grip tightened, not enough to hurt, but enough to stop you from pulling away again.

“You’re not pathetic.”

The firmness in his voice made you pause, but you didn’t look at him.

Because if you did, you might break all over again.

“You don’t have to say that just because…-”

You didn’t get to finish.

Because suddenly, he moved, leaning forward. Not rushed nor careless but decisive.

His hand came up to your jaw, firm enough to stop you from turning away again, tilting your face toward him, and before your thoughts could catch up, before you could brace yourself…

His lips were on yours.

It wasn’t tentative but felt like restraint snapping.

Like something he had been holding back for far too long finally breaking through.

The force of it pushed you back onto the bed, your breath catching as the world tilted beneath you, his other hand bracing beside you, caging you in without hurting you, just enough to keep you there.

You froze, mind blank, your heart slamming against your ribs as the reality of it hit. This was real.

And then, you melted.

Your fingers curled into his shirt, pulling him closer without thinking, like you’d been waiting for this just as much as he had. His kiss deepened, not rushed but intense like he was making up for every moment he’d held back, every second he’d denied himself.

It left you breathless.

When he finally pulled back, it wasn’t far, his forehead nearly brushed yours, your breaths uneven, tangled together in the small space between you.

You stared at him, dazed.

“Yesterday…” your voice came out soft, shaky. “You said…”

“I won’t hide it anymore.”

His thumb brushed against your cheek, grounding, lingering, his voice low but certain.

“I did,” he admitted quietly. “I wanted to kiss you.”

Your chest tightened.

“Yesterday… when you asked.”

His jaw clenched slightly.

“But you were drunk.” His voice steadied again, deliberate now. “I needed you to be sober. To remember.”

His gaze locked onto yours, no distance.

“I wouldn’t have known what to do, if you forgot…,” His hand slid down to your waist.

“But now…”

He leaned in again, slower this time.

“I’m done holding back.”

And when he kissed you again, it was certain.

Still intense. Still consuming, but deliberate in a way that made your heart race all over again.

Like he’d made his choice.

And this time, he wasn’t letting go.

...!

The sorrow washes over him before he can stop it. This isn't the life he had hoped for you—nor what he had promised you all those years ago. The guilt has honed in on him, ripping him apart piece by piece over the years. He never wanted you to have to fight—not like he did. He never wanted you forced into the same system he was years ago. For years he's been working towards a way out for both of you. He remembers the time it was within his grasp, right before being ripped away again.

"I didn't expect you'd be able to find me this quickly. I didn't do much to cover up my tracks, but you knew I'd be sent up here tonight, didn't you?"

"You expect me to thank you for leaving just enough clues to track you down? If you're fishing for gratitude, you won't get any from me," you quip back quickly, leaving no room for friendly greetings. Your voice comes out cold, but the familiarity of it nearly knocks Yongseung off his feet. You sound angry, incredulous, betrayed; and he knows you have every right to be. In your mind and his, he was the one that failed you three years ago.

That night still haunts his every waking moment. Even though the scars have faded with time, he knows they may never fully heal. Three years have passed, yet Yongseung still hasn't forgiven himself. How could he? He lost everything that night. And if he can't even bear to forgive and forget, how could he ever expect you to?

"I haven't earned your gratitude, so I cannot blame you for withholding it from me. You have every right to want to hunt me down," Yongseung replies, biting back the softness in his tone. The words that come out are calculated and unfeeling, matching the tension in the air, but underneath it all is hesitance. He doesn't know where you stand with him right now, and he feels the need to be cautious.

You are dressed as his enemy, but your past is something he could never forget. You can almost hear the phrase he doesn't dare utter—how the movement of his throat hints at asking you if he still means something to you. But he opts for something more subtle, and you convince yourself you're just making it up.

"Why are you here tonight, Y/n?"

The sound of your name on his lips sends your mind soaring through memories. Every possible emotion a human can render has been felt with your name. Yongseung has said it in surprise, in want, in frustration, in happiness, in fear. He's teased you with it, whispered it in the most intimate moments, practically worshiped the sound of it. But tonight he says it like it means nothing to him; like you really are nothing but a memory of his past. One that he would like to forget.

The mission was high stakes. The margin for error was practically nonexistent. One wrong step and it would all go up in flames. Had things gone as planned, it would have been Yongseung's final task for Onyx. He would have graduated and been able to take you with him. Build a life free of risk and danger.

