aries: your leggings are on backwards.

taurus: money comes your way. thank the spiders.

gemini: rid yourself of bad luck through amputation of your left foot.

cancer: seventeen steps back.

leo: leave your hat anywhere but your bed.

virgo: red wine spilt across white tablecloth.

libra: upturned bread on the table as two people argue.

scorpio: a wedding in the rain.

ophiuchus: gold and gemstones kept in a vase alongside silver and plague.

sagittarius: always leave the same way you came.

capricorn: your great-grandfather takes seven sips to finish his shot of whiskey.

aquarius: dough with crosses carved into it.