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The vast majority of media photos portray a single idealized form of woman: slim, straight haired, and White. Coming from frizz and chocolate skin this prevented me from ever reaching that expectation.
Growing up, in a predominantly white community I rarely saw someone with frizzy curls like me. Going to sleep over my friends houses they were able to just wake up and comb their hair. I, on the other hand, spent countless minutes trying to comb out all the knots and slick down my hair. I longed to have silky straight hair just like theirs.
I would beg my mom to let me get my hair straightened as often as I could. However, I was only allowed to get it done on special occasions, so my hair would “look nice”. And that's the thing. It was as if my hair did not already look nice. Like having curly hair like mine was a bad thing. I would go on for years longing for my hair to look like my friends around me. This soon led to me cutting off the frizzes in the front of my hair and looking crazy.
Additionally, my curves would never match to their slim and straight bodies and I had a hard time accepting that. The people around me had what I perceived as “the perfect body” slim and straight. I would look at myself in the mirror after showers and wonder why I didn't look like that as well.
All these societal beauty standards that I idolized soon would haunt me. I would pile mounds of gel to flatten my hair and get rid of the frizzes, overwork my body by trying to do as many workouts as possible and would cut out all foods I thought were “bad”. This had consumed me and was all I thought about. I had convinced myself I was just trying to live a healthier lifestyle, but I became overly obsessed with reaching these unattainable goals.
I had not become comfortable with my curls until I moved to Berkeley, California where I saw many others with hair like mine. I was encouraged to wear my hair down more often and taught which products help with frizzes. I was no longer insecure about how my hair looked to others around me. I learned to embrace it and be proud of who I am.
I would also soon learn in my health class that what I was doing to my body would only hurt it. I learned how to live a healthy lifestyle while maintaining a healthy body weight. I also learned that all bodies are different. If everybody in the world worked out and ate the same our bodies would still be different. Each person is made in a unique way and should embrace that.
I sometimes look in the mirror and don't like what I see, but it's important to note that no two bodies are alike, and they all work differently. What works for someone else's body does not work for you. We, as people, must work together to reshape the world's perception of beauty. And it all begins with you taking on the part of being your own role model.