Sneak in, disarm any threats, tranquilize the guards, and obtain their ringleader as hostage before anyone noticed. The mission consisted of simple steps his team had done a hundred times before. You were sure it would end just like any other, and that the next morning you'd both get the freedom you had longed for. But you also remember how he told you he was nervous. You thought he meant nervous for the future, but whenever you think back to it, you realize it was something else entirely.

Yongseung doesn't get nervous. Not for missions. Not for something he could do with his eyes closed. His body knew something would go wrong.

Yongseung remembers the heat of that burning building like it was yesterday. You were beside him, disarming the security system. You were so close he could reach out and touch you. You were right beside him. You were safe.

The alarm that sounded that night had barely touched his ears in the moment. His senses were sent into panic over the sentence that had been transmitted. He had hoped and prayed that his ears had somehow heard it wrong over the muffled in-ear piece. His eyes frantically scanned the smoky room until his suspicions were confirmed. You weren't beside him anymore.

Like a nightmare, he still remembers how the flames caused beads of sweat to gather on his forehead and how the smoke filled his lungs. How he watched them drag you away. Someone had a rough hand over your mouth, silencing any noise you might have let out, and Yongseung was powerless to do anything. Your eyes held pure fear as you grasped the reality of the situation, but also an unmistakable glint of betrayal. Yongseung will never forget that look.

He promised he would protect you. He swore that nothing would happen as long as he was beside you. Yet it was his mistake that cost your safety that night. For a mission like that, Yongseung hadn't counted on the possibility of losing team members. He hadn't considered that Silk Snow was tracking his missions, even ones that didn't cross paths with them. They were waiting for the perfect moment to strike, and when they chose to intervene, they didn't go for him, but for the person holding him together.

They had been hunting for his weak spot for years, crafting a plan that wouldn't just bruise his ego, but shatter his psyche. Ever since Yongseung destroyed one of their bases years ago, killing half their men, Silk Snow has never forgotten his face. He shouldn't have let them even catch mention of your name. Of course they would use you to derail his most important mission in the cruelest way possible. He didn't just lose his renown as a fighter, his status, and his hopes for a safe future that night. He lost you.

He lost you to the other side.

You look good in the enemy uniform, despite its stark reminder of that night. Yongseung silently chastises himself for allowing that to be one of his first thoughts, but he can't stop his eyes from drinking in every inch of you like he's been starved. Silk Snow's armour hugs your figure in all the right spots, but more than it being flattering, you wear it like you've earned it. You may have come in as a hostage, but you built yourself up from there. Your worth was once only considered a useless trophy signifying a decisive victory. No one expected you to be useful. You were only needed for temporary leverage and for a reminder of shame. But that is not how you stayed for long.

You remember those first few weeks in the enemy base. They never let you starve, but your body was still put in survival mode. The fear shook you to your core. If being by Yongseung's side was everything warm and sweet and comforting, then this was the reverse. It felt like one wrong move would end your life in an instant.

You knew Yongseung would come back for you. You knew that somehow he would find a way to save both of you. He wouldn't just let you be taken away into Silk Snow's hands. They needed to use you to lure him there, but he would always be two steps ahead. Your Yongseung would always find a way.

But days turned into weeks.

He never came.

It wasn't long before they started testing your skills, and quickly found out you could do much more than your reputation suggested. You weren't a mere strategist for Onyx. You could hold your own in a fight easily. You could take down five men at once without so much as a tremble in your breath. You started training again a fortnight after your kidnapping, betrayal simmering in your chest. They made it abundantly clear. You would fight for them, or you would die. And they wasted no expense in reminding you that everything was his fault.

You did what you had to. You did what you knew Yongseung would want you to—what he would also choose if he were in your place. Survival was most important. Ensuring a future mattered more than what side you were fighting for.

Everything felt harsher at Silk Snow than it did back home at Onyx. Although both alliances were running similar operations, you could tell these men were desperate. Yongseung had the luxury to quit once he'd reached his job quota, but the ranks here would be stuck for years. Every mission was life or death for them.

