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If you were honest with yourself, you weren’t really sure why you let it happen, but you did, and now you had to deal with it. Shiratorizawa was hosting the first track meet of the season, inviting five other schools to compete, and you were excited for it. Goshiki had mentioned to Tendo that your first meet was happening and apparently the whole volleyball team was coming to watch you.

The stands were pretty full, mostly Shiratorizawa students and members of all the different track and field clubs who weren’t competing today, but there for support. There were loud cheers when the Shiratorizawa girls and boys competing today stepped onto the field together. Not everyone was participating today for various reasons. It was mostly third years, half the second years, and a few select first years debuting this meet.

You stood with the boy’s team captain and waved at your fellow student body. A series of loud squeals erupted and chants of “Go-shi-ki sen-pai win!” sounded from the stands, making you laugh. You had your own small fan club and they were easy to spot, waving hand made signs with your name and phrases like “Fly Senpai” and “Dream Captain” written on them. A blush rose to your cheeks as you spotted your brother and the boys from the volleyball team sitting with your fan club. Tendo and your brother had even taken one of their signs and started waving it around together with large grins on their faces. It made you happy to see your sibling enjoying himself.

Turning to the boy’s captain, you held out your hand to him and shook his, wishing him and the boys good luck. Separating, you led the girls in doing stretches before wrapping up with a speech about how they should only think about doing their best and if they just gave it 100% of themselves, then there wouldn’t be any regrets at the end of the day. The whistle blew, signaling the start of events.

Your first event was the 100 meter dash. Heading over to the start, you did some last minute leg stretches before bouncing up and down to loosen up your limbs. Some of the girls from the opposing schools openly stared at you and you smiled at them, despite their judgmental gazes.

You wore maroon, high waisted bun huggers and the classic white school jersey with maroon accenting, the symbol for captain on your chest above your heart and the nation’s flag was sewn on your jersey as well, showing you were a part of the national team. Your long hair was neatly tied into a singular Dutch braid with a maroon ribbon.

“I saw in a magazine that she runs for the national team dressed like that too. How indecent!” a few girls whispered down the line from you.

Turning your head, you grinned and they gasped, realizing you heard them. “In fact I do. If I could compete nude, I would. Clothes just slow you down,” you spoke matter of factly. “Too bad our society operates on outdated patriarchal principles intended to suppress women, right?” Giving them a friendly wink, you set yourself up and waited for the signal.

Ready. Set. Go.

You were off in a heart beat and suddenly it was over as you crossed the finish line first. 12.45 seconds. Breathing deeply, you walked it off. You could go faster, but that was plenty to beat them this run. There were only four schools at this meet so according the schedule you had one more go at improving that time. You shook hands with the runners and headed onto the field where one of your team managers handed you a cool towel and water bottle, escorting you across the field to the other side of the track for the 110 meter hurdles. 

13.07 seconds. You came in first, but again that was another time you wanted to improve your next go around. You spent the next 30 minutes relaxing and waiting on your turn for your final 100 meter dash, cheering on your teammates and congratulating them on their wins, encouraging them on their losses. It used to feel heavy to you, helping your teammates shoulder their losses, but now it was almost second hand to you.

Your 100 meter dash came and went quickly. You clocked a healthy 11.58 seconds, but you still weren’t satisfied. Your goal for all of your events was the world record and then to crush it. Walking around a bit, you wrapped a jacket around your waist and made your way over to your fan club to distract yourself, personally thanking the small troupe for coming out to support you as always. You chatted with them a bit before moving on to your brother and his teammates.

“Sister, you’re doing great! I’ve never seen you run so fast before,” Tsutomu exclaimed.

“(Y/N) I’m going to join your fan club!” Tendo shouted as he stood proudly holding up the sign he had. Semi grabbed him and pulled him back down to sit, clearly annoyed.

“We’ve never been to a track meet before so your brother and the fan club have been explaining things to us,” Ohira spoke, offering a smile. The other boys gave their compliments and you chatted with them all, sure to give each of them attention. Ushijima was the last to speak to you.

“Are you competing in any other events?” he asked.

“I have to run hurdles one more time then I have two events left.”

“Is it normal to compete in so many categories?”

You laughed lightly and shook your head. “Not really. Most will just focus on one event. I normally run two or three for high school level meets. For the national team I focus on two, but this is a small meet with a low number of competitors so I’m lucky and get to do what I want today.”

“Excuse me. Captain, it’s your turn to vault,” came one of the third year managers.

“Thanks, I’ll be right there.” Turning to Ushijima, you smiled at him. “I’ve got to fly now.”

“Goshiki, what does your sister mean by fly?” you could hear the volleyball captain ask before you were out of earshot.

