Surely they'd known what they were doing when they had decorated - the red and white condom packages in elaborate, decorative bowls shaped like ornaments; the variety of grab-and-go props like oversized Santa hats and something called Jingle Balls, which looked to be some kind of cock ring. With bells.
He would pass on that one, personally.
What he had snagged, however, was a rogue wisp of mistletoe, which he had immediately taken to draping over his own head whenever he spied someone cute enough to take the time for. ... Which, admittedly, was the majority of the event.
He sidled up to the next lucky bachelor, feeling just buzzy and warmed enough from eggnog to close the distance completely and press his bare chest against the other employee's side.
"Oh, funny that. Y'know what they say about mistletoe, darlin'?"