You promised yourself you wouldn't let yourself get that desperate. You may have become a stranger in enemy territory, but you knew how to make them trust you—need you. And your inside knowledge of Onyx's operations proved indispensable. You have always been a planner. Perhaps you plan things too well. You plan even for scenarios that would never happened. You've planned for this scenario the longest.

You knew exactly how Yongseung would look at you, seeing you again for the first time in months. You knew that he'd catch onto your plans without you having to say anything; that he'd realize you had been following him months before you wanted him to know. You knew that he would still ask you what you were going to do, and that it would be a cover up for a different question. One that felt much more pressing… to both of you.

"Why are you here tonight, Y/n?"

"You know why, Yongseung," you respond, tossing his name out with more repulse than you feel. God, how many nights have you spent repeating it in your head, sometimes even saying it out loud, as if it would make him come back to you? And you knew it would always be a worthless thing to try, but it still made you feel just a little bit better. It always made you twice as determined. Even if Silk Snow was who you fought for, Yongseung was the one you lived for.

"I want you to say it," he says. You watch his grip on his gun loosen and then tighten again. He raises the arm that holds it, points it at you. Well, not really. You can tell the gun isn't targeted entirely on you. If he shoots right now, the bullet would miss you entirely—flying past your shoulder and ricocheting off the wall behind you. But you'll pretend to feel his empty threat. You raise your own sword, knowing you don't have the strength to strike him.

"I came here to ask you a question. And to get an answer."

Yongseung seems to falter for a moment. His eyes are begging you to say more. Ask. Ask me anything. I'll tell you everything.

You continue. "Why didn't you come back? Why did you let this happen?"

You punctuate every word with harsh reality. Yongseung shivers at your stare. It feels like you can see right through him; uncovering every imperfection and insecurity he's hidden away. It feels like you're judging him and are sickened by what you find. It's also far more attractive than he wants to admit. He has to search for an answer for you, though, so he forces his brain to start running again.

"I…" he seems to start to say something before deciding better of it. His next words come out unfaithfully. "You know Onyx's procedures as well as I do. Mission objectives trump everything else. They didn't want personal matters interfering with alliance goals, and Silk Snow's defenses are too strong. Handing myself over would be a death wish, and I'd never make it back out if I decided to sneak in. So… there was no other option. I've stopped thinking about the past now. The future is the only thing that matters."

You hate that answer. God, you hate it. You hate how you know he's lying to your face, and despite your history, you have to stand here across from him and point your sword like you actually want to kill him. And he believes it.

"The future? Who's future?" you ask in angry disbelief. "You already gave up on ours."

You expect that it'll get a reaction out of him, but you're dissatisfied with the one you get. His jaw tightens and his eyelids flutter as he recollects himself. Then he's back to being stone-faced and steady, unwavering even under your stare.

"We're both here on orders. What's the point in useless discus—"

"I waited," you cut him off. "I waited for you to come. I waited for weeks. They tried to get answers from me, but I wouldn't tell them anything. They asked me about your plans. They wanted to know what your weakness was—how to kill you. I could have told them. I could have killed you three years ago. Instead, I waited, and I planned."

You take a stride forward. Yongseung seems stunned to his spot, unable to move. His gun falls to his side. He won't even pretend to aim it anymore. He can only stare as you and your sword draw nearer.

"I spent years earning their trust. Silk Snow is… incredibly stupid. They never doubted me. Not once. I told them I hated you, that you betrayed me, that I wanted nothing more than to get my revenge, and they ate up my story like starving dogs. I was just telling them what they wanted to hear, after all. But I didn't know it would be so persuasive, so convincing, that it wouldn't just fool Silk Snow… it would fool you too."

You step in front of him, sword drawn at his neck. He breathes slowly; a man resigned to his fate. No resistance. Not even an attempt at bargaining. Just pure acceptance.

"You didn't tell me the truth the first time, so let me ask you again, Yongseung," you whisper. "Why didn't you come back?"

"I broke my promise," he breathes. Your sword slightly grazes his skin, drawing a line of blood. You're close to him. So close. Your breath fans his cheek with every exhale, and his brain shuts down when he gets a faint trace of your perfume. You still smell exactly how he remembers. "I was scared, and… I hated myself for it. I convinced myself you hated me too."