You tied the tail of your braid up into a knot at the back of your head and secured it before dusting up your hands and testing out your grip on your pole. The schools agreed on 10 feet to be the starting height. Your standard run at pole vault allowed you to clear 12.5 feet easy so this would be child’s play for a little while. Taking a deep breath, you held up your pole and bent your knees slightly before taking off with full commitment. With a thrust and leap of faith you waited for that moment before letting go of your pole, arching yourself gracefully over the bar. A smile spread across your lips as you felt yourself airborne, suspended in air. It was a peaceful moment just before your body impacted on the safety mat.

The rest of the day seemed to speed up. You had a few more runs at pole vault before you had to run your final 110 meter hurdles. Your time barely improved. There was a small break for lunch and then it was back to pole vaulting and then you had the 4 x 100 meter relay. You were the anchor and the rest of your team consisted of the next three fastest runners - two third years and one first year. Meeting with your team briefly, you offered some encouraging words before heading to your respective places, though by the looks of things, the first year still seemed to be in her head about it. Thank goodness she was running the third leg, you could make up for her if needed.

With a bang the race started. You counted the seconds in your head. If they ran at their optimal speeds, you wouldn’t have to look back, but you knew that today wasn’t a perfect day. Glancing back you felt your heart drop as the first year runner stumbled and fell.

“Kitagawa, it’s okay, just get up!” you called out, reaching out to her.

The first year pushed herself up and your brows furrowed as the other teams passed her. As soon as you felt the baton grace your fingers, you took off, gripping tightly as you made up for the mistake. Your face flushed as you stopped breathing for a moment, pushing through the last few steps.

Second place.

Breathing heavily, you let your head fall back as you walked it off, hands on your hips. You could feel your blood pump through your veins and your stomach felt tight. Feeling physically better, you shook hands with the competition before you headed over to your coach, who seemed pissed.

Second place.

“C-Captain, I’m so sorry,” cried Kitigawa, covering her face in horror. “I let us down.”

At seeing everyone’s dejected faces, you smiled faintly, resting one hand on the first year’s head and with the other, pulling her forward in a hug. You let her cry it out.

“Kitagawa, you should remember this feeling. Don’t ever forget it. Always remember how terrible it feels as a reminder to keep working hard so you never have to feel this way again. We did well enough to have one more chance today. That’s one more opportunity for you to prove to us you deserve to be a part of this relay team,” you spoke, your voice gentle yet firm. You spent a few more minutes thanking the third years for running so hard and doing their best, asking them to help their first year teammate overcome her nerves.

You finished up pole vault, just in time to run the final 4 x 100. The last competitor you had to beat made a mistake and knocked over the pole at 18 feet which you cleared, but just barely. You’d forgotten to make sure your braid was secured into a bun and it fell loose, making the pole wobble dangerously. It was a huge sigh of relief when it didn’t fall.

“Kitagawa, are you still nervous about messing up?” you asked her. When she didn’t reply, you set a hand on her shoulder and smiled brightly. “You already did the worst thing possible and we still qualified for the last run today. So no more pressure okay? Just run. You’ll be fine.” With those final words you went to your anchor position and waited.

And go.

Closing your eyes for a moment, you took several deep breaths before looking back. A smile stretched across your face as the pass was made to Kitagawa and she ran as hard as she could, no mistakes this time. As soon as your fingers could feel the metal, you took off, taking and maintaining the lead until the finish. Your relay team quickly ran over, lifting you up briefly in excitement, causing a joyful laugh to escape you. When they set you back down, you handed Kitagawa the relay baton and tapped the tip of your nose gently and sent her a wink, before going off to shake hands with all the runners.

It was 3:30PM and everything was on track for awards to be handed out at 4:30, so you cheered for your school from the stands, standing with the volleyball club and doing your best to get them fully involved. Ushijima was a bit of a hard one to get into the spirit. You made him hold a sign while you stood behind him and waved his arms above his head. Your fellow peers looked at you as though you’d grown another head, but you didn’t care. He was letting you do what you wanted.

Awards weren’t anything too fancy. First, second, and third place winners were called for each event, handed their respective ribbons, and then the winners would bow and thank everyone for coming. As captain, you shook the hands of all the other captains, socializing for a bit before it was finally over and you could shower and get some rest.

Right after you bathed, you collapsed on your bed, exhausted. Your spirit wanted you to go back out there and run, but your body was in charge right now and it was screaming rest.

A groan escaped you as your phone pinged several times. Glancing at the screen, you sighed, smiling. Your brother said the volleyball club wanted to treat you to dinner. You texted back, letting him know you didn’t want to go out, but if the boys brought back take out, you wouldn’t mind hanging out in someone’s dorm. Mere seconds later you got a thumbs up emoji, time, and dorm number.

