REVOLUTION!!
SOS SOS ROBESPIERRE HAS TAKEN OVER THE BUILDING
So we probably shouldâve been a bit more worried about that weird guy with a sword at the last DashCon 2. For those unaware, Robespierre crashed the 2025 convention in an attempt to overthrow the monarchy and slay the Ballpit Queen. The newly knighted Sir Strange of Ăons valiantly vanquished the interloper, but apparently her sword (Simoneâs Dadâs Claymore, a.k.a. the Muppetslayer) only works on MuppetsâRobespierre is back! His band of revolutionaries have now seized the bouncy castle. The clowns really donât like how heâs chosen to redecorate.
While Sir Strange and the Ballpit Queen have successfully escaped Robespierreâs wrath, the future of the monarchy is uncertain. Robespierre has sworn revenge and is calling for Sir Strangeâs execution on two charges of DashCon-spiracy, meanwhile, Strange has charged Robespierre with treachery and also being French.
As the only convention in southern Ontario with a guillotine permit, this puts us in a difficult position. The Muppet Jokerâs tragic demise had an equally tragic effect on our insurance premiums, and we simply cannot afford more senseless bloodshed. Thankfully, laws often get overlooked in times of Revolution, and weâve discovered that weâre allowed to commit crime if itâs a public service, as agreed upon by a democratic electorate. (You!)
As such, weâve negotiated a tentative agreement between the two parties.
The Eight Tenets of the Royal-Revolutionary âPut The Sword Downâ Agreement:
The 2026 conventionâs theme of âGalaxyâ has been toppled, overthrown by the revolutionaries and replaced with âRevolution!â (Galaxy is permitted to be used in a later year.)
The convention shall henceforth be referred to as DashCon 2: Vive La RÊvolution! as its official title.
The Ball Pit Queen shall not be executed (for now), but will have no legal power, instead being used as a figurehead in case an event needs a little pizzazz.
To appease our insurance overlords, the People (attendees of the convention) will be authorized to vote on who to kill. Each person will have only one vote, so cast it wiselyâor donât. Weâre not cops.
For accessibility of voting, VirtualDash attendees will also be able to vote on who to kill.
The People shall choose between executing either Sir Strange, Lord of Ăons, Wielder of the Muppetslayer and Honourable First Knight of the Realm⌠or Robespierre himself. Interesting.
He who is chosen to die will be executed via guillotine live on stage. (Robespierre was insistent.)
The severed head of the executed will be auctioned off for charity via raffle :)
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Vive la RĂŠvolution?
This message has been approved by Robespierre and his Band of Revolutionaries.
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
Sir StrangeâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.Strange Ăons. YouTuber and Tumblr historian. RobespierreâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ..Xiran Jay Zhao. YouTuber and bestselling author of Iron Widow. The Ball Pit QueenâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.âŚ.Lochlan OâNeil. Raccoon biologist and founder of the original DashCon.