"I told you that I would keep you safe," he continues. "That as long as you were by my side, nothing would happen to you. No one would touch you. When we found each other in Onyx, I swore I would give you a way out. I promised we could have a life together away from all of it. But…"

You watch his act crumble before your eyes. His attempts to stay strong and objectively carry out his mission are long forgotten. He stares at you, and as he searches your features, he finds that your walls have also fallen. You got the answer you wanted out of him, and now, you can't bring yourself to keep up with everything else. The deception, the act, the pretend mission you've kept up for years—that you want to kill him—it's all lies you're ready to let go of.

A tear slips down his cheek as you drop your sword. He had been trying to hold it back but failed at his own confession. It's been too long, and he knew he wouldn't be able to last twenty minutes in the same room with you without becoming overwhelmed. How you look at him is the same. How your expression softens the moment you see his tears is the same. You wear the enemy uniform, wield a weapon made to hurt him, swore your mission was revenge, yet you planned for it all to come crashing down at this moment because how you love him is the same.

You reach out, soft, almost scared. It's been three years since you've felt Yongseung's skin under your fingers. Three years since you kissed away his worries and promised him that no matter what, you'd always be by his side. He seems to have forgotten those promises you made, also broken over time. Your thumb brushes away the tear that escaped him. He closes his eyes and lets his shoulders fall. It feels like coming home.

He can't count how many nights he's spent trying to remember what it felt like to be held by you. He could never quite bring himself to imagine it. The thought of you alone, taken away by Silk Snow kept him from that comfort. He blamed himself for not protecting you better. How could he ever let himself enjoy the memories from before then? They only fed his growing guilt, and for three years, he's done nothing to try to stop the cycle.

The simple action of your thumb brushing over his cheek, catching the salty tear as it passes by, forces him out of the pattern he's been drowning in. He leans into your hand, his body craving what his mind never dared to. Like a rubber-band snapping, he sobs and comes undone completely, slumping against you. You catch him by the waist, keeping him upright, and guide his head to rest against your shoulder. His tears soak through the pristine white of your uniform.

You know the truth of what the last three years were like for Yongseung. You've been watching him, just as he's been keeping tabs on you whenever he can. You know every mission he's been sent on. You know that he's tried to bury the past by taking on more dangerous jobs, hoping to convince himself that it wasn't his failing that day that led to him losing you. You know he still keeps pictures of you in a box under his bed. He still has dates memorized in his head—your birthday, your anniversary, the day you said you loved him, the day you were going to graduate together, the day he wanted to propose to you.

You've also watched every time his teammates brought you up, whether on accident or on a mission. How Yongseung tensed before listening extra close. He believed the lies that kept you alive at Silk Snow. Of course he did. It was easy to believe you would hate him the moment he started hating himself.

You feel Yongseung shake against you, sobs racking through him as his knees tremble and he struggles to keep himself upright even with your support. You lead him down to the floor, not letting go of him for a second. As much as he clings to you, weeping inconsolably, you can't bear to let go of him either. You're holding yourself strong, not letting your emotions overwhelm you, but you can feel your control slipping away.

You love Yongseung. Despite it all, the only thing you've wanted these past three years was to get back to him. You never blamed him for what happened, nor could you bear to hold his guilt against him. His earlier spew about Silk Snow's defenses being too strong to sneak in and back out alive were all lies. You know it better than anyone.

There were many times that Yongseung snuck into the enemy base, going completely unnoticed by the entire alliance. You always held out a little hope that he would follow through with it, but each time his own fears prevented him from reaching you. You'd watch him work his way through the base systematically, always stopping a room or two before yours. He'd wait a few minutes before turning back. If you had ever decided to confront him before he left, who knows whether you might have reunited a year or two sooner.

You decided to be patient for precisely the reason now present. Yongseung in ruin in your arms, and you holding onto him like you'll never let go. You stroke his hair, run your hands up and down his back, feel the muscles of his arms. Anything you can reach to compensate for three years away from him. You know you would never have gotten more than a few minutes alone if he found you in Silk Snow's base. Reuniting here is better. You're each on your separate missions, free from the prying eyes of each alliance. No one will interrupt you here, or even know that you hunted down Yongseung not to kill him, but to get him back.

"Seung, you're okay," you whisper once you feel that he's been crying for too long, and with no sign of calming down. You cup his tear-stained face and gently wipe away the signs of his distress. His eyes are glassy, soft, guilty. You find him incredibly beautiful like this, as much as you hate the expression.