You dressed in a pair of black knit bicycle shorts, white cropped top, and a cute pair of pink socks with peaches embroidered on the ankles. Slipping on your canvas shoes, you snuck into the boy’s dorm and knocked on the correct door. A boy from your year named Kawanishi opened the door, his expression neutral as expected, he stepped aside and let you in, briefly wishing you congratulations for winning.

“Thank you, Kawanishi.” You smiled brightly and gave a polite bow to him. Slipping your shoes off, you set them out of the way before walking into the dorm room.

Yunohama, another second year you recognized waved you over to where he and your brother sat on a bed. “Hey, (Y/N). Welcome to me and Kawanishi’s dorm. Make yourself at home. You can sit on our beds or wherever you like.”

Tsutomu smiled at you. “We’re going to the club room in a few minutes. They’re setting up right now.”

“Tsu, you made your older sister walk all the way over here? The club building’s in the opposite direction,” you pouted at him.

He sighed. “I’ll carry you, old woman.”

True to his word, your brother gave you a piggyback ride the entire way there, his upperclassmen teasing him the entire way. You only hugged onto your brother more tightly, relaxed. Opening the door to the club room, your eyes lit up and you clasped your hands together. The guys were gathered around a table that had so many different ingredients and there was a large stack of nori and three very large bowls of rice.

“Temaki party!” you cheered, getting off your brother’s back and stepping inside, making sure to leave your shoes out of the way. Your eyes were basically hearts as you looked at it closer.

“Goshiki told us this was your favorite,” Yamagata spoke.

“You’re the best, little brother,” you stated, wearing a truly happy expression he’d seen for the first time in a long time.

“We’re all hungry, just start eating,” he lightly scolded, embarrassed as he shoved a plate in your hands.

You hummed delightfully as you made a plate, everyone else following suit. Sitting down, Ushijima sat on one side while your brother sat on the other. Soon everyone joined and chatted casually while eating. Watching Tsutomu interact with everyone made you happy. You were absolutely proud of him for growing up so well. A hum from beside you stole your attention and you peeked to see Ushijima clumsily rolling his temaki. He stared with slight irritation as his rice and roe fell out the other end, having rolled it like a tube instead of a cone shape.

Leaning over to him, you whispered quietly, “Ushijima, can I make you a temaki please? I want you to try this combination of flavors and see what you think.”

He stared at you quietly for a moment before nodding. Okay, so you lied a little. You weren’t trying to get him to try something new. You knew he was obviously the prideful type and he was struggling so you created an opportunity to show him how to roll the nori. Slowly, you constructed the temaki, aware of how he was watching your hands closely to see how you rolled it together.

Handing him the roll, you smiled. “What do you think?”

“Good,” he replied after taking a bite.

Satisfied, you went back to eating and chatting. You glanced over at Ushijima to see the state of his rolls had greatly improved and he seemed to be enjoying himself a bit more. You smiled and immersed yourself into the conversation, sparking up a game of pin pon pan where Semi was the champ for three straight rounds, much to Tendo’s displeasure.

“Does anyone know how to give a massage?” you asked randomly, biting into your last temaki. The boys looked around at each other before shrugging or shaking their heads.

“Yamagata knows how,” your brother spoke absentmindedly. “He helped me the other day when I hurt my arm.”

“H-Hey, don’t go telling people,” Yamagata huffed. “And that wasn’t a massage, dummy. I only helped you stretch your arm out.”

“Oh, sorry.”

You smiled a bit awkwardly and got to your feet. “Well, I think I should head to bed. I’m feeling stiff and sore. I was so focused on showering after today, I forgot to stretch out and now it hurts all over. Thank you so much for everything today. I’ve had the best day ever. I’ll never forget it. Good night, everyone.”

They bid you good night and everyone slowly got up to clean. You were putting on your shoes when Ushijima approached you. “I’ll walk you to your dorm.”

You weren’t going to say no that gesture. The walk was comfortably silent, and very welcomed after a loud and active day. It wasn’t until you reached the building door that he spoke.

“I know how to massage.”

Your brows raised in surprise, slowly relaxing as you thought it over. You didn’t have a roommate and as long as no one saw him, then there wasn’t a problem. Plus, even though you’d just begun to spend more time around him, you observed him enough to know he wasn’t the type to say something he didn’t mean.

Motioning for him to follow, you made it to your dorm without crossing paths with anyone else. Your room was fairly simple, decorated with a few cute knick knacks like snow globes and little plants, photographs, and books. You had a couple of posters on the wall of a boy band and the upcoming Olympics as well as a world map, but that was it. It was clean, cute, and simple.

“Thanks so much, Ushijima, I’m really feeling it all over,” you sighed, a small whine to your voice. “Make yourself at home, okay?” You kicked off your shoes and walked over to your bed as you tied your hair up, plopping face down onto the mattress. You turned your head to the side, watching as he walked over and sat at the edge of your bed. Smiling, you turned your head the opposite way to look at the wall.

