#violenthunt

⁽ ¹ ⁾ @violenthunt (natalie) / ⁽ ² ⁾ sc .

this would be perfect if kailey could have a cigarette right now, or could at least feel the cool evening breeze on her skin or whatever. the sliver of light blue is eaten by the horizon and one by one, the stars blink awake in the sky. what a privilege to remain on earth and be able to witness its beauty, and what a shame she can only enjoy it after she's already dead. “ i haven't felt night in a while, ” she admits. she was so preoccupied feeling sad and dead, and cold. but for some reason orla makes things very clear, and easier to feel more like a person. the ley line keeps kailey somewhat tangible like an artificial heartbeat, not-quite-here-but-not-yet-gone, and of course this makes her want to be more. but this is better than nothing at all, and at least she gets to feel the night, whatever that is, and share that with one of the few people who see her for what she is. “ i'm more here during the night, i've noticed. like haunting hours. why is that, do you know? ”

lazuli hates it. she’s not good at words like the others, her speech won’t flow and she stumbles over her thoughts. anytime she tries to sound poetic she makes nothing but a fool of herself, forced and childish and wrong, like all her tongue is good for are internet abbreviations and movie quotes. ( not like mazarin, who was born in satin and sounds like it, or cerise with the words and voice of an angel, or mauve’s ugly truths dressed like, like… like this. ) how is she even meant to respond? she’s disarmed with her back against the wall, and her lips begin quivering at the blame and betrayal. mauve isn’t wrong, and lazuli knows it, but mauve can’t know she knows. thank god she can’t see her like this right now, and that’s the point of lazuli’s self-imposed exile. “ lol are u fr? ” she types furiously in response. no point in letting the first message settle, why should she be kinder tomorrow? “ u knew messing around w/ bandmates was only gonna end badly. this is as much ur fault as mine ”

“  is  there  a  reason  why  you're  awake?  or  are  you  just  excited  for  your  show  tomorrow?  ”  she  tilted  her  head  and  layed  it  to  rest  on  her  knees  while  her  gaze  wandered  all  over  the  other  girl.  if  the  blonde  were  in  her  shoes  she'd  be  freaking  out.  mostly  because  margot  dealt  with  a  lot  of  anxiety  and  playing  a  whole  show  in  a  room  full  of  people  sounded  like  literal  nightmare  fuel  to  her.  and  if  anyone  knew  about  nightmares  it  surely  was  margot.

“ that makes two of us. . . ” the girl let out a sigh while still continuing to hold the eye contact with ronan. neither of them were good at talking about their personal things and it showed. sometimes it felt like because of it the boy was the only person in the world who could actually understand margot and where she was coming from. the things they endured in life made them build brick walls all around them and only a special few people were able to break through them. the blonde could count hers on one hand and honestly, she wasn't afraid of cutting of some of these fingers if necessary. “ but at some point we have to talk about these dreams we keep having. . . i think they might be connected in some way. . . ”

this is what makes practice tedious. they argue more than they play, they argue about arguing, they bet on different visions and they wager their friendship for it. now the clock's run out and everyone's scattered as quickly as they could, and though she usually is the first to fly, lazuli is locked behind the drums tonight. it seems her off-hand comments have spiraled into something that have trapped mauve with her here as well. lazuli is pouting because uhhh... she started to, and now she doesn't remember why, but there is no stopping because once in motion she stays in motion. her discontent is a cataclysm and her stubbornness a storm glass so they're kinda deadlocked right now. “ no but you said– ” she pipes up, before biting down on her lip. actually, she is the bad guy right now. she wants to be right, but she also doesn't want to be the bad guy. “ it sounded like you didn't want to hear out my suggestion. none of you did, but you really brushed me off. ” which is very easy to say when you've been brooding for over half an hour and ignored every olive branch extended your way from the other band members, only throwing back passive-aggressive reaction and poisonous comments. it's cool, all she needs is an apology, but mauve is like, SO frigid sometimes.