"Say it again. Please."

You smile and stroke his cheek. "Seung. My love."

You watch the crease between his brows soften and eyes glimmer with fondness and adoration. The past years have worn down you both in different ways. You're ready to patch up the wounds with him.

"I love you," Yongseung says breathlessly. It's your turn to blink back tears. You've waited so long to hear those words from him again. "I love you," he repeats earnestly.

You lean in, grazing your lips against his gently.

"I love you too."

You whisper it against his lips, waiting just enough time for a small smile to form on his face and his heart to flutter in his chest before you kiss him again. It's not as gentle this time. You don't think you can bear another moment without kissing him as hard as you can. So you do, and the minute you start, it's like you flipped a switch in Yongseung. The tears, the guilt, the fear—they all disappear.

Yongseung kisses you with everything he has. The longing and passion of three years apart is almost overwhelming. He still tastes familiar. Not entirely the same as you remember, but still him in enough ways for your head to spin. You remember kissing him just like this. Your hands in his hair tugging him closer while his cup your cheek and waist, pouring everything he has into it. You could cry in relief and happiness at finally having him back.

Your fingers trail down to his neck. You're caught off guard when you brush against something wet. You pull away, realizing it's blood. Your sword cut him while you were trying to get answers. It isn't much. He's barely bleeding, but you hadn't meant to hurt him. You panic for a moment and try to wipe it away. The blood stains your fingertips. Yongseung stops you, catching your wrist and bringing it away from his neck.

"I wasn't done kissing you," he frowns.

"You're bleeding. I didn't mean to hurt you," you start. Yongseung presses his lips to yours before you can continue. You don't fight it, melting into him again.

Yongseung has always been able to kiss you in a way that makes your head spin and stomach turn. You're not sure how he does it. Even short pecks leave your lips buzzing for minutes. The longer kisses—like this one—occupy your mind for hours after. You take some pride in being the only one to have ever tasted his lips. His kisses are only yours to receive. When his tongue tangles with yours and a soft groan of content leaves his throat, you know that it is all for you. Three years of longing, all for this moment when you crash back together.

It's almost an hour later when you've settled comfortably next to Yongseung that you decide the address some of the things left unspoken. His face is nestled in the crook of your neck, and he leaves soft pecks and nips on the skin there while you fiddle absentmindedly with one of his hands; tracing his veins and mapping out the dips of his knuckles.

"I never blamed you for it," you tell him softly, a sad smile on your face as you think back to three years ago. "I was scared, and I wished things hadn't happened like that, but I never thought it was your fault. I thought about our promises a lot. I wondered if they could still come true in the future."

"I was the one who broke them," he mumbles quietly. He nuzzles his nose closer against your skin and you hush him softly.

"I broke mine too. I told you I would stay by your side—that you wouldn't be alone, yet I made you think I hated you for the past three years."

"You had to. You did it to stay alive," Yongseung pulls back, staring at you seriously. "Thank you for staying alive. I wouldn't be able to live if I lost you for good."

"I want to fulfill those promises with you. I don't care that it's three years late. I want to stay with you. It may not be exactly what we had imagined years ago, but we can still make a life together. I still want you, Yongseung. I don't care about anything else."

"What about Silk Snow? They don't let people go like Onyx does. Can you escape?"

"There is a way," you smile slyly. "Silk Snow are powerful, yes, but they can't compete with me. I've been their sole strategist for the last three years. You really think I didn't give myself a way out along the way?"

Yongseung looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky just for him. "I want to kiss you again."

You grin, elated, and tug his collar until his lips crash into yours. Your mission these past three years has finally come to one glorious end.

© slytherinshua ── do not repost translate or copy　⸝⸝⸝　join my taglist!

@fantasia-films @k-records

It’s funny, isn’t it? How you're able to pinpoint the moment your world started falling apart. 

Just like in the old days, your friend group planned a hangout. 

A day out together. 

It had been a couple of months since you all saw each other since work, and everyday life had become important now that you have been thrown into the world of "adulting." 

The day was supposed to end with a dinner, which your boyfriend should've shown up to just like the rest of your friends' partners had. 

You couldn't eat. Your stomach twisting and your mind racing.

The previous night, you and Gyehyeon had a conversation that turned into a fight. Both of you got defensive and raised your walls. 