Your heart began to race as he swept your hair out of the way. His large hands began to make work at your neck and shoulders. Sweet sighs of content escaped you as he worked, easing your pain. A breathy moan escaped you as his powerful hands reached a particularly sore area below your shoulder blades. A blush rose to your cheeks when you heard yourself. Oh boy. You managed to reel it back and almost fell asleep as he finished up your back and sides.

This quiet time with him gave you a clear moment to think about the gentle giant in your bedroom. It’d been a little over a month since you first spoke to him and started spending more time in his presence. It was normal for you to have lunch with the volleyball team, an unspoken rule that your spot was beside him. He said it was to make sure you actually ate something. You noticed him more around campus and he would actively acknowledge you with a nod. He even invited you to have dinner a few times, sometimes with the team, other times just the two of you. You even went with him on runs through town a few times. As you analyzed these moments with him, you wondered if there was more to it. Only one way to find out.

“Hey senpai...do you like me?” you asked, voice softer than you meant it. But it was silent in your room and you knew he could still hear your question. You felt your eyes begin to water and suddenly felt foolish for opening your mouth. This was definitely one way to ruin something.

“I do,” he replied simply and easily. It was a bit too easily in your opinion.

“Senpai... I mean... Do you like me as more than just friends?” Biting your lip to stop it from trembling, you gripped your comforter tightly.

“I like you, (Y/N).”

You didn’t move, you felt frozen in place. Say something, you idiot. Stop staring at the wall and just say something (Y/N), please.

“I’ll let you rest.”

There was some shuffling and the lights were turned off, then the sound of your door opening and closing.

Shit.

The next day at lunch, you sat outside, climbing up to sit on a tree branch. You were reading another book for Japanese class, Kokoro by Natsume Soseki. Engrossed with the content in your hands, you barely noticed your phone go off. Fumbling with the device, you sighed at seeing 6 messages from your brother wondering if you were joining them for lunch and escalating to the point of asking if you’d been kidnapped. Another ping and your eyes widened as you hastily sent him a reply, telling him he didn’t need to report you missing to the school. You snapped a selfie of yourself in the tree, smiling and holding up a peace sign, and sent it to him, adding that you were just eating outside. His response was an angry emoji making you laugh.

Closing your eyes, you sighed and enjoyed the breeze and shade of the tree. It almost made you forget you were at school. You watched as a bird landed at the end of the branch you sat on. Staying silent, you wondered what kinds of things it’d seen in its life.

“Ushijima,” a female voice called out, making the bird take flight.

You pouted and looked around, noticing between the leaves and branches a girl running up to the said man. Your face lit up. He was silent as he turned to faced her.

“I saw you at the track meet yesterday cheering for Goshiki’s sister,” she started. How curious to bring you up. “I wanted to know if you’d come to my tennis match to cheer me on.”

“Will Goshiki’s sister be there?” You placed a hand over your mouth and your eyebrows raised at his question. Shifting, you reached for another branch and leaned forward, trying to listen better. As the wind pass through, it it was harder to hear over the rustle of leaves.

“No. Why would she be there?”

“I won’t be attending.”

“Oh... Sorry for bothering you.”

You grimaced as you felt yourself slip - your book and hardly eaten sandwich falling onto the ground below you - and now you were awkwardly clinging to one branch with your legs and had your hands pressed against another branch  that was too thick for you get a firm hold of, desperately trying not to fall. A loud gasp and squeal escaped you, eyes shutting tight, as your arms gave out from supporting the odd angle your body was in and you hung upside down, desperately trying to hold your skirt in place. This was definitely not the day to be wearing sheer panties.

“(Y/N). What are you doing?”

Oh hell.

You smiled and let out an uncomfortable laugh. “I slipped.”

“I see.”

Opening your eyes, you gasped at how close your faces were. If he were to just stand on his tip toes you were sure that- You bit your lip, not even entertaining finishing that thought.

“Do you... think you could help me down? I think I’m going to fall,” you confessed.

He nodded and walked around to stand behind you, reaching up to hold your waist. Tilting your head back, you let your skirt drop as you reached back for his shoulders, holding tightly as your legs let go. You felt your heart skip as he held you up seemingly without effort, and your mind was conflicted in whether you wanted him to put you down or not. He carefully set you down, but his hands lingered at your sides, as did your own on his shoulders.

As you stared into his dark olive eyes, you felt yourself break and there was no way to stop the flood of words that escaped you. “Ushijima, I have feelings for you. I want to have meals with you, and train with you. I want to talk to you all the time, in person, on the phone... I want to know what’s on your mind, no matter what it is. To touch you freely and be touched by you. And I want to support you at your games, and it’s selfish, but I want you to support me at mine and only mine. I want you to smile because of me. I want to know you.”