[MSG:] Have I ever told you you’re sexy when you’re mad?

penelope - > wyatt: can you not i’m really not in the mood 

 [MSG:] This party is like Girls Gone Wild, except all the girls are over the age of seventy and they have all their clothes on. And they’re playing poker. And it’s my grandma’s funeral. 

penelope - > wyatt: explain yourself, why are you thinking about girls gone wild with old ladies?

penelope - > wyatt: i like you a lot btw, i hope you’re okay!

[MSG:] I learned a lot of things at summer camp. How to steer a canoe, how to light a campfire, how to eat a girl out…

penelope - > wyatt: is this your way of sexting?

penelope - > wyatt: i’m cool with you showing me all of those, honestly :-)

[MSG:] I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is.

penelope - > wyatt: WHAT

not prepared for this pls

"You belong with me. Not him."

Blake drew in a sharp breath at the possessive tone Kade’s voice held, even through the speaker, causing her to clutch her phone closer to her ear as he spoke. The brunette let a moment of silence pass between them, glancing over her shoulder at the nameless, sleeping body on the strange and unfamiliar bed next to her. She knew she’d have to be quiet if she didn’t want to wake him. This wasn’t where she belonged, and she knew that— but rage and drunken bitterness led her to her current position, and this time, Blake knew she had made a mistake. “Okay,” the exhausted girl muttered through trembling lips, nodding her head to herself as she heard the relieved sigh Kade let out over the phone. “We still need to talk about some things. But I’m sorry. I love you. I’ll be home soon,” she promised quietly, before hanging up without further discussion.

this is so not ok ay i cry

bladE i’m weepin pls my babies

[text] Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten

[text]: babe where did you even get pie

[text]: nevermind, i don’t wanna know. i’m working over for another hour or two so it’ll be a little bit before i get home

[text]: save one of each for me though. love you

[text] Let’s play a little game called “Chill the Fuck Out” - you’re our first contestant

[text]: or we can play “Stop Being a Fucking Dick”

[text]: can you just tell me where you are? i need to go over these bills and i’m not gonna do it alone again

[text] never. drinking. again.

[text]: that’d be kinda nice, considering the amount of money we blow on alcohol every week