You were upset, and he was closed off. 

You told Gyehyeon how important this dinner was for you, giggling as you detailed the group chat plans and how you couldn't wait to introduce your friends to your sexy boyfriend.

He laughed at that, "So I'm just your sexy boyfriend? You want me to go and just be your arm candy."

"Exactly. I need you to show up and look pretty. You are the prettiest boy I've dated."

Meeting Gyehyeon was the one good thing in your life. Everything else could fall apart- so long as he were with you; it wouldn't matter. 

You loved him too much to lose him.

You stretched on your bed, reaching out to boop his nose. He gave you his lopsided smile, stretching his arms behind his head, "Well, so long as you pay for dinner and dessert, I'll go." 

He would've paid for dinner once the bill came.

"Hey, everything okay? Do you need a lift?" Yongseung came to check on you after you paid your bill, exited the restaurant, and found you slumped on the sidewalk.

"Huh? Oh, my boyfriend was supposed to come and we would've left together. He didn't show up, so I would get a taxi, but..." you bit your lip.

Youngseung heard your shaking voice, noticing how tightly you clenched your phone when it buzzed, and the disappointment on your face when you lowered it. He said nothing as he sat next to you.

"I don't want to go home right now. We fought last night, and it did not end well." 

You smiled, looking up at the sky. 

Yongseung didn't miss your teary eyes.

"It seems silly now, but it was so important then. Gyehyeon is not picking up my calls, and it's so unlike him. I'm worried something is wrong. Did I mess up?" You weren't looking for an answer; your best friend knew that. 

"Man, I was so excited to meet him. I guess I'll just have to wait for the next group hangout." 

You laughed, wiping your nose with your sleeve, "Thank you," you whispered, "Really, you're the best."

Yongseung turned away from you, noticing your eyes welling up again. He stood, grabbing your hand to bring you along, "I know, don't mention it. Now,"

He stretched his legs while you gave him a confused tilt, cute, he thought before flicking your forehead.

"Race you to the parking garage!"

He shouted back at you, laughing and dodging your punches. 

. ⁀➷𖤐!

He took your punches.

Rather than hurt your bloodied hands against the wall, he took your punches, he took in every scream until your lungs gave out, until all you could do was chant out a name and a plea.

Gyehyeon. Not him, please.

Yongseung wondered how you managed to stay composed and not scream when the police officer told you the news. How deeply did you love Gyehyeon?

This was honest and unfiltered devotion. 

You loved Gyehyeon so intensely that it hurt to have him cut out of your life too abruptly. Actually, hurt didn't begin to describe what you were feeling, your friend realised as he carried you to your bedroom.

You had passed out. 

. ⁀➷𖤐!

A dull ache woke you up. Your head and hands hurt, and your eyes stung. You tried to rub your eyes awake.

Yongseung, who was sleeping on the floor, woke up to a hiss; you had opened up the cuts on your hands.

"Let me go get the band-aids. I'll be right back."

You heard him shuffle out of your room, rubbing his eye and yawning loudly; you couldn't say anything back in acknowledgement or thanks. It took everything in you not to scream as you recalled why your hands were bruised and bloodied.

Gyehyeon is gone.

His scent clung to his pillow, and his favourite blanket clung to you; you wanted to throw up.

Yongseung returned to find you dry heaving after emptying last night's dinner. He didn't say anything as he held your hair back, and when you were done, he patted your forehead with a wet towel and wiped your face clean. 

You sat motionless.

Numb.

Gyehyeon is gone.

The police officer told you that Gyehyeon had been in an accident. His car was hit and spun a few times before hitting a tree. The first responders were able to get him out and rushed him to the hospital.

Gyehyeon is gone.

Yongseung saw the entire conversation play out, only rushing out when you stumbled and the officer helped you sit on the curb.

You didn't say anything on the ride to the hospital. 

Gyehyeon was gone by the time you arrived.

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒:

𝐢 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐢𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐱! 𝐢𝐟 𝐢 𝐚𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐤, 𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐭. 𝐢 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 :)

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓:

persona 5

imagining the phantom thieves in genshin impact! (kits, headcannons and teams because i'm a nerd)

genshin impact - yoimiya, baby you’re a firework! - haikaveh, summertime sadness  - haikaveh, born to die - haikaveh greek god headcanons - (wip) alhaitham, mirage of whispering petals

optional bias!

