Sam Tyre, Staff Reporter

In his latest press briefing, President Trump brought up the latest in the search for a Wuhan Lab Communist Virus cure: marijuana. 

“Our administration has made a great discovery today, one of the greatest. And it tastes good. I have a hunch it cures the virus. People like it. They say it has made them feel better, like they were basically cured. It’s great. A big achievement.” When a Fake News reporter asked him if he was prescribed the treatment, he responded, “I discussed with him, a great man, and he said it was the best. It would make me feel really great. And I respect him, he’s a respectable man. He’s great.” 

He refused to comment on who he was referring to. Our reporter asked if he recommended that others take marijuana as well. He replied, 

“It’s great. It makes me really good. And happy. I feel great. I think everyone should, they should look into trying some of this cure. It seems to work, I’ve been told. I feel great. I use it in food, helps it go down easier. You can cook it in brownies. Have you heard of that, Doctor? It’s in brownies. You can, it can be cooked. It’s great. The best cure. I think everyone should be looking into taking it.” 

To gather more information on this new discovery, we spoke to a chiropractor, Micheal Rhoads. 

“I think it’s very promising. The President has been doing some thorough research, and it seems to be quite effective. There are some side effects, yes, but it still appears to help people. Several people have reported improved symptoms to disease, and it’s a good thing to look into. I think our President is doing a great job, and I hope we will have less interference by the Democrats. They keep attacking the President’s cures. He’s trying to save the country. He’s doing a great job. I have a medical degree, so I should know.” 

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