- cupcakes, high school!au - privacy, married couple!au - privacy (2) married couple!au - now or never, enemies!au - cherry, highschool/enemies!au

golden child! - now or never, kim jibeom

verivery! - you, clouds, rain, jo gyehyeon - rest, bae hoyoung - melancholy tears of sadness, lee dongheon 

requested!

- bling bling, the boyz, hyunjae

“who is this girl?” i laughed putting my head on his shoulder when kangmin walked past to sit on my lap stretching out to lay his head on hoyoung’s lap. hoyoung put his arm around my shoulder resting his hand on my arm.

“who’s heon hyung talking to?” he looked up with his puppy eyes at the two of us and we shrugged then i glanced back up to look at dongheon. 

“some girl that’s been hanging with heon. she’s been clinging to him for the past few weeks.” yongseung came up behind us sticking his head in between hoyoung and my head. i bit my lip trying not to seem like i was pissed off, wait no was i being jealous?

“you being jealous there y/n?” hoyoung whispered in my ear and i glared at him before turning to slap him. i looked at minchan who was approaching the two in the kitchen but stopped before he was in view of either of the two.

“me? jealous? pft.” i rolled my eyes putting my hands down in my lap. when i glanced up again to look at heon, he turned his head around his shoulder straight at me. the way he smiled at me, made my whole world stop. through the people dancing i couldn’t look away. at all. i was definitely in love with him and every single one of the boys were catching on. i bit my lip when i kept eye contact with dongheon. 

“what the hell was that look?” hoyoung teased me laughing, to then i scoffed rolling my eyes lifting kangmin’s legs off of mine to walk away from this annoying situation. 

“i can’t take this anymore.” i said under my breath and as i was about to walk away, hoyoung grabbed my wrist turning me around pushing kangmin off of him. to which kangmin groaned then shot a glare at him before looking up at me. i shook my head pulling my wrist out of his hands. just as i walked past the kitchen, i heard the one sentence that made me stop. 

“you fucking fell in love with a girl and expect me not to care? i thought we had a good thing going?” she scoffed to which i turned over my shoulder to look at minchan who was now wide eyed staring straight at me. i bit my lip and stood as still as possible. then i heard dongheon speak up after her constant talking.

“yes i fell in love with y/n. you and i were strictly on a no feelings relationship so i don’t know what the hell happened to you but i fell in love with someone else and when i get the chance to-” when i heard those first seven words, i shot my head up to look at minchan not believing what i had just heard. just as dongheon was about to finish his sentence i got pushed from behind, ice pouring down my back. i screamed before slapping my hand over my mouth because i was realizing now that i was in view of dongheon and this girl. 

“y/n!” he ran towards me grabbing my wrist pulling me through the crowd of people, up the stairs and into his room, the door closing behind us. he pulled a hoodie out of his drawer as well as a towel from the bathroom and ran over to me. 

“take off your shirt and dry off with this. are you okay?” he panted while looking me straight in the eye. he turned around after he got a nod from me and patted my head. i took my shirt off and dried off with the towel he gave me, thank god it was water. i grabbed his hoodie taking a deep breath smiling before pulling it over my head. 

“i’m done changing.” i smiled again when he turned back around to face me. he walked up to me and i completely stopped breathing when he put both hands on my cheeks. 

“you heard every word i said didn’t you?” his eyes darted from my eyes to my lips, then back down to my eyes. i nodded avoiding all eye contact. 

“i-i tried not to. i won’t tell-” i started rambling because i was nervous. of course i was nervous. dongheon was inches away from my face and he was laughing. i couldn’t stop looking at him because my god was he good looking when he smiled. 

“you won’t tell who? y/n did you even hear the name i said?” he scoffed laughing then put his arms around my waist. he pulled me towards him his chest up against mine. 

“i mean i did but-but i just thought it was a mistake. there’s no way you would say my name.” i laughed nervously and dongheon tilted his head. he narrowed his eyes then licked his lips. 

“what are you talking about y/n? i said your name. of course i said your name. you’re the girl i’m in love with.” he smiled rubbing the back of his neck before taking my hand into his.

“you’re what?” i gasped to which he laughed at then walked back over to me. he placed both of his hands in the crook of my neck before pulling me inches away